Sit Still
by becauseihaveyourback
Summary: Jane and Maura search for answers in a string of bizarre murders while also dealing with Maura's sudden onset of Jane-centric nightmares. Maura uses science to investigate her feelings for Jane. Eventual Rizzles. Some references to material from season 4 and earlier, no spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

"_Get out of the car, Maura!" Jane yelled, drawing her gun and firing towards their attackers._

"_I- My leg is stuck!"_

_Maura pulled desperately to free her leg from where it was trapped in the wreckage of the car, but she couldn't move it. Her vision started darkening from the intensity of the pain, and she could barely make out Jane's words as she struggled to focus on her surroundings._

"_Maura, MOVE! You need to get out of the car!" Jane commanded as a bullet shattered the windshield of the car, causing shards of glass to rain down on them both._

_Maura tried again to free herself, and again found that her leg was impossibly stuck._

"_I can't, Jane! I can't move my leg!"_

_She could hear the desperation in her own voice, and she could feel her chest tightening with the horrible realization of what would happen if she couldn't get out of the car. Jane was outnumbered and she wouldn't be able to hold off their assailants for much longer. _

_The detective reached back and unlocked the passenger side door of the car, then quickly but carefully maneuvered herself backwards, over Maura's trapped leg, and out the door._

"_Grab my waist and I'll try to pull you out. Hurry!"_

_The medical examiner did as instructed, crying out in pain as her friend struggled to get her out of the car. She, too, was unsuccessful. Feeling her consciousness slipping, Maura grasped a small section of Detective Rizzoli's blazer to steady herself, but was shocked to feel the detective moving out of her grasp._

"_I can't wait for you, Maura. I'm sorry," Jane said, pulling away and moving farther and farther out into the trees._

"_Ja-"Maura's cry was cut short when a searing pain tore across her throat, and she reached up to find blood cascading down her neck and soaking into her clothes._

_She tried to call out for Jane, but no sound came out. As darkness began to creep in from all corners of her vision, she could distinctly make out the form of a tall, muscular man pointing a gun directly at her face, followed by the flash of the muzzle and the loud crack as he pulled the trigger._

* * *

Maura shot up quickly as she awoke from the terrible nightmare, her throat still burning from where the imaginary bullet had grazed her. She was safe in her bed. No one was shooting at her. It had simply been a projection of her subconscious as her brain solidified its memories while in its resting state. Dreams were not real. The pain, however, was all too real. Before she could fully process why her throat felt so raw, the door to her bedroom flew open.

"Maura, honey, are you okay?" Angela Rizzoli asked, sounding panicked.

In other circumstances, the medical examiner would probably have laughed at the sight of her best friend's mother wearing pink pajamas and wielding a tea kettle as a weapon. On this particular morning, however, she simply cleared her throat and winced in pain as she nodded.

"Ma? What's going on?"

Maura felt her muscles tense at the sound of Jane's voice coming from Angela's cell phone, which she had apparently carried with her up to Maura's bedroom. She must have put it on the speaker setting so that Jane could hear everything on her end.

"It's okay, Janie. I think she was just having a nightmare," Angela stated as she lowered her tea kettle, visibly relaxing.

"Well, I'm still coming over. I'll be there soon."

Maura shook her head, even though she knew Jane couldn't see her.

"No, Jane," Maura winced, surprised at how rough her voice sounded, "You don't need to do that. I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine, Maura. I'm coming over."

Maura was going to further argue her point, but Jane had already hung up the phone.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Angela asked, crossing over to the bed and peering at Maura with concern. "You were screaming so loud I thought someone had broken into the house."

She paused, waiting for a response that she didn't get, as Maura wouldn't meet her gaze. "Let me get you a tissue, honey."

Confused, Maura reached up to her face and realized that there were tear trails running down both of her cheeks. She whispered her thanks to mama Rizzoli as she wiped her eyes, still shaking as images from her nightmare pushed themselves back into her consciousness.

Angela sat on the edge of the bed, her full attention on the medical examiner. When she spoke, she did so very quietly.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Maura shook her head, still not making eye contact with the older woman.

"It was just a very unpleasant dream. Everything is fine."

Angela nodded silently and stood up to leave the room, turning one last time in the doorway to check on Maura. The medical examiner looked up at her and managed a small, but still obviously fake, smile.

"Thank you, Angela. I appreciate your concern, but I'm alright. Really."

Mrs. Rizzoli was still not convinced, but she smiled and made her way back downstairs to wait for Jane. She knew her daughter would have better luck getting the ME to open up about the terrible nightmare.

* * *

"Maura?" Jane whispered as she gently pushed open the door to her friend's bedroom.

"It's okay, Jane. I'm not sleeping," came the hoarse reply from the medical examiner.

The detective opened the door the rest of the way and walked over to where her friend was still tucked under the covers, handing her a cup of tea as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Ma said it would help with your-" she motioned to Maura's throat instead of finishing her sentence.

"Thank you," the medical examiner whispered as she sipped the steaming contents of the mug.

Jane watched her intently, searching for any indication of how her friend was actually feeling. She could tell that the dream had shaken her up, but she couldn't get a sense of how bad it really was.

"So, Ma says you were really screaming at me in here," Jane began, pausing as Maura's cheeks darkened with embarrassment. "I guess I really pissed you off, huh?" She smiled, waiting for Maura to laugh or smile in return, but instead the medical examiner just shook her head and continued drinking her tea.

"Maura, look at me."

After a brief hesitation, Maura looked up from her tea to meet Jane's gaze. She gave a sad smile as she shrugged her shoulders almost imperceptibly.

"It was just a dream. It wasn't even very realistic," Maura said softly, her voice seeming to have improved a little from the tea. The detective was unconvinced.

"The windshield shattered, Jane," Maura stated, as if this fact should be the obvious answer to Jane's question.

"Oh, well, if the windshield shattered then I guess we're all good. See you tomorrow!" Jane replied with feigned excitement, perking up at the smile that crossed Maura's face when she recognized the detective's signature sarcasm.

"No, Jane. I just mean that, in my dream, the car windshield shattered," She paused, but the detective still stared at her in confusion, so she continued. "Most vehicles actually use laminated glass in their windshields to prevent the deep, and sometimes lethal, lacerations that can be caused by shattering glass in an automotive accident. The dream was not grounded in reality. Also, the events depicted in my dream did not follow my memories of the actual experience. It wasn't real."

"So, your dream was based on a memory? And I was there, too?"

The medical examiner looked away again, silent.

"Ma said you were screaming, Maura. She said you called out for me. Was someone hurting you? What were you dreaming about?"

"Jane, please," Maura whispered.

The detective scooted closer to her friend, taking the tea from her hands and setting it on the bedside table. She took Maura's hands in her own, waited for her to make eye contact, and then spoke.

"Maura, I've never seen you like this before. I'm just worried about you. Talk to me, please."

Maura sighed, then seemed to relax a little as she followed Jane's request.

"I was dreaming about when you and I were in the car accident. In my dream, I couldn't get out of the car because I couldn't move my leg. I was really stuck."

Jane gently squeezed her hands, knowing that there was more to the story and encouraging her to continue.

"The windshield shattered, and I got shot," Maura finished quickly, pulling her hands from Jane's and making her way towards the bedroom door.

"It was just a dream, Jane. Let's go make some breakfast."

The detective sensed that there was more to the dream, but Maura had made it very clear that she was done discussing the matter, so she stood up and made her way downstairs.

"Okay, okay, I'll eat some breakfast. But only if you're cooking."


	2. Chapter 2

"What have we got, Frost?" Detective Rizzoli asked as she and Dr. Isles entered the hotel room crime scene.

"The victim is 34 year old William Silver, from Texas. His cousin found him this morning when he failed to show up for his rehearsal dinner last night. He was in town for his wedding, Jane."

Jane stopped to look at her partner.

"His cousin's wedding?"

Frost shook his head sadly.

"No, his own. His fiancée's family lives in Boston, so they were getting married here. We're bringing in the fiancée for questioning. Relatives, too."

Jane nodded silently and followed Frost over to the armchair in the corner of the hotel room. She carefully examined the scene while Maura began examining the body.

"The body is in full rigor with internal temperatures corresponding to the environmental climate."

"So, he's been dead since last night?"

"It appears so, yes."

The man was dressed in a suit with the jacket hanging over the arm of the chair. His hands were resting on top of his knees, palms down, covered in blood. The detective noticed something.

"Maura, are those _nails_ in his hands?" she asked, pointing at the victim's hands.

The medical examiner leaned in closer to examine his hands, then shook her head.

"The object appears to be much larger than a typical common nail or roofing nail. The head is approximately three-quarters of an inch in diameter."

She gripped the top of the object and pulled, sliding it up and out of the victim's hand with little effort.

"Approximately four and a half inches in length. Half an inch in diameter along the length of the spike."

Jane took a few steps closer to get a better look at the object.

"So, it's a really big nail?"

Maura gave the detective a playfully annoyed look that resulted in a pleased grin spreading across Jane's face.

"No, Jane, it's a railway spike," the medical examiner corrected. "See how the tip is more of a wedge than a point, and the head is L-shaped? This type of spike would have been used to build railroads in the early twentieth century."

The detective tilted her head as she thought out loud,

"So, our killer murdered the victim using… really old railroad spikes?"

There was the look again. And Jane's grin in return.

"I haven't been able to determine a cause of death yet. Also, I said that this _type_ of spike was used to build railroads in the early twentieth century. I did not say that this _particular_ spike was from that era."

Jane rolled her eyes and made a face.

"Oh, _come on, _Maura. Look at that thing! It's covered in rust! It's definitely old."

"I will have to run some tests to determine the origin of this particular railway spike."

"Fine. But if it turns out to be from the early century of whatever, then _you_ owe me a beer."

Maura seemed to consider this for a moment, then said with a smile,

"I thought you would just help yourself to a beer out of my fridge, anyway. I've never had to owe you one before."

Jane opened her mouth as if to protest, then nodded in agreement,

"Good point."

* * *

As the day passed, Maura felt the contents of the previous night's dream turning into more and more of a distant memory. After all, it really had not been a realistic representation of the events that had transpired the day of the accident, and clearly it was nothing for her to continue concerning herself with, right? The fact was that Jane _had_ been able to get her out of that car, Jane _had_ stayed with her, and Maura _had not_ been killed. To incorporate the false information from the dream into her reality would be foolish. She was no fool.

"Hey, Maura," Jane said as she walked into the ME's office, seeming to be missing her normal amount of confident energy.

The detective took a seat on Maura's couch, threw her head backwards and closed her eyes.

"Uuugh," she groaned, "there's no coffee, and I'm so tired!"

Maura smiled and shook her head, imagining that Jane must have behaved in a remarkably similar fashion when she was a child.

"Well, Jane, you're more than welcome to take a nap in my office if you need to."

Jane opened her eyes and gave Maura a playfully accusing glare before saying,

"This is all _your_ fault anyway. I was actually sleeping really good until my panicked mother called and woke me up this morning."

She realized as she said it that it was a mistake. Although Maura tried to hide it, Jane could see that she was actually hurt by what the detective had intended as a playful jab.

Jane stood up quickly and went over to where her friend was sitting at her desk, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as she spoke.

"Hey, Maura, I was only kidding. I'm sorry. I didn't think- I'm sorry. And hey," she paused, "I wasn't actually sleeping that good before Ma called anyway."

She smiled, relaxing when Maura returned the expression.

"You weren't sleeping _well_," the medical examiner pointed out, before continuing, "and I'm sorry that I disturbed you both. I can't imagine how loud I must have been for Angela to have heard me from the guest house."

Jane took the opportunity to make another effort at finding out what was so troubling to the ME.

"Yeah, Ma said you really scared her. But I'm sure she couldn't have been anywhere near as scared as you must have been to make all that noise."

She paused.

"I really wish you'd talk to me about it. I know it's still bothering you, and I just want to help."

Maura smiled at her friend, but shook her head firmly.

"It's nothing, Jane. It was a dream. I was very scared, but the contents of the dream are unimportant now. It's over."

"So, you haven't been thinking about it at all since this morning? You're completely fine?"  
Maura opened her mouth to speak, but changed her mind.

"Hives, Maura," Jane said, reminding her not to attempt a lie.

The medical examiner gave a slight shrug.

"Sure, I've thought about it a little bit. I just don't see what makes this dream any different from other nightmares that I've had in the past."

Jane's jaw dropped and her eyes widened at the apparent absurdity of Maura's statement.

"Uh, _well_, unless you wake up screaming bloody murder from _all_ of your nightmares, then I think that probably makes this one a little different. And I'm sure that _I'm_ not in all of your nightmares either, am I? So, there. Different."

"Actually, research indicates that between 90 and 95 percent of all dreams are forgotten quickly after waking. So, it is technically possible that you may have been in a substantial number of my nightmares without me ever having recalled it."

Jane looked at her friend in disbelief for a moment before responding.

"Okay, that would just be creepy. And stop trying to change the subject!"

Maura just laughed as Jane watched her closely, trying for the second time that day to find some indication that the medical examiner was actually okay.

"You'd tell me if there was really something wrong, wouldn't you?" Jane asked quietly.

The laugh faded from Maura's face as she prepared to answer the serious question that she had been asked.

"Of course, Jane. I'm fine."

Jane seemed to examine her facial expression for a moment before standing up and calling as she headed for the door,

"Then let's go to Boston Joe's. I need some caffeine!"

Maura laughed as she grabbed her purse and jacket.

Jane pretended not to see the hives appearing around her friend's collarbone.


	3. Chapter 3

"_Nice of you to join us, Dr. Isles," Hoyt said with a grin as he grazed the tender skin on her neck with the blade of his scalpel. "Did you think I wouldn't notice when a vial of my blood went missing?"_

_Maura bit her lip and refused to answer, refused to play Hoyt's game. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek and hoped that the serial killer wouldn't notice her fear._

"_Are you… are you crying, Dr. Isles?" he sneered, lowering his face so that he was looking her directly in the eyes._

_He waved the scalpel around in front of her face as he chuckled to himself._

"_You know, doctor, I find it very interesting that you would willingly pay me a visit," he mused, "after all the very bad things that I've done. Don't you agree, Detective Rizzoli?"_

_He turned his back to the doctor, looking across the room to where a prison guard was pinning Jane down against a hospital bed._

"_Just let her go, Hoyt!" Jane spat furiously._

_Hoyt tilted his head curiously and looked back and forth between Jane and Maura, a thought crossing his mind that caused his whole face to light up in a devilish grin._

"_I've got a better idea," he said with a smile, "I think I'll let _you_ go, detective."_

_Jane squinted at him in confusion._

"_Yes," he continued, "I think I'd like to continue our game in the future. But, I'm done playing with Dr. Isles."_

_Maura watched as the prison guard escorted Jane towards the door, and as Hoyt turned back around to place his full attention on the terrified medical examiner. When she felt her chest heaving painfully and her cheeks becoming wet, she realized that her quiet tears had turned into uncontrollable sobbing._

"_I'm sorry, Maura," Jane said quietly as she opened the door and walked out of the room._

_Grinning triumphantly, Hoyt gently caressed the side of Maura's face, then brought his scalpel up to rest against her neck. She screamed in pain as the scalpel sliced open her throat, and then her vision went dark._

* * *

"Maura! Wake up!" Jane yelled, sounding nearly panicked.

Maura awoke to find Jane holding her firmly by the shoulders and staring into her eyes with a terrified expression. Before she could open her mouth to speak, Jane had wrapped her arms around her and was squeezing her into a desperate hug.

"Are you okay?" Maura asked, confused.

Jane pulled back and looked at her in shock.

"Am… Am _I_ okay? Maura, I've been trying to wake you up for almost five minutes! Ma was trying to wake you up even longer, before I got here."

The medical examiner looked over towards the end of the bed where Angela was hovering, her face white as a sheet.

"I couldn't get you to wake up, and you were just crying so hard," Mrs. Rizzoli whispered.

"We thought you were having trouble breathing," Jane continued, "and then you started screaming again."

Maura's heart rate was gradually slowing down and she was pretty sure that she was no longer crying, although her cheeks were so covered in tears already that she couldn't be entirely certain. Angela handed her a tissue and then left the room, but not before giving a very purposeful glance of concern towards her daughter.

Jane just watched her for a minute as she dried her eyes, but Maura knew that she wouldn't be silent forever. Not long at all, in fact.

"Maura," the detective whispered. It was a desperate question that Maura didn't know how to answer.

"I'm sorry," Maura said without meeting her gaze.

Jane sighed, placing a hand on Maura's knee and leaning down so that she could look up into Maura's eyes.

"I don't want you to apologize, Maura. I want you to tell me what's going on. You're really starting to scare me."

It wasn't accusatory. The medical examiner knew her friend truly cared for her, but she wasn't sure how to explain the dreams that she'd been having. If Jane hadn't been in them, maybe it would have been easier.

"It was just another nightmare, Jane. I don't know what else you want me to say."

"Don't do that, Maura," Jane pushed, sounding slightly aggravated. "This isn't normal for you. Whatever it is that you're not telling me…" the detective didn't seem to know how to finish her thought. She sighed again, shaking her head.

"Please, let me help you."

Maura looked up into Jane's eyes and saw the pain that she had been causing her friend. She wanted to tell her everything, but she wasn't even sure that she, herself, knew what was going on.

"I don't know if you can."

"Just tell me what you've been dreaming about. Let me _try_."

Now it was Maura's turn to sigh.

"I was dreaming about Hoyt."

She watched for Jane's reaction, expecting the detective to cringe or pull away from her. Instead, Jane gave her knee a gentle squeeze and nodded at her to continue.

"I was dreaming about when we went to visit Hoyt at the prison. After learning that he had cancer. He said…" she paused, trying to decide how much to share, and how to say it.

"It's okay, Maura. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Maura tried to smile at her friend, but she knew it wasn't very convincing.

"He said that he was done playing with me. But… he let you go."

"He let me go? As in, just walk out? Leave?"  
Maura nodded.

"But," Jane continued quietly, "he didn't let you leave?"

Maura shook her head. Jane looked away for a moment, seeming to process the information, then looked back at the medical examiner to ask her another question.

"And the dream that you had two nights ago? Did I leave then, too?"

Maura didn't respond, but Jane understood the answer to her question.

"Maura, I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I didn't really leave you, remember? Those were just dreams."

The medical examiner sniffed, reaching for a tissue as she nodded, still not meeting the detective's gaze.

"Maybe… do you think you need to… talk to someone about these dreams? Someone professional?" Jane asked cautiously.

"No, Jane. It's like you said. They're just dreams."

Jane smiled gently.

"I know. But you shouldn't feel…I don't know…bad, I guess, if you need to talk to someone, okay? We've been through some terrible stuff. I just want to make sure you're good."

"Thank you, Jane."

"Sure," the detective smiled. "I know you can take care of yourself, but you're my best friend. I just… I just worry when I can tell something's wrong."

Maura smiled and stood up from the bed, pulling Jane with her.

"Stop worrying, and go eat some bunny pancakes. I'm fine."

"Fine is an adverb that means 'pleasing' or 'very well,'" Jane mocked with a grin. "You're very well?"

The medical examiner laughed as she remembered asking the same question of Jane when she injured her ankle.

"Just go, or I'll call your mother!" Maura playfully threatened, leading the detective out of her bedroom by the elbow.

"Ow! Hey, I'm going!"


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm not sure I completely understand what you're telling me, Miss Evanston. You said that your fiancée didn't show up for the rehearsal dinner, so you tried to call him but got no response. Why didn't you go to his hotel that night to speak with him, instead of waiting until the next morning?"

The young, dark-haired woman across the table from Detective Frost wiped her eyes and shook her head sadly.

"Bill had been having some… concerns about the wedding. Concerns about my family. I thought he had gotten cold feet and taken off. I didn't go to the hotel because I didn't think he would be there. It was Jason's idea to go talk with him in the morning, not mine."

On the other side of the two-way mirror, Korsak shook his head and looked over at Jane.

"It's hard to imagine any woman just letting their fiancée walk away without a fight the day before their wedding," he said.

Jane nodded her agreement.

"Maybe there _was_ a fight. Either way, there's something she isn't telling us. Maybe we'll have better luck with the cousin."

The detective made her way down the hall to another room and sat down across the table from 28 year old Jason Harris, the victim's cousin.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Jason," she said sincerely.

"Thank you," he mumbled, staring intently at his hands.

"Could you tell me again what happened two days ago? When you went to check on your cousin?"

He nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I, um… I talked to Lily after Bill didn't show up for the rehearsal dinner. I was pretty upset, you know, pretty mad at Billy for skipping town like that. I wanted to go to the hotel and really tear into him, you know?" he laughed sadly, his voice starting to shake.

"I never would've been so mad if I'd known… Well. So, I waited until the morning because Lily told me she didn't want me going over that night. When I got to the hotel, I knocked. I didn't hear anything so I tried the door and it was open. So, I went in."

The young man sniffed a few times and wiped at his eyes before continuing.

"That's when… that's when I found him. I saw him like that and I knew he was dead. Called the cops, and then I guess you know everything else."

Jane smiled encouragingly at him.

"Do you know of anyone who may have wanted to harm your cousin?"

He shook his head.

"No, Billy was a real standup guy, you know? He had a lot of friends. And, I mean, he's been living in Texas for years now because of his job."

"What was his job?"

"He is… uh, he was doing some kind of research on drug interactions I think. He did testing and stuff. Actually, he's the reason why I wanted to be a pharmacist. Listening to him going on all the time about how people are pouring all these toxins into themselves everyday without thinking about it. I felt like maybe I could help people or something."

He smiled sadly, then grabbed a tissue from a box on the table as he started to cry.

"Thank you for your help, Jason," Jane said with a gentle smile as she went back to speak with Korsak. Before she got a chance to say anything, she saw that she had a new text message coming in from Maura.

"Maura's got something in the lab. Let me know if you need me," she said to the older man as she headed back out the door.

* * *

"What is it, Maura?" Jane called as she entered the autopsy room.

The medical examiner looked up from her work and motioned for the detective to come over to her side of the table.

"Do you see these marks here, just above the victim's patella?" she asked, pointing to the victim's knee. "The railroad spike that we pulled from the victim's hand was driven down through the center metacarpals and into the patellofemoral joint, causing severe damage to the quadriceps femoris tendon and rendering the victim's knee essentially useless. This was done to both the left and right sides of the victim's body."

"Damn," Jane said, making a face, "He must have really known what he was doing."

"Not necessarily," Maura corrected, moving over to show the detective images from the fluoroscope. "If you look closely, you can see the distinct impression of the wedge-shaped tip of the railroad spike as it came to rest in three distinct locations in each of the victim's knees. Here, here, and here."

She pointed out the darkened areas on the images, waiting for the detective to piece together the information.

"So, they drove the spike into his knee three times?"

Maura nodded.

"The tissue damage here is consistent with what would be expected if the assailant had driven the spike into the joint, removed it, and then driven it back again, removed it again, and driven it in for a third and final time. This is most likely why it was so easy for me to remove the spike by hand at the scene."

Jane's forehead wrinkled as she tried to form a theory.

"Maybe the killer had to drive the spike in three times because he didn't sever the… femmo pelli tendon thingy the first time?"

"The tendon would have easily been damaged by any one of the three strike patterns. Accuracy wouldn't have been a problem here."

"So… maybe the killer just wanted to torture this guy for some reason?"

Maura nodded slightly, not fully committing to the theory but acknowledging its plausibility.

"The process would certainly have been excruciatingly painful if the victim was conscious."

The ME seemed to notice something as she suddenly leaned over the body and turned the victim's left wrist carefully to the side so that the palm was facing up.

"Do you see that?" she asked the detective, motioning to the underside of the wrist.

Jane leaned in for a look.

"Those two marks there? What is that?"

"They appear to be… two linear abrasions. Four millimeters in length and approximately one millimeter in width."

Jane's face lit up with excitement.

"Scratches? From the killer?"

"I'll have to run some tests… these marks don't appear consistent with human scratch marks. They're too small."

The detective sighed with disappointment.

"It's never that easy."

"No, it isn't," Maura replied with a smile.

"Well, do we have a cause of death yet?"

Maura shook her head, removing her gloves and heading towards her office.

"No, I'm waiting for the toxicology reports to come in. The railroad spikes don't seem to have been used for anything other than keeping the victim's hands at rest on top of his knees. They didn't cause lethal damage."

The detective reflexively reached down to massage the scars on her hands, reminded of the scalpels Hoyt used to put them there. Maura noticed the gesture and looked questioningly at her friend.

"Are you hands okay?"

Jane realized what she was doing and dropped her hands to her sides.

"Yeah, yeah. They're fine. The whole railspike thing, though… just reminds me of him."

Maura smiled sadly, then headed towards her office when she heard Jane's phone ringing.

Jane reached down to answer her phone, following Maura into her office.

"Rizzoli."

The medical examiner pretended not to listen in as Jane spoke with Detective Frost.

"I can go talk to him. Yeah, I'll leave now. Text me the address."

She hung up the phone, then spoke to Maura as she headed for the door.

"I need to go interview the fiancée's brother. I'll call you later."

"No, wait!" Maura exclaimed, grabbing her purse and following the detective. "I'll come with you."

Jane looked at her suspiciously.

"Um…why?"

Maura smiled and shrugged.

"Because I like watching you do your gumshoe thing. And because it's almost dinnertime, and I need to make sure you eat."

Jane rolled her eyes but still smiled and motioned to the door.

"Okay, _Ma_," she teased, "but I'm not eating anything green."

"We'll see," Maura replied with a grin. She knew she always got her way.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jane, I told you that there would be construction if you went left. You should have just gone straight and looped back around, as I suggested."

Jane glared at Maura as she stepped up onto the porch and rang the doorbell.

"Yes, well, maybe you should have told me that _before_ I was already in the left turn lane!" she argued.

Maura shrugged.

"I _did_ tell you, but you were too busy complaining about the music that I keep in my car."  
"Oh, well maybe if you-"

"Can I help you ladies?" a voice said from behind the front door, interrupting their bickering.

Jane smiled with an overcompensating amount of politeness at the young man.

"Peter Evanston?" she asked.

He nodded, and she responded by showing him her badge.

"Detective Rizzoli, Boston PD. This is Dr. Isles, Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. I just wanted to ask you a few questions about your brother-in-law, William Silver, if you have a minute."

The man smiled and held the door open, motioning for the two women to enter.

"Of course, please come inside."

Jane and Maura followed Peter along a short entrance hallway and into the living room, where they sat down on an old, but comfortable, loveseat. He sat down in an armchair facing them from across the room.

"So, how can I help, detective?" he asked.

Jane cleared her throat and pulled out a notepad and pen.

"We were just talking with your sister this morning, and had a few questions. She mentioned that Mr. Silver had been expressing some doubts about the wedding. She thought maybe he was having some problem with the family."

Peter nodded and scratched the back of his head absently as he searched for the right words.

"Billy was… well, he didn't really mesh well with our family. It wasn't that we didn't like him, because we _did_ like him, but he just came from a different background."

"How do you mean?"

"Our family is very close. We spend a lot of time together. Our Ma is always coming over, and even Lily and I barge into each other's places without warning a lot. That's just how we are."

"I know the feeling," Jane said with a knowing smile.

Peter smiled back.

"Yeah, but Billy thought it was weird. He would get mad when Lily would come over to my place all the time. I think he was jealous of the relationship that I have with my sister, you know? Not in, like, a creepy way. But I think just because he was so far away in Texas all the time, he kind of got jealous of our whole family because we got to spend time with Lil and he didn't."

"Uh, Jane…"

Jane held up a hand to shush the medical examiner.

"Hold on, Maura. Peter, is there anyone in your family, or outside of your family, even, that might have wanted to hurt Mr. Silver?"

"Jane…" the medical examiner tried again.

"Not now, Maura," Jane stage whispered.

Then she felt something rub up against her wrist.

"Hey- whoa!" she exclaimed with a jump, landing practically on top of Maura and clutching her friend's arm in a vice grip.

"I tried to warn you, Jane," Maura said, stifling a laugh as a snake began to make its way across the loveseat.

"Yeah, well, thanks for trying so hard!" the detective shot back, her voice a higher pitch than usual.

Jane looked over at Peter and pasted a smile on her face.

"I don't really… I don't really_ like_ snakes," she explained.

"This," said Maura, beaming, as she picked up the reptile, "is a python regius, commonly known as a ball python."

"Stop it, Maura! Put it down!" Jane whispered through gritted teeth, still fake smiling at Peter.

"But Jane, this is a beautiful specimen! The python regius is referred to as the ball python because of its attempt to curl itself into a ball when frightened. It's doing it right now, Jane, because it is more scared of you than you are of it."

Jane made a face and leaned as far away from the snake as she could without letting go of her death grip on Maura's bicep.

"Yeah, hey, I'm sorry about that," Peter said, taking the snake and setting it in a glass tank in another room.

"He's my roommate's. He has a couple other ones, too, but they're usually in their tanks. Except Felicity. He lets her roam about the house, but you'd definitely see her if she was in here."

Jane looked at Maura, then quickly stood up and headed for the front door.

"Thank you for all of your help, Mr. Evanston. Let me know if you think of anything else," she said as she handed him her card.

"Let's go, Maura," she growled at the medical examiner.

When they got to the car, Maura burst out laughing.

"_Really_?" Jane spat, before eventually starting to chuckle to herself.

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a bruise," Maura teased, pointing to the spot on her arm where Jane had grabbed her.

"Yeah, well, you deserved it."

Maura feigned shock.

"I did not! I tried to warn you, Jane, but you _shushed_ me."

Jane got a dreamy look in her eyes as she said,

"If only shushing you would work more often."

"Okay," Maura laughed, playfully hitting her friend in the arm, "now _you're_ going to have a bruise!"

"Ow! Hey, geeze! You're so violent!"

* * *

"Janie, are you staying for dinner?" Angela Rizzoli asked as Jane and Maura arrived at the medical examiner's house.

"Oh, no, Ma. We stopped to eat on the way here."

"Good, because I didn't make food for you."

Jane pretended to be hurt.

"Well, gee, thanks!" she said with a laugh, walking over to kiss her mother on the cheek.

"Even if I did make food for you, you always get home way too late to eat it," mama Rizzoli scolded.

"Yeah, Ma, I know. Maybe I should just quit my job and sit around the house all day waiting for you to feed me!"

"Oh, would you?" Angela asked, ignoring her daughter's sarcasm.

Jane laughed.

"Goodnight, Ma," she said, gently leading her mother towards the back door.

"Goodnight, girls!" Angela called as she made her way to Maura's guest house.

"Goodnight, Angela!"

After Mrs. Rizzoli had gone, Jane headed over to Maura's fridge and grabbed a beer.

"I still haven't determined the origin of the railroad spike, Jane," Maura said, taking the beer out of her hand, "which means that I don't yet owe you a beer."

"Hey!"

Jane snatched the bottle back, swatting at the medical examiner's hand to protect her prize. Maura laughed and shook her head, watching as Jane planted herself on the couch and turned on the television.

"I think I'm just going to stay up and watch a little TV before I head home," the detective explained. "You can go on up to bed, though. You look tired."

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Very subtle, Jane."

The detective feigned innocence.

"I know you're trying to keep an eye on me, but really, Jane. Everything is okay."

"Well, if everything is okay, then you just go on up to bed and I will sit right here and I won't bother you and you won't bother me. Right?"

Jane watched intently as her friend headed up to her room, still not convinced that Maura was fine. Her suspicions were confirmed a few minutes later when the medical examiner came back downstairs and sat next to her on the couch.

"I thought I'd come watch TV with you for a bit. I'm not tired yet," Maura said, trying to hide a yawn.

"Hives," Jane chastised, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over Maura's legs.

Within only a few minutes, Maura was fast asleep with her head resting on the detective's shoulder. Jane carefully reached down to grab the remote and turn off the TV, then slipped her arm around the medical examiner and scooted down in the couch to try to make herself a little more comfortable. She planted a soft kiss into Maura's blonde curls and then closed her eyes.

"Goodnight, Maura."


	6. Chapter 6

"_So, you're not a cop?" the inmate asked with a snarl, grabbing Maura by the collar and guiding her over into a corner of the holding cell._

"_I told you, I'm not. I'm the Chief Medical Exam-"_

_Maura's sentence was left unfinished as the inmate's fist connected with her zygomatic bone._

"_Get her away from the window, Gomez," one of the other inmates instructed, positioning herself between the medical examiner and the door to the cell._

_Maura felt herself being pulled across the room to another corner, where a second blow collided with her sternum and caused her to gasp for air._

"_You know we don't like cops in here," Gomez said as she leaned over the medical examiner's hunched form._

_Maura felt her heart race as she saw Gomez pull something sharp from inside her shirt. She closed her eyes-_

* * *

Maura awoke to find herself tucked under Jane's arm, still on the couch in her living room.

"Rizzoli," the detective whispered into her phone, thinking that Maura was still sleeping.

The medical examiner realized that her phone was also ringing, which must have been the cause of her well-timed awakening, so she picked it up and answered groggily.

"Dr. Isles."

Jane looked over when she realized that Maura was awake and gave her a warm smile, gently squeezing her shoulder and silently mouthing _Good morning. _Maura nodded and returned the smile.

"I'll be there soon," she said into her phone.

"I'll meet you there," the detective said in response to her own phone call.

"So, how did you sleep?" Jane asked, after they had both hung up their phones. "Nightmare free?"

Maura smiled.

"Yes, I slept very well last night," she said, ignoring the question about the nightmares. "You didn't need to stay all night, Jane. You couldn't possibly have been very comfortable."

The detective shrugged her shoulders.

"It wasn't too bad. I got almost a full night of sleep. That's good enough for me."

Maura reached out to take one of her friend's hands, searching for eye contact so that the detective would feel the sincerity of what she was about to say.

"Thank you, Jane. Really. I know I've been a burden on you these last few-"

"No, Maura, c'mon…" Jane interrupted with a shake of her head.

"Yes, I have been," the medical examiner insisted. "I just wanted to thank you for… making me feel cared for."

"You _are_ cared for, Maura. You are. Okay?" Jane followed up her question with a smile. "And I'm glad these nightmares seem to be over, because you really… I mean… _I've_ had nightmares before, but never anything like that."

Maura stood up from the couch, eager to change the subject.

"I guess we should probably get to work."

Jane followed, pretending not to notice Maura's attempt to so quickly divert her attention.

"Yeah, but we need to get some coffee on the way. And maybe stop for a massage," the detective joked, rubbing her neck with a pained expression.

Maura just watched her fondly for a moment, smiling to herself as she realized how lucky she was to have someone in her life as loyal as Jane. Someone willing to work a full day with a sore neck because they didn't want to disturb their sleeping friend.

The detective noticed the way Maura was looking at her and raised an eyebrow, eyeing the medical examiner with suspicion.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked carefully.

Maura took a step closer and looked up into the detective's eyes.

"You're a wonderful friend, Jane," she said sincerely.

Without stopping to think about it, she placed a hand on Jane's arm to steady herself and stretched up on her toes to deliver a quick kiss to the detective's cheek. As she lowered herself back down off of the tips of her toes, a thought occurred to her.

"Zygomatic bone," she whispered softly, reflexively reaching up to touch her own and remembering when she had been hit there, both in the past and in her dream.

As the medical examiner quickly left the room to go get changed, she was surprised to feel a heated sensation stretching across her cheeks and ears. If she had turned around, she would have seen the detective watching her in confusion, her own blushing equally apparent.

* * *

"Do we have an ID on the victim?" Jane asked her partner as she entered the crime scene with Maura.

Detective Frost nodded his head and began filling her in on the details as he led the two women over towards the body.

"Our victim's name is Christopher Jackson. Thirty-seven years old. His mother came to check on him this morning when he didn't pick her up at the airport. Says she let herself in with her spare key and found him like this."

As they turned a corner and entered the victim's living room, Jane immediately noticed the similarities between the scene she was looking at and the scene of William Silver's murder.

"Maura…"

"I'm checking his hands," the ME replied as she walked over to the body, not waiting for the detective to suggest it.

"Are they spikes again?"

Maura nodded, pulling a familiar looking object out of the victim's hand.

"This railroad spike appears to be reminiscent of the same era as the ones found at the Silver crime scene."

Jane shook her head and closed her eyes. This was not good. When she opened her eyes again, she began mentally cataloguing her surroundings. The position of the body, hands nailed (spiked) into his knees. Suit jacket draped over the side of the armchair that he was sitting in. It all seemed the same, until the detective noticed something that she was _sure_ she hadn't noticed at the previous crime scene.

"Hey, Maura, what's that slimy-looking stuff on the vic's shoe?"

The medical examiner pulled a cotton swab from her bag and took a sample, holding it up to her nose and then reaching into her bag for another swab. This time, she reached into the back of the victim's throat and took a sample. She held this up to her nose, too, then turned towards the detective.

"The victim experienced an emetic episode shortly before his death."

"So, that's vomit on his shoes?"

Maura nodded.

"Well, there's no way he would've been vomiting and only hit one little spot on his shoe, right? So, our killer must have cleaned it up."

Jane turned towards Frost.

"Frost, go check in the bathroom and see if there's-"

"Is this what you're looking for, Janie?" Frankie asked with a grin, walking into the room while holding up a small garbage bag filled with a smelly, viscous substance.

Frost gagged, glaring at Frankie as he walked swiftly out of the room. The younger Rizzoli chuckled as he watched Jane's partner leave.

"Good job, Frankie. Maura, do you think there might be something in there that could give us cause of death?"

The medical examiner stood up from where she had been kneeling next to the victim and made her way over towards the two Rizzolis.

"It's possible. I examined the stomach contents of our previous victim, but considering the emetic response of this victim, perhaps I wasn't looking in the right places. I'll have to run some more tests."

"Great. Do we have a time of death?"

"Based on the stage of rigor and the liver temperature, I'd say the victim has been dead for between three and four hours. And Jane?"

Jane looked at the medical examiner expectantly.

"There is something else that I want to show you."

She motioned for the detective to follow her over to the body, where she lifted up the hand from which she had removed the railroad spike.

"Do you see it?" she asked.

Jane got down closer to the body for a better look, then pointed.

"Those two scratches, there. Just like the ones from the other victim."

Maura nodded.

"These are in a slightly higher position up the victim's arm, closer to the elbow."

Jane squinted at the scratches.

"You said they're too small to be from human fingernails. Maybe it's a signature of some kind?"

"I have no idea what might have caused these scratches, Jane. I've been running tests on the scratches found on our last victim, but it's very difficult without being able to narrow down the possibilities."

Jane noticed the medical examiner's voice sounding strained, almost frustrated at the thought that she wouldn't be able to identify the source of the scratches.

"Hey," she whispered, gently placing a hand on Maura's elbow, "I know you're doing everything you can. Don't beat yourself up over it, okay? We'll figure out who did this."

Maura didn't even hear what the Jane said. For some reason, the detective's hand had caused that warm sensation in her cheeks again, and she tried to look away before anyone noticed. Too late.

"Wait… Maura…" Jane leaned around to get a better look at her friend's face as she tried to hide it, "are you blushing?"

The medical examiner's usual composure was gone. She didn't know how to answer the question, so she stayed silent.

"Maura, you don't need to be embarrassed. We all know how hard you work, and it isn't your fault that we haven't been able to tell you what to look for. C'mon, this isn't like you."

Wait, Jane had a point. Maybe the blushing was just a natural reaction to her embarrassment over being unable to provide the usually timely and revealing lab results that she had become accustomed to. That had to be it. She chuckled at the thought that she was blushing because of Jane-

"Earth to Maura?" Jane said, waving a hand in front of the medical examiner's face and smirking to herself.

"Oh… what? Sorry, Jane. You know, I think you're right. I'm doing my job exceedingly well, given what I have to work with. _You're_ the one who needs to step up to their fate, detective," she teased.

Jane gasped in mock offence.

"Okay, first of all, it's step up to the _plate_. And second, I've been doing my _gumshoe thing_ just fine, thank you very much!" she laughed, giving the ME a playful nudge.

Maura grinned back at her, trying to ignore the familiar warm feeling creeping back into her cheeks at the detective's touch.


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Maura Isles was not unfamiliar with the physiology of blushing. She had experienced the unpleasant feeling of embarrassment on numerous occasions. She was not, however, accustomed to feeling her cheeks become subjectively warm at even the slightest touch from her best friend. Of course, the medical examiner was also acutely aware of the timing of this new sensation falling right in line with her recently experienced nightmares, in which Jane also seemed to play a rather significant role.

"Research does indicate that personal and romantic attraction can be learned and changed over time, based on one's relational experience," she mumbled to herself as she tried, unsuccessfully, to concentrate on the body that she was examining.

"Oh, so _that's_ why you love working on dead bodies so much? I always thought it was the pleasing aroma!" Detective Rizzoli joked, entering the room with a playful grin.

Maura jumped in surprise, not realizing that there was anyone else in the autopsy room at the time.

"Very funny, Jane," she retorted without looking up from her work.

Jane continued laughing at her own joke, while watching and waiting for the ME to fill her in on her latest findings. When Maura didn't immediately begin speaking, the detective crossed her arms and stared intently at her friend, willing her to look up from the body and pay her some attention.

"Later that same day…" Jane prodded, grinning when she got a glance of mild aggravation from the medical examiner.

"You know, you really don't have any patience, do you?"

Jane pretended to think about it for a moment.

"No," she declared, "I don't. So… what have you got?"

Maura rolled her eyes, smiling in spite of her best efforts to be irritated.

"Well, I think I may finally have a cause of death. For both victims."

"Maura, that's great! What is it?"

"My findings indicate that both victims suffered from hypoxia due to a combination of brachycardia and respiratory muscle paralysis. The extent of the oxygen deprivation would have led to an eventual coma, and then, ultimately, death."

The detective looked confused.

"That doesn't make any sense. Both our vics were young, healthy males. Why would their bodies just shut down like that? They died of fright?"

"They wouldn't, Jane. I missed it before, but the emetic reaction of the second victim made it far more apparent. There are a number of neurotoxins that can cause reactions like this. It's still a lot of chemicals to compare the results to, but it's certainly more than I had before."

"Good," Jane smiled, "because we're still coming up short on our list of suspects. You know, it's like these guys have never said a bad word to anyone in their whole lives. It's weird. No one's that clean. Gonna have to just make a list and start checking people off, I guess."  
Maura's ears perked up at the suggestion.

"A checklist. That's a great idea! A systematic, objective approach."

Jane couldn't help feeling that Maura wasn't talking about the case anymore, but she went along with her friend's enthusiasm anyway.

"Uh… thanks, Maura."

Maura wasn't listening. She was too busy pulling out a pen and notepad, scribbling furiously while mumbling to herself.

"Norepinephrine and dopamine levels in the bloodstream, palmar hyperhidrosis during physical contact, elevated pulse, pupil dilation and behavioral imitation…"

Jane chuckled, impressed, as always, with the medical examiner's ability to rattle off lists of things that the detective never seemed to understand. She knew Maura wouldn't notice if she left the room while she was busy, but Jane always liked to say goodbye, so she walked over to the ME and placed a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. If she didn't know better, she almost thought it felt like Maura tensed at her touch.

"Hey, I'm just going to head on out. You look pretty into something there, and Frost and I have some more interviews to do anyway. Call you later?"

Maura nodded, not looking up from what she was writing. She waited until the detective was out the door before pulling a needle from one of her drawers and taking a sample of her own blood. After sealing the vial, she patiently took her pulse, jotting down the results next to the list she had been writing. Finally, she grabbed a cotton swab and wiped it gently across the palm of her left hand.

Jane Rizzoli watched, undetected, from the other side of the glass doors as Maura took various measurements of her own health. She felt the blood drain from her face at the thought that her friend might be experiencing a serious medical issue, but she also couldn't help feeling hurt that Maura apparently wasn't comfortable sharing the problem with her. As she turned to head for the elevator, she could've sworn she heard her name. She shook it off, figuring it was just her imagination. It wasn't.

"Let's find out for sure, Jane," the medical examiner had said to herself, "whether or not I'm attracted to you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks everyone for checking out my first fic! I hope you're all enjoying reading it as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Please feel free to leave me some reviews to let me know what (if anything!) I'm doing right/wrong. I'd love to hear your feedback, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

"_You look absolutely stunning, Maura. I promise to do your beauty justice," Dennis assured the medical examiner as he layered plaster over her freckled skin._

"_Dennis, please don't," she pleaded, trying to slip free from the plastic ties that bound her hands and feet._

_He smiled gently at her, pausing from his work to caress the side of her face._

"_You know, you are just so desperate for love that you're willing to overlook anything," he mocked with a sneer. "So lonely that you'd date a serial killer just to have a companion."_

_Maura lowered her head, willing herself not to cry._

"_I didn't know it was you," she said in a weak attempt to defend herself._

_He laughed._

"_Of course you did! You knew, Maura," he said, taking a step forward so that his face was only inches from her own. "You knew, but you didn't care. I'm the best you can do, aren't I?"_

"_Maura?"_

_The medical examiner heard Jane's voice calling out desperately for her as she saw Dennis reaching down to pull out a knife. He pulled Maura's body up against his own and held the blade tight against her neck. She held her breath, waiting for him to slice open her throat. But he didn't._

_Jane moved into the room, gun drawn, and Maura saw her eyes widen with panic at the sight of her friend's perilous situation. She threw up her hands, placed her gun on the floor and took a step towards them._

"_Stay back, Jane!" Dennis ordered, pulling Maura even tighter against himself._

"_Just let her go, Dennis," Jane quietly begged, "That's all I want from you."_

"_And you'll let me go free?" he asked the detective._

"_Yes," Jane said with a nod._

_He took a few slow steps towards Jane, Maura still tightly within his grip, then released her into Jane's outstretched arms. She was only relieved for a second, until she saw something moving out of the corner of her vision and felt Jane's body being pulled away from her. She watched helplessly as Dennis plunged the knife into Jane's neck and then into her chest, then he took off with a grin directed at the ME._

_Maura rushed to Jane's side, holding her head as blood poured out of her wounds._

"_Jane?" Maura whispered softly._

_But she was already dead._

* * *

When Maura awoke from her nightmare, she was alone. Her face was soaked with tears and her shoulders were heaving from the erratic breathing pattern that had developed throughout the course of her nightmare. She could only assume that she had been screaming, but there was really no way for her to know.

The previous night, instead of heading back to her home after work, she had taken a drive north and booked a room in a roadside motel, taking care to warn the owner of her tendency to experience terrifying nightmares so that he wouldn't be concerned if he heard her screaming during the night. Maura felt terribly guilty about disturbing the sleeping patterns of both Jane and Angela as a result of her recent dreams, and she decided that she would give them both a night of peaceful rest without the chance of being awakened by her loud vocal performances.

Now, she regretted it. She desperately wished that Jane was there with her. This dream had been so much worse than the others. Watching Jane die in her dream had been the most terrifying and heartbreaking experience of her life, and she wanted nothing more than to just be able to touch the detective and know that she was still alive. For a moment, she considered calling her friend just to hear the sound of her voice, but remembered that she had turned her phone off to conserve the battery life, as she hadn't thought to bring her charger to the motel with her.

The medical examiner showered and dressed, thoroughly displeased with her appearance but unwilling to stop at her home to take a second shower, then made her way to work. When she pulled into the parking lot, she turned her phone on and immediately began to receive numerous text messages and missed calls. All from Jane.

* * *

"She's an adult, Jane. I'm sure she's perfectly fine," Frost said in an attempt to reassure the pacing detective.

Jane wasn't convinced. Watching Maura run tests on herself the day before had really shaken her up, and when the medical examiner failed to return home last night, Jane had nearly flown into a panic.

"Well, she never just disappears like this! What if something happened? Why isn't she returning my calls?" she yelled angrily, immediately feeling guilty for turning her frustration and worry against her friend.

"I'm sorry, Frost. I'm just worried."

Jane was looking at her partner when she saw his eyes dart towards the elevators and his shoulders sag in relief. She turned around in time to see Dr. Isles boarding the elevator to go down to her office. The detective's worry immediately turned to anger as she stormed out of the office.

"What the _hell_, Maura!" she growled, following the ME into the elevator.

Maura's face instantly paled.

"Jane, I-"

"You _what_, Maura? You couldn't find time in your busy schedule to call me back? Tell me that you're not dead on the side of the road somewhere? I've been up all night worried about you, and you just come _strolling_ in to work like nothing's wrong?"

The medical examiner stayed silent. She had seen Jane angry before, maybe even seen Jane _this_ angry before, but it had certainly never been targeted at her. On one hand, she was relieved to see the detective alive and well after the nightmare that she had, but her relief was turning into dread as she realized the terrible mistake that she had made.

"I'm so sorry, Jane. I didn't know anyone would realize I was gone," Maura stammered.

Jane laughed condescendingly, throwing up her hands in disbelief.

"You didn't think anyone would _notice_? You live with _my mother_, Maura! She notices _everything_! Where the hell were you?"

This was not how Maura had imagined this day going. She had expected to walk into work to find Jane well-rested and ready to get back to work on their case. She had expected to continue her newly formed experiment of attraction without Jane being aware that anything had changed between them. She had not expected Jane to directly ask her where she had been, and she wasn't sure she was prepared to answer truthfully.

"I was in a motel," Maura answered shortly.

Jane's face crinkled up in disgust.

"Are you _kidding_ me?" she sneered. "No, really, I want to get this straight. I was worried that you were _dead_, and you were off shacking up with some rodeo clown at a cheap, roach-infested motel? God, I thought your standards couldn't possibly get any lower."

Now it was Maura's turn to be angry.

"I'm an adult, Jane! I can choose where and with whom I spend my nights, and I shouldn't have to answer to you!"

The detective seemed surprised at Maura's outburst, and opened her mouth to respond, but was silenced when Maura continued speaking. This time, a bit more calmly.

"Last night I _chose_ to spend the night _alone_ in a disgusting motel because I was afraid of waking up Angela again with another nightmare."

When she heard this, Jane's face began to soften. She was still angry, but now her concern for the medical examiner was resurfacing at the mention of the nightmares.

"I thought those were done?" she asked, the question sounding a bit more accusatory than she intended.

"I may have… misled you," Maura admitted.

"You _lied_ to me?" Jane asked, incredulous.

"No, I simply withheld information. I don't get hives from withholding information," the medical examiner explained quietly. She was relieved when Jane cracked a smile.

"You found a loophole," the detective laughed, concern still evident on her face.

Maura smiled back cautiously.

"You shouldn't have lied… or withheld information or whatever it is that you did. You should have just told me the truth, Maura. You can always tell me the truth."

"I'm sorry I worried you, Jane. I was trying to _keep_ you from worrying."

Jane shook her head, leaning against the side of the elevator and crossing her arms.

"Well, you definitely didn't do that," she chuckled, then sobered. "But you and I are going to have a serious discussion about these nightmares. And… anything else that you've been… withholding from me. Understand?"

_She knows,_ Maura thought in a panic.

"I understand, Jane. And I'm sorry."

Jane smiled at her.

"I guess I forgive you. And I guess I'm sorry, too."

Maura smiled back.

"Then I guess I forgive you, too."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all of the kind comments and support so far! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! As always, reviews are much appreciated- enjoy the next chapter!**

* * *

"Hey, Jane… I think you'd better come look at this," Frost called from behind his desk.

The tall brunette jogged over and leaned down to look at his computer screen.

"What have you got?" she asked.

"I was doing some searches to see if there was any kind of connection between our vics. I found something pretty interesting," he replied, clicking on an image link.

The picture that popped up was a senior prom photo from over a decade ago. Jane's eyes widened in recognition.

"Is that…?"

Frost nodded.

"Senior prom queen Lily Evanston and her date, Christopher Jackson. Our second victim."

Jane shook her head.

"I knew she was hiding something. Let's go."

Before the detective had reached the door, Korsak entered the office and held up a hand to stop her.

"You've got a visitor, Frost. It's the fiancée of our first vic."

Jane tilted her head in confusion.

"She's… she's here? Downstairs?"

The sergeant nodded.

"She just came in this morning and said she needed to speak with Detective Frost. Said she has something important to tell you."

Jane turned around to look at her partner, who appeared to be just as bewildered as she was. He shrugged his shoulders and headed for the elevators.

"I guess I'd better go talk to her, then," he said.

"Well, I'm coming, too," Jane replied as she followed, holding the elevator door for Korsak so he could join in on the fun.

The three made their way down to one of the interrogation rooms, then split up as Jane and Frost went in to speak with Lily, and Korsak stayed back to observe from outside the room.

"Good morning, Miss Evanston," Frost said as he sat down across from the young woman. "I'm told you have something you'd like to say?"

She nodded, her eyes wide with fear.

"Is it true? About CJ? I heard he was…"

Frost looked up at Jane, then turned back to Lily and nodded.

"Christopher Jackson. You knew him?"

"Yeah, that's him. CJ. We dated back in high school. When I heard… I had to come tell you."

"Tell me what?"

She took a deep breath, then leaned in closer and spoke quietly.

"I think it was my stalker. The one that did it."

Now she had the attention of both detectives.

"You have a stalker?" Jane asked from where she was standing behind Frost.

"Well, not exactly. Not anymore. But I did have one. He used to send me flowers when I would go on dates. He always knew, and he always sent me flowers. And instead of a card, there would just be a picture of me with my date. It was so creepy."

"Did you report it?" Frost asked her, taking notes.

She shook her head.

"I didn't think there would be anything the police could do. I had no idea who was doing it. After a while it stopped, which is why I didn't think any more of it. Not even when Willy…" she paused at the thought of her fiance, then took a breath and continued, "...but last night I got this."

She reached into her purse and pulled out a single black rose with a picture attached by a ribbon. It was the same picture that Frost had shown Jane that morning, of Lily and CJ.

"Can we get an evidence bag in here, please?" Jane asked.

When an officer entered the room with the bag, she carefully picked up the rose and placed it inside.

"I'm taking this to the lab. Maybe we can get some prints," she said as she headed out the door.

* * *

When Jane entered the autopsy room, Maura discreetly picked up her phone and turned on the camera so that it was videotaping. She casually walked over and set the phone on a counter, making sure that it was facing the room so that it would capture her interaction with Jane. Fortunately, Jane was still feeling slightly awkward about their argument that morning, so she wasn't paying close enough attention to what Maura was doing.

"Hey, do you think you could get any prints off of this?" Jane asked, holding up her evidence bag.

Maura squinted at it, taking it in her gloved hands and pulling the flower out.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Well, Maura," the detective began with a grin, "that is called a _flower_."

"I obviously know _what_ it is, Jane," Maura replied pointedly, "but where did it come from?"

"That man in the photograph there is our second vic. And the woman is the fiancée of our first vic."

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently the two of them dated back in high school. Anyway, the short story is that Lily used to have a stalker, and we'd like to have a few words with whoever that may be. So, I was hoping you could pull some prints from it."

The medical examiner looked at Jane questioningly.

"You don't need _me_ to look for prints. You could have just done that yourself. Why did you bring it down here?"

Jane was caught off guard by the question. To be honest, she hadn't even considered doing it herself. Her first thought had been, _Oh, let me run this up to Maura_.

"Because I love hearing you talk about the… scientifically tested methods of…" She chuckled, not bothering to finish the lie.

"I don't know, Maura. I'm so tired, I'm surprised I didn't try to give it to Ma in the café."

Maura laughed for a moment, too, but she still felt guilty for making Jane worry about her all night.

"I really am sorry, Jane," she said quietly.

She knew Jane would use the opportunity to make her talk, but she was ready. Sort of.

"You ready to tell me what's really going on?" the detective asked gently.

Maura sighed, fighting the urge to cry, which had become an all-too-familiar feeling recently.

"Let me make it a little easier for you," Jane suggested after a few seconds. "I saw you doing a blood test yesterday. That's why I was so worried about you. I thought… I thought you were sick… or something… and maybe you needed my help and I didn't know where you were."

_So, she _doesn't_ know?_ Maura thought.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Jane. Yes, I've been doing some preliminary testing, but so far, I don't have enough data to make any conclusive observations. I don't want you to worry about me. I can take care of myself."

Jane shook her head sadly, then reached out to take Maura's hand.

"When are you going to realize that you don't _have_ to take care of yourself? I'm _going_ to worry about you because you're my best friend. When I see you hurting, I worry. When I see you keeping secrets from me, I worry. Because I care about you, Maura. I know that you _can_ take care of yourself, okay? I know that. But you don't have to do it alone."

The medical examiner refused to look up at Jane, not wanting her friend to see her blushing or the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

"I promise, Jane, that when I have my results, you'll be the first person I tell."

"Just come here," the detective replied, pulling her into a hug.

Maura closed her eyes, relaxing into Jane's form. When she felt the detective's hand in the curls on the back of her head, a place where it had come to rest innocently numerous times before throughout the course of their friendship, she became immediately embarrassed at the thrilling sensation that it gave her. An almost imperceptible gasp escaped her throat that she hoped Jane wouldn't notice, but, as had been her good fortune over the last few days, Jane did notice. The detective pulled back and looked at her with concern.

"Are you okay? Are you having trouble breathing?" she asked the ME, holding her by the elbows and looking her up and down. "Your cheeks look a little flushed. Is that bad?"

"I'm fine," Maura asserted, "but I could actually use your help with something, now that you know about my testing."

Jane nodded carefully.

"What do you need me to do?"

Maura reached over and grabbed her phone, discreetly turning off the video recording and placing it back on the regular shutter.

"Part of my testing requires me to examine my pupil dilation, but it's difficult to look at my own eyes in the mirror with any real accuracy. Could you take a picture of my eyes, please? I'll just look straight ahead, at you, and you just snap the picture."

A flicker of confusion crossed Jane's face, but she brushed it off quickly and raised the phone up to take the picture.

"Tell me when you're ready."

"You can take it now, Jane," Maura whispered, focusing her gaze guiltily on her best friend's lips and reflexively running a tongue across her own. When she realized it, she felt herself start blushing again, but Jane was too busy checking her photography skills to notice this time.

When Jane handed Maura her phone back, the ME practically ran out of the room.

"I'll just… go try to get those fingerprints for you!" she called over her shoulder.

Jane crossed her arms and watched Maura leave, a sad, tired smile sneaking its way across her face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Got another chapter ready! I'm having a lot of fun writing this story, so I hope you are all enjoying it as much as I am! Thank you so much for all of the kind reviews and comments. They've really put a smile on my face! As always, any feedback and reviews that you guys have for me are very much appreciated! Enjoy =)**

* * *

Maura just stared at the results displayed in front of her.

That was all she could do.

Just stare.

She knew even before she had begun her testing that this was what she was going to find. She knew because it wasn't the first time that she had found herself truly attracted to someone. It wasn't the first time that she had enjoyed the physicality of another human being. It wasn't even the first time that she had been in love with another human being.

But this was Jane. Jane was different. And Maura's test results indicated very clearly that Maura was physically attracted to her best friend. The emotional attraction was tricky. There was no _real_ way to scientifically test feelings of love and affection. But Maura knew. She knew.

Up until this point, it had been relatively easy to discredit her fear and her nervousness. _Until those test results come in, nothing has changed_, she had told herself for the past few days. Of course she knew that wasn't entirely true, but it had kept her from dealing with the inevitable for just a little while longer. But now the results were in, and she was going to have to deal with them.

Elevated levels of norepinephrine and dopamine in the bloodstream. Palmar hyperhidrosis any time Jane so much as _looked_ at her, let alone touched her. Elevated pulse. Pupil dilation. Behavioral mimicry of Jane's subtle movements and facial expressions. It was all there. Classic indicators of attraction. There was no room for denial.

She had even gone so far as to go back through the pictures and the memories that she had from time spent with her previous romantic partners. She had looked for the behavioral mimicry. For the pupil dilation. She had remembered the sweaty palms and the pounding heart. All of those signs were present when she had been with them, but they were nothing compared to the intensity of what she experienced with Jane.

_That might mean that you have to tell her,_ she kept thinking.

"But how could I ever tell her?" she whispered, so softly that she wasn't entirely sure whether or not she had spoken out loud.

_Not yet._

She couldn't tell her.

_Not yet._

* * *

"We've got a match on those fingerprints, Jane!" Frost called to his partner as she strolled towards her desk with a cup of coffee in hand.

She smiled at the good news.

"Finally," she sighed, walking over to take a look.

She glanced up from Frost's computer to see Maura walk into the room, looking uncharacteristically preoccupied.

"Are you okay?" Jane whispered to the medical examiner as she took a spot standing next to her.

Maura tried her hardest to paste a smile on her face, but she knew Jane wasn't buying it. The detective simply knew her too well. Jane instinctively reached out and placed her hand on Maura's back, gently running her hand up and down in what was meant to be a comforting gesture. She didn't realize that her touch was sending intoxicating shivers up Maura's spine.

"We'll talk later," she whispered to Maura with a gentle smile as Frost began to speak.

"Looks like those prints belong to Adam Neumann, 34 year old Boston native," her partner reported.

At this news, Maura's brow creased in concentration. She took the opportunity to discreetly step away from Jane before she embarrassed herself over the physical contact.

"Adam Neumann… Is his father Peter Neumann?" she asked thoughtfully.

Frost began typing something, then looked up at the ME with a surprised expression.

"Yeah. Do you know him, Dr. Isles?"

She shook her head.

"No, I don't know either of them. But I do know that Peter Neumann is the founder of a new historical society over by Fenway. I remember reading an article about the grand opening exhibit, dedicated to Peter's grandfather who…"

Maura paused for a moment, a thought dawning on her.

"What is it, Maura?" Jane asked, concerned.

"Jane, Peter Neumann's grandfather was an iron worker. Part of the exhibit was supposed to showcase his work on local railroads in the early nineteen hundreds."

Jane turned to look at Frost, who was intently typing something into the computer.

"She's right, Jane. I've pulled up the article. The exhibit includes 'authentic iron pieces generously donated by the Neumann family.'"

Jane shook her head.

"Well, that's one way to get ahold of some old railroad spikes, wouldn't you say?"

Frost nodded.

"Let's bring him in."

* * *

Jane carefully arranged a handful of photographs in front of Adam Neumann on the table in the interrogation room.

"Does this look familiar to you?" she asked him, pointing to a picture of the flower that Lily Evanston had brought in that morning.

He shook his head.

"No, ma'am," he said, his voice shaky.

Jane turned around to look at her partner, leaning up against the wall by the door. She gave him a slight nod and he made his way over towards the table.

"We know all about your obsession with Lily, so you'd better just cut the act right now. You're currently a suspect in _two_ murders. And right now, it's looking an awful lot like you did it."

Adam's face paled and he shook his head, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"I didn't kill anybody!" he exclaimed. "And I didn't send Lily that flower, either! I haven't sent her flowers in _years_!"

Jane leaned over the table so that she could fix him with her icy stare.

"Your fingerprints were found on the picture of Lily and CJ."

"What? No, no! I didn't… that's not mine! I didn't send that to her!"

"Then how did _your_ fingerprints get on that picture?" Frost asked.

Adam was silent for a few seconds, his mind racing.

"I don't… I don't know. I don't how they got there, but I _didn't_ send that flower and I _didn't_ kill anyone."

"Adam," Jane began calmly, "I heard that your father recently started a local historical society."

He nodded silently.

"And I also heard that your opening exhibit was showcasing some of the iron work that your great-grandfather did back in the early nineteen hundreds. On the railroads, if I'm not mistaken."

He nodded again, growing skeptical.

"Yes. What does that have to do with any of this?" he asked quietly.

Frost slammed down a picture taken from the first crime scene. It was a picture of William Silver's hand with a railroad spike driven down into it. Adam took one look at it and gagged.

"Our two victims had _railroad spikes_ driven down through their hands! Now, how do you think that makes you look to us?" Frost accused.

"Oh God," Adam mumbled, resting his head in his hands.

"You know what I think?" Frost continued. "I think you saw that Lily was supposed to be getting married, and you got jealous. So, you decided to kill her fiancée and her ex-boyfriend. Then you sent her a flower as a reminder that you were watching her, just like you always used to do back in high school."

"No, no! I didn't even know she was engaged! I haven't thought about her in _years_, man! And I never sent her black roses. They were always _tulips_. They were her favorites. I didn't kill _anyone_."

Jane turned around to speak to Frost.

"See what you can do about getting a warrant to do a little poking around at Mr. Neumann's house. Historical society, too."

Frost nodded and walked out of the room.

"I want a lawyer," Adam said softly, avoiding eye contact with the detective.

Jane smirked.

"Good call. You're going to need one."


	11. Chapter 11

"_Jane."_

_The brunette is standing with her back to Maura, refusing to turn around._

"_Jane, please. Please just look at me."_

"_No, Maura."_

_Maura reaches out her hand and places it on Jane's shoulder, and the detective turns slowly to face her._

"_Jane."_

_The detective's face contorts into a look of pure hatred and disgust, causing Maura to shrink back._

"_Don't touch me."_

_Maura doesn't know what to say. What to do._

"_I'm sorry, Jane. I can't help how I feel about you. It's a physiological reaction to-"_

"_No!" Jane snaps. "Just stay away from me, Maura. Just… just get away from me."_

* * *

Maura opened her eyes slowly, feeling something entirely different than what she had experienced from her other nightmares. This wasn't the fear that she had experienced from watching Jane abandon her and leave her to die. This wasn't the terror of watching Jane murdered right in front of her.

This was emptiness. This was heartbreak. This was, strangely, almost worse than the others. Because it wasn't something that had already happened. It wasn't a distorted memory that had invaded her dream. It wasn't as if she could simply reassure herself that the memory hadn't happened that way. That, in reality, things had turned out okay. Because this time, she wasn't even sure that things _would_ turn out okay.

"I'm in love with Jane," Maura whispered to her empty bedroom.

She knew that things would be different between them, whether or not she told Jane what her results indicated about her attraction. Maura also knew that Jane would not simply forget about all of the testing that she had been doing. She would, eventually, have to tell her _something. _But she was desperately afraid that if she told Jane the truth, about everything, she would lose her. Forever.

"Maura?" Jane asked softly from outside her bedroom door. "Are you awake?"

For a brief moment, the medical examiner considered pretending to be asleep. To avoid speaking with Jane for as long as possible so that she wouldn't have to face the possibility of being asked a question that she was unprepared to answer.

"I'm awake," she heard herself say.

The detective pushed open the door and smiled at her, walking in and handing her a cup of tea before taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"Glad to see you slept in your own bed last night," Jane teased her with a playful grin.

Maura smiled up at her, quickly taking a sip of her tea so that the detective wouldn't have time to notice how fake the smile actually was.

"So, how did you sleep?"

"I slept quite well, Jane," she responded softly.

"Nightmares?"

Maura shrugged.

"They're manageable. Not like before." It wasn't exactly a lie. This dream _was_ different than the others, and it certainly wasn't one that she had any interest in describing to Jane.

"Did you have another one?"

The concern was evident on Jane's face, so Maura shook her head decisively.

"Everyone has nightmares, Jane. Mine have just been unusually disruptive for the past few days," she explained. "Last night I had a nightmare. But there was no screaming, no crying. I'd say this is a victory."

Jane smiled at her and reached out to squeeze her hand.

"Okay, Maura. It's a victory."

The medical examiner sipped her tea, aware that Jane was studying her facial expression for anything that she was trying to hide.

"So, you seemed a little distracted yesterday."

There it was. Maura knew it was coming eventually.

"Is everything alright? Did you… did you finish your testing?"

Maura nodded slowly, trying to decide how she could answer the question without lying. She wasn't ready for the truth. _Not yet._

"I've finished the testing. I've been interpreting the results."

The detective shook her head. She wasn't buying it.

"You're avoiding the question, Maura. I know you. If you have the results, you already know _exactly_ how to interpret them. What aren't you telling me?"

Maura sighed. She knew Jane wouldn't let her leave until she told her at least part of the truth. So that's what she would do.

"I can't tell you, Jane. Not yet. I'm sorry. I don't want you to worry, but I just can't tell you yet."

She felt horrible guilt for the expression that crossed Jane's face. It wasn't one that she was used to seeing on Detective Jane Rizzoli. It was fear.

"Maura," the detective whispered. "I just need to know if you're okay. Can you just… can you tell me that?"

"Yes, Jane. I'm okay."

"Then why are you keeping this from me?"

Maura looked sadly up at her friend.

"I'm sorry, Jane, I just can't. I can't tell anyone yet. I don't even want to tell myself. I wish I could've lied to you and just told you that I haven't completed the testing yet, but you know that I can't. I don't want you to worry, but I can't, Jane. I can't."

When she saw the first tear sliding down Jane's cheek, it didn't really register that the detective was actually crying. For a moment, Maura actually reached up to her own face to wipe it away, assuming that _she_ was the one who was crying. But it was Jane.

Without a second thought, Maura reached out and pulled Jane into her arms, her own eyes beginning to well up with tears as she just held her best friend. Her best friend, whom she was indisputably in love with. Her best friend, whose tears were _her_ doing. Her best friend.

She couldn't lose her.

Jane wrapped her arms around Maura's back and pulled her tightly into the embrace, burying her face in Maura's hair as she let the tears fall silently.

"I just love you so much, Maura," Jane whispered, her voice breaking. "Please, I just... I just want you to be okay."

Maura's heart fluttered, even knowing that Jane didn't mean she was _in love_ with Maura. She wanted so badly to explain to Jane that her health wasn't in jeopardy. She wanted so badly to release Jane from the worry and pain that she was experiencing on her behalf, but there was no way to do it without telling Jane what the results of her testing had been. She couldn't do that. She couldn't risk losing her. _Not yet._

"I'm okay, Jane. I'm okay."

But Maura knew that Jane wouldn't stop worrying until she told her the truth. Until Jane _knew_ that Maura was okay.

_You have to tell her. Soon._

"Soon," Maura whispered softly as the first tear slid down her face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you thank you thank you for reading! I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Can't wait to get to work on the next couple of chapters so that I can get them out to you! Very excited for what's coming up =) As always, I LOVE getting your reviews, so please be sure to let me know if you're loving (or hating) the story! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Is everything alright, Jane?" Korsak asked quietly as they searched through the unorganized mess of Adam Neumann's house.

"Yeah, Korsak. I'm fine. Thanks."

She gave him her best impression of a smile, but it wasn't very convincing.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"Got something on my mind, but it's nothing I want you to worry about."

Korsak gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder.

"You know where to find me," he said with a nod.

_Maura's sick._

She couldn't wrap her head around it. It was invading every thought, every action, every perception. Maura kept telling her that she was fine, but if that was the case, then why wouldn't she just tell Jane the results of her tests? Jane knew that Maura was hiding something to protect her, and she couldn't bear the thought that her friend might be battling some serious illness on her own.

_Maura_.

"Jane?" Frankie asked from across the room.

It was enough to snap her attention back to the current situation, at least for the moment.

"What have you got, Frankie?"

"I think I found some more of those spiky things," he said, holding one up in a gloved hand. "Found it in this backpack. There's some other stuff in here, too."

_Maura would know if it's the same type of spike._

Frost took the railroad spike from Frankie's hand and passed it over to Jane, who turned it over carefully in her palm.

"Yeah, it looks like the other ones did. Good work, Frankie. What else is in that bag?"

Frost reached into the backpack and raised his eyebrows in surprise at what he pulled out next.

"Got some hypodermic needles in here, Jane."

Jane's attention quickly moved to what he had in his hand.

"Are they empty?" she asked.

"Yeah, but there's some kind of medicine or something in these bottles," Frankie replied, pulling out a handful of what looked to be prescriptions.

_Maura could tell us what those are._

_Maura's sick._

_What if she's dying?_

"Janie? Are you okay?"

"What? Yeah… yeah, just thinking we need to get those over to Maura so she can check them against the tox panels."

Frankie nodded, still looking suspiciously at his older sister. Something was off, but he knew better than to press the issue.

"This is Detective Frost," Jane's partner said in response to an incoming phone call. "Send them over to the lab. We'll need to verify that they match the ones we've found here at the house and at the other crime scenes."

He hung up and looked over at Jane.

"I just spoke with the officers who are searching the historical society. They found more of the railroad spikes in the exhibit, like we expected. I told them to send them over to the lab. Do you think Maura can test all of these to see if they're from the same place?"

_Maura._

_Maura's sick._

"Jane?" Frost repeated.

Jane nodded.

"Yeah, she can do it. She'll need to test those prescrips, too."

_Maura._

_What if she's dying?_

_What if-_

"Hey, do you guys mind if I just take some of this stuff over to Maura now?"

She noticed them all exchanging glances. Deciding whether or not to ask her what was wrong. She hoped they wouldn't.

"Sure, Jane. Best get a quick start on it," Korsak said gently.

"You want me to drive you, Janie?"

She smiled at her little brother and shook her head.  
"Thanks, Frankie. I got it."

_Maura._

"I'm okay," she whispered to herself as she left.

_But Maura's not._

_What if she's dying?_

_How could you let this happen to her?_

When she was safely inside her car, the tears came. She drove back to the station in complete silence, tears rolling down her cheeks. When she pulled into the parking lot, she pulled out her phone and sent a text to the ME.

'Bringing the spikes to the lab. We really need to talk.'

Then she got out of the car and made her way inside.

* * *

"Maura."

It was quiet. Sad. Timid. Everything that Maura was not accustomed to hearing in the voice of Jane Rizzoli.

"Maura, I need you to tell me. Whatever it is, just please. I can't…"

Maura could tell she had been crying again. She opened her mouth to respond but her voice caught in her chest and she paused for a moment too long. Jane filled the silence.

"Please, Maura. Whatever it is, we can fix it. I'll help you. Just… just let me help you, Maura. Please."

_Tell her._

"Jane, I'm sorry. I… I need more time."

_Tell her._

"Jane…"

_This is cruel. Tell her._

"I'm in love with you, Jane."

If it hadn't been a scientific impossibility, Maura would have sworn that time stopped at that exact moment. Jane seemed to be absolutely frozen, her face a mixture of confusion and despair. Maura felt a shiver running up her spine. Suddenly the room was very cold. Or was it very hot? Was this a dream? Had she _really _just told Jane that-

"What?"

It was little more than a whisper.

"I know you heard me, Jane."

Her voice was shaking.

Jane shook her head.

"I didn't. I thought you said…"

"I said that I'm in love with you."

The detective just stared at her. It was torturous. There was no expression. No indication at all of what she was thinking or feeling. It seemed to last an eternity before she spoke again.

"What were you testing?"

Still a whisper, but a hint of something else. Frustration? Anger? Disgust?

"I was testing it."

"Testing _it_? You were testing whether or not you're _in love_ with _me_, Maura?"

Now it was clearly anger. Muted, but still definitely anger.

"Not… not _exactly._ I was… I was testing the physiological response of attraction, not lo-"

"Maura. You let me go this whole time thinking that you were sick. That you were _dying_. Do you have _any_ idea what that felt like? Any idea at all?"

She could feel the familiar knot forming in her throat.

"I'm so sorry, Jane. I didn't want you find out about the tests I was running, and when you did… I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to tell you."

Jane closed her eyes for a minute, exhaling slowly.

"Well, I'm glad you're okay," she finally said, speaking so softly that Maura struggled to hear.

Maura waited to see if she would say anything else. But she didn't.

"Is that all you're going to say?" Maura asked, matching Jane's volume.

Jane looked up, making eye contact for the first time in what felt like hours. Was she… was she smiling? No… laughing? Maura let a small smile take hold on her own lips. Maybe Jane… maybe she felt the same way?

"Maura," the detective chuckled, "you can't scientifically _prove_ that you love someone. I think you've gone a bit overboard on the testing with this one. You're _not_ in love with me."

Maura's heart sank. Her smile disappeared. She felt as if she was shrinking under Jane's scrutiny. She shook her head.

"Jane, I need you to hear what I'm saying."

"Please don't, Maura."

"You need to understand. When I'm around you, there are elevated levels of dopamine and norepinephrine present in my bloodstream. I have an elevated-"

"Maura, please stop."

"-pulse and palmar hyperhydrosis, which is commonly known as sweaty palms-"

"Maura-"

"-and my body unconsciously mimics-"

"-please-"

"-your facial expressions and body language-"

"-would you-"

"-and my pupils are more dilated-"

"Maura! Stop!"

The medical examiner flinched when Jane raised her voice. The detective held up her hands defensively.

"Maura. I understand what you are telling me. You're saying that all of these things are happening with your body. But that does _not_ mean that you are attracted to me. That does _not_ mean that you are in love with me. Okay? You're not. You're my best friend. You like _men_, Maura, not _me_."

She spoke to Maura as if she was explaining a difficult concept to a petulant child.

"I know how I feel about you, Jane."

It was a calm, quiet defense. She understood that Jane was confused, but she was _not_ a child. She was _not_ simply confused. This was real.

"Maura."

It was a whisper. A question. A desperate plea. _Please, take it back. Please, tell me you're joking. Please, let's pretend this didn't happen._

"I'm in love with you," Maura said for the third time that day.

Jane looked at her for another minute, then turned her gaze to the floor.

"Jane."

She couldn't look at her.

"Are you in love with me?"

She couldn't answer her.

"Jane, please say something."

"I don't want to say anything that would hurt you, Maura."

"You don't love me."

It wasn't a question.

"Of course I do, Maura. You're my best friend. But... I'm not..."

"You're not in love with me."

Jane's silence was the answer that Maura had feared. She tried to fight back the tears but there was no stopping them. Jane's heart broke when she saw Maura crying, but she didn't know what to do. Maura's confession had shaken her to the core. She was still trying to process everything, and now things just felt so... _different_.

"Maura..."

The medical examiner shook her head, trying to control her breathing as sobs coursed through her body.

"It's okay, Jane," she said between breaths, "It's not your fault. I don't know what I expected."

"Please, Maura, don't cry. I'm not going anywhere, okay? You're my best friend. Nothing has to change. It's okay."

Maura looked up at her, devastation etched into her face.

"Everything has changed now, Jane. Everything. You'll never... I've just ruined it. I never should've... it's my fault. I'm so sorry, Jane. I'm so sorry."

"Maura-"

"Please go, Jane. I just... please."

Jane shook her head, reaching out to take Maura's arm but stopping when the ME shrank back from her touch.

"I don't want to leave you like this," Jane whispered.

Maura stared directly into her eyes as she replied,

"I need you to."

Reluctantly, the detective made her way towards the door.

She stopped to look back one more time, then pushed the door open and was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

It felt like she'd swallowed a hurricane.

_Oh, God. Why did you do that? Why did you think that was a good idea? What's _wrong_ with you? Now you've really done it. Now you're really alone._

She felt like she was going to be sick. She also felt like her legs couldn't support her weight, and she couldn't shake the fluttery feeling in her chest that suggested she may wake up from this nightmare at any moment.

Maura had immediately gone into her office as soon as Jane had left. She'd shut off the lights and locked the door, not wanting anyone to come looking for her. She couldn't bear the thought of interacting with another human being at the moment.

_She's never going to look at you the same. You've just ruined the only friendship you have. Well, the only one you _had._ You're an idiot. And now you're alone._

She sat down at her desk and rested her head in her hands, letting herself cry. She didn't know how long she sat there, wrestling with the self-reviling thoughts that pushed their way into her mind.

_You have to _work_ with her. This is your _job._ And now you've screwed things up so badly that you can't even go _do_ your job. You're sitting in here, in the dark, while there is work to be done. What good are you if you can't even do your job?_

The medical examiner was still in shock over what she had done. She had just told her _best friend_, who also happened to be her co-worker, that she was _in love_ with her. It hadn't been a dream. She had actually done it. And Jane clearly did not feel the same way.

Eventually, the tears ran dry. Her breathing slowed to its regular pace. Her mind stopped its barrage of verbal attacks against her. The silence was almost worse than the self-hatred. She really was alone.

_What are you going to do now?_

She sniffed, wiping her eyes one last time and straightening her shoulders.

"I'm going to work."

* * *

"Hey, Jane, is everything okay?"

_No._

"Yeah, Frost, I'm good. Just a little out of it today."

He nodded, never taking his eyes off of her. She had been sitting at her desk, staring at her computer screen for over an hour. It wouldn't have been as weird if her computer had actually been turned on. He knew Jane too well to buy into the obvious lie, but he also knew her too well to push for information that she wasn't interested in giving.

"I'm going to run downstairs and grab a coffee. You want anything?" Jane asked her partner.

"No, thanks. I'm good."

She didn't really want coffee, but she also didn't really want to be around anyone at the moment. Anyone except Maura, who clearly didn't _want_ her around.

_You shouldn't have left her up there like that. You're a terrible friend. A terrible person._

She got into the elevator and just stood there as the door closed. Her hand instinctively reached out to push the button for Maura's floor. She stopped herself from pushing it, but she couldn't quite bring herself to push the button for the ground floor either.

The detective sighed, closing her eyes and running a hand back through her unruly curls. She was beginning to reach for the ground floor button, to actually go get the coffee that she had told Frost she was getting, when her phone beeped to alert her of an incoming text message. From Maura.

'Got something.'

* * *

Her senses were on high alert when she walked into the autopsy room. She didn't know what to expect. Maura had been so upset when she left, she just wanted to make sure her friend was okay. It had been nearly impossible for her to just walk out when Maura was crying like she had been, but it had also been made very clear to her that she needed to leave.

"Ah, Jane! Glad you're here. I've got something to show you."

Jane was immediately suspicious. Maura sounded perfectly fine. Her voice was calm, steady. As if their earlier discussion had never taken place.

"That's great, Maura. What is it?"

She knew she didn't sound as convincing as Maura, but the medical examiner either didn't notice or pretended not to. Instead, she looked up at Jane and motioned for her to come over to where she was standing over the bodies of the two murder victims.

"Actually, I have a number of things to show you. But I'll start with this."

She held up a needle.

"This is one of the needles that were found in Adam Neumann's backpack."

She moved her hand so that the needle was hovering next to the scratch marks on the wrist of the first victim, then moved over to compare that same needle to the scratch marks on the second victim.

"What do you see?"

"Um…"

Jane knew that whatever it was probably should have been obvious, but she was still trying to play catch up with Maura's emotions. Had she forgotten? Had she forgotten about what she had said to Jane earlier? And how upset she had been?

"Look closely, Jane. The needle is far too small to have made these scratch marks. I've examined all of the needles found in Adam's backpack. None of them are a match for these marks."

Then it occurred to Jane what was going on. Maura hadn't forgotten. Maura was probably still hurting. But _Maura_ was hiding behind the professionalism of _Dr. Isles_, Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. She was doing what she always did when she was upset; hiding herself behind work and pretending that the problem didn't exist.

"Maura…"

The ME looked up at her, and for a moment Jane saw it. For just a moment, the hurt flashed through her eyes. Then it was gone as quickly as it came.

"I'd like to apologize for my outburst earlier, Jane. It won't happen again. It was very unprofessional of me. I'm sorry. But I do have more results to show you, if you have the time?"

Jane didn't know what to do. She _needed_ to speak with _Maura,_ not Dr. Isles. But, for now, maybe it was best to wait. So she nodded.

"As I was saying, none of the needles found in Mr. Neumann's backpack are a match for these scratches."

"Right, so he must have another one somewhere that he was using?"

"That's a guess, detective. I also ran tox screens with all of the prescription drugs that you found in his backpack. None of those were a match either. None of those drugs killed our victims."

This caught Jane's attention.

"Wait, so you're saying that Adam Neumann _isn't_ our killer?"

The medical examiner held up a hand.

"That isn't all I found, Jane. I'd like you to come take a look at these railway spikes for a moment."

Maura led her back to a table where all of the recovered spikes were laid out with identification numbers next to them.

"These first four were recovered from our victims. The next three were found in Adam Neumann's backpack, and the final five were taken from the exhibit at the historical society."

Jane tilted her head as she looked at all of the spikes.

"Those look kind of… different," she observed, pointing at the five from the historical society.

Maura beamed.

"Exactly! That's because they _are_ different. When you brought them in to me, I immediately noticed that there was a significant difference in the _weight_ between the spikes found in the historical society and those found in Mr. Neumann's backpack. So, I had the lab run tests on them to determine what type of metal each spike was made of."

"Okay… so… what did you find?"

"The first four spikes here, the ones found in our two victims, are made of iron. I would estimate that they are around a century old. The ones found in Adam Neumann's backpack are _also_ made of iron. They also appear to be around a century old. But the railway spikes from the historical society are made of _aluminum._ They were coated to look as if they were made of aged iron, but they _aren't_. They're not authentic. They're _fakes_."

"But, the spikes found in our victims are the same type as the ones found in Adam Neumann's house, right?"

"Yes, Jane, but the ones from the historical society are _inauthentic_."

The detective didn't quite understand the significance, but she wasn't sure how to say it without hurting Maura's feelings. Or… Dr. Isles's feelings. Apparently, Dr. Isles knew Jane so well that she would say it for her.

"This is the part where you give me a look of disbelief and say 'Gee, Maura! Good thing you've figured out what those railway spikes are made of. I'll just go call the historical society's board of directors and have them arrested for displaying inauthentic iron pieces at their exhibit. It'll be national news!' Did that sound sarcastic enough?"

Jane just blinked. She didn't know how to respond. Dr. Isles was smirking at her, waiting for her to laugh, but the whole situation was just too bizarre. It was too much.

"Maura, come on," she said softly.

The medical examiner shrugged it off.

"I was simply trying to act normal. You're normally very sarcastic, but I'm afraid I just don't have quite the same gift for it as you do."

The detective sighed. Dr. Isles wasn't giving any ground here.

"Okay, Maura," she reluctantly assented. "So the spikes from the historical society are fakes. Couldn't the killer have just switched them out? Taken the authentic ones to use on the vics and left the aluminum ones so that no one would notice they were gone?"

This seemed to be what Dr. Isles was waiting for her to say. The ME grinned.  
"I would say yes, except for the next piece that I found."

Jane nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"I decided to check the rest of the pieces in the iron exhibit. To see if only the spikes were fake, or if it was the whole collection. The whole _collection_ is made of aluminum, Jane."

"So, the spikes used on our victims didn't come from the historical society exhibit?"

The medical examiner shrugged.

"It's possible that the killer could have switched out the entire collection and replaced every item with an aluminum replica in order to avoid suspicion."

"Yeah, but why would anyone do that? That's an awful lot of trouble to go to when they could have just found some aluminum spikes and used _those_ on the victims. And why would Adam be carrying around a backpack full of evidence, when none of the needles or prescriptions we found matches the cause of death?"

"I'd be guessing."

Jane couldn't help smiling at the familiar look of conflict on her friend's face.

"Humor me, Dr. Isles."

"Well," the ME began, "the historical society would likely lose its funding and support if the public found out that the exhibits were not authentic. So, I wouldn't suspect that anyone other than Adam or Peter Neumann would know that the pieces were made of aluminum instead of iron. So-"

Now Jane was beginning to catch on.

"So, if somebody wanted to make it _look_ like Adam Neumann was our killer, they wouldn't have known to plant fake spikes on him. They would have _assumed_ that the spikes in the exhibit were authentic, so they would have used authentic spikes at the crime scene _and_ planted authentic ones in Adam's house. Just like they planted those needles and prescriptions."

"That's an awful lot of speculation, detective."

"No, it's a theory. Adam Neumann could still be our killer, but that evidence is making it look more and more like maybe he's being set up. If there's any possibility that Adam _isn't_ our killer, then we need to make sure we're still looking in other places. I'll go tell Frost."

She turned to go, but paused for a moment as she tried to decide what else she should say to Maura.

"Maura, we _will_ talk about… you know, _stuff_. Okay?"

The medical examiner smiled sadly at her, and Jane saw her friend's emotions peeking out from behind the mask of professionalism.

"I know, Jane. But… not now. Just… go do your gumshoe thing."

Jane smiled at the familiar phrase.

"Okay, Maura."


	14. Chapter 14

**I got into a bit of a writing spree over the past couple of days. Might see another update or two this weekend, depending how much else I manage to get done! Thanks for reading, and thanks for reviewing! It's great to hear your feedback...especially when it's so positive! =)**

* * *

"It would have to be somebody who _knew_ that Adam Neumann had been stalking Lily Evanston. Somebody who knew enough to send Lily that flower and make it look like Adam was guilty," Jane speculated as she paced back and forth across the room.

"Yeah, but it still doesn't make sense. I haven't found any other connection between the victims besides the fact that they both dated the same girl," Frost replied, still typing away at his computer.

Jane stopped, a thought occurring to her.

"Wait a second. Frost, our first victim was researching drug interactions for his job. That's what his cousin told us when we interviewed him. Maybe there's something there that we missed. Is it possible for you to pull up a list of the drugs he was researching? I could have Maura check them out and see if any of them are present in the tox screens."

"I can try."

Jane watched intently as Frost began running some searches on his computer.

"Here it is. He was working for a company called Geraldo Pharmaceutical Corp. Looks like he was part of a team of researchers who monitored interactions between different types of drugs. Keeping an eye out for dangerous combinations so they could put out the appropriate warnings. But he also had a pretty large case load of drugs that he was privately testing. There's not a whole lot of information here about _where_ those drugs came from, but there is a list of all the ones he was looking into."

"Great. Could you print that for me?"

"Sure thing."

"Better print the ones he was working on with the research team, too. Just in case. I should have Maura check into all of them."

Frost raised his eyebrows at her.

"This is one hell of a list, Jane. Dr. Isles is going to have her work cut out for her."

Jane leaned over to get a better look.

"How many drugs do you think are on that list?" she asked.

"A couple hundred, at least," Frost guessed.

"Damn, this guy was busy," she replied with a shake of her head.

When the list had printed, she grabbed it and headed towards the elevators.

"I'll keep looking for any other connections between the two vics!" Frost called after her.

She gave him the thumbs up as she climbed into the elevator, hitting the button to head down to the basement and smiling at the extra excuse to go see Maura again.

* * *

"Hey! Maura!" she called as she jogged into the autopsy room.

She didn't see the medical examiner, so she wandered over to her office and paused outside the door. Maura was sitting in front of her computer, scrolling through pages and pages of shoes that cost more than Jane made in a month. Jane couldn't help smiling a little at the medical examiner's chosen form of stress relief, until she remembered _why_ Maura was stressed in the first place.

She knocked gently on the door, but it was still loud enough that Maura jumped and frantically tried to close out of her online shopping tabs.

"Yes, Jane?" she said, instantly placing herself back under the veil of professionalism that she had put up earlier.

"This is a list of all the drugs that our first victim was running interaction tests on for the pharmaceutical corporation that he worked for. We were thinking maybe you could check these with the tox screens and see if any of them are a match for our cause of death."

Maura stood up and walked over to begin browsing through the multiple pages of the list. She shook her head slowly.

"It'll take time, a _lot_ of time, but I can do it."

As Jane was preparing to reply, her phone rang.

"Rizzoli," she answered.

Maura watched as Jane's eyes widened in disbelief.

"How did we miss that?" the detective asked incredulously, shaking her head.

She paused, listening to the response, then finished the call with,

"Send it to Maura's computer. We'll look at it here."

"What is it, Jane?" Dr. Isles asked.

Jane went to Maura's computer and pulled up an email that Frost had just sent.

"Look at this," she said, pointing at another list of drugs. "Our second victim was running drug trials for a medical research facility here in Boston. Doesn't seem like a coincidence, considering that you said both of our victims were killed by some type of neurotoxin."

Maura's eyes scanned quickly over the list, then she hit print and gathered the physical copy from her printer.

"These lists are both very long, and they contain a lot of new drugs that I'm not very familiar with. I'll start running tox screens on them, but it's going to take a while."

"It's okay, Maura. I know it's a lot."

Maura began looking over the list again, then seemed to come up with an idea.

"You know, a few of my old professors over at BCU were always very involved in the research of new drug testing. They'd definitely be able to help me pinpoint which of these drugs I should be moving to the top of the priority list for the tox screens. I'm sure they would also have a pretty good idea if any of these combinations could potentially be responsible for the deaths of our victims. I think I'll go pay the chemistry research lab a visit tomorrow while I wait for the results of those tox screens."

She paused for a moment, then added quietly, "The change of scenery might not be a bad thing."

Jane watched the expression on her face, waiting for her to look up, but she seemed to be purposefully avoiding the detective's gaze.

"Are you that uncomfortable around me?" Jane whispered, trying and failing to hide the hurt that she felt.

Maura shook her head, still refusing to look up.

"No, Jane, it isn't that. I could just use a distraction, I think. That's all."

It was killing Jane not to be able to help her best friend when she was this upset. She just wanted to-

"Is it okay if I hug you?" she blurted out.

It was enough to finally bring Maura's eyes up to her own.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Jane. I don't think it will help."

Jane sighed.

"Maybe not. But… maybe it would," she responded quietly.

The detective saw Maura's eyes start to water again, and she reflexively opened her arms a few inches and waited to see what the medical examiner would do. Maura hesitated only for a second before moving slowly into Jane's arms and wrapping her own around the detective's back, pulling herself as tightly into the embrace as she could. Jane responded by closing her arms around Maura's shoulders and placing her hand reflexively into the curls on the back of her head.

"It's okay Maura," Jane whispered, feeling herself begin to tear up as Maura buried her face into her neck.

Jane wasn't sure how long they stood there, but she knew that she wasn't going to let go of Maura until the medical examiner pulled away. She didn't want to say anything else either, afraid that whatever she said would cause Maura to retreat back into her Dr.-Isles-the-professional mode. So she just held her, and she realized that she had needed it as much as Maura had. This was her best friend. She couldn't lose her. They couldn't lose each other.

She wouldn't let that happen.


	15. Chapter 15

**I wasn't going to post this one quite yet since I literally just posted the previous two chapters last night... BUT it felt wrong to keep this one from you since it's already finished. So I hope you enjoy this one, because I really enjoyed writing it! Your reviews are all so very appreciated, thank you so much for reading and for your support so far. More chapters should be on the way soon =)**

* * *

"_It's just up this way, Jane," Maura whispered as they made their way through the underground tunnel._

"_Do you see them? Are we getting close?" Jane replied._

_Maura held the infrared scanner up to the ceiling, looking for the heat imprints of Frost, Tommy and T.J._

"_I don't see anything yet," she whispered with a shake of her head._

_As they took another step forward, Maura felt the ground begin to shake and looked up to see parts of the concrete coming down around their heads. She knelt down and covered her head with her hands, waiting for it to pass._

"_Please go back, Maura," Jane begged her as they stood up._

"_No," she replied definitively._

_They began walking again, but it was only a few seconds before Maura felt the ground start moving again under her feet. She looked up and saw a giant crack appearing directly above her head, but it was as if her feet were glued to the ground. She couldn't get them to carry her out of harm's way._

_Jane's face was an expression of terror, and Maura knew what was going to happen but had no way to stop it. Jane leaped towards her and pushed her out of the way of the falling concrete. But when Maura picked herself up off the ground, her friend was nowhere to be seen._

"_Jane?" she whispered, her throat and eyes burning._

_Then she saw what was left of the woman she loved, jutting out from underneath the concrete that would have crushed _her_ if Jane hadn't been there._

* * *

"Maura?" a gentle voice asked, squeezing her shoulder.

The medical examiner opened her eyes to see Angela Rizzoli peering down at her with concern.

"You were having another nightmare, honey. Should I call Janie?"

Maura shook her head.

"No, Angela. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Mama Rizzoli nodded and gave her a weak smile.

"It's okay, Maura. You've just had us a little worried lately, that's all."

She didn't know how to respond. Jane certainly wouldn't have told her about… about what happened the day before, would she?

"I know you don't want to talk to me about it," Angela said, giving her a pat on the knee. "I don't take it personally. That's what you have Jane for. I'm just here to make the pancakes."

She smiled brightly as she got up to leave the room.

"Want me to make you some tea?" she asked, stopping in the doorway.

Maura nodded, smiling up at her.

"Thank you, Angela."

* * *

"Hey, Ma," Jane said, planting a kiss to her mother's cheek.

"Good morning, sweetheart. Hungry?"

She held up a hand and shook her head.

"Nah, I'll get something at the café later. Is Maura here?"

"No, she already left for work. Said she had something to take care of before she went on her field trip to BCU."

Jane sighed, unable to hide her disappointment. She had really been hoping to talk to Maura before she left.

"Are you two okay, Janie?" Angela asked cautiously. "She didn't want me to tell you, but she had another dream last night. I'm really worried about her."

Jane's expression changed from disappointment to anger in an instant.

"Ma! Why didn't you call? You should've called me!"

Angela was taken aback by her daughter's outburst.

"She said she didn't want me to call you. She's an adult, Jane! She said she was fine!"

"Well, she's not _fine_, Ma. She's not. She…"

Jane sighed, placing her head in her hands and deciding not to finish her sentence.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Is there something wrong with Maura?"

Jane looked up to see the concern in her mother's eyes, and she felt her chest tighten. She wanted…_needed_… to talk to someone about what Maura had said to her. But… her mother couldn't be that person.

"Janie, you know that you can always come to me."

"I know, Ma. I know. It's just…"

Angela grabbed her daughter by the arm and led her over to the couch.

"Tell me everything."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"No, Ma."

"Jane Clementine Riz-"

"She told me she's in love with me, Ma."

She felt herself say it before she had given her mouth permission to do so. It caught her almost as much off guard as it had caught her mother. Jane carefully watched her mother's face, looking for a reaction. But there didn't seem to be one.

"Did you tell her?"

Jane was confused.

"Did I tell her…?"

"Did you tell her that you love her, too?"

"Geez, Ma! No!"

Angela glared at her, then got up and headed back towards the kitchen.

"Wha- Ma, where are you going?"

"I'm going back to the kitchen to wash the dishes. There's nothing wrong with Maura, Jane. There's something wrong with _you_."

"With _me_, Ma? Wha- you can't just go around saying things like that! You think I'm making this up?"

Angela turned around and gave her a look of angry disbelief.

"I don't think you're making it up, Jane! I believe you."

The detective got up and walked over to face her mother in the kitchen.

"Then why'd you say that, Ma?" she asked quietly, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Angela placed her hands gently on her daughter's shoulders and looked up into her eyes.

"Janie, I know you don't need me to answer that question."

The detective looked down at her feet, avoiding her mother's gaze.

"_Jane_. She was calling out for you in all of those dreams, you know. She wouldn't tell me what they were about, but she was _always_ calling out for you."

She paused, waiting to see if Jane would interject. She didn't.

"I think I've known for a long time before, but that's when I really knew."

"Stop it, Ma. You don't know what you're talking about."

Angela shook her head sadly.

"I know exactly what I'm talking about, Janie. What you have with Maura is something so special. I've never seen two people who care about each other as much as you two do."

"Of course you-"

"I'm not done."

Jane looked up when her mother chastised her, surprised at how serious Angela's expression was.

"I want your happiness, Jane. I'm your mother. That's what I want. And when I see the way you look at Maura... Janie… I _see_ the happiness that I want for you."

Angela smiled at her daughter, at the thought of her happiness. She reached out and tucked a strand of dark hair behind Jane's ear.

"You have this look, sweetheart. This special look, only for her. I've never seen it when you look at me, or your brothers. Or your father, even though you always were a daddy's girl. And I know you never looked at any man you brought home the way you look at Maura. Janie, you look at that woman like she's the most valuable, precious, perfect thing in this world. And when she's spouting off words I _know_ you don't understand," she smiled, "I look at you and I still see it. Because no matter how much you tease her, you wouldn't change a single _thing_ about her. You look at her like she's the only thing that matters."

"Ma…"

"Janie, you look at her like you're in love with her, too."

The detective was silent, still refusing to look up, but Angela could see her cheeks beginning to turn a bright shade of red.

"You know that I love you _both_, very much," Angela said softly, "but I'm your mother. Whatever you do, I will love you and support you forever. You _remember_ that. But, sweetheart, you should also remember… I think Maura would love you forever, too."

She planted a quick kiss to the top of Jane's head, then turned around and started washing the dishes. After a few minutes, she heard her daughter get up and leave. She closed her eyes. _Tell her, Janie._


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay this is honestly the last finished chapter that I have right now. I don't have the self-restraint to not post it haha. BUT NOW you will actually have to wait for me to write the next chapters before I can post them. ANYWAY, enjoy =) And thank you for reading/reviewing!**

* * *

"Good morning, Frost!" Jane said with a smile as she entered the office.

He eyed her suspiciously.

"Good… morning, Jane?" he said questioningly.

She smirked at him.

"What? Am I not allowed to be friendly?" she joked.

He raised his eyebrows at her and held up his hands defensively.

"Hey. I'm certainly not complaining," he replied with a smile. "Why are you so happy?"

_Because of Maura._

"Don't know. Don't question it," she said with a shrug.

Frost laughed and shook his head.

"So, I was thinking we should go talk to Adam Neumann. Maybe feel out this whole setup situation a little bit, see if there's anybody who might have some interest in him going away for murder," Jane suggested.

Frost opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he saw Korsak entering the room with a grim look on his face.

"What is it?" Jane asked the sergeant.

He shook his head.

"Our suspect, Adam Neumann, was just found dead in his home this morning."

* * *

"Well, I guess Adam Neumann isn't our killer," Jane said, staring at the railroad spikes driven down through his hands and knees.

Frost shook his head sadly.

"Do you think we could have stopped this one?"

Jane put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"We had no reason to suspect he was in any danger. This isn't on us, okay?"

She looked around impatiently, waiting for something. Someone, actually.

"Hey, does anybody know when Maura's going to get here?" she asked.

Frost tried to hide the smile that snuck across his face, but Jane caught it.

"What?" she asked. "What are you smirking about?"

"Is that why you're Detective Friendly this morning?" he teased.

Her jaw dropped.

"What are you… Have you… Did you talk to my mother?"

She was staring him down, looking a bizarre mixture of angry and embarrassed, which made him laugh even harder.

"No I haven't talked to your _mother_, Jane. I have _eyes_. I was just waiting for you to tell me."

"To tell you _what_?"

He simply smiled at her and gave her a knowing look, then wandered over to another corner of the crime scene. Jane would probably have laughed about the situation, but when she saw Dr. Pike entering the scene, she groaned instead.

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" she whispered to Frost in what came out as a low growl.

He shrugged.

"Didn't Dr. Isles go to the chem lab at BCU today? She probably just asked him to cover for her."

"Ugghhh, I can't _stand_ this-"

"Hello, Detective Rizzoli."

She whipped around and pasted a fake smile on her face.

"Good morning, Dr. Pike! It's good to see you."

"Yes, well, it's always a pleasure to fill in for Dr. Isles every time she goes irresponsibly gallivanting off all over Boston while there is work to be done."

Jane could feel the anger slowly rising as she tried to maintain her professional appearance.

"Yes, well, Dr. Pike, she's actually consulting with a few colleagues on another case we've been working on."

He looked up at her for a moment, then lowered his head back down to continue examining the body.

"I would imagine that, if she were fully qualified to do her job, she wouldn't need to be off consulting with another professional. At least, I know that _I'm_ fully qualified to do my own work."

Jane gritted her teeth and looked over at Frost, who silently tried to motion for her to calm down. She sighed, doing her best to let the anger leave her body with the breath that she was exhaling. As Dr. Pike began removing the first railway spike from the victim's hand, Jane noticed something on the victim's wrist. This time, they weren't scratch marks.

"Dr. Pike, right there. On the victim's wrist. I can't quite tell what it is, but… I _know_ that with all of your education and experience, you would certainly be able to tell me."

Flattery was the only way to operate with Pike, and it worked like a charm.

"Of course, detective. There are two small puncture wounds on the inside of the victim's wrist. They appear to be-"

"Fang marks," Jane interjected.

He looked up at her, nodding his head.

"Yes, detective. Most likely from some type of snake."

"What is it, Jane?" Frost asked, seeing the look on Jane's face change from curiosity to anger.

"Lily Evanston's _brother_ has snakes, Frost."

"A lot of people have snakes, Jane. They're pretty popular as pets."

She shook her head.

"I just don't like it. Think about it. Peter Evanston would definitely have known that someone was stalking his sister. And guys talk. Maybe he found out that it was Adam and scared him into leaving her alone back in high school. Maybe he didn't like the guy his sister was marrying, so he kills him and blames it on Adam. Kills the ex-boyfriend, too, to help cover it up."

"We can at least go have a little chat with him."

"Yeah. At least."

* * *

Jane knocked loudly on Peter Evanston's front door, and was surprised when he willingly came out onto the porch to greet them.

"Hello, Mr. Evanston. Remember me?"

He nodded.

"Sure, you're the detective who came here about Willy."

She forced a smile.

"That's right. And now I'm back again, because we just found _fang_ marks on one of our victims. And you know what else? I'd bet those scratch marks on our other two victims _also_ came from snakes, and that the neurotoxin that killed them came from a snakebite. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

Peter's eyes got wide as he realized what she was accusing him of.

"No, no! I didn't kill anyone, detective! I told you, those snakes aren't mine. They're my roommate's! And besides, none of them are poisonous. They're all constrictors."

Jane stopped for a moment, considering what he'd said.

"Hold on a second. Peter, did your sister ever tell you about the guy who was stalking her back in high school?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I took care of it."

"What exactly do you mean you 'took care of it'?"

He glanced nervously between Jane and Frost for a moment before speaking.

"I found out who the guy was and I roughed him up a little bit. It was a long time ago. He's fine now."

"Was 'the guy' Adam Neumann?"

He nodded skeptically.

"Then he isn't _fine_. He's _dead_."

Peter's face paled.

"I swear to you I have _no idea_ who did that. I didn't do it. I was here all night. I'd tell you to ask my roommate but he was working all night."

A thought occurred to Jane at the mention of his roommate.

"Did you ever happen to mention Adam Neumann to your roommate? Mention that he was stalking your sister and sending her those flowers with the pictures of her dates?"

He nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I told him about it once when he was asking about my sister's fiancée. You don't… you don't think he…?"

"Is he here?" Jane asked, trying to peek inside the window.

"No, he isn't. He's at work."

"What does your roommate do, Peter?" Frost asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. I just know he works with medicine and chemicals, creating vaccines and testing new drugs and stuff."

Jane exchanged a look with her partner.

"Tell us his name. Now," Frost said, pulling out his tablet.

"Colby Martin."

"And where does he work?"

"He works in the research lab for the BCU chemistry department."

For a moment, Jane thought that maybe she hadn't heard him correctly.

"Hey, Jane, isn't that where…"

_Oh, God. Maura_.

"We need to go, Frost. Now!"

Jane felt her legs carrying her back towards her car and she heard Frost's feet hitting the ground behind her. She fumbled with her keys, hands shaking, trying to fight back the panic that was creeping in.

"BCU has a big chem department, Jane. I'm sure she's fine."

She wouldn't look at him. She wouldn't answer him. She tore out of the parking spot and hit the gas.

_Maura._


	17. Chapter 17

**Here is the next installment! Hope you enjoy it, and your reviews are appreciated! Let me know what you think =)**

* * *

"Right this way, Dr. Isles," the young man said, motioning for her to follow him down the hallway.

She smiled politely and fell in step behind him, fondly remembering her own time spent as a student in these very halls.

"Just right in here."

As she entered the office, she immediately noticed the exquisite collection of antiques.

"These are beautiful," she remarked, stopping to look at some of the old photographs that were being proudly displayed on the shelves.

"Family heirlooms," he remarked. "They gave me the smallest office in the building, but I've still got the room to make it look nice."

She turned to look at him, a confused expression on her face.

"This is your office? I thought we would be meeting in Dr. Reisman's lab."

He shook his head.

"He's meeting us here in a few minutes."

Maura turned back around to continue looking at the photographs while she waited, then noticed something towards the back of the shelf. Before she had time to say anything, she felt a terrifyingly familiar object being pressed between her shoulder blades.

"Spotted the railroad spikes, huh?" the young man asked her. "Wondered how long it would take you to notice. Why don't you have a seat, Dr. Isles."

He used the barrel of the gun to push her over towards a stool on the other side of the room.

"Just hop right on up there and make yourself comfortable."

She did as she was told, trying to force herself to remain calm despite her body's physiological reaction to the fearful situation. As the young man backed away from her slowly, the gun still pointed at her, she noticed that his step was uneven. She peered closely down at his legs.

"You have a prosthetic leg," she observed, trying to ignore the shaking sound of her voice.

He nodded.

"Yes, I do. No thanks to those assholes."

"What did they do?"

_Just keep him talking_, she thought to herself.

He laughed.

"I know what you're doing. It won't work. You just sit there and shut the hell up. Maybe you'll make it out of here alive. Hasn't been decided yet."

_Maybe this is another dream_, she thought. She hoped. _It sure feels like a dream. Maybe I'll wake up._

The young man picked up the railroad spikes from their spot on the shelf and placed them in his coat pocket, then reached into a drawer and pulled out a hammer. She felt her stomach lurch, and thought she might be sick.

"No, please. Don't do this," she stammered as he walked over towards her, gun still in hand.

"Place your hands on your knees."

She felt the first few tears falling down her cheeks and realized that she was holding her breath. She inhaled sharply, closing her eyes as she did what she was told.

"Now, just relax, Dr. Isles. This is going to pinch a little."

_Do something, do something, do something._

But there was nothing for her to do. This man had a _gun_ pointed at her face. She opened an eye to watch, to prepare. If she just waited, he'd _have _to put the gun down to nail in the spike. He couldn't hold it _and_ hammer at the same time with one hand. He started to pull one of the spikes out of his pocket, then dropped it back in quickly.

"Forgot something!" he said, carefully reaching into another drawer and pulling out a roll of duct tape.

He tore off a piece of it and placed it over her mouth.

"Can't have you making a scene in here," he whispered conspiratorially.

He tore off another piece and wrapped it into a cylinder, bending it slightly at the top to insert the tip of the railroad spike and taping the bottom to the back of her right hand, where it rested atop her knee. It held the spike straight up into the air, just waiting to be hammered in. Her heart skipped and her breath caught in her chest. She felt some sort of sound escape her throat, but it never made it past the duct tape.

"Oh, don't be so disappointed. You didn't think I'd really put this down, did you?" he mocked, motioning to the gun in his hand.

"Now, we're ready. So, remember. This is going to pinch."

He raised up the hammer and brought it down against the head of the spike.

And when she felt the iron tearing through her metacarpals and flexor tendons, she knew for sure that she wasn't dreaming.

* * *

"Jane."

Frost tried to get his partner's attention, but she was staring straight ahead through the windshield, her foot pressing the gas pedal all the way down to the floor.

"Jane!"

She glanced over at him, something on her face softening. She let off the gas a little, still flying down the road at a speed way faster than Frost considered safe.

"We won't be able to help Maura if you wreck the car on the way there," he said quietly.

She turned and glared at him, opening her mouth as if to argue, then realized that he was right. Her foot released the gas pedal a little more, slowing the car to an urgent, yet still manageable, speed.

She took a deep breath, gripping the steering wheel so hard that Frost was actually concerned that she would hurt herself. He reached over and gently covered one of her hands with his, waiting for her to relax her grip.

"We'll get to her, Jane."

She nodded, sniffing and straightening her shoulders.

"What did Korsak say?"

It came out of her like a growl, but she didn't bother to apologize.

"They're on the way, Jane. But we'll most likely beat them there."

She nodded again, returning her eyes to their position of staring out the front windshield. The detective _was_ watching the road, but her concentration was continuously being interrupted by the horrific thoughts that were pounding through her head.

_Maura._

"Call her again," she demanded.

Frost dialed, then shook his head.

"Voicemail."

_There's no service. It's okay. No service in the lab. It's fine._

Jane made a left turn, then slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting the line of cars stopped in front of her.

"_Oh, fuck! _Dammit! Why the hell…" she pounded the horn and then the steering wheel, then rested her forehead on it for a second as she took a deep breath.

"Construction, Jane. There's no shoulder through here. We'll have to wait."

The situation was so ridiculous that she almost laughed.

"Maura and I got stuck in construction the first time we went to Peter Evanston's house. At this same spot. And she _told me_ not to go this way, even then, and now I've gone and-"

Frost reached over and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Breathe, Jane. Come on, it's fine. We're almost there. She's going to be okay."

Jane leaned over to look out across the traffic. She could see the campus from here. It was only a few blocks. She opened her door and got out of the driver's seat.

"Take the wheel, Frost," she said.

"Jane, you shouldn't go in there by yourself."

"_Maura's_ in there by herself, Frost! I can run there faster than you can drive right now. I'm going."

He shook his head, but he knew there would be no talking her out of it. He slid himself over into the driver's seat.

"I'll bring the car around to the science building as soon as I can get through here."

She nodded, then took off on foot towards the campus.

_Be there soon. Hang in there, Maura. I'm coming._


	18. Chapter 18

**Your responses to this story have been so encouraging. Thank you so much for reading and for reviewing, and for your continued support. I'll continue getting updates out as quickly as I can =)**

* * *

"You okay, doc?" the young man mocked her, grinning as she opened her eyes.

"You passed out on me. Must've hurt pretty bad, huh?"

The light hurt her eyes, and she tried to reach up to block it, but she felt a strange resistance pulling downward on her hands. And then the pain washed over her all at once, turning her stomach and clouding her vision.

She willed herself to look down. To assess the damage.

There was very little that she could actually see past all the blood. It was covering the backs of her hands and running in little beads down the sides of her pants. The medical examiner closed her eyes for a minute to take a breath. _You need to assess your injuries, Dr. Isles. You need to look._

She looked down and tried to wiggle her fingers. The effort caused her to cry out in pain, although she could barely hear herself through the duct tape that remained covering her mouth. But worse than the pain was the fact that she couldn't move her fingers. She couldn't will them to bend. _Severe damage to the flexor tendons. Both hands. And fractured metacarpals._

The pain radiated up from her knees, and she knew even before she tried to extend her leg that it wouldn't be a successful attempt. She was able to lift her foot a few inches before nearly causing herself to black out again from the intensity of the pain that it caused. She closed her eyes. _Damage to the quadriceps femoris tendon. Restriction of knee flexibility. Likely unable to bear weight._

"I do feel a bit bad about doing this to you, doc. You're kind of the innocent party. But if I'd let you talk to your professors, it wouldn't have taken them ten seconds to figure me out. And I couldn't let that happen. At least keeping you out of the way gives me some time."

He sat on the edge of his desk, the gun pointed up at her. He clicked his fingers as he remembered something else.

"I guess I should give you the same experience I gave them, right? I mean, for _research_ purposes, right doc?"

He walked out of the room for a moment and came back carrying a glass aquarium. Maura squinted to see what was inside. _Micrurus fulvius, eastern coral snake. Rarely attacks humans. Potent neurotoxin causing death within 1-3 hours after envenomation. Sooner if multiple bites are sustained._

"Can't keep this guy at the house," the young man said with a shrug, "but nobody knows I keep him here."

He pulled open a drawer in his desk and pulled out a pair of thick, leather work gloves.

_Short fangs. Unable to penetrate thick fabrics._

She looked down at what she was wearing and shook her head. If he angered that snake enough to bite, her outfit would be no protection.

"Here's the situation, doc. These guys aren't mean. They don't bite unless you scare them. They're actually pretty terrified of people, to be honest."

He laughed as he slid the gloves onto his hand.

"So I'll tell you what I told both of them. I'm just going to set this snake on your lap, and if you just sit there and don't move, he won't bother you. You just stay put and don't give me any trouble, and he won't give _you_ any trouble."

Maura tried to keep herself calm. She focused on her breathing, trying to focus on each breath and block out the pain and the terror of watching him step towards her with the snake and placing it gently on her lap.

_This snake could kill you._

She stared at it. Couldn't take her eyes off of it. It just stayed, coiled on her lap, staring up at her, mocking her.

_You're going to die._

* * *

"You! Hey!" Jane yelled, pointing to the first student that she saw as she sprinted onto BCU grounds.

She flashed him her badge as she slowed to a stop to speak with him.

"Where's the chemistry research lab?" she asked him.

His eyes widened and his face paled, nervous about speaking with an angry police officer.

"I, uh-"

She held up her hands, trying to be as patient as possible.

"You're not in trouble, okay, but this is very important. Now. _Where?_"

He pointed across the campus to a large, stone building.

"It's over there. Basement of the science building."

The detective took off running in the direction of the stone building, out of breath but still forcing herself to push on at full sprint.

_You can catch your breath once you've got Maura._

* * *

He had perched himself back up on the corner of his desk again. She thought he was smirking at her, but she couldn't take her eyes off of that damn snake.

_The brain automatically attends to stimuli that it perceives as threatening._

"Have you been keeping up with the latest news regarding antivenom for these little guys?"

He seemed to be waiting for her to respond, then continued after a brief hesitation.

"Yeah, the pharmaceutical companies have stopped producing it because it isn't _profitable_ for them anymore. Sucks for people who get bit, right?"

He shook his head.

"Since coral snakes don't go out of their way to bite people, it's actually pretty rare for anyone to _need_ the antivenom. So those pharm guys decided they'd just screw over the unlucky few who actually manage to have one of these snakes sink their teeth into their foot… or arm… all because they don't feel like producing the antivenom anymore."

She _did_ remember reading an article about this a few months ago. Never in a million years had she imagined that it would affect her so directly.

"Some places still have doses of it that they've never needed to use, but most places never carried it to begin with. And the ones that _did_ probably already used it up. Can't buy anymore, and the FDA hasn't approved anyone else to start making it. It's pretty sad."

She felt herself start to shake as the full significance of what he said began to sink in. Coral snakes weren't native to Boston. There was very little chance that any hospital in the area would have kept coral snake antivenom on hand even _before_ companies decided to stop producing it.

_If this snake bites you, that could very well be the end of it. Of everything._

He noticed.

"Got you a little scared, huh? Don't shake too much. Don't want to freak him out."

She closed her eyes again.

_Just breathe. Breathe._

Her whole body was shaking. It wasn't enough to jar the snake, but it was enough to make her even more terrified than she already was.

"'Course, that isn't why I killed Bill and C.J. They had nothing to do with the antivenom thing. But I just thought it would be kind of… you know, it'd really just get my _point_ across. About how much I _hate_ those money-hungry bastards. No... theirs was a little more _personal_."

Maura wasn't paying attention.

The snake on her lap had seemed to become a bit more comfortable with its surroundings and had started unwinding itself. It was moving slowly over to her right arm, then curled itself down around her elbow and started traveling up towards her shoulder. Maura squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath.

The young man chuckled.

"You'll be fine."

He looked at his watch.

"You just have to sit there for… oh… about three more hours until office hours are closed and I can sneak you out of here properly."

He grinned up at her.

"Think you can sit still for that long?"


	19. Chapter 19

**I know at this point you'd much rather just read the chapter than read author's notes, so I'll leave you to it =)**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

* * *

"Where's the research lab?" Jane asked an older gentleman as she turned a corner in the science building, trying to keep her voice steady.

"It's back this way. Are you looking for anyone in particular?"

"I'm actually looking for Dr. Maura Isles. She was supposed to be meeting with a few professors here to consult on a case."

He smiled at her.

"Of course. Maura. It was good to see her again after all these years."

"You saw her? She's okay?" Jane pressed urgently.

"Well, I guess it was about an hour ago when I saw her. When she came in to meet with Dr. Reisman. I can show you to his office, if you like."

Jane smiled at him, sighing in relief and finally allowing herself to catch her breath.

"I'd really appreciate that. Thank you so much."

"It's not a problem. Right down this hallway."

He led her down the hall, pausing outside the open door of a large office. He knocked on the doorframe and stepped inside. Jane followed him, her heart plummeting down out of her chest when she saw that Dr. Reisman was alone.

"Where's Dr. Isles?" she asked, willing herself to sound calm.

Dr. Reisman frowned at her and glanced over at the other professor that had escorted Jane into his office.

"I was informed that she had rescheduled her consult for tomorrow. Is everything alright?"

"No, okay, it _isn't_. Colby Martin. He works here?"

The professors both nodded.

"He's a suspect in a _murder_ investigation, and I think…"

"Colby? He wou-"

"Could you just please tell me where to find him? Please? It's urgent."

Dr. Reisman nodded, standing up quickly from his desk.

"Of course. It's down another floor. He'd either be in the labs or in his office. I can show you-"

She was already out the door, punching the down button on the elevator.

_Don't you touch her, you scumbag. Don't you lay a fucking _finger_ on her or I'll make you _wish_ a snake had killed you._

_I'm coming, Maura._

* * *

"I think he likes you," the young man laughed, watching in amusement as the snake traveled down across the front of Maura's shirt and came back to rest in a coil on her lap.

She was trying desperately not to cry, not to scare it, but she could feel the heat from her tears as they rolled down her cheeks and caught on the duct tape covering her mouth. She inhaled sharply, realizing that she had been holding her breath again, then froze in terror when the snake picked its head up and stared at her.

She heard a noise from the hallway outside of the office and her eyes darted to the window in the door. Her captor responded with a light shake of his head.

"I wouldn't get too excited about it. Nobody ever comes down here. And they certainly never come down here to talk to _me_."

He heard another noise, then decided he should actually go take a look for himself. The lights for the elevator were on, and he could see the doors opening. A tall, dark-haired, angry looking woman got out and headed off down the hallway in the other direction. She had a gun in her hand. He glared over at Maura.

"That your friend?" he asked her.

She didn't move. It was less an act of defiance and more just that she was too afraid of jarring the snake. But he took it as defiance.

"Don't you screw around with me. I could knock any one of these antiques off the shelf here and it would scare that snake enough to bite. You understand?"

She nodded carefully. Slowly.

"Is. That. Your. Friend?"

She nodded again.

"A cop?"

Another nod.

He shook his head.

"_Shit._ Okay. No, it's fine. It's fine," he tried to reassure himself quietly.

He stood motionless for a few seconds, trying to think of a plan. Then he appeared to have an idea, and he moved over to crouch down next to Maura's stool so that he was hidden between the counter underneath his shelving unit and the front of his desk. He propped the end of his gun up on the edge of the countertop, aimed it at the door, and waited. Maura's breath hitched as she realized that he'd be completely obscured from Jane's view when she entered the room.

_She'll see me first. She won't be able to see him. She'll just see me._

Maura looked around for something, anything to spark an idea. She couldn't move, but she couldn't just sit back and watch this man shoot Jane. She wouldn't. She would think of something.

* * *

"Maura!" Jane called out, her voice echoing off the walls of the hallways.

"Maura, can you hear me?"

She knew she sounded panicked. She _was_ panicked. She had to find her.

"Maura!"

She peeked in every lab window, every door. Maura wasn't here. The detective jogged back over to the elevators.

_She must be on the other side of the building._

There was a light on just down the hall. She tightened her grip on her gun and headed straight for it. Jane carefully snuck up outside and looked in the window to see a group of students hovering around an open lab manual and a microscope.

Not here.

She went down another hallway and saw the nameplate.

Colby Martin, Lab Technician.

The lights were off. But she knew he was in there. He had to be. _And if he hurt Maura…_

* * *

She could see Jane making her way down the hall towards the room where she was being kept. But there was no way to warn her. No way to call out and tell her that he was still in there. That he had a gun. That he was going to shoot her.

The detective must have found what she was looking for, because she raised her gun and started moving directly towards the door to the office. And Maura looked down to see her captor tightening his grip on his gun to be at the ready. The trajectory was perfect.

_If he's even a halfway decent shot, that bullet will plant itself right in Jane's chest,_ Maura thought to herself with horror.

_You've got to do something. You've got to stop this._

And then it occurred to her.

Then she knew.

The reason why she'd been having nightmares.

It wasn't because she was afraid of death or of dying. She looked death in the eye _every day_. It wasn't because she was afraid that Jane didn't _love_ her. It wasn't even because she was afraid that Jane would _leave _her.

But at that moment, she realized the significance of those dreams. Because _in every single one_ of those nightmares, she had _accepted_ it. She had accepted her fate. She had sat back and let herself be shot, or stabbed, or abandoned. She had sat by and watched Jane die _to protect her._ And she knew that Jane would never stop risking her life to protect the people that she cared about. It was a part of who Jane was. But she also knew that, this time, she _wasn't_ going to sit on the sidelines and _wait_ to see what would happen. She _wasn't_ just going to sit back and _let_ someone hurt Jane. She _loved_ Jane.

This wasn't one of her nightmares. This was real. This time, she could choose. And she knew that Jane would never forgive her, but she _wouldn't _choose to sit still. Not this time.

_I'm sorry, Jane, but it's _my_ turn. To protect _you.

Maura glanced down for one last look at the snake, then she turned her head to look at the man with the gun, and she shifted all of her body weight, tipping the stool over until she felt herself falling. When she landed on top of her captor, her first thought was that the impact hurt more than the snakebite did. It had jarred the spikes through her hands and knees enough to send enormous jolts of pain shooting through her body, but not enough for them to be pulled from their positions. It had also jarred her captor enough that his gun had been knocked from his hand and slid across the floor towards the door where Jane was about to enter.

Her vision was starting to darken and she couldn't see clearly, most likely from the pain, as not enough time had yet passed for the neurotoxin to act, but she saw enough to know that her captor was crawling behind his desk and sneaking out the back exit to the lab. She didn't much care where he went, as long as it was away from her, and as long as it was away from Jane.

"Maura?"

She knew it was Jane speaking, but her voice sounded funny. Warped. _Probably because you're in so much pain, you can't even _hear_ properly, _she thought as she felt the snake sink its fangs into her for a second time.

A gunshot rang out and the snake stopped moving. Then Jane was next to her, pulling the tape off of her mouth. But her voice… it still sounded so strange.

_What are you saying to me?_ she thought, trying to concentrate on the sounds coming out of Jane's mouth. _They don't sound like words._

"You're okay, Jane," she whispered with a smile.

And then she closed her eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay, guys, here's chapter twenty. The next chapter after this is almost done, but then it might actually be the weekend until I can get another one finished. Got those pesky classes and stuff to deal with during the week lol =P But I promise I'm still working hard! As always, your reviews are much appreciated! Thank you!**

* * *

As the detective got closer to the door, she caught a glimpse of her through the window. Just a glimpse. And her mouth immediately went dry as she felt herself gasp at the sight.

The blood.

_Maura._

She saw Maura look up, looking right at her but not really seeing her. Then she saw her glance down at something on the floor next to her before throwing her weight off the stool and onto the ground. And that's when Jane noticed the snake, as it fell through the air with its mouth latched tightly onto Maura's arm.

She felt a muffled scream escape her throat as she grasped the doorknob and flung it open, noticing Colby Martin escaping through a back door into the lab but she couldn't worry about that now because _Maura_.

"Maura?"

She felt the name coming out of her mouth but it didn't sound like her own voice. It was as if the word itself choked her, stealing her breath as she raised up her gun to fire a shot into the snake that still seemed to have its mouth attached to Maura's body.

She rushed to Maura's side, carefully peeling the duct tape from her mouth.

Jane could feel her mouth moving and her vocal cords straining to produce some strange, guttural sounds, but she couldn't stop them from coming out.

She wanted to touch her, to help her, _to save her_ but she didn't know what to do.

Maura looked up at her. She was smiling.

"You're okay, Jane," the medical examiner whispered to her before shutting her eyes.

"No, God, _no_, Maura, _wake up_," Jane pleaded, gently reaching over to run her thumbs across Maura's cheeks.

"Zygomatic bone," Maura murmured.

_Calm down, Jane. You've got to calm down so you can help her. Breathe. Be quiet. Listen._

"Maura," she said, her voice cracking with her efforts to stay calm, "I need you to tell me if it's okay to move you. I need to get you out of here. Do you understand?"

Maura nodded. She began speaking softly, her words punctuated by grimaces as waves of pain rushed over her.

"Been bitten by… an eastern coral snake. Micrurus fulvius. Can't walk… quadriceps femoris tendon… and my _hands_, Jane…"

A sob escaped her lips as she mentioned her hands. Her livelihood. They were useless now.

"I know, Maura, I know. We'll fix them. You'll be alright, Maura. It'll be okay."

She brushed Maura's hair back behind her ears.

"I need to pick you up. Okay? I need to get you out of here."

The medical examiner closed her eyes and nodded.

"Don't remove the spikes… May cause more bleeding."

"Okay. Okay. Here we go, we're going."

She gently reached under Maura's knees and took them over her arm. Then she carefully cupped Maura's head in her other arm and struggled to get to her feet, nearly faltering at the cry of pain that escaped Maura's mouth when she moved her.

"Jane!"

Frost came sprinting down the hallway, covering his mouth and turning his head at the sight.

"Oh, God, Jane…"

"Frost, I need you to call the hospital. Tell them she's been bitten by a coral snake. She'll need antivenom. I'm getting her out of here."

He nodded, pulling out his phone with one hand and rushing over to place the other under Maura's back to help Jane carry her.

"Follow me, Jane. To the car," Frost instructed as they got on the elevator.

She heard Frost speaking into his phone but she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.

_Maura. Oh, God. Maura._

"Maura, are you still with me? You still awake?"

The ME nodded, her eyes closed. She turned up the corners of her lips in a small smile.

"Still here."

Jane just stared down at her as the elevator took them up to the next floor. _Still here._

"Jane."

"What is it, Maura?"

"Jane. Coral snake bites aren't typically fatal because… they need to latch onto their prey to dispense adequate venom… people detach them before fatal amounts are released."

"See, it's okay. It's fine. You're fine."

"_No_, Jane. I couldn't move… couldn't get it off… couldn't detach it either time. _Two_ distinct bites. I'd suspect… full envenomation from each."

The detective felt her heart sink even lower.

"You… it got you _twice_? No, no. It's okay. We're getting you to the hospital. You'll be fine."

Maura shook her head.

"With mild envenomation… symptoms can be delayed for 10-12 hours… one bite could cause symptoms of respiratory paralysis after only… 1-3 hours if enough venom was dispensed… _one_ bite, Jane."

"We're taking you to the hospital _right now,_ Maura. Right now. You'll get the antivenom. You'll be fine. It's fine."

Maura shook her head again.

"No antivenin, Jane."

Jane frowned at her.

"What do you mean? Of course you need antivenom. Frost?"

She looked over at her partner and noticed his eyes were red and watery as he hung up his phone. He ran a hand down over his face, avoiding looking at Maura. His hands were shaking.

He shook his head.

"Let's just get her to the car, Jane. Come on, it's this way."

She tried to ignore it, but the pit in her stomach was growing deeper as she kept her eyes trained on Maura. She looked so small, so tired. She followed Frost down the hallway, out into the parking lot and over towards the car.

They carefully slid Maura's legs into the backseat, then Jane followed her in, supporting Maura's torso by cradling it across her own.

"Did you tell them, Frost? The hospital? _Coral_ snake."

He glanced down at Maura, then looked quickly away again.

"They said, um…" his voice was shaking. Why was his _voice_ shaking so damn much?

"_Frost._"

"They don't have any, Jane. They don't keep any. Coral snakes aren't native to Massachusetts."

"Wha- what?" she choked out the word, not even sure if it _was_ a word. "Of course… of course they _have_ it. They're a _hospital_ for Christ's sake. We need to _go_, come on."

She sniffed. She wouldn't cry. She didn't have time to cry. She needed to help Maura.

Why was Frost crying?

"_Frost._"

She was begging him. Begging him to change what he had just said. It was a mistake. It had to be.

He climbed into the front seat, wiping his eyes and starting the engine. That's when another group of police cars flew into the parking lot.

"Two seconds, Jane!" he told her as he jumped out to speak with Korsak.

He ran over and said something that made the Sergeant's face pale, then Korsak nodded frantically and sped off with lights and sirens blaring. Frost came back over, shifted the car into gear and took off in the other direction. Towards the hospital.

"Frost," she whispered.

She tried to fight off the tears but…

"Lacrimal gland," Maura whispered as Jane's tears began to drip down onto her face.

"I'm sorry," Jane said, reaching down to wipe them off of her cheeks.

Maura smiled.

"Your amygdala and your lacrimal gland… have a connection you can't really control."

Jane squeezed her more tightly, leaning down and planting a kiss to her forehead.

"It's going to be okay, Maura. I'm going to fix this."


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, this is the last chapter that I have finished for now. I'm working on the next one but it might not be done until the weekend. Sorry =/ But, as always, thank you so much for reading and for reviewing! Your reviews have all been so encouraging, and they mean so much! Thank you!**

* * *

"You're going to be fine, Maura. We'll be at the hospital soon, okay? You're going to be fine."

She wasn't really saying it to Maura. She was chanting it, trying to calm herself.

"Jane," Maura whispered, opening her eyes to look up at the detective.

Jane sniffed, reaching a hand up to wipe her own eyes.

"Jane, there is no antivenin."

"Stop it, Maura. Yes, there is."

The medical examiner shook her head, her own eyes beginning to fill with tears again at the sight of her friend's desperation. Jane stared down at her, shaking her head decisively.

"Maura, just please. No. They're a _hospital_, okay? It's going to be fine. You're going to be fine."

She looked down at Maura's face and she _knew_. But she couldn't accept that. She _wouldn't_.

"No. No, no, no. Maura, you can't."

She heard Frost sniffling from the driver's seat and looked up to see tears running down his cheeks, too.

"Stop it, Frost! Stop crying! Drive!" she tried to yell as her breath hitched and tears cascaded down her cheeks.

She felt the car accelerate.

"Jane, I'm so sorry," Maura whispered.

"Why are you apologizing, Maura? Why? It should be _me_. I never should have let you go in there. I should have _known _it was him_._ I should have been there to _protect_ you."

She leaned over to rest her forehead on the top of Maura's, placed a kiss into her hair and then straightened back up again to look down into her eyes.

"I can't let this happen to you, Maura. We'll fix it, okay? We will."

The detective's heart stopped beating for a moment as a strange expression crossed Maura's face.

"I'm going to be sick, Jane," she said urgently, doing her best to lean away from her friend.

Jane held her up as she vomited onto the floor of the car, holding back her hair and trying to ignore what she was seeing.

_Emetic episode, _she remembered with a shiver.

Jane used her sleeve to wipe Maura's mouth as the medical examiner allowed herself to fall back into Jane's arms and be cradled against her chest.

"Hurry up, Frost," Jane whispered, her voice nearly failing her.

"We're almost there, Maura. We're so close. It's going to be okay. We're almost there."

Maura responded by nuzzling herself up against Jane's collarbone, her whole body shaking. Jane pulled her in closer, trying to warm her or comfort her or do _something_. Anything.

"Maura," she whispered, allowing herself the small victory of a smile when Maura's eyes opened to peer up at her.

She watched as Maura struggled to smile back at her, the shuddering of her body making it difficult to accomplish. But she did. And she smiled up at her with those beautiful eyes that had loved Jane since the day they met.

"I love you, Jane," Maura whispered. "I love you so much."

Jane smiled.

"Maura, I want you to listen to me. Nod if you understand."

Maura nodded.

"I'll _tell_ you, Maura. I'll tell you _right now_…"

She leaned over and brushed her lips gently against the far corner of Maura's, letting them rest there for a moment before straightening herself up and returning her gaze back down into Maura's eyes, now reflecting a heartbreaking mixture of affection and despair.

"…But I need you to stay with me so I can _show _you. _Please_."

Maura closed her eyes as a sad smile crossed her face.

"Tell me what, Jane?" she whispered.

"You _know_, Maura. You have to know."

Maura shook her head, and Jane took a deep, raspy breath before speaking.

"I love you, Maura. And I'm so sorry I let this happen to you. But _I love you_. And this wasn't how I wanted to tell you. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Please… _please_ let me have another chance to tell you again."

She leaned over to plant a kiss on the top of Maura's head, but Maura winced and she pulled back quickly to find out what was wrong.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry," she stammered.

Maura looked up at her and shook her head.

"Not you… just hurts," she replied, struggling to form the words.

Jane immediately noticed her difficulty in speaking.

"What's wrong, Maura? Can you breathe?"

"Tongue," Maura replied softly.

"Is it swollen? Can you breathe okay?"

She nodded.

"Can breathe," the medical examiner whispered.

"What can I do, Maura? What can I do to help you?"

The detective was desperate. She felt so helpless. Maura shook her head.

"Just be here."

"I'm not going anywhere, Maura. I'm right here."

Maura smiled, closing her eyes again.

"I know."

Jane wanted to pull her in closer but she was afraid of hurting her, so she gently ran one hand up and down Maura's arm as she used the other to support her weight.

"The bite… I thought it wouldn't hurt," Maura said softly, her face scrunched up in a muted form of confusion.

Jane didn't know how to respond.

"Bites from snakes with neurotoxic venom… usually aren't as painful. It's weird…" she trailed off, not finishing her sentence.

Jane began to get worried after a few seconds, then Maura sighed softly and continued.

"It's numb… can't feel it… yet it _hurts_… everywhere," she added with a wince.

Jane looked over to Maura's arm, trying to see one of the bites. She could see the marks from the fangs, but they looked so innocent. They were just little tiny holes. Little holes in her skin that could… _No_. She wouldn't finish the thought.

"Maura?" she whispered. "You still okay?"

Maura didn't open her eyes this time as she nodded, almost imperceptibly.

"Tired," she breathed, so softly that Jane could barely hear it.

"We're here, Jane," Frost said urgently, turning the car sharply and slamming it into park as he pulled up into the emergency entrance of the hospital.

"We're here, Maura. We made it."

She slid out of the car, Frost placing his hands underneath of Maura to help carry her over to where the nurses were waiting with a gurney. They gently laid her down on top of it, Jane keeping her hand on Maura's back as they wheeled her inside.

As they moved through the entrance, Jane could tell that something was wrong. Maura's breath was catching in her chest and she was wheezing. She couldn't seem to take a deep enough breath.

"What's happening? She can't breathe- someone help her!" Jane shouted at the nurses as they kept pushing the gurney.

"We need to get her on a respirator," one of the nurses said, increasing their pace.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll need to wait here."

"No!" she tried to yell, but the sound didn't come out.

She tried to run after them, but Frost held her back.

"Let them do their jobs, Jane," he told her, struggling to keep her from sprinting down the hall.

"I can't leave her, Frost," she pleaded. "I couldn't save her. They _have_ to."

Frost pulled her tightly against himself, knowing that he couldn't say anything to change her mind. She would never forgive herself if Maura… He shook his head.

"I know, Jane."


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry I made you wait for this one! Should be getting out a couple more chapters this weekend, so be on the lookout! Again, many many thanks for reading and for reviewing. I love the feedback, it makes me smile =) Now, back to the story!**

* * *

"Jane! _Janie!"_

Angela pulled the detective from Frost's grip and wrapped her up in her arms, holding her daughter as tears fell from both of their eyes.

"Oh, Janie… sweetheart."

Jane sniffed, still holding back. She needed to pull herself together. She couldn't help Maura if she couldn't pull herself together.

"It's my fault, Ma," she whispered, "I let him get to her. I should've been there."

"No, Jane. It isn't your fault. She was doing her job just like you were doing yours. Sweetheart, it isn't your fault."

A doctor came back from the hallway where they had just taken Maura, and Jane was on him in an instant, pressing him for answers.

"Is she okay, doctor? Is she… is she breathing? Is she going to be okay?"

The doctor glanced down at the badge on her belt, then back up and gave a small nod.

"We've placed her on a respirator to keep her breathing regulated. Her circulation has seemed to be unaffected by the neurotoxin at this point, but based on her reaction so far, I would estimate that she's been exposed to a substantial amount of venom from the bites. We can expect to start seeing circulatory deficits in the near future. We're preparing to take her into surgery as soon as possible to remove and repair the damage from the foreign objects in her hands and knees, but we can't do that until we've got the neurotoxin under control."

"So… what about the antivenom, then? Did you give it to her already?"

The doctor nervously looked over at Frost and then at Angela, then finally back to Jane.

"Our facility does not currently have access to micrurus fulvius antivenin, as coral snakes are not commonly seen in this area. We-"

"Well then you need to _get _access to it!" Jane growled, "She _needs_ it!"

Angela put her hand on Jane's arm, preventing her from taking an intimidating step towards the doctor.

"We've contacted several other hospitals in the surrounding area. I'm sorry, but Massachusetts does not have a general need for this type of antivenin. We're doing all that we can to find another facility that could provide us with their supply, but so far we have not found anything local. We may be able to get some in from southern states where the coral snake is more common, but that would take time. I assure you, we are still looking."

"Look _harder_!" Jane said, pointing her finger inches from his face, then dropping her arm and allowing her face to soften when she realized that she'd frightened him.

"I'm sorry. I'm… just please. _Please_ don't let her… just _help_ her."

"We are truly doing everything that we can."

With a polite nod, he headed back off down the hallway.

_Maura. Please don't…_

She couldn't bring herself to say the word. She couldn't let herself think it. It couldn't happen. It wasn't a possibility.

Then something else occurred to her.

"Wait! Doctor!" she called down the hall.

He turned around and came back towards her.

"Is she awake? Is she conscious?"

"She's been… in and out of it, I think. It's hard to tell. The neurotoxin disrupts the way that her cells are communicating, which means that different parts of her body just don't respond to the messages that her brain sends them. It's difficult to tell when she's unconscious and when she's simply not moving."

Jane nodded slowly, taking in his words.

"If she wakes up… if she opens her eyes, could you just tell her that I'm here? That I didn't leave? And I _won't_. I won't leave her."

The doctor nodded, then lowered his eyebrows as he made a connection.

"Are you Jane?"

_How does he-?_

"Yes. I'm Jane. Why?"

"She was asking for you. She-"

"Can I go in and see her?"

The doctor shook his head and held up his hand as if to stop her, even though she hadn't made a move yet.

"I'm sorry, I can't allow that. Her condition is too unstable."

His face softened, and then he added,

"But if she looks for you again, I will tell her that you're still out here."

It wasn't enough, but Jane knew that it was all she would get.

"Thank you, doctor."

As the doctor headed back down the hall, Jane turned to her mother.

"What should I _do_, Ma? There's got to be something I should be _doing,_" she asked desperately.

"I don't know, Janie. I wish I knew."

Frost lowered his head as a thought occurred to him.

"Maybe you should call her mother."

Jane closed her eyes, nodding slowly.

"Right. Of course. I'm sure Constance will want to come see her."

Frost couldn't bring himself to say anything more, so he just nodded. Jane pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Hello? Jane?" Constance Isles answered.

Jane felt her mouth go dry, her mind blanking. She didn't know what to tell Maura's mother. She didn't even know what she should be telling _herself_. Frost saw the look of panic on her face and swiftly took the phone.

"Hello, Mrs. Isles?" he questioned.

"This is Constance Isles. May I ask who's calling, please?"

Frost cleared his throat.

"Yes, of course. This is Detective Frost from Boston PD. Detective Rizzoli asked me to call you about-"

"Is it Maura? Is she alright?"

Jane motioned for Frost to hand the phone back to her. He obliged.

"Constance," Jane said softly.

The other end was quiet for a moment as Maura's mother registered the emotion in Jane's voice.

"Oh, Jane, please tell me she isn't…"

"She's at the hospital. She was… she's been…"

Jane took a deep breath.

"A suspect held her hostage. She's in… pretty rough shape," Jane swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to hold it together while she spoke on the phone.

"I'll be on the next plane. Can you tell her that I'm on my way?"

"She… was bitten by a coral snake. I can't get in to see her."

Silence on the other end. Then a quiet reply.

"Has the proper antivenin been administered?"

"They don't… they said they don't _have_…" Jane's voice trailed off as she fought to keep herself sounding calm.

"Oh, God… I'll be there as soon as I can. Jane, please… stay with her."

"I'm not going anywhere."

As she hung up the phone, she noticed a few nurses running down the hall towards Maura's room. When they ran by her, she tried to listen in to their conversation.

"… unresponsive…"

"… her blood pressure… dropping fast…"

Jane's stomach lurched and her heart felt as if it had stopped beating. She turned to run down the hall after them, but was stopped by two strong arms wrapping around her.

"Janie," Frankie whispered, turning her around and squeezing her tightly against himself. Over his shoulder she spotted Korsak, running to the first nurse he saw and handing them a white paper bag. He was telling her something, but Jane couldn't make out what it was.

The nurse took off down the hallway where they had taken Maura, and Korsak jogged over to join Frost, Frankie, Angela and Jane.

"I got it, Frost," he said, huffing and puffing from his race through the hospital.

Frost sighed in relief, bending over to rest his hands on his knees.

"What? What happened?" Jane asked frantically, pulling out of Frankie's grasp.

"The zoo, Jane, where I used to volunteer. They have a reptile exhibit with a bunch of snakes. Used to have a coral snake until a couple of years ago. They kept antivenin in case any of the handlers ever got bit."

He sighed, shaking his head.

"They never needed to use it. _I got it_."

"_You got it?_" Jane breathed.

He nodded, smiling up at her.

"I got it, Jane."

She wrapped her arms around Korsak's neck and felt the relief washing over her.

"How is it that you _always_ manage to save me, Vince?" she whispered.

He smiled.

"You're my _family_, Jane. And Dr. Isles, too."

"Excuse me, detectives," a second doctor said as she approached them.

Jane turned and took a step forward, placing herself at the front of the group.

"Is she okay? Did you give it to her?"

"We're working on stabilizing her at the moment, and then the antivenin will be administered incrementally. After that, we'll need to get her into surgery."

"But she's… she's going to be alright?"

"Fortunately, the neurotoxin has not yet caused full paralysis of any of her autonomic processes. She's been breathing through a ventilator due to the respiratory distress that she was experiencing when you brought her in, and her circulation is a bit unstable at the moment, but we're optimistic that she'll be stable enough for surgery in a few hours, after we've administered the antivenin."

Jane exhaled slowly, feeling Frankie wrap his arms around her and pull her back in for another embrace.

"Her injuries are severe. Surgery is likely going to take a number of hours to complete, but the effects of the neurotoxin are still our biggest concern at this point. As I said, we're optimistic that we can counter the neurotoxin with the amount of antivenin that you were able to provide, and we've also managed to contact a facility in Florida that is willing to send us some of their supply in case the need arises. She certainly isn't out of the woods, but that antivenin has significantly increased the extent to which we can help her at this facility. I'll notify you when she's being moved to surgery, or if her condition changes."

"Thank you, doctor," Korsak said as she headed back down the hall.

"She's going to be fine, Janie," Frankie said, holding his sister as she finally allowed herself to break down completely in his arms. "She's going to be okay."


	23. Chapter 23

**Okay... this one is finished, too. And I was too excited to hold off on it, so here you go! =)**

* * *

"Excuse me, ma'am?"

Jane looked up sharply as the doctor whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping friends and family that were spread out across the waiting room, most of whom belonged to the Rizzoli clan. She got up and followed him a few steps down the hallway so that he could speak at a more normal volume.

"I wanted to introduce myself," he said, extending his hand. "I'm Dr. Kendrick. I'll be communicating with you regarding Dr. Isles's status as she moves into surgery."

Jane shook his hand, then proceeded to bombard him with questions.

"Did the antivenom work? Is she awake?"

Dr. Kendrick smiled gently at her.

"The antivenin has been very effective at helping us to stabilize her breathing and heart rate. We still have her hooked up to the ventilator, but that's mainly just as a precaution while we wait to ensure that we've administered the proper amount of antivenin. We'll be moving her to surgery in just a few minutes."

Jane sighed.

"That's really good, right? That's a good sign?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"It is a very good sign. She appears to be stable enough that we are very optimistic about the outcome of this surgery. It was already necessary for us to remove the spikes from her hands and knees so that we could properly administer the antivenin and monitor its effects, but there is a lot of severe damage to the nerves and tendons. The surgery itself will take quite a few hours, but I assure you that she is in good hands. And she is conscious for the moment, although extremely exhausted."

Jane was exhausted, too, but she couldn't allow herself to relax until she knew that Maura was going to be okay. Until she saw her for herself.

"Detective… I can let you in to see her for a minute. Only a minute, before we move her."

Jane's eyes lit up as she grabbed the doctor's hand to shake it again.

"Thank you so much, I-"

He held his hand up to silence her.

"I need you to understand, before I take you in. In addition to the severity of her injuries, she's hooked up to a lot of different instruments right now, and some people find that to be very upsetting. It's very important that _you_ remain calm when you see her, so that _she_ will remain calm, assuming she is still awake. Do you understand?"

She nodded frantically.

"Yes, yes. I just need to see her. Please."

He nodded and motioned for her to follow him down the hallway. Her heart was pounding. For a brief moment, she considered whether she should wake anyone else. But then she was standing outside of Maura's room, peeking in through the open door and trying to keep herself from crying again.

She looked so _small_. She looked so _tired_. But worse… she looked so _alone_.

Jane looked at the doctor one more time, waiting for his official permission to enter, then made her way slowly in when he gave her a nod.

"Maura?" she whispered.

She knew the medical examiner wouldn't be able to respond while she was hooked up to the ventilator, but if Maura was awake, she just wanted her to know that she was _here_.

The detective smiled, relief flooding her chest, when those hazel eyes flicked open and landed on her.

"I'm here, Maura," she said, walking over and placing her hand gently onto Maura's shoulder.

"They said you're going to be okay. Just need to get you into surgery so they can get you all patched up."

Maura didn't even bother to look at the doctors and nurses who were slowly making their way into the room. Her eyes were glued to Jane's. And Jane was sure that they were smiling, beaming up at her. Jane was also sure that hers were beaming right back.

"I can only stay for a minute, but I just wanted to come in and see you. I just wanted to tell you that I'm still here, and I'm not leaving. I'll be right outside the whole time."

She paused, and let a small chuckle escape her throat as she leaned down to whisper conspiratorially,

"You know that line out there that says 'Authorized personnel only beyond this point'? I'll be standing right on top of it."

She grinned, then stood back up and looked around the room as the staff prepared to move Maura. Knowing her time was almost up, she reached over and gently cupped the side of Maura's jaw with the palm of her hand, letting herself relax a little at the soft touch of her warm skin. She noticed Maura close her eyes as she ran her thumb across her cheek, then watched them slowly open again when she reluctantly pulled her hand away.

Jane smiled and leaned back down to whisper,

"_Zygomatic bone_."

"It's time, detective," Dr. Kendrick said quietly from the doorway.

Jane looked over at him and nodded, then returned her gaze to Maura one more time.

"I'll see you soon," she said with a smile, feeling her eyes start to tear up against her will.

She paused then added in a whisper, "And, P.S… I still love you."

As she felt a nurse's hand gently touching her elbow, telling her to leave, she leaned over and planted a soft kiss to Maura's temple. Then she allowed herself to be escorted out of the room, keeping her eyes locked on Maura's as she went. With a final, silent wave of her hand, she watched as they wheeled the medical examiner off down the hall. Then she promptly followed them and took a seat on top of a bright, red line, right next to the sign that said 'Authorized personnel only beyond this point.'

* * *

"Think we should wake her?" Frankie asked as he pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture of the sleeping Jane, a smirk on his face.

Frost raised up his hands defensively and took a step back.

"I don't want to be around when she finds out you took that picture."

"She already knows," Jane grumbled up at them from where she was seated on the floor.

Frankie nearly dropped his phone when she spoke, causing a chuckle from Frost.

"You… you _let_ me take the picture?" Frankie asked, confused.

She glared up at him.

"No, I was _asleep_ when you took the picture. I _woke up_ when you forgot how to use your _inside voice_," she remarked, cocking an eyebrow at her little brother.

"Well, Janie… you really shouldn't have been sleeping down here anyway. It's probably… I don't know… a _hazard_," her brother said, motioning to the doors that she had been sleeping in front of, with her head propped up against the wall by the door frame.

She shrugged.

"I told Maura I was going to wait right here."

Then she had another thought.

"Actually, I told her I was going to _stand_ right here, but I was too damn tired to stand up all night."

"I don't think she'll mind," Frost said quietly, smiling cautiously down at her.

She smiled back up at him.

"Thanks, Frost."

"You want some coffee, sweetheart?" Angela chimed from down the hallway, balancing three steaming cups.

"Sure, Ma. Thanks."

Angela bent down to deliver a kiss to the top of Jane's head, then handed out coffees to the three detectives.

"Did I miss anything while I was out?" Jane asked as she took the first sip.

Mama Rizzoli shook her head.

"A few of the nurses wanted to wake you up and move you somewhere else, but that Dr. Kendrick told them to let you sleep."

Jane quickly rose to her feet.

"When was he out here? Does that mean she's out of surgery?"

"I'm not sure, Janie. He was out here a few minutes ago and went back in. But she's been in there for _hours_, sweetheart. I'm sure it'll be soon."

As the doors swung open behind her, Jane hopped out of the way so that she wouldn't get hit. Then she turned around to see Dr. Kendrick with a tired smile on his face.

"Good morning, detective," he said, extending his hand.

She shook it, not breaking eye contact and holding her breath as she waited for news.

"The surgery went very well. We were able to successfully repair and reattach the tendons that were damaged by her injuries. As you'll see, she has protective splints on both hands and braces on both knees. This will help to keep the area immobilized so that she doesn't damage them further, and once the swelling goes down, we can start her on physical therapy."

"Can we see her now, doctor?" Angela asked quietly.

He nodded.

"She's asleep at the moment, and she'll be on a lot of pain medication when she wakes up. I'd recommend only one or two of you go in at a time, at least until she's fully conscious, so you don't disturb her."

Frankie and Frost exchanged glances, then Frost spoke up.

"You know, Frankie and I should probably get back to headquarters anyway. To see if they've found anything on Colby Martin yet."

Jane's eyes darkened at the mention of his name.

"You mean they didn't catch him?" she asked softly.

Frost shook his head nervously.

"We're working on it, Jane. Dr. Isles's safety was our first priority."

"I know, Frost. I know. It's just… we need to find him. _I_ need to find him."

"We'll get him, Janie. Don't worry," Frankie said, pulling her into a hug before heading off with Frost.

"And make sure you call us when she wakes up!" he added as they walked out the door.

"Are you ready to go see her?" Dr. Kendrick asked Angela and Jane.

Jane nodded.

"More than ready."


	24. Chapter 24

**So I know this is three chapters in one day but I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.**

**Enjoy! And I love you all so much for reading, your reviews make me so happy =)**

* * *

"Oh, Janie…" Angela whispered, reaching up to place her hand over mouth at the sight before her.

Jane put her arm around her mother's shoulders, trying to keep them both from crying. Even though Maura was alive, even though they knew she was okay, it was still terribly difficult for them to see her in the condition that she was currently in. Her hands were completely covered in gauze and protective splints that reached nearly to her elbows. Her knees looked just as bad, with the bandaging seeming to take up half her legs.

"Is she in any pain?" Jane asked the doctor before he turned to leave.

He shook his head.

"No. Not right now. She'll still be experiencing the effects of the pain medications that she's currently on, probably until about midday. We'll re-evaluate her subjective experience at that point and determine how to adjust her medication."

Jane looked at her watch as the doctor left the room. 7:45 am.

"Geez, Ma. How long was I asleep?" she asked, incredulous.

Angela turned to look at the clock on the wall.

"Well, let me think. It was about 10pm when you woke me to tell me they were taking her into surgery. You were still awake when Korsak left, weren't you?"

She tried to remember, then nodded.

"Yeah, he came over and said goodbye. I was still up."

"That was around two or three in the morning, I think. You maybe got in about four hours? I don't know, sweetheart. The rest of us were sleeping long before you were, that much I remember."

Angela took a seat and motioned for her daughter to sit down in the chair next to her.

"You should probably try to sleep a little bit more now, before she wakes up," Angela suggested.

Jane shook her head, scooting the chair right up next to edge of Maura's bed and resting her forehead against the rails.

"No, Ma. I'm fine. Got plenty of sleep. When she wakes up, I want to make sure _I'm_ awake."

Mama Rizzoli smiled.

"Okay, sweetheart."

* * *

"You're kind of cute when you're snoring," someone chuckled.

Jane's eyes popped open and she sat up quickly, looking up to see Maura laughing at her.

"Hey," she replied with a grin, "I don't snore."

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Ohhhh no. You snore. I think your mommy could probably hear you from down the hall."

"Did you just say… my _mommy_?" Jane asked in confusion.

Maura started to laugh… and then didn't stop.

"Maura?" Jane asked, starting to chuckle a little herself.

"Jane…" Maura tried to talk, but she was still laughing.

Jane shook her head, raising an eyebrow at the medical examiner.

"I think you're a little under the influence there, Dr. Isles," she teased.

Maura sighed deeply as the laughter died down.

"Mmmmmhmmmm," she agreed.

Jane tried to hide her grin, but Maura caught it and frowned at her.

"Why are you laughing at me?" she whined.

"Me? I'm… I'm not laughing at you."

Maura tilted her head and raised her eyebrows.

"Hives, Jane," she chastised, a serious expression on her face.

This just caused Jane to laugh even harder.

"Uh… Maura… I don't _get_ hives from lying. That's _you_."

The medical examiner tilted her head in confusion.

"Only me? You should get hives. Everyone should get hives when they lie. Then no one would lie," she mused.

"That's… aha… that's a good point, Maura," Jane agreed, still trying to stifle her laughter.

"Maura, sweetie! You're awake!" Angela enthused as she entered the room with a couple of sandwiches.

"Ange! Is that for me?" Maura asked, eyeing the food.

Angela exchanged glances with her daughter, then chuckled as she realized what was going on.

"I'm afraid not, sweetheart. Your doctors are going to take good care of you, but Janie and I still have to feed ourselves something," she replied, unwrapping one of the sandwiches and handing it to Jane.

Maura looked disappointed for a moment.

"I _hope_ they take good care of me. Everyone says that doctors make the worst patients, but there's no scientific data to back up that claim," she stated.

Then she lowered her voice to a whisper and looked at Jane.

"But I'm a doctor for dead people. Do you think that still applies?" she asked seriously.

Jane nearly choked on her sandwich as she started laughing again.

"What? I _am_," Maura defended, looking a little hurt.

"I'm sorry, Maura. You're right. And, no, I don't think it applies. You're the perfect patient," Jane said with a smile, reaching up to rub Maura's arm.

"Aw, Jane. That was so sweet. And _you're_ the perfect wife," Maura replied innocently.

Jane felt her cheeks turn bright red and looked over to see her mother trying to hide her smirk.

"Thanks, Maura," she said quietly, hoping the statement would pass before she became any more embarrassed.

"But, I think they stole my wedding ring!" Maura exclaimed, looking down at her hand. "I can't see it past all this gauze on my hand."

Angela cleared her throat and then stood up to leave the room, still chuckling to herself.

"I… uh… I don't think anyone stole it, Maura," Jane fumbled.

"Well then where is it?"

Jane just stared at her, unable to believe how Maura had managed to go from hilarious to awkward in a matter of seconds.

"Maura… you're not married."

The medical examiner looked truly shocked.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're not."

"You're not… my wife?"

Jane smiled, shaking her head gently.

"No, Maura. I'm not your wife."

Maura's cheeks turned pink with embarrassment.

"Oh my God, I'm so…"

A flicker of confusion crossed her face.

"… but I'm pretty sure I love you," she said, almost asking it as a question.

Jane stood up and gently kissed Maura's cheek.

"Pretty sure I love you, too," she said with a grin.

Maura smiled brightly.

"Oh… well, okay," she whispered, gazing intently at Jane as the detective sat back down in her chair, eyes fixed on Maura's.

"I still think you're cute when you snore," she added quietly.

Jane laughed, shaking her head.

"Well, I think you're cute when you're on drugs," she replied with a smirk.

"How are we doing in here, Dr. Isles?" Dr. Kendrick asked as he entered the room with a smile.

She smiled brightly back up at him.

"Just fine, doctor. But Jane thinks I'm on drugs."

He laughed and looked over at Jane, who simply shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"Well, you won't be for much longer. Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?"

Maura shook her head.

"That's great. It sounds like you two are having fun in here, so I'll leave you to it. Just be mindful of your injuries, Dr. Isles. You can't use those tendons or you'll need to come back for more surgery. I'm sure none of us wants to have that," he said with a smile.

"I feel ya, doctor," Maura said with a solemn nod.

"_Oh my God_," Jane whispered under her breath, stifling another fit of laughter.

"I'll be back to check on you in a bit," the doctor said with a chuckle as he left the room.

Maura turned to look back at Jane and noticed that Jane was giving her an incredulous look.

"'_I_ _feel ya_, doctor'? _Really_, Maura?" Jane mocked with a grin.

Maura shook her head, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know why you find that so amusing. People say it all the time," she explained.

"Yeah, people who aren't _you_!" Jane responded with a smile.

The medical examiner paused for a moment, seeming to consider something.

"Am I boring?" Maura asked, the serious expression returned once again to her face.

Jane stopped laughing and reached up to take her arm.

"No, Maura. You're perfect."

Maura blushed, looking away from the detective for a second to compose herself.

"Perfectly exhausted," she deflected, peering coyly back over at Jane out of the corner of her eye.

Jane smiled up at her, feeling the warmth in her chest from the relief of _finally_ seeing with her own eyes, _finally _believing that Maura really was going to be okay. She stood up to give her another kiss on the cheek, then whispered,

"I _meant_ that you're perfect. But go ahead and get some sleep. I'll be right here, and I know you'll still be perfect when you wake up."

She reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Maura's ear, stopping for a moment to rest her hand along the side of Maura's face.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered.

Maura smiled up at her.

"You'll be here?"

Jane nodded.

"I'll be here."


	25. Chapter 25

**I'll try to get another chapter or two up this weekend. Until then, enjoy this one! =)**

**As always, your feedback is much appreciated! Glad you all seem to be enjoying the story as much as I am!**

* * *

"She's still asleep at the moment, but she seems to be doing pretty well. And you guys missed out on the once-in-a-lifetime experience of conversation with drugged-up Maura," Jane whispered into her phone with a chuckle.

"I'm glad to hear she's in good shape," Frankie responded, pausing for a moment before continuing, "and I'm glad it sounds like you're in good shape, too."

Jane turned to look back through the doorway into Maura's room from where she stood in the hallway.

"Yeah, I think I am," she said with a smile at the sight of the sleeping ME. "Anything on Colby Martin yet?"

"Not yet. We're still looking. We've been trying to contact his family in the area. Find out where he might go when he's on the run like this. Nothing so far, though."

"We've got to find him, Frankie."

"I know, Janie. We will. We just need some more time."

Jane shook her head, unbelievably frustrated at the thought that Maura's attacker was still out there on the loose.

"I should go, Frankie. I don't like leaving her in there by herself."

She heard her brother sigh on the other end of the line.

"Okay, Jane. I'll call you if we find anything."

Jane hung up the phone and took a step into Maura's room, making her way over towards the chair that she had been sitting in for the better part of the day. After a few steps, she thought she heard the door closing softly behind her, and she turned to see who else had come into the room. Before she could get a good look, she felt someone slam into her from behind and a hand cover her mouth as she was pulled backwards and then pinned up against the wall of the room. A cell phone was pressed up against her ear, and when she heard the voice on the other end, any fear that she had felt immediately turned to anger.

"I specifically remember telling you to take care of my daughter, detective."

The hand covering Jane's mouth slid down and secured itself against her shoulder, allowing her to speak into the phone. Her response came out as a snarl.

"If you wanted to know how she's doing, Paddy, you could have just _asked_," she whispered angrily.

"I'm not in the mood for pleasantries, Detective Rizzoli."

"Oh, right, because _I'm_ just in a _fantastic_ mood right now. Please, continue sending your goons to hold me hostage in your daughter's _hospital_ room. Meanwhile, the guy who did this to her is _still out there_."

Every passing second of this conversation with pissing Jane off more and more.

_I swear if Maura wakes up because of this…_ she thought, her hands reflexively clenching themselves into fists.

"You might want to watch your tone with me, detective. I'm not exactly pleased with you at the moment."

Jane laughed condescendingly at the implied threat.

"So, _what_ then? You think you can just send one of your guys in here to… _what_? Scare me? Maura is lying in a _hospital_ bed. You want to blame _me_ for not keeping her safe? _You're_ the one who claims to run these streets! Where the hell were _you_?"

She was trying to keep her voice down, but she could feel herself getting louder as the anger continued to rise. Just who the _hell _did he think he was messing with?

"I'm in _prison_. This is on _you_, detective. You were entrusted with Maura's safety, and now you've betrayed that trust."

Jane couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Okay. So what are you going to _do_? Hm? Ram an ice pick through my skull? Send one of your men to whisk Maura away into the night, so she can live in some awful safehouse where she'll never see the light of day? Because I can't be _entrusted_ with her safety anymore?"

"My daughter may not _like_ what I have to do to protect her, but at least I can keep her _alive_," Doyle responded coldly.

Jane lowered her voice into a menacing growl.

"This _is_ my fault. I'll give you that. But _Maura_ has entrusted me with her safety. I'm going to do everything I can to protect her and take care of her. I really don't give a damn whether you like it or not. And if you _really_ want to protect her, you should be out there looking for-"

"Jane?"

Jane looked over to see Maura blinking up at her, eyes wide.

"I'm okay, Maura. It's okay. Go back to sleep."

"Maura's awake?" Paddy questioned.

"Jane, what's going on?" Maura asked, wincing as her pain medication began to wear off.

"It's fine, Maura," Jane tried to reassure her. "Just talking on the phone."

The detective was about to direct her attention back to the phone when she saw Maura's expression darken.

"Who's on the phone, Jane?" she asked.

The detective was silent. She didn't want Maura to have to deal with any of this right now. Before she could answer, she heard the voice of her captor speaking.

"Paddy Doyle."

"Bring me the phone," Maura whispered.

Jane shook her head.

"No, Maura. You do not need to be dealing with this shit right now, okay? Please, just go back to sleep."

"Bring it to me," the medical examiner said, glaring at the man on the other side of the room.

He let go of the detective and began walking over towards Maura, but Jane snatched the phone out of his hand before he could get there.

"You're not getting anywhere near her. _I'll_ hold the damn phone," she growled, pushing him backwards with her free hand.

"You sure you want to do this?" Jane asked Maura quietly.

The medical examiner nodded, and Jane raised the phone up to her ear.

"I'm here," Maura said coldly into the phone.

"Maura, who did this to you?"

"That's not your concern."

"You have to tell me who did this so that I can protect you. Clearly, Detective Rizzoli cannot."

Maura glared across the room at the man who had brought the phone, then glanced up at Jane. The detective was angry, but Maura could see the hurt behind the anger. It occurred to her that Paddy must have blamed Jane for what happened, and she felt her jaw clench as her own anger began to build up in her chest. When she next spoke, it came out as a menacing whisper.

"Don't you _dare_ blame Jane for this. It isn't her fault. I don't _need_ you to protect me. I don't _want_ you to protect me. And don't you ever, _ever_ come near Jane again. Do you hear me? Leave us _alone_."

She nodded to Jane, who hung up the phone and tossed it across the room to Paddy's goon, who threw one last glare at the detective before leaving.

Neither woman said anything for a few minutes after he left, just letting the previous conversation slowly sink in. Finally, Jane broke the silence.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, reaching over to give Maura's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

The medical examiner nodded slowly, looking up at Jane with the anger and frustration of speaking with her biological father still clearly expressed on her face.

"What did he say to you?" Maura whispered, staring up into Jane's eyes.

The detective shook her head.

"It's not important."

"Yes, it is. It's important to me. What did he say?"

Jane sighed.

"We can talk about it later, Maura. You should be resting. Are you in pain? Should I call the doctor?"

"I want to talk about it now, Jane. I need to know."

The detective sighed again, running a hand back through her curls.

"Well…" Jane began, pausing to decide how much to say, "… you heard him. I mean, that was pretty much it. He's just pissed that I let this happen to you. Not that I blame him."

Maura's expression softened as she shook her head. Jane was looking down at the floor now, avoiding her gaze.

"Jane, look at me."

The detective slowly raised her eyes to Maura's. _He has every right to be blaming me,_ she thought to herself. Maura seemed to read her thoughts.

"This is _not_ your fault, Jane. It _isn't_. Don't let him convince you that it is."

Jane shook her head slowly.

"No, Maura. He's absolutely right. The only reason you went to that lab was to get away from _me_. I should never have let you go."

Maura sighed, wanting so badly to be able to reach out and touch Jane. To comfort her. But... she couldn't. It was torturous.

"I need you to listen to me, Jane."

The detective closed her eyes, lowering her head. Waiting.

"You didn't _let_ me go to that lab. I _chose_ to go. It was my choice. And I didn't go there to get away from you. I went because I thought my professors could help with the case. Please don't blame yourself for this. Paddy Doyle is _wrong_. He thinks he can just… _manipulate_ people into doing what he wants. That's what he _does_, Jane. And I'm not going to let him do this to you."

She paused, watching Jane carefully. She could tell that the detective was trying to hold back tears.

"Maura, I don't want you to be worried about this. Let me handle it, okay? You just… worry about getting yourself better. That's all. I can take care of myself."

The detective took a deep breath and looked up at Maura, forcing herself to smile.

"I'm not afraid of Paddy Doyle," she said, giving the medical examiner's arm a gentle squeeze.

"If he comes near you again, then _he'd_ better be afraid of _me_," Maura asserted.

Jane chuckled.

"Right. You can just smack him with your brace," she joked.

Maura tried to laugh, but her smile faltered as she looked down at her broken body, slowly beginning to realize the full extent and implications of her injuries. Jane noticed the change in expression and quickly reached down, gently lifting Maura's shoulder's off the bed to hug her as tightly as possible without hurting her. She just held her for a moment, trying to comfort her as best she could.

"I… I can't even hug you back," Maura muttered helplessly as the tears began to fall.

Jane nuzzled her face into Maura's hair and neck, trying to get as close to her as physically possible.

"It's okay, Maura. You're going to be fine. I'll take care of you."

She felt the medical examiner nodding against her shoulder.

"And I'll take care of _you_. I won't let Paddy do this to you."

Jane pulled back a few inches and smiled, reaching up to wipe the tears from Maura's face.

"See? It'll be fine. We'll just have to take care of each other."

Maura nodded, and Jane leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"We'll get through this, Maura. We'll be okay."


	26. Chapter 26

**I was going to wait until later to post this one but I honestly have no self-control so HERE YOU GO. Hope you enjoy it! I'm very very excited to write the upcoming chapters! Please be sure to leave me your reviews and let me know what you think =) As always, your feedback is appreciated and thank you so much for reading!**

* * *

"Dr. Maura Isles?" the young doctor asked as he poked his head into Maura's room.

The medical examiner nodded, and he walked into the room. He glanced nervously over to where Jane was sitting before he spoke again.

"I have to ask, is it okay to discuss your progress in front of…?" he motioned to the detective, who promptly stood up to offer him her hand.

"Detective Jane Rizzoli," she said with a polite smile.

Maura smiled and gave him a nod.

"Of course, doctor."

"Excellent. I'm Dr. Simmons. Nice to meet you both. Now, Dr. Isles, how are you feeling so far? Has the medication begun to wear off?"

She nodded.

"Subjective pain perception is probably about… 7 for intensity and… 6 for distress."

Jane looked over at Maura, concerned.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in that much pain? I could've gone to get someone."

The medical examiner shrugged, wincing from the pain caused by the movement.

"I knew that someone would be coming by to reassess my pain medications. I didn't want you to be worried about it."

Dr. Simmons made a few notes on his clipboard, then spoke to Maura.

"We'll increase your dosage and reassess in a few hours. I also need to continue monitoring the effects of the antivenin on your system. How is your breathing?"

Maura took a deep breath and then slowly let it out, concentrating on the feel of it.

"Breathing feels mainly unrestricted. Possible decrease of efficiency and capacity as a residual effect of the toxin," she reported.

"And your muscles? Do you feel any numbness or tingling around the bites? Any exceptional muscle fatigue greater than what should be expected as a result of your recent surgery?"

The medical examiner closed her eyes and concentrated, then shook her head as she opened her eyes again.

"Nothing greater than I would anticipate from these injuries."

Dr. Simmons smiled.

"That's excellent. Now, we've never dealt with a coral snake bite at this facility before, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to you, Dr. Isles, but the literature does suggest close monitoring for between 24-36 hours after the bite is sustained. In case symptoms take longer to develop. So, we'll be keeping you overnight and further assessing your condition tomorrow. You'll most likely be able to return home tomorrow, if all goes well. Would you like me to assist you in setting up an at-home caregiver for your recovery period?"

Maura nodded.

"Yes, I think that would be very helpful."

Jane looked over at the ME and shook her head, placing her hand on her shoulder.

"You don't need to do that, Maura. I'll stay with you."

"I'll need a caregiver, Jane. You have to work."

"I can take off work. I have plenty of days I can use. I want to help you."

Maura shook her head, then looked over at the doctor.

"If you could recommend a service for me, I'll give you the okay to get it set up. And do you also have CPMs available for rent?"

He nodded, glancing nervously at the aggravated face of Detective Jane Rizzoli.

"We do. I can set you up with a caregiver from our contracted service, and we'll get you a continuous passive motion machine for use during your recovery. Actually… maybe I'll see about getting you two of them, so that you can use them simultaneously," he said, motioning to her legs.

"Thank you," Maura replied, looking over and noticing Jane's frustration. "Would you excuse us for a moment, please?" she asked the doctor.

"Of course," he smiled, "I'll be back to check on you after dinner."

With the doctor gone, Jane sat back down in her chair and stared at the ground, jaw set in frustration.

"Jane."

The detective raised her eyes to look at Maura, then let out a deep sigh.

"Why won't you let me help you?" she asked, throwing up her arms in exasperation.

"Jane, it has nothing to do with whether or not I want your help," Maura explained.

"Well, _do_ you?" Jane asked, staring her down.

Now it was Maura's turn to sigh.

"The amount of care that I'm going to require is far more advanced than what you would be able to provide. It _needs_ to be done by a professional."

Jane stood up so she could look more evenly into Maura's eyes, noticing that Maura was beginning to sound frustrated, too.

"You didn't answer my question, Maura. Do you even _want_ my help?" she asked slowly.

The medical examiner didn't respond, and Jane's face began to soften as she realized what the blonde was thinking.

"Maura…"

"Of course I don't _want_ help, Jane! I don't want _anyone's_ help! But I won't be able to _do anything_ on my own. _For weeks_, Jane. Do you realize how long it will take me to recover from these injuries? Six to eight weeks, _minimum_. Six to eight weeks of me sitting around the house while someone does _everything_ for me. _Everything_. I can't use my hands. I won't be able to dress myself. To feed myself. To take myself to the _bathroom._ I can't pick things up. I can't even _hug_ you properly. My legs can't support my own weight, and I can't even use _crutches_ because I can't use my _hands_!"

When she realized that she had been slowly raising her voice, Maura immediately closed her mouth and looked away in embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, Jane," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm not angry with you, I just… you don't know what you'd be getting yourself into."

Jane couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"I don't _know_ what I'd be getting myself into? Where do you think the scars on _my _hands came from, Maura? You think I touched a hot stove one too many times?" she snapped sarcastically, holding up her hands for the medical examiner to look at.

"That's not what I meant, Jane," Maura said quietly. "I'm sorry."

The detective sighed and shook her head. She didn't say anything for a few seconds, composing herself when she saw the hurt on Maura's face.

"You don't have to be sorry, Maura. I shouldn't have made you feel guilty for wanting a professional." She paused to take a breath, shrugging her shoulders. "I remember… I remember what it felt like to rely on other people when _my_ hands… but it isn't the same. I shouldn't have assumed. I'm sorry. You're right, and I'm sorry. I didn't think it through. I just… feel so _helpless_."

The medical examiner looked up at her, trying to reassure her with a small smile.

"You're not helpless, Jane. You're wonderful. But… I don't want you to be my _caregiver_. I want you to just be _Jane_. I don't want you to _see_ me… I don't want your life to stop so that you can come sit around and watch me be miserable all day," she replied with a sad smile.

Jane chuckled softly, shaking her head.

"Well, how about a compromise?" she asked, causing Maura to look up at her in confusion.

"What kind of compromise?" the ME asked cautiously.

The detective smiled gently back at her.

"You'll get your caregiver. Their job is to sit around and watch you all day. But you also get _me_."

"And what's your job?" Maura asked softly.

Jane grinned, leaning over to gently kiss the corner of Maura's jawline.

"_My_ job is to make sure that you _aren't_ miserable."

The medical examiner blushed, which caused Jane's grin to grow even more.

"Okay," Maura whispered with a grin of her own. "You're hired."


	27. Chapter 27

**Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and review! It really means a lot. **

**I know it's hard to see Maura with her injuries the way they are, but she'll soon be on the mend =) And I've got a lot of exciting things planned, can't wait to write them! Much love to you all, and I hope you're still enjoying the story!**

* * *

"Rizzoli," Jane said into her phone, keeping her eyes glued to Maura as she spoke.

"Yes. Jane? I'm arriving at the hospital now. How is she?" the panicked voice of Constance Isles sounded from the other end.

Jane smiled over at Maura, mouthing '_It's your mother._'

Maura's eyes widened at the news, and Jane realized that she had forgotten to tell the medical examiner that she had called Constance.

"She's okay. She's… she's actually awake. You said you're here now?"

The detective heard Maura's mother sigh in relief on the other end, and Maura's eyes seemed to somehow get even wider than they had been. '_You called my mother?'_ she mouthed in a mixture of shock and frustration.

"Yes, I'm arriving in the lobby just now."

"I'll come down and get you. Just hang tight for a minute."

When Maura's mother gave her affirmation, the detective hung up the phone and headed towards the door.

"She's _here_?" Maura asked.

Jane just shook her head incredulously.

"Maura, we thought you were… _Yes_. Okay, yes. She is your _mother_, so I called her. She is here. I am going downstairs to get her and we will be back up in two minutes. Okay?"

"Jane-"

Jane flashed her a grin and a thumbs up, then jogged over to the elevator and headed downstairs. When she spotted Maura's mother in the lobby, she greeted her with a quick hug and led her back upstairs to find Maura gazing down in horror at a tray of hospital food.

"Oh, Maura, darling…" Constance said, rushing over and carefully managing to deliver a tiny hug and quick peck to her daughter's cheek.

"When Jane called me, I… well, I'm so glad that you're alright."

Maura smiled at her, nodding slowly.

"I'm very glad that you're here, mother," she said honestly.

Jane chuckled.

"I'm very glad that _I'm_ here to watch you eat that mysterious hospital food. What kind of meat do you think that is?" she joked, peering down at the tray.

Maura looked back down at it and made a face.

"I don't know, but I'm not eating it," she said with a shake of her head.

Jane raised an eyebrow at her.

"Remember what you said earlier about doctors being the worst patients?"

Maura scrunched up her brow in confusion.

"When did I say that?" she asked.

Jane held up her pointer finger as she pretended to be lost in thought.

"Ah, right… that must have been when you were high as a kite. I told you that you'd be the exception to that rule, since you're a doctor for _dead people_, but I guess I was wrong," she said with a grin.

Maura glanced over at her mother for a moment before raising her eyebrows and preparing to defend herself from Jane's teasing.

"You know, Jane, you can't really hold me responsible for anything that I said while I was all… topped up on drugs."

The detective chuckled.

"You mean _hopped_ up? And, it was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen, so yes I can and _will_ hold you responsible for the things that you said. You really _do _need to eat, though, Maura. It's only for one more day, and then you can get back to eating your fancy, _green,_ healthy food."

"Are you going home tomorrow, dear?" Constance asked, surprised.

Maura shot Jane a dirty look, which caused the detective to grin triumphantly, and then she turned to answer her mother.

"I need to stay overnight so that they can continue to monitor the progress of the antivenin in my system, but yes. I was told that, if everything goes well, I should be able to go home tomorrow."

Her mother smiled at her, but the smile faded slowly as she ran her eyes down along Maura's bandaged arms and legs.

"Maura-"

"I'm okay," Maura said quietly, noticing the heartbroken look on her mother's face. "I've had surgery to repair the flexor tendons in both hands and my quadriceps tendons in both knees. I'll need to undergo extensive rehabilitation to restore strength to the tendons, but I'm going to be fine in time."

Constance nodded, trying to hide her concern behind a half-hearted smile.

"I'll stay with you as long as you need me to," she said, patting Maura's arm gently.

Maura shook her head.

"You don't need to do that. I'll have a professional caregiver staying at the house with me while I'm in recovery."

"Maura, darling, I _want_ to stay and make sure that you're okay. I won't interfere with your caregiver, and I won't stay any longer than you want me to. But I would very much like to spend a few days with you. You're my _daughter_. I'm concerned for you."

The medical examiner smiled.

"Of course, mother. I'd love for you to stay. I just don't want you to feel like you _need_ to."

Constance smiled and reached over to gently hold Maura's arm.

"I know I've raised you to care for yourself, and you've become such a strong, independent woman. I'm so very proud of you for who you are. But, Maura, there's no shame in accepting help when you're in need of it. Especially from those who care so deeply for you."

Maura noticed Jane raising her eyebrows from across the room.

"I agree," the detective said quietly, moving over to take a seat next to Constance.

Maura's mother smiled at Jane, reaching over to pat her hand gently.

"Thank you, dear," she said, then turned back towards her daughter. "We care for you, Maura. We only want to help."

The medical examiner smiled over at both of them, looking back and forth between them with a sad smile.

"I know you do. Thank you. _Both_ of you."

Constance smiled, patting her daughter's arm gently and standing up to help her eat the dinner set before her.

"You really should eat, dear," she said, picking up a forkful of food.

She looked over at Jane, who was trying to smirk but was instead nearly falling asleep in her chair. Constance set the fork back down on the tray and walked over to Jane, putting a hand on her shoulder as she leaned down to speak with her.

"Jane, dear, why don't you go home and get some rest? Eat some real food, take a shower, sleep in your own bed. I'll be here to stay with Maura."

Jane shook her head, looking up to see Maura smiling down at her.

"It's okay, Jane," Maura said with a nod. "I'll be fine."

Constance tilted her head at the interaction, noticing an unfamiliar expression on her daughter's face. As she realized what it was, she smiled and excused herself.

"I'll leave you two a moment to say goodnight," she said as she left the room.

When she was gone, Jane looked back to Maura and shook her head.

"I don't want to leave you," she whispered.

"I know," Maura said quietly, "but I want you to go home and get some rest. You've been here for almost 24 hours straight."

"I slept while I was here. I don't need rest."

The medical examiner chuckled.

"Some _real_ rest, Jane. My mother will stay with me. I'll be perfectly fine."

The detective sighed, standing up to place her hand on Maura's shoulder.

"I _really_ don't want to leave you here. I want to stay."

"You said your job is to make sure that I'm not miserable," Maura said with a gentle smile, "but I _will_ be miserable if I have to watch you turn into a skeleton because you won't leave my hospital room."

Jane knew she was fighting a losing battle, so she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay. Alright, I'll go home. _But_ I'm coming back here first thing in the morning. And I'm staying until you leave. _And_ I'm posting a uniform outside your door overnight."

Maura smiled.

"Okay. Deal."

Jane just looked at her for a moment, taking her in. That she was alive. That she was going to be okay. That she was somehow _still_ remarkably beautiful even when half of her body was covered in protective splints. She chuckled.

"What?" Maura asked, wanting in on the joke.

Jane shook her head.

"Nothing. I was just thinking… nothing."

Maura raised her eyebrows expectantly.

The detective smiled back at her.

"I was just wondering how you've managed to still look so beautiful when you're stuck in the hospital like this. Only you, Maura," she chuckled.

The medical examiner looked away for a moment, blushing, then back up with a shy grin.

"You're quite the charmer, detective," she said.

Jane laughed.

"Oh, am I?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Maura nodded, then allowed her facial expression to sober.

"Thank you, Jane. For everything. I wish you could stay… but…"

"I know, I know. _You'll_ be miserable if _I'm_ miserable. I get it," Jane teased, reaching over with both hands to gently hold Maura's face while she delivered a soft kiss to her forehead.

As she pulled back, she paused for a moment just to look into Maura's eyes. She let her own scan slowly down, taking in every inch of Maura's face, and for the first time, she didn't feel the need to pretend that she wasn't looking when her eyes found their way to Maura's lips. She felt the overwhelming urge to kiss them, but she couldn't. Not for the first time, here in a hospital room. Not like this. So, instead, she gently kissed Maura's cheek and stood up to leave.

"Goodnight, Jane," Maura said quietly, sounding unmistakably disappointed.

The detective smiled.

"Goodnight, Maura."


	28. Chapter 28

**Okay, the next chapter is almost done. It will probably be posted within a few hours or so I think. Then it'll probably be at least the weekend again before I can get another one up. My workload for the semester is starting to pick up so I've got to keep on top of that. BUT I am still really excited to keep writing, I've got a lot of good stuff in the works! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Your feedback is always appreciated! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Janie, sweetheart! You're home!" Angela said, walking briskly over to hug her daughter and kiss her on the cheek.

When she pulled back, she noticed the look of confusion on the detective's face.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Why are you here, Ma?" Jane asked, stifling a yawn.

"Well, it's good to see you, too," Angela huffed, walking back towards Jane's kitchen and continuing to prepare the dinner that she was cooking on the stovetop.

Jane sighed, following her mother across the room and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Sorry, Ma. I'm just tired. And… pretty hungry…" she hinted, eyeing her mother's dinner.

She reached out to grab a bite from the skillet, but Angela smacked her hand away.

"It's not done yet! And I'm not feeding you until you go take a shower. Sorry, sweetheart, but I could smell you from across the room."

Jane stayed where she was, too tired to move.

"I'm not kidding, Janie. You'll thank me later," Mama Rizzoli said, staring down her defiant daughter.

The detective rolled her eyes and reluctantly headed back to hop in the shower, stopping just for a moment to sit on her bed and relax.

* * *

"Jane, would you like me to make you some breakfast?"

The detective sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking up at her mother's cheerful morning face.

"Breakfast, Ma? What time is it?" she asked groggily, looking at her watch.

"8:00 am. You want some eggs?"

Jane shot out of bed with a grunt of aggravation.

"You let me sleep through dinner?" she asked.

Angela shrugged.

"You looked exhausted. It's _your_ condo. I thought if you woke up hungry, you could just eat the leftovers."

She stopped and sniffed the air, then continued.

"You still need a shower, honey. I'll go make your eggs," Mama Rizzoli said as she headed back out to the kitchen in her pajamas.

Jane grumbled to herself as she stripped down and climbed into the shower, washing as quickly as she could and then rushing out to the kitchen to grab some food on her way out the door.

"You're leaving already?" Angela asked as Jane shoveled food into her mouth. "You'd better slow down or you'll make yourself sick."

The detective shook her head.

"Gotta go… Told Frost I'd stop by headquarters on my way to the hospital. Maura's probably already wondering where I am."

Angela smiled and crossed her arms.

"I'm sure she knows you're on the way."

Jane slowed down to deliver a kiss to her mother's cheek and flashed her a gentle grin.

"Bye, Ma."

* * *

It felt strange to walk into headquarters knowing that Maura wasn't downstairs in the autopsy room. It felt strange to pass by officers who pretended that they weren't staring, even though she knew they were. It felt strange that she didn't feel the need to yell at them, to tell them to mind their own business. It just didn't feel the same without Maura.

But she pushed the thought from her mind, knowing that she was only going to be there for a few minutes. And she couldn't help smiling at the genuinely happy faces of Frost and Korsak when she pushed open the door and walked over to her desk.

"Hey, Jane," Frost said with a smile. "How's Dr. Isles doing?"

Jane nodded and took a seat at her desk, letting out a huge sigh.

"Oh, I think she's doing pretty well under the circumstances. I'll tell her you asked about her," she replied.

"Glad to hear it, Jane," Korsak said from across the room. "She had us _all_ worried."

The silence following Korsak's comment showed the agreement that they all felt. After a few seconds, Jane spoke again with an incredulous shake of her head.

"How the _hell_ did you manage to get your hands on that antivenom, Korsak?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Pulled a few strings. I told you, I used to volunteer at that zoo. They didn't have any need for it anymore, so I knew they wouldn't miss it."

Jane paused for a second, eyeing the sergeant in disbelief.

"Wait… Korsak… you didn't _steal_ it, did you?" she whispered.

Frost turned to look at the older man, his own eyes widening.

Korsak was taken aback.

"What? No, of course I didn't! I didn't _steal_ it. They _gave_ it to me."

Jane and Frost exchanged mischievous glances.

"You sure, Korsak? You look awfully guilty about _something_," Frost pressed, trying to hide his smirk.

Jane hid her own smile long enough to add, "Yeah, maybe we should call and ask them if they're missing anything…"

"Oh, ha ha," Korsak deadpanned. "They really did give it to me, though. Honest."

Jane laughed.

"Yeah, we know."

"We know you wouldn't have had the balls to steal it," Frost teased.

This comment caused the sergeant to glare over at Frost and point his finger accusingly.

"I would so have had the _balls_, Frost. But unlike you, I'm a very _charming_ guy, and I wouldn't have _needed_ to steal it," Korsak retorted with a proud grin.

"Okay, okay," Frost said, holding up his hands and laughing in the admission of his defeat.

Jane chuckled at the banter between the two, at the feeling of normalcy that it brought. She had needed it.

"So, have you two actually _got_ anything for me, or are you just going to sit around and bust each other's chops all day?" she asked with a smirk.

"Well, we've been doing a lot of looking. Haven't been able to find any concrete leads on Colby Martin's whereabouts quite yet, but we _were_ able to do some digging into his personal life. Found a connection between him and our first two victims."

Jane's ears perked up at this.

"So, what is it?" she asked.

Her partner nodded and continued speaking.

"Up until about a year ago, Colby Martin was taking a number of different prescription drugs. Not sure what he was taking them _for_ exactly, but we _do_ know that a couple of the drugs showed up on the lists that our two victims were running tests on. Both of those drugs had been listed as safe for consumption by the researchers."

Jane nodded slowly, processing the information.

"Okay, yeah. So maybe he gets some bad side effects from the drugs he was taking and blames it on our victims. So, he kills them and uses Adam Neumann to cover his trail. When that doesn't work, he decides to kill Adam and take off."

"That's what we were thinking, too," Frost agreed, typing something into his computer and turning the screen around to show his partner.

"But when we recovered his gun from the lab and ran the serial number, we found out that he's got four other guns registered to his name. So why wouldn't he _shoot_ the victims instead of-"

Jane held up a hand and shook her head, brow scrunched up in confusion.

"What gun from the lab?"

Frost tilted his head, glancing over at Korsak.

"A handgun was recovered from his office, after we left with Dr. Isles," he explained.

"But that doesn't make any sense. If he had a gun, why didn't he shoot at me?" Jane wondered aloud.

Frost shrugged his shoulders, and Korsak spoke up.

"The gun was found a few feet away from the door to the hallway, where you came in. He must've dropped it, panicked and ran off."

Another thought crossed Jane's mind, and even the mere suggestion of it made her face pale and her stomach sink. She closed her eyes for a moment as she remembered the scene so clearly. Remembered the mere seconds that she had seen through the window of the office door. And Maura… It was the only explanation.

"He didn't just _drop_ it," she said softly, standing up from her chair and heading for the door. "Someone knocked it out of his hand."

Frost and Korsak watched quietly as she flung the door open and headed towards the elevator, exchanging worried glances when they reached the same conclusion that Jane had.

The ride to the ground floor seemed to take forever as she replayed the scene over and over in her head. And she knew, she _knew_ what had happened in that office.

_Goddammit, Maura._


	29. Chapter 29

**I just realized I'm one chapter away from Thirty! That makes me very happy, and I just need to say thank you all so very much for reading! Without your support I'm not sure how far this fic would have actually made it. So, THANK YOU! Your reviews put a smile on my face, and I hope my story is putting a smile on yours! Enjoy =)**

* * *

When Maura saw the look on Jane's face, she knew that something was terribly wrong.

"Good morning, Jane," Constance said cheerfully as the detective entered the room.

Jane put on her best fake smile, but Maura wasn't buying it.

"How did you sleep?" Maura's mother asked.

"Very well, actually. Fell asleep pretty much the minute I walked in the door," Jane replied with a forced chuckle.

Constance smiled gently at her, registering the thinly veiled distress on the detective's face. She glanced over at her daughter and raised her eyebrows, tilting her head towards Jane as she stood up.

"Now that you're here, I think I'll just take a little walk. Stretch my legs after sitting all night," she said, excusing herself with a final glance over her shoulder as she left the room.

As soon as she was gone, Jane quietly got up and went over to close the door. Then she crossed the room and sat back down, staring straight up at Maura.

"What happened, Maura?" she asked quietly.

The medical examiner was at a loss.

"I'm… not sure what you're asking," she replied, honestly confused.

Jane closed her eyes and shook her head, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees and place her head in her hands.

"What is it, Jane?" Maura asked, growing concerned.

"What the _hell_, Maura," Jane said quietly, sounding more hurt than angry.

"What? What did I do?" Maura stammered, her heart rate beginning to increase.

The detective slowly raised her head from her hands and looked at Maura, lying in the hospital bed. She looked at her hands. Her knees. Then she raised her eyes back up to the medical examiner's face. She lifted one of her arms and motioned to Maura's body, her face a mixture of anguish and disbelief.

"_Look_ at yourself."

Maura stared straight at Jane, refusing to look away. The detective continued.

"You almost _died_, Maura. You do realize that, don't you? That I was holding you, _watching you die_, in my arms. If Korsak hadn't found that antivenom… you wouldn't _be_ here. You'd be _dead_, Maura."

Even as Jane said it, she shocked herself. It was the first time she had truly allowed the thought to cross her mind unchecked. Allowed it to escape her lips. Before, it had felt like she would be tempting fate to say the word. To even think it.

_Dead_.

But now, the gravity of their situation had fully struck her. Maura's actions… Jane needed to know.

"I need you to tell me, Maura. What happened in that office?"

The medical examiner took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she closed her eyes. She hadn't expected to have this conversation so soon, and she knew that Jane wouldn't like the answer.

"It seems like you already know what happened, Jane," she said quietly.

"I need to hear you tell me."

Maura sighed, then gently cleared her throat.

"He held me at gunpoint and told me to sit on the stool. Then he took the spikes and…" her voice trailed off, and she paused for a moment as she waited for the lump in her throat to subside. She cleared her throat again and continued.

"He took the snake out of its tank and told me not to move. It was on my lap. And he made me sit there. Like that. Until you came."

Jane shook her head.

"No. That's not all there is."

She stood up and placed her hand on Maura's arm, trying to provide as much comfort as she could while she asked the medical examiner to recount the nightmarish experience.

"I know it's hard, Maura. But I have to know this."

Maura nodded, a tear forming in her eye and rolling down her cheek.

"We heard you come down on the elevator, and we could see you go down the other hallway. He saw your gun, so he… he decided to hide. Behind the counter."

She paused to sniff, her voice shaking from the emotion.

"He had his gun aimed at the door. To shoot you. And I knew you wouldn't be able to see him. So, I… I just sort of… fell. And knocked his gun away."

Jane shook her head slowly, reaching up to run a hand back through her curls. When she spoke, she felt her voice increasing in volume as Maura's words sank in.

"Maura, why would you _do_ that? Huh? _Why_? You _knew_ what kind of snake that was. You _knew_ the hospital wouldn't have the antivenom. Why the _hell_ would you do that?"

The medical examiner looked up at Jane unapologetically.

"He was going to _shoot_ you, Jane. My mouth was covered. There was no way for me to _warn_ you, and you wouldn't have been able to _see_ him. Was I supposed to just _let_ him shoot you?"

"_Yes_!" Jane exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "That's _exactly_ what you should have done, Maura! I'm a cop! People shoot at me all the time! It's part of my job! You're _not _supposed to protect _me, _Maura. _I'm _supposed to protect _you_."

Maura shook her head.

"I wasn't just going to sit there and let someone kill you, Jane," she said defensively.

"But _I _was supposed to watch _you_ die?" the detective countered.

Maura looked away, silent.

"Maura, you can't just… you can't _do_ things like that," Jane whispered.

The medical examiner looked back over at her, frustration written across her face.

"Why not, Jane? You would have done it for _me_. I _know_ you would have."

"You're absolutely right. I _would_ have. It's my _job_ to protect people, Maura. _Especially_ when that person is you."

"Well, I consider it part of _my_ job to protect the woman I _love_, Jane."

The detective sighed, shaking her head and leaning on the railings of Maura's bed.

"I don't think making me watch you die counts as _protecting_ me, Maura," she said softly.

"At least you'd still be alive."

"But that's not the _point_, Maura. _You_ wouldn't be. I mean… you told me you were _in love_ with me, and then I almost…"

The detective cleared her throat, trying not to cry. Maura looked up at her, again wishing that she could reach out to comfort her. Again feeling the heartbreak of being unable to.

"I'm _here_, Jane. I'm still _here_. You didn't lose me. I'm right here."

Jane shook her head, looking down at her feet.

"Please, don't ever do this to me again."

"You know I can't promise that. I _am_ sorry for everything that I put you through, but… I'd do it again in a heartbeat to keep you safe."

She paused, searching for the right words.

"Jane, just because you're the only one of us with a gun… that doesn't mean you're the only one who gets to be strong."

Jane slowly raised her eyes to look up at the medical examiner.

"I didn't feel very strong when I got to that office and saw you, Maura. Or when I was sitting in the car with you on the way here, to the hospital. I didn't feel very strong when I sat in the waiting room, _useless_, while _Korsak_ came in and saved you. I didn't feel strong _at all_."

She took a deep breath, then continued.

"You _are_ strong, Maura. I know that. You're the smartest, kindest, strongest person I know. But just because I _know _how strong you are doesn't mean I'm ever going to stop wanting to keep you safe. To protect you. I don't want anything like this to _ever_ happen to you again, Maura. Ever."

Maura nodded solemnly.

"I know, Jane. But _I_ don't want it to happen to _you_, either."

The detective shrugged her shoulders in defeat, looking up at Maura with a shake of her head.

"So… _what_, then? That's it? Just… end of discussion?"

Maura shrugged.

"I told you. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. And if anything like this ever _would _happen again, I _still_ would not simply sit by and let someone hurt you."

"I don't like it."

"I know."

"I _hate_ it, actually."

"I know, Jane."

Jane sighed, looking away for what felt like an eternity before returning her gaze to meet Maura's.

"I really love you, you know that?" Jane said quietly. "I _hate_ this. I _hate _the idea of you _ever_ putting yourself in danger for me. And I wish you _wouldn't_. I wish you _hadn't._ I'll _never_ be okay with it. Just the thought of it drives me crazy, because I love you _so_ damn much. And I'll do everything that I can to keep you safe. Always. But… you're right. You're strong. I just hope you never have to prove it again."

Maura chuckled.

"I kind of hope so, too," she said with a cautious laugh.

Jane's smile grew a little, but Maura could still see the worry in her eyes.

"I'm okay, Jane. I _chose_ this. I knew what I was doing, and I chose it because I love you. I'm sorry for everything that you went through, and I'm sorry that I made you feel weak. Because you're _not _weak. You risk your life all the time, for people you don't even _know_. You're a _hero_, Jane. I know you don't like to hear that, but you are. And you _are_ strong. And I _love_ you."

The detective gently tucked her arms underneath Maura's back to pull her into a hug, rubbing her back with one hand as she held her.

"Thank you, Maura," she whispered. "I'm still mad at you for doing it, and you'd better not _ever_ do it again… but thank you."

Maura smiled into Jane's shoulder.

"I wish I could hug you back," she sighed, closing her eyes to relax into Jane's embrace.

"I wish I could kiss you," Jane whispered back.

Maura pulled back a little to look at her.

"No one's going to stop you," she replied, her eyes making their way down towards Jane's lips.

But the detective shook her head.

"Not yet. It won't be like this. It needs to be… I don't know. Special, I guess."

Maura sighed, a tired grin appearing on her face.

"You're such a tease," she joked.

Jane chuckled softly.

"Maybe. I'd prefer to think it's romantic or something."

Maura shook her head, leaning forward to kiss Jane's cheek.

"A _romantic_ tease, maybe… but okay. I'll wait."

The detective nodded, placing a soft kiss to Maura's temple.

"I won't make you wait long."


	30. Chapter 30

**Can't believe we're at Thirty chapters already! I still have a lot of good stuff planned, so we're not done yet! I'm also pretty excited to get some more of the crime stuff back into the mix. Many thanks for reading and for leaving me your reviews, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"_Please_."

"Ha ha… _no_."

"_Please_, Jane."

"_No, _Maura."

"Jane really is right, darling. This food isn't meant for us. It's for _you_. To help you regain your strength so that you can go home."

Maura looked helplessly towards her mother and the detective.

"But… I ate the _salad_," she offered.

Jane shook her head, pointing at the tray of food in front of her.

"That's not good enough. You gotta eat this mystery meat, too."

Maura glared at her, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, referring to it as _mystery meat_ is really not helping."

The detective grinned, and felt a tiny surge of pride when Maura's face broke out into a reluctant smile of her own.

"Eat the food, Maura."

She shook her head.

"Studies have shown that up to one quarter of hospital meals are contaminated with Clostridium difficile. Every meal I eat here increases my chances of exposure."

"Well, it's a good thing you're already in a hospital then. _Eat_."

Maura shot Jane a dirty look as the detective raised a forkful of chicken towards her mouth. She made a face as she accepted the bite and began to chew, still glaring at Jane. Constance caught the detective's eye and raised her eyebrows, impressed at Jane's ability to elicit Maura's cooperation.

Jane laughed at the miserable expression on Maura's face.

"You know, Maura, I really did not expect you to whine this much."

The medical examiner's jaw dropped in a look of affronted disbelief.

"I am not _whining_," she said a little too defensively.

Both Constance and the detective tried and failed to hide their smirks.

"You _are_ being a bit… _difficult_, dear," Constance said with a chuckle.

Maura opened her mouth as if to defend herself further, then her face softened as she realized that her mother was right. She sighed and opened her mouth to wait for another forkful of food.

"See?" Jane said softly, "That's not so bad, is it?"

The medical examiner shook her head and rolled her eyes, unable to help the small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. She glanced up to see Jane smirking down at her, but not without an affectionate look in her eyes. The detective smiled gently back at her, reaching to grab another forkful of food, when her cell phone began going off.

"Uh…" Jane looked around for a place to set down the fork, then reached over to hand it to Constance.

"Oh! Of course. I'll take it from here, Jane," Maura's mother said with a smile, repositioning herself so that she could feed her daughter.

"Rizzoli," Jane said into her phone as she walked to the other side of the room.

"Jane, there's something you need to see. We've got a body."

The detective peered over her shoulder to see Maura looking over at her, giving her a small smile before turning back around and lowering her voice.

"Can it wait? The doctor should be coming in soon to tell us if Maura can go home today."

"I'm sorry, Jane. I wouldn't have called you, but… you really need to see this for yourself."

Her stomach dropped as she realized what that most likely meant.

"Is it him?" she whispered into the phone.

"I'll text you the address," Frost responded.

She sighed at the intentional dodge of her question.

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."

When she turned back around and made her way to the side of Maura's bed, the medical examiner was already giving her a nod and a gentle smile.

"It's okay, Jane. We're fine," she told the detective, anticipating her reluctance to leave.

Jane smiled down at her.

"You sure? I'll be back as soon as I can."

Maura nodded, and Constance reached over to give the detective a reassuring pat on the arm.

"We'll be fine, dear. Go ahead."

Jane began to lean down as if to kiss Maura on the forehead, then glanced nervously over at Constance and stopped herself, straightening back up in what she hoped was an inconspicuous move. She cleared her throat.

"Yeah, so, uh… See you later," she mumbled.

She felt her heart twist into a knot at the hurt that flickered briefly across Maura's face. The medical examiner tried to cover it with a smile as she replied softly,

"Bye, Jane."

_Shit. You're an idiot, Rizzoli._

"Goodbye, Constance. See you two in a bit," the detective said quietly, eyes on her feet as she made her way to the door.

"Goodbye, Jane."

* * *

_What, you're afraid of her mother now? It was just a little kiss. Not even on the lips. You were just going to kiss her on the forehead, and now you've gone and made her all upset. Nice work, detective. _

_Okay, but what if Constance wouldn't approve? What if Maura doesn't want anyone to know about… what we said? We haven't talked about it. If you'd kissed her on the forehead in front of Constance, maybe _that _would have made her upset._

_Maybe, but that's _not_ why you didn't kiss her._

_Maybe it is._

_Really?_

_Maybe. I don't know._

_Shit. Shut up. Shit._

"Jane?" Frost called across the yard, waiting for his partner to get out of her car.

"Yeah, hold on," she replied, closing her eyes for a second before stepping out of the car.

_Pull it together. You can worry about this later._

"What have we got?" she asked her partner as he led her to the front door of a small house.

Frost shook his head sadly, letting a small sigh escape as he pointed inside.

"I think you'd better just go have a look."

Jane raised her eyebrows.

_That seems ominous._

The detective made her way into the house, following Frost back towards the living room. She wasn't even able to get one foot through the doorway before she felt herself freeze to the spot and all of the air expelling itself from her lungs at the sight before her. She closed her eyes for a minute to compose herself, but when she opened them up again she felt her stomach begin to turn.

"Are you okay, Jane?" Frost asked, placing a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

She nodded, leaning over a little and taking a deep breath.

"Are you going to be sick?" her partner questioned, keeping his voice low so none of the other officers would hear.

Jane shook her head.

"No, no. I'll be fine. Just… just give me a second."

She took another deep breath.

"Do we… uh… do we have an ID on the victim?" she asked, voice shaking, as she straightened herself back up and forced herself to look at the body.

Frost nodded.

"Her name's Lisa Garven. She's 33. Her husband found her this morning after his midnight shift."

Jane shook her head, closing her eyes for another few seconds before stepping fully into the room and making her way over towards the body. She tried to mentally catalogue what she was seeing. To keep it from feeling real.

_Female in her mid-thirties. Honey blonde hair, just like Mau-... Blonde hair. Lab coat, vomit down the front and pooling in her lap. Hands…_

"You okay, Jane?" Frost asked gently from behind her.

She nodded.

"Yeah. Just… trying to take it in." Her voice was still shaking, and she still thought she might be sick.

_Hands wrapped in bloodied gauze and covered with protective splints. Knees, also wrapped in bloodied gauze with black knee braces._

Jane shook her head slowly, closing her eyes.

"It's supposed to look like her. Like Maura. He's mocking me," she whispered to her partner.

Frost nodded almost imperceptibly.

Jane opened her eyes back up to continue observing. Two blood covered railroad spikes were laid neatly across her lap, with a small bottle tucked in between them. She leaned down to get a better look, her hands reflexively clenching into fists and jaw tightening as she read the label.

"What is it?" Frost asked from behind her.

She looked up at him, anger radiating from her face.

"The label says, 'Antivenin. Micrurus fulvius. Equine origin. North American Coral Snake Antivenom.' Fucking _bastard_ is _taunting_ me."

"There's something in the bottle," Frost said, reaching out with a gloved hand to pick it up and remove the cap.

He pulled out a small piece of paper, rolled up neatly to fit inside the bottle. As he unrolled it, he glanced nervously at Jane and seemed to be deciding whether or not to show it to her.

"Give it to me, Frost," she said, holding out her hand.

He hesitated, but the look in her eyes caused him to reluctantly hand it over.

'_Have fun in your wheelchair, Dr. Isles. See you soon.'_

As her eyes skated over the words, Jane felt her anger turn quickly to rage. It took every ounce of her strength not to crumple up the paper in her shaking hands, and Frost seemed to sense the change as he quickly reached over to take it back.

"_I'll_ see you soon, you smug bastard," she hissed through clenched teeth.

Jane looked up at Frost, and for a moment he was almost afraid of the feral look in her eyes.

"We gotta get this guy, Frost," she growled. "You gotta let _me _get this guy."

Her partner nodded.

"We'll find him, Jane."

She stood up and took one last look at the body.

_I'll find him._


	31. Chapter 31

**I hope you're all continuing to enjoy the story as much as I'm enjoying writing it! Thank you all for reading and for leaving me your feedback, it really does mean a lot to hear such kind words of encouragement. As always, your reviews are very appreciated! Thanks, and enjoy! =)**

* * *

The problem with attempting to put aside her personal feelings in order to understand the actions of Jane Rizzoli, was that Maura had _never_ been able to fully understand the actions of Jane Rizzoli.

_She must have changed her mind._

Maura felt her heart sink at the thought, and she tried to push it away. But she couldn't.

_Think about this logically. She has not yet kissed you on the lips. Only on the cheek, or the forehead. She won't even do _that_ when someone else is in the room. She must have realized that she misinterpreted her adrenal response as attraction to you, and now she feels too _sorry_ for you to tell you the truth._

"Have I said something to upset Jane?" Constance asked quietly, snapping Maura out of her worrisome thoughts.

The medical examiner shook her head decisively.

"No, mother, of course not. I think she's just feeling a bit stressed from the case she's working on."

_That's certainly not a lie. Maybe that's even the whole truth. Stress does have the ability to-_

"Are you sure that's all, darling? She seemed rather… _uncomfortable_ when she left."

Maura paused, trying to think of a response that wasn't a lie. She wasn't fast enough.

"Maura. Would you like to speak with me about what's going on between the two of you?"

The medical examiner felt her chest and neck becoming warm, the blush creeping slowly up and across her cheeks. Her mother smiled at the physiological reaction, pleased with herself for accurately assessing the situation.

"There's nothing… going on…" Maura began slowly, stopping when her mother interrupted her with a chastising raise of her eyebrows.

"You _know_ you get hives when you lie, dear. You've never been able to fool me."

Maura smiled innocently, causing her mother to chuckle and give her arm a reassuring rub.

"If you don't want to share it with me, I understand. But I want you to know that you can confide in me with anything," Constance said with a smile.

The medical examiner sighed slowly and shook her head.

"I told her that I was in love with her, mother. Before… all of this."

Her mother smiled gently, encouraging her to continue.

"She said that she did not reciprocate my feelings. Then when I… she thought I was going to…"

Maura paused, waiting to find the right words. She sighed again.

"She told me that she loved me because she thought I was dying. And now that I'm going home, that I'm going to be okay, I'm afraid she's realized it was a mistake."

She felt the familiar lump forming in her throat and she swallowed it down, unable to keep a stray tear from running down her cheek. Strangely, her mother was smiling.

"Darling," Constance began, giving her arm a gentle squeeze, "you shouldn't doubt Jane's affection for you. I noticed it the first time that I met her. I am certain that she feels the same way you do."

"But studies have shown that fear can often be misinterpreted as-"

"Maura."

She closed her mouth and let her mother continue speaking.

"This is a confusing time right now. It's a _difficult_ time. Jane may not quite understand her feelings for you at the moment, but I am confident that she will figure things out. And I don't think you need to be worried about what conclusion she will reach. Yes?"

Maura nodded, still unconvinced. Constance leaned over to plant a kiss into her hair.

"Now, let's just focus on getting you well, and getting you out of here. Shall we?"

The medical examiner smiled up at her mother, realizing at once how incredibly glad she was that Constance had flown in to be with her.

"Thank you, mother," she whispered.

Constance smiled gently back at her daughter.

"You're welcome, my darling girl."

* * *

"I am _really _not in the mood to deal with… _him_," Jane whispered angrily to her partner as Dr. Pike entered the scene.

"Good afternoon, detectives. I see Dr. Isles has-"

"_Don't_, Pike," Jane warned, shooting him a look of daggers that caused him to take a step backwards in shock.

"Do _not_ say a single word about Dr. Isles. Understand?" she continued, bringing her hand up to point threateningly at him.

"Calm down, Jane," Frost whispered from behind her.

"This _is_ calm."

Dr. Pike shook his head judgmentally as he kneeled down to begin his examination of the body.

"Professionalism is hard to come by these days, I can see," he mumbled to himself, although still purposefully speaking loudly enough for the detectives to hear.

Jane rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to reign in her heightened annoyance and anger.

"I'm sorry if it seems as though I'm being unprofessional, Dr. Pike," she forced out through gritted teeth, hands balled into fists, "but I'd very much _appreciate_ it if you wouldn't speak about my colleague, Dr. Isles. Please."

Frost gave her a gentle pat on the back and a smile, and Dr. Pike turned to look up at her.

"Yes, well… I suppose I will accept your apology, Detective Rizzoli. Although I don't understand why you think _I_ would be so unprofessional as to speak poorly of Dr. Isles, when her injuries have likely rendered her permanently unable to adequately perform the duties of a medical examiner."

_Don't punch him don't punch him don't punch him_

She took a deep breath and a few steps backwards, eyes closed and jaw clenched. When she opened her eyes, she was almost pleased to notice a similarly outraged look on Frost's face.

"What can you tell us about the _victim_, Dr. Pike?" Frost growled.

"Are there bite marks?" Jane added, forcing her voice to remain steady.

Dr. Pike reached out with a gloved hand to turn the victim's arms so that he could examine the underside, where the splints were not completely covering the skin.

"I don't see any _bite_ marks…" he observed, "but there appears to be a small puncture wound here near her elbow. Most likely from a hypodermic needle."

Jane leaned forward to get a closer look, tilting her head in confusion as she looked towards her partner.

"You think he switched to drugs now that his snake is dead? Had to find another way to kill his victims?" she asked Frost, remembering very vividly the exact moment at which she had planted a bullet into the vile creature's head. She shook it off.

"That's what it looks like. Which means we're back to square one, running tests on all those lists of drugs again. _Dammit_."

They both sighed in frustration, Frost reaching up with one hand to rub his temples and Jane running a hand back through her unruly curls.

"We could start running tests on the prescriptions that Colby Martin was taking. Maybe he used one of those, or a combination. Worth a shot," Jane suggested wearily.

"I'll see what I can find," Frost replied. "Is that _your_ phone?" he asked, hearing the telltale beep of someone's phone ringing.

She quickly pulled it out and saw that it was Constance.

"Hello, Constance?" she answered, making her way out of the house to speak privately.

"Hello, Jane. Maura asked me to call you and let you know that we'll be on our way back to her house momentarily. She's being released from the hospital, so we're preparing to get her moved."

"How is she feeling? Is she doing okay? Is she there now?" Jane asked, avoiding the question that she really wanted to ask: _How much does she hate me right now?_

"Oh, yes, here. I'll put you on the speaker phone."

_Oh._

"Hi, Jane," Maura said in her best attempt at sounding cheerful.

"Hey, Maura," the detective replied, immediately noticing the way her voice changed when she was speaking with the medical examiner. It was… softer. Gentler. Cozy. It made her feel so at _home_, so _relaxed_. It was just that, with Maura, she didn't need to be _Detective Rizzoli_. She was just _Jane_. She'd never realized before that Maura, even just hearing her _voice_, gave her such a specific feeling of… contentment.

_I wonder if anyone else has noticed that,_ she thought to herself before Maura spoke again.

"Are you still there?"

"Oh… yeah. Still here. How are you feeling? Ready to get home?"

"Yes. I'm feeling quite well, and I am more than ready to be back in my home. Out of here," Maura replied, sounding exhausted.

"Good. I'm glad," Jane smiled, even though she knew the medical examiner couldn't see the expression. "Should I come meet you at the hospital, or should I just go straight to your house?"

"You don't have to do that, Jane. You can just come over when you're done working, or you could wait until tomorrow or… just, whenever you want to visit."

She imagined that Maura was probably shaking her head and frowning, and this caused her to smile, too.

"I knew you'd say that. And I'm still coming over. So, house or hospital?"

_I wonder if she's smiling as much as I am,_ Jane thought to herself as she heard a few seconds of quiet on the other end. _Or maybe she's still mad at me and she's trying to think of a way to-_

"You can just meet us at the house, if you'd like. We should be there soon."

Jane couldn't help the small sigh of relief that escaped her lungs. _Guess she must not hate me _too_ much._

"Okay, Maura. Be safe. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you soon, Jane."

She hung up the phone and went back in to tell Frost the news.

"Maura's on her way home from the hospital now. Is it okay if I…?"

He nodded, a relieved smile appearing on his face.

"That's great news, Jane. Of course. Go. We've got this."

As she turned to leave, she thought she saw an odd expression on Dr. Pike's face. He looked as if he was going to make some type of comment, but saw Jane looking at him and thought better of it. He turned away, cheeks reddening, as he pretended to be busy examining the body.

"Goodbye, Dr. Pike," the detective said as she left the room.

"Uh… Goodbye, Detective Rizzoli," the doctor replied, sounding almost fearful.

Jane couldn't help smiling a little and shaking her head.

_Good. Fear me._

She chuckled for a moment as she exited the house, pausing to look back as she got out the keys to her car. The smile faded into a frown as she remembered the message that had been left in that house for her, and for the already injured medical examiner. When she spoke again, barely above a whisper, the words were meant for both Dr. Pike and Colby Martin.

"And don't mess with Maura, unless you're ready to tangle with _me_."


	32. Chapter 32

"Maura?" Jane asked as she let herself into the medical examiner's house. "Why's your door unlocked?"

No reply.

"Well, I'm locking it."

As Jane took a few steps inside, she heard footsteps quickly approaching from the living room and looked over to see Constance making her way across the hall.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't realize you had a key," she said with a smile.

"Oh... I guess I wasn't really thinking… but _Maura_ knows that I have one," the detective said, confused.

"She was tired when we got back, so she asked us to set her up for a quick nap. Neither of us really thought to ask if you-"

"Us? Is my mother here already?"

Constance shook her head, leading Jane down into the living room to where a young nurse was organizing various medical supplies.

"This is Dawn. She's going to be Maura's caregiver for the next few weeks."

Dawn looked up from her work with a polite smile and extended her hand as the two women approached.

"You must be Jane. It's nice to meet you, detective."

Jane smiled back and gently shook her hand, beginning to frown a little as she realized that Maura was alone.

"Shouldn't somebody be in there with her?" she asked. "I mean, she _just _got back from the hospital. Is she okay by herself?"

Constance smiled and looked to Dawn, who gave her nod of approval.

"Dr. Isles told us that she was tired and would like to take a little nap before you arrived. We've got her set up with the CPMs in her bed, so I was planning to go up and check in on her in a few minutes, actually."

Jane shook her head, smiling at the nurse.

"That's okay. I'll go sit with her for awhile, if you don't mind."

Constance smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I think she would like that."

The detective smiled gently back and then headed out of the living room and up the stairs.

_I wonder if she's actually asleep, or if she was just trying to avoid talking to me,_ Jane thought to herself as she made her way back towards Maura's bedroom.

She was a few feet away from the door when she heard the first muffled sob, and by the time her brain fully registered that Maura was crying, her feet had already swiftly carried her through the door and over to the side of Maura's bed.

The medical examiner sniffled loudly and turned her head away when Jane entered the room, as if trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

"Oh… Jane. I didn't know… you were h-here," she said quietly, unable to hide the uneven breathing pattern that had developed from her sobs.

"Maura, what's wrong? Are you okay? Should I go get your nurse?"

Jane scanned her eyes along Maura's injuries, trying to see if there was anything immediately apparent as the cause of the medical examiner's distress. Her eyes stopped when they landed on the large devices that Maura's legs were resting in, very slowly bending her knees and moving her legs up and down.

"I'm okay, Ja-ane," she breathed, taking in a large gulp of air and slowly letting it out, waiting for her breathing to regulate.

"Does it hurt, Maura? Maybe we can just turn this thing off…"

The detective leaned over and started eyeing the CPM, trying to figure out how to work it, but Maura's voice stopped her.

"It doesn't hurt much, Jane. It has to stay on. The continuous passive motion reduces swelling and stiffness in the joints, which facilitates the healing process."

"Maybe I can go get you some pain killers or something?"

Maura shook her head, a tiny smile turning up the corners of her mouth.

"Really… the pain isn't incredibly bad, Jane. I'm already taking an assortment of medications, but they're only meant to make the discomfort manageable, not to eradicate it completely."

Jane carefully sat down on the edge of Maura's bed and reached over to gently rub her arm, leaning down with a grin to whisper,

"Want me to hit the streets and get you some of the good stuff? That'll definitely… _eradicate_ this discomfort."

The medical examiner sniffled as a small chuckle escaped her lips, the smile on her face growing a little larger.

"No, Jane. I think I'm on enough drugs as it is," she replied.

The detective smiled and gave her arm a pat, then reached over to grab a tissue and gently wipe the tears from Maura's face.

"So… you _weren't_ crying from… you know, the _pain_?" Jane asked tentatively.

Maura glanced away for a second, then slowly raised her eyes back up to Jane's.

"No, I wasn't," she said quietly.

Jane waited to see if she would offer any further explanation, but she didn't.

"Care to elaborate?" the detective said with a gentle grin.

Maura looked at her for a moment before shrugging her shoulders and speaking.

"I thought I wanted a few minutes to myself. Just to… process my current state. And then it turned into… well, _this_. I suppose I was having a bit of a sorrow party for myself."

Jane chuckled.

"A pity party?" she corrected with a cautious smile.

The medical examiner nodded, a half-hearted smile appearing on her own face.

"I guess it just sort of… started to sink in. I started crying and went to reach for the tissue box, but then I remembered that I can't use my hands. So, then I began crying even more, but I was also trying to be quiet so that no one would hear me. I just… I've turned into a bit of a mess."

Maura sniffled, letting out a sad chuckle as she shrugged and looked down at herself.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't realize you would be here quite so soon, and…"

Her voice started to shake again, and she left the sentence unfinished.

"Will it hurt you if I prop you up so that I can give you a hug?" Jane asked quietly.

Maura shook her head, tears beginning to fall again, and Jane quickly got up and went to the other side of the bed to grab a few extra pillows. She carefully lifted Maura's torso up off of the bed and placed the pillows under her, propping her up, then went back around and sat herself down next to Maura on the edge of the bed. After gently placing a kiss into the medical examiner's hair, she wrapped her arms around the blonde's back and pulled her into a soft embrace, gently running her hands up and down her spine in a soothing gesture.

For a few moments, neither woman said a word. It didn't seem necessary. When Maura's tears finally subsided, Jane gently pulled back to look into her eyes. She reached out and tucked a strand of honey blonde hair behind her ear before speaking softly to her.

"You never have to pretend with me, Maura. You never have to hide what you're feeling."

Maura opened her mouth as if to protest, but Jane shook her head and continued.

"This _sucks_, Maura. It does. You don't have to hide your face from me when you've been crying. You don't have to tell me that you feel okay when you _don't_. The things that you feel… it's _okay_ to feel them. You never have to be ashamed with me, Maura. Be honest with me, and let me _help_ you."

Maura nodded, remaining silent for a few seconds before the tiniest of smiles appeared on her face.

"It really _does_… suck," she admitted.

Jane grinned, leaning forward to place a kiss onto her forehead. When she did so, it reminded her of what had happened earlier in the hospital room.

"Maura, I'm sorry about-"

Maura shook her head, apparently reminded of the same incident.

"Let's not talk about it now, Jane."

The detective nodded, pulling her back in for another hug and resting her hand on the back of the medical examiner's neck.

"Okay, Maura."

Maura sighed and closed her eyes, her chin resting peacefully on the detective's shoulder, and her head nuzzled gently up against the side of Jane's neck.

_This part doesn't suck_, Maura thought to herself with a smile.

She felt Jane chuckle, and her eyes snapped open. _Did I just say that out loud?_

"I agree," the detective said. "It definitely doesn't."

Maura's embarrassment passed as quickly as it came, when she realized that Jane had been thinking the same thing. The smile returned to her face and she closed her eyes again, relaxing back into Jane's arms.

_No, _she thought to herself with a grin,_ Definitely does not suck._


	33. Chapter 33

**Thank you all for continuing to read and leave your feedback! I'm glad you're enjoying it =)**

**As always, reviews are appreciated, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

There were two reasons why Jane felt absolutely miserable at dinner that evening.

The first was that she felt an odd amount of growing resentment towards Dawn with each bite that the nurse fed to Maura at the table. Jane had tried to help the medical examiner herself, but Maura had insisted that the detective enjoy her own meal while Dawn helped the injured blonde. So, Jane sat across the table, eating her food, with her eyes glued to Maura's the whole time.

The detective knew that she was staring. She knew that everyone at the table was pretending not to notice, but she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from Maura. Every now and then the medical examiner would meet her gaze, but she could never hold it for more than a second or two before her eyes would drop back down in embarrassment as she accepted her next bite of food.

That was the second reason for Jane's misery. She could read every expression that flickered across Maura's face. The shame. The despair. The helplessness. Even worse was the sad smile that the medical examiner kept up, trying desperately to mask the real emotions that she was feeling. It broke Jane's heart to watch, yet she couldn't look away.

"So, Angela. How are things at the café?" Constance asked in an attempt to draw attention away from her daughter.

Angela had been watching her own daughter, and the sudden question caused her to jump slightly before chuckling and shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Constance," she laughed. "Things are going well. I've been trying out some new, healthier recipes, but I think Maura was the only one who ever actually ate them."

Maura looked over at Mama Rizzoli and smiled gently, swallowing a bite of food before responding to the comment.

"Your food is delicious, Angela. But if Jane is an example, getting anyone in Boston PD to eat healthy food is easier said than done," she teased, looking over at the detective as if expecting a sarcastic response.

For a moment Jane was silent, but then she saw the expression on Maura's face. As if her eyes were pleading with her to come up with something snarky, to pretend that things were normal. Jane gave a half-hearted smile and nodded gently towards the medical examiner.

"Yeah, well, I'm surprised even _you_ can stomach the crap you try to make _me_ eat," she joked quietly.

Maura's smile widened a bit, and she seemed to be silently thanking Jane for playing along.

If Jane could have read Maura's mind, she would have seen that that was, indeed, what the medical examiner was doing.

"I'm only trying to look out for your well-being, Jane."

"And _I'm_ only trying to look out for the well-being of my taste buds."

Angela chuckled, reaching over to playfully hit her daughter on the arm.

"You know, you _could_ stand to eat a little more green," she suggested.

The detective turned up her nose, looking over to see both Constance and Maura watching and laughing.

"I eat green stuff!" Jane defended, spurred on by being the center of attention. "Olives, pickles, green candies…"

"Okay, okay, Janie. We get the point," Angela laughed, playfully grabbing at Jane's shoulder and pulling her over to plant a kiss on top of her head.

Jane made another face, breaking into a grin when her mother spotted it and glared at her.

"I swear, you act just like a _child_ sometimes, Jane!" Angela chastised.

The detective grinned and shook her head, peeking over at Maura and feeling pleased at the genuine smile that she saw on the medical examiner's face.

"Yeah, Ma. I guess I do," she said with a smile of her own.

"Are you finished eating, Dr. Isles?" Dawn asked quietly, standing up to take Maura's plate over to the sink when she nodded.

"I believe I'm finished, as well. I'll go get started on the dishes. Could I take your plate, Jane?"

"Oh, I can-"

"I don't mind, dear," Constance said with a wink, reaching over to gather Jane's utensils.

"I'll help you with those dishes, Constance," Angela offered, standing up quickly and gathering her own dishes. "Janie, why don't you take Maura upstairs and help get her ready for bed?"

"Oh, that's alright, Angela. Dawn can help me, if Jane wants to head home before it gets too late."

The detective felt a twinge of hurt at Maura's suggestion that she should leave.

"I don't mind staying, Maura. If you want me to," she said quietly enough for only the medical examiner's ears.

"To help me get ready?"

_Well…_

"I could… I mean, maybe someone should stay... in case you need to go to the bathroom or something overnight. I can just stay here. If you want."

Maura lowered her eyes for a moment, then looked back up with a frown.

"You don't have to. My mother will be just down the hall, in the guest room, if I need any assistance."

Jane walked over to the other side of the table and sat down, reaching out to rest her hand on Maura's elbow as she spoke to her.

"I'm not asking if you _need_ me to stay. I'm asking if you _want_ me to."

The medical examiner didn't say anything.

"Do you, Maura?"

She looked up at Jane, frowning, but nodded.

"Yes."

Jane smiled at her, gently running her thumb across its new home on Maura's arm.

"That's all I needed to hear. I'll stay with you. You want to go up now?"

Maura nodded.

Jane stood up and grabbed the handles on Maura's wheelchair, pulling her back from the table and carefully maneuvering her up, past the kitchen, and over to the stairs. She stopped and took a step back, tilting her head and considering how best to get the medical examiner up the stairs. Maura watched her with a grin, shaking her head.

"Have you been neglecting to regularly exercise your critical thinking skills?" Maura asked innocently, her smile growing even larger when Jane feigned offense.

"_Me_? Why, Dr. Isles, I exercise my critical thinking skills every day. But I'll tackle this challenge with _brute strength_."

Jane grinned down at her, stepping up on the first step behind the chair and reaching down to grab the tops of the wheels. She carefully lifted the chair up and over the first step, then continued making her way up the short staircase and down the hall to Maura's room, her face red and her breath coming at a faster rate than normal from the exertion.

"Okay..." Jane sighed as she rolled the chair into Maura's room. "Maybe I should've asked Dawn for a little help."

Maura laughed as Jane flopped herself face down on the medical examiner's bed.

"You can just sleep in your chair, right?" the detective asked, the sound muffled by the fact that her face was buried in Maura's duvet.

Before Maura could respond, she'd rolled over and was grinning across the room at her.

"I mean, you look pretty comfortable over there," she continued.

Maura tilted her chin down and raised an eyebrow.

"Very funny, Jane," she said, unable to keep herself from smiling. "You're more than welcome to sit in this thing if you think it looks so comfortable."

"Oh, _no_, I couldn't do that to you!" Jane chuckled, picking herself up off the bed and walking back over to Maura.

She reached across and pushed the door closed, then knelt down so she could speak at eye level with the medical examiner.

"What should I get for you to wear?" she asked quietly.

Maura began to blush, and she turned her head away.

"I just… I thought I would just sleep in this."

The detective tilted her head in confusion.

"Oh…kay. You sure?"

Maura nodded.

"Yes. I had Dawn help me into these clothes when I got back from the hospital so that I wouldn't have to change. They should be comfortable enough for me to sleep in."

Jane didn't have to look very closely to see the hives making their appearance on Maura's chest.

"Maura…"

The medical examiner sighed.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Jane. I just didn't really think this through. I don't want you to… I'd like for you to stay. But I don't want you to be the one to help me get ready for bed."

She lowered her voice.

"I don't want you to see me like that."

For a moment, Jane had to fight the urge to protest. But when the detective thought about it, even though she didn't like it, she knew that she understood. She nodded.

"Okay," she said, smiling gently and leaning in to kiss Maura's temple before standing up.

"Have Dawn come back down to get me when you're ready, okay?"

Maura nodded, and Jane made her way to the door.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

The detective turned around to look at Maura as she opened the door to head downstairs.

"You know I'm not doing this to hurt you. I just…"

"I know, Maura. It's okay. I know."

They shared another smile, and then Jane made her way downstairs to get the nurse.

* * *

"Excuse me. Detective?" Dawn whispered.

Jane's eyes fluttered open as the nurse woke her from where she had been dozing on the couch.

"Is Maura okay?" the detective reflexively asked, immediately sitting up straighter and blinking her eyes a few times to wake herself up.

Dawn smiled.

"Yes, she's fine. I'm sorry it took so long, we just haven't gotten into a routine yet. Still finding our way around things and all that. But she's ready now."

Jane smiled up at her as she slowly picked herself up off the couch and made her way back towards the stairs.

"I'll be back around 7 in the morning."

"Okay, thank you, Dawn. Have a good one."

"You too, detective."

Jane waited until Dawn was out the door, then she double-checked all the locks and made her way upstairs. Unsure whether or not Maura was still awake, she quietly cracked open the door and snuck across the dark room to the bed. As she gently laid herself down, as far away from Maura as possible, she noticed the medical examiner's head turning to look over at her with a smirk on her face.

"I'm not going to break if you bump into me, Jane. You don't have to sleep on the edge of the bed."

Jane scooted herself over a few inches, and Maura smiled over at her.

"I don't want to hurt you," Jane whispered, moving over another inch.

"You won't. You'd probably roll yourself into the CPM before you'd actually hurt me."

Jane looked down at the two machines, once again gently and slowly moving Maura's legs to keep the joints from stiffening overnight.

"Oh, so you're okay with _me_ getting a few bruises?" Jane joked, grinning as she slid herself over a few more inches.

"_And_ you've still got all the pillows," the detective pointed out, noticing that the pillows remained where she had put them earlier to prop up the medical examiner when she was upset.

"I don't need them all. You can take some back," Maura whispered, raising her arms a few inches and lifting her torso up off of the pillows so that the detective could grab a couple.

Jane hesitated, seeming to contemplate something, then she scooted herself over until her leg was up against the CPM, and reached across to gently pull the entire stack of pillows a couple of inches closer to herself. She reached her arm out across them and leaned back, then looked expectantly up at Maura.

"I think I'd rather share," she whispered to the medical examiner, who carefully laid herself back against Jane's arm. She felt the detective's fingers curl around her shoulder, softly running up and down her deltoid, and a smile made its way across her face.

"Comfy?" Jane asked, looking over at her with a grin.

Maura nodded, turning her head to look back at the detective.

"Yes."

Jane chuckled.

"You know, it's too dark to tell for sure, but I bet we're both smiling like idiots right now."

The medical examiner shrugged her shoulders.

"Speak for yourself, detective," she said with a smirk.

"Okay, _fine," _Jane laughed. "Well, I know _I'm_ smiling like an idiot," she corrected, stretching her neck to plant a kiss into Maura's honey blonde waves.

"Goodnight, Maura."

"Goodnight, Detective Idiot."

Jane's jaw dropped in an expression of mock horror.

"_Maura!_" she whispered, "Such a _snarky_ little sense of humor tonight! Who've you been hangin around with? I just... I don't know _where_ you've picked up such a bad habit!" the detective teased._  
_

They both laughed, and Maura leaned herself over to kiss Jane's cheek before snuggling herself back against the detective's side and closing her eyes.

"Goodnight, _Jane_," she said with a smile.


	34. Chapter 34

"Maura," Jane whispered, hating to wake up the medical examiner, but hating even more the thought that she would wake up on her own and wonder where the detective had gone.

"Mmmm?" the sleeping blonde replied without opening her eyes.

Jane couldn't help smiling at the sight.

"Maura, I need to get up for work," she whispered.

The medical examiner slowly opened her eyes and blinked a few times, staring at Jane as if trying to decide whether or not she was dreaming. After a few seconds, she looked down at herself and seemed to remember the reality of her situation, causing the look of contentment that had initially been on her face to change into one of thinly veiled sadness.

"I'll be back for lunch, though."

Maura shook her head.

"You _never_ take lunch breaks," she observed, her brow crinkling in confusion.

"I never _needed_ to before. You were always in the same building," Jane whispered back with a grin. "Want me to pick up anything on my way over?"

Maura smiled back at her, shaking her head. Before she could respond, they heard a gentle knock at the door and Jane swiftly scooted herself all the way across to the other side of the bed as the door opened, trying to casually appear as if she'd been there the whole time.

"Sorry to wake you," Dawn said quietly as she entered the room, "but it's time for you to take your medication, Dr. Isles."

Jane sat up and then stood the rest of the way up from the bed, glancing over at Maura long enough to notice that she'd, once again, managed to hurt her feelings.

_Christ, Rizzoli. _

"I'll just, uh… see you in a few hours, Maura."

The medical examiner gave her a weak smile, but Jane knew she'd made a mistake.

_What the hell are you _doing_? That nurse isn't gonna give a shit. She probably already thinks you're together, since you slept in the same damn _bed_ for crying out loud._

Jane made her way down the hall and the stairs, and was about to sneak out the front door when her mother spotted her from across the room.

"Good morning, sweetheart! How did you sleep?" Angela asked, coming over to give her a peck on the cheek.

"Pretty good, Ma. I gotta go, though. Still need to get a quick shower and change clothes before work."

Angela rushed over to the kitchen and grabbed a container of food that was sitting on the counter, handing it to her daughter.

"I thought you might try to take off in a hurry, so I made you some breakfast to take with you. Are you coming over after work?"

She nodded.

"I'll be back on my lunch break. And then I'm planning on coming over after work, too."

Angela winked at her and gave her arm a squeeze.

"Good girl. Drive safe, hon."

"Thanks, Ma."

* * *

_Surely she wouldn't have initiated a… a _cuddle session_ with you last night if she didn't have feelings for you._

_But if she truly does have feelings for you, then why doesn't she want anyone to know about them? She snuck into your room after everyone else had gone to sleep, and she would have tried to sneak back out in the morning before anyone else was awake if Dawn hadn't come in when she did._

_You need to talk to her._

_You let it go last time, but you can't just let this keep happening._

_You need to find out. You need to know. Before…_

"Are you all finished, Dr. Isles?" Dawn asked, noticing that the medical examiner didn't seem to be interested in eating the rest of her breakfast.

"Yes, thank you," Maura replied quietly, still lost in her thoughts.

_What if she says something that you're not going to like?_

_Are you ready to hear it?_

_You'd better be._

"Maura, honey, how did you sleep?" Angela asked with a bright smile, taking the handles of Maura's wheelchair and moving her from the dinner table over towards the couch. She picked up the remote and turned the TV on to the Discovery channel while Maura responded to her question.

"I slept very well, Angela. Sleeping with my legs in the CPMs will take some getting used to, but I do believe that they're helping."

"Glad to hear it, sweetheart," Mama Rizzoli replied, planting a kiss on top of her head. "I made you and Janie some lunch and put it in the fridge for later."

Maura smiled and gave her an appreciative nod.

"Thank you. You didn't need to do that."

Angela brushed off the comment with a shrug.

"Just taking care of my girls," she replied with a smile. "Bye, honey."

"Goodbye, Angela."

"Oh, Angela!" Constance called as she came down the stairs. "Would it be alright if I stopped by to have lunch with you today?"

"You're not staying with me for lunch, mother?" the medical examiner asked, confused.

Constance shook her head, smiling at her daughter.

"Isn't Jane having lunch with you, darling? I thought Angela and I could get to know each other a little more while you two enjoy yourselves."

The two mothers shared a knowing smile, and Maura pretended not to notice.

"I'm looking forward to it, Constance. Give me a call when you're on the way."

With one last wave goodbye, Angela was out the door.

"Would you be more comfortable on the couch, dear?" Constance asked, turning towards her daughter with a gentle smile.

Maura nodded.

"Please."

Dawn made her way back over to the living room and helped Mrs. Isles move the medical examiner onto the couch. She then disappeared upstairs for a few minutes and came back down with one of the CPMs.

"I thought we could get you set up with one of these for a few hours so you don't have to use them while Jane's here for lunch," she suggested with a smile.

"Of course," Maura replied with a weary smile of her own, lifting her right leg as the nurse helped her to situate it in the machine.

"In a couple hours we'll switch to your other leg. I'd bring down the other machine, but it looks like there's only room for one on the couch."

Dawn observed for a few moments, making sure that everything was working properly and that the medical examiner wasn't in an excessive amount of pain, then she walked over and sat down at the table to fill out some paperwork.

Maura tried to watch the TV, but despite believing that she'd slept well the previous night, she was exhausted.

_If I close my eyes, I can still _hear_ the documentary at least,_ she reasoned.

She was asleep before the opening credits had finished.

* * *

_You need to fix this. You're hurting her._

_Figure out what the _hell _is wrong with you so you can make it right._

_You say you love her, so prove it. Unless…_

_No. You do. You _do_ love her, don't you?_

_C'mon Rizzoli. You're an _adult_. Figure your shit out and stop hurting Maura. If you love her, then start _acting_ like it, for Christ's sake. And if you _don't_, then stop being an asshole and tell her the damn truth._

_But you don't _know_, do you? _Do_ you? Maybe you don't. Maybe you just _said_ it and you didn't really _mean_ it. Or maybe you're _scared_ because you _did _mean it but you're not sure you _want _it. Is that it? _

"Of course I meant it," Jane whispered, trying to convince herself as she stared at her computer screen.

"What was that?" Frost asked, peeking over his computer to look at her. "Did you say something?"

Jane snapped out of her thoughts, not realizing she had spoken out loud.

"Huh?"

Frost gave her a suspicious glance before repeating himself.

"I thought you said something. Were you talking to me?"

She shook her head and gave him a weak smile.

"No, sorry. I was just thinking about something. Must've been thinking out loud," she said with a small chuckle.

Frost studied her face for a minute, clearly concerned.

"You okay, Jane?" he asked quietly. "You've just seemed a little… _off _this morning. I haven't even seen you make a single coffee run."

She forced herself to smile.

"Yeah. Of course. I'm fine. I'm just… you know, I'm just worried about Maura. I think I'm gonna take an early lunch to go check up on her."

She could tell that she hadn't fooled her partner, but she also knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't press the issue. And she was grateful for that. He gave her a gentle smile.

"Tell Dr. Isles I said hello."

"I will, Frost. Thanks."

As Jane was heading for the door, he called to her.

"Oh, and Jane?"

"Yeah?" she responded, turning to look at him as she gripped the door handle.

He paused for a moment, looking uncomfortable.

"I know you want to take care of Dr. Isles, but… keep an eye on _yourself_, too. Okay?"

She smiled, this time genuinely.

"Thanks, Ma," she joked.

Frost shook his head and laughed, holding up his hands defensively.

"Alright, alright. Get out of here, then," he chuckled.

Jane paused before stepping out through the open door, looking back at her partner.

"Thanks, Frost."

He nodded and waved her out with his hand, a smile still on his face as she headed towards the elevator.

She got in and pressed the button for the ground floor.

_Take care of yourself._

The silence of the elevator ride was excruciating. The silence made it easier for her thoughts to penetrate her consciousness. And right now, there was only one thought bouncing around in her skull, over and over and over.

_What do you _want_?_


	35. Chapter 35

**I hope you're all still enjoying the story! Thanks again for your feedback and for continuing to read! I really appreciate all the support, and it makes me so happy to know that you're interested and excited to find out what's coming up. I think there's some good stuff ahead =)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The medical examiner awoke to the gentle sensation of lips being pressed to her forehead.

"Hey," Jane whispered, beaming down at her with a large plate of food in her hands. "I hated to wake you up, but it's time to eat."

Maura tried to scoot herself so that she was sitting up a bit more, but the action caused her to wince as a jolt of pain shot itself up through her leg. The detective quickly set down the food and reached out to grab Maura's shoulder, her face instantly etched with concern.

"You okay?"

Maura nodded slowly, swallowing down a cry of pain before it escaped her lips.

"That hurt a bit," she admitted with a grimace.

She looked down and noticed that her left leg was currently in the CPM, which meant that Dawn had switched it while she was sleeping.

"I've been using this all morning. It's probably safe to turn it off for a while," she said quietly.

"Oh! I'll take care of that for you, Dr. Isles," the nurse said, rushing into the room from the stairway. "Sorry, I was upstairs getting some of your things ready for later. Let me just…"

She reached over and carefully removed Maura's leg from the CPM, setting the machine on the floor across the room.

"Would you like to be put back in the chair, or would you rather stay on the couch?"

"I'm fine here. Thank you, Dawn," she smiled.

The nurse returned the smile and turned to Jane.

"I'll leave you to your lunch. Detective, if you could come up and get me before you leave so that I can set up the machine again, I'd really appreciate it. And, of course, let me know if you need help with anything."

She nodded.

"I can do that."

They both watched as the young nurse made her way back upstairs, and Jane reached over to grab the plate from where she had set it on the coffee table.

"I only brought one plate. Thought we could share, since I'm feeding you anyway," she said with a smile as she held up a forkful of food near Maura's mouth.

"Jane, wait."

The detective felt her stomach drop at Maura's tone. She knew what was coming. She'd been expecting it, but she still hadn't yet figured out what she would say. She set the plate back down and reached out to rest her hand on Maura's arm. The medical examiner closed her eyes at the contact, sighing before opening them again and staring straight at Jane.

"It's time to talk about it. Before…"

Maura didn't know how to finish the sentence. Before… someone gets hurt? catches them? does something they regret? She let the unfinished sentence hang in the air for a moment before continuing.

"You've changed your mind."

It wasn't a question, but Jane immediately shook her head and fixed her gaze on Maura's.

"_No_."

"I need you to tell me if you have, Jane. Things have been… difficult. Confusing. You could've… you could've _thought _you felt something that you didn't. I just need you to be honest with me. You don't owe it to me to keep… _playing along_ if you've realized that you don't… that you're not in love with me."

Maura paused, taking a deep breath before voicing her next thought.

"We can just try to go back to the way things were. Before."

The detective felt her stomach lurch and her chest tighten, her breath catching in her throat. She could tell that her mind was racing but she couldn't look past the pit in her stomach long enough to pin down any particular thought. It took her a few seconds to fully recognize what emotions she was actually experiencing… but then it hit her all at once. Fear. Disappointment. Rejection. Devastation. At the mere _suggestion_ of going back to the way things were. At the thought of _not _being with Maura. And something desperate seemed to click within her mind as she realized that _wasn't_ what she wanted.

Any doubts that had been swirling through Jane's head over the past couple of days suddenly didn't seem to matter. She may not have been sure about _everything_, but there was one thing she knew with absolute certainty.

She wanted _this. _She wanted what they had _become,_ what they were working _towards,_ not what they used to be. She wanted to fall asleep with Maura, and wake up next to her in the morning. She wanted to take an hour for lunch and spend it with her, even if that meant sitting through a lecture on why she should eat more kale and drink less coffee. She wanted to take her out on dates and hold her hand and kiss that _damn _Google mouth and be the one to love her the way she deserved to be loved. The way that _all_ of her, every inch, every quirk, every _piece _of her, deserved to be loved. She wanted to _be _with her.

She smiled. She knew that _Maura_ was what she wanted, and she couldn't believe she had ever been doubting it.

"Maura. I haven't changed my mind. I'm not just playing along. I don't _want_ to go back to the way things were before. I want _this_. _You_. I'm in love with you. I really am."

Jane could hear her own heartbeat in the painfully quiet seconds that followed. Then Maura spoke.

"Then why don't you want anyone to know? To see?" Maura asked quietly. "Why won't you kiss me?"

Jane sighed and ran a hand back through her hair.

"I don't know. I've been trying to figure it out, I just… I don't blame you for thinking that I'd changed my mind. I think for a while maybe I thought that, too. It was like… like I had said these things to you, that I _meant_, but… it just felt like... like part of my brain hadn't caught up with my mouth yet, or something. Part of my brain hadn't caught up with my _heart_ yet, if that makes any sense. I just didn't really know how to _process_ any of it. So, I was kind of just trying not to. And then I ended up hurting you, and that was the one thing I _n__ever_ wanted to do, Maura. And I'm so sorry."

She paused, trying to find the words to express all of the thoughts and emotions running through her mind. Trying her best to understand them, and to make Maura understand, too.

"I guess I was afraid that… that we wouldn't be able to go _back_, you know? I didn't know if we'd _want_ to go back. And kissing you… letting other people see what's happening between us… it all seemed so… so _final._ Irreversible. I was afraid that I would ruin what we have, because I wasn't one hundred percent sure what it was that we both _wanted_. What _I _wanted. But I'm sure, now, what I want. And I think I'm pretty clear on what you want, too."

She grinned over at the blonde, who was now starting to smile back at her.

"I just… I don't want to screw things up with you. You're_ it_. You're the most important person in my life, and I don't know if I could handle losing you if I mess it all up. You're my best friend, Maura. I _need _to do things right. For both of us."

The medical examiner locked her eyes on Jane's, ensuring that the detective listened closely to what she was about to say.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jane. You're _not_ going to lose me. I'm _with_ you, okay? Wherever this goes, I'm with you."

Jane gently ran her thumb across Maura's arm as she grinned happily over at the blonde.

"Then I guess there's only one thing left to do," she replied.

Maura's eyes moved down and settled on Jane's lips.

_Finally,_ she thought to herself.

"I'm going to take you on a date!"

The medical examiner quickly looked back up to Jane's eyes, confusion making its way across her face.

"I'm sorry… _what_?"

The detective chuckled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

"We have to go on a _date_, Maura. I'm not just gonna _plant_ one on you while we're eating Ma's leftovers on your couch. I mean, I _could_, obviously, but… _no_. I want to do it right. Our first real kiss, on our first real date."

Maura's jaw hung open in disbelief.

"Jane… I've been out of the hospital for _one day_. I can't go out in public like this."

The detective smirked, picking up the plate of food that had been forgotten and raising the fork up to Maura's mouth.

"Then we'll just have it here. Dawn can help get you all ready, and I'll bring us dinner or something. We'll have to chase off our mothers somehow, but I think I can take care of that."

Maura shook her head, but a smile was beginning to appear on her face, too.

"That sounds like a foolproof plan," she teased.

Jane grinned.

"It's gonna be perfect. Just wait. _Tonight_. I'll tell Dawn when I leave that she needs to get you all prepped for a hot date."

Maura raised an eyebrow.

"Aren't you forgetting something? I haven't even said yes," she pointed out. "You can't go on a date by yourself."

"Well, it'd be a lot _quieter_ without your Google mouth…" Jane joked, earning her a smile and an eye roll.

"_Fine_," the detective assented, "You're right. Let's make it official, then. Maura, will you go on a date tonight, with me, in your own house?"

"How could I possibly say no, when you put it that way?" Maura chuckled.

"So… that's a yes?"

The medical examiner laughed.

"Yes, Jane. I will go on a date with you, in my own home, tonight."

The detective grinned from ear to ear, then looked down at the plate of food still waiting to be eaten.

"Good. Now, let's eat some leftovers."


	36. Chapter 36

**Glad you all seem to be excited for the big date! That'll be next chapter, for sure! =)**

**Again, thanks for all your support for this story. I'm having a blast writing it! As always, your reviews are very much appreciated, especially as I try to find the right balance between the crime/action and the relationship. And I also want to say that I appreciate your patience as I kept things (Rizzles-wise) rather slow for a while. I really felt that it was realistic for Jane to feel kind of caught up in what was going on and unsure of what she was feeling, and to need a little push from Maura to finally force herself to figure out what her deal was. Thanks for hanging in there! =)**

* * *

Jane figured that, if she'd ever be in a good enough mood to handle Dr. Pike, today was the day. Her lunch break with Maura had lifted her spirits so much that Korsak and Frost teased her about the size of her grin when she came back to the office.

"I'm guessing lunch with Dr. Isles went well?" Frost asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure did. I've got a _date_ tonight," she happily replied, dropping down into her chair and lacing her hands together in front of her stomach.

"A date? With Dr. Isles?" Korsak questioned, not bothering to hide the smile on his face.

"And you're _telling_ us about it? You _must_ be in a good mood."

Jane just chuckled and stood up, making her way out towards the elevators.

"Think I'll go see how Pike's doing," she announced with a wave of her hand as she left.

Frost and Korsak exchanged glances, shaking their heads and laughing.

"'Bout damn time," Frost said.

"Is this really their first date?" Korsak asked, his voice lowered to a whisper.

Frost laughed.

"I think it really is."

"Could've fooled me," the older man replied, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head. "I thought those two had something going for a _long _time."

"Pretty sure they _did_, Korsak. They just didn't know it yet," Frost pointed out with a chuckle.

* * *

"Good afternoon, Dr. Pike. Got anything for me today?" Jane asked cheerfully as she barged into the autopsy room.

He looked up from his work to stare skeptically at the detective as she made her way towards him.

"Uh…Good afternoon, Detective Rizzoli. I'm currently performing the autopsy on our latest victim, as you can see. Although it is quite difficult to properly _find_ anything in here when Dr. Isles consistently refuses to-"

Jane cleared her throat pointedly, raising an eyebrow to remind the doctor of what she had told him the day before. His eyes widened a bit and he stopped talking, leaning back down over the body to continue working.

"Have you _found_ anything, Dr. Pike?" she asked patiently.

He nodded.

"Careful examination of the body indicates that the spikes we found were driven down through the victim's hands and knees. They were then removed, and the killer bandaged the wounds using gauze and rehabilitative braces for the injuries."

_Yeah, that's great, but how about something that _isn't _painfully obvious?_

Jane simply smiled.

"Anything else, Dr. Pike? Like, maybe, a cause of death?"

"I'm having the lab run a number of tox screens to determine that at the moment, detective. It's very difficult to tell in these types of cases."

Jane turned around as she heard the door to the autopsy room open and shut, sighing in relief when she saw the smiling face of Senior Criminalist Chang.

"Hello, detective. It's good to see you down here again."

"Good to see you, too, Susie. Do you have the results of the tox screen?"

Susie nodded and walked over to hand them to Dr. Pike, who frowned as he read over them.

"I didn't request reports on snake venom, Senior Criminalist Chang. I think you've given me the wrong data. Seems fitting for a lab run by…" his voice trailed off when he met Jane's intimidating glare.

"I know you didn't specifically request it, Dr. Pike. But these are the results from the comparison test we ran to see if the cause of death for this victim was the same as the cause of death for the previous victims of this killer."

"What'd you find?" Jane asked Susie.

"The cause of death is due to the neurotoxin from the venom of an eastern coral snake."

Jane's brow lowered in confusion as she turned to look at Dr. Pike.

"Dr. Pike, didn't you say there were no bite marks? No scratches?"

"I did."

"Did you find any when you did a closer examination of the body?"

He shook his head.

"No, I did not find any similar scratches or bite marks to the ones found on previous victims. I was _certainly_ looking for a connection so obvious as that, detective."

Jane closed her eyes and felt her jaw clenching.

_It's amazing how Dr. Pike can frustrate me this much after I came in here with quite possibly the best mood that I've ever been in._

"Of course, Dr. Pike. And yet, our victim died from snake venom."

She paused for a moment as a thought occurred to her.

"Wait. You said there was a puncture mark from a hypodermic needle on her arm."

Dr. Pike nodded, leaning over to point to it on the victim's body.

"Yes. It appears that she was injected with something shortly before her death."

Jane nodded.

"Yeah. I'll bet she was injected with the venom. Is that possible? Would that work?" the detective asked.

_Maura would know that. Maura probably would've figured that out before Susie even came back with the results, although she never would have said a word about it until she had those printouts in her hands. _

She could practically hear the medical examiner saying, "_It's so _reckless_ to guess_."

The thought of Maura put a smile back on her face as Susie answered her question.

"Yes, Detective Rizzoli. That would certainly work. It would most likely be a more potent dosage as well, with this particular species, since it takes the coral snake longer to dispense the venom from their fangs than it takes other venomous snakes. That extra time wouldn't be necessary if the killer was injecting it directly into the bloodstream."

Jane gave Susie a pat on the shoulder and a proud smile.

"Dr. Isles would be very proud, Susie. Thank you."

She blushed, looking away for a moment before muttering.

"I only know it because of her. I… I researched it when I heard about…" her voice trailed off as she looked to the detective, hoping Jane would understand what she was trying to say. She did.

"We were _all_ worried about her, Susie," Jane said quietly.

"How is she doing?"

"Good. Really good, I think. She's out of the hospital, so we just need to get those tendons in shape and she'll be back here before you know it."

Susie sighed in relief, glancing over to make sure that Dr. Pike wasn't looking or listening before she whispered,

"Tell her to hurry back."

Jane chuckled.

"Oh, I _will_," she said in agreement, "And I'll tell her you were asking about her. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

Senior Criminalist Chang gave her a smile and then exited the room, leaving Jane with Dr. Pike. The detective only stayed for a few more seconds before heading for the doors, deciding not to press the boundaries of her patience by staying in the same room with him any longer than necessary.

"Let me know if you find anything else, Dr. Pike," she said on her way out.

He looked up briefly from his work to nod at her, a frown evident on his face.

"And Pike?"

He sighed, standing up and nearly rolling his eyes at her.

"_Yes_, detective?"

She lowered her chin and raised an eyebrow at him, staring him down.

"_Don't_ sit in her chair."

* * *

"There's no need to be embarrassed, Dr. Isles. I know it feels uncomfortable, but-"

Maura shook her head, closing her eyes and looking away from the nurse.

"I know, objectively, that this is part of your job. It's just going to… take some getting used to."

Constance knocked on the bathroom door, then cracked it open and stepped through.

"Could I help, darling?" she said gently, kneeling down next to Maura's wheelchair and placing her hand on her arm.

The medical examiner felt a lump rising in her throat as the first tear slid down her cheek. She laughed sardonically, rolling her eyes at herself.

"Here I go again," she said in frustration, shaking her head as more tears made their way down her face.

"Oh, Maura," Constance said quietly, hugging her daughter as best she could. "It's okay, darling. Don't be embarrassed. It's alright."

"I just… I know you've both already helped… but this just feels…"

Her mother smiled at her.

"We need to get you a bath, darling. We need to get you cleaned up."

"I know… just…"

She sniffed, then looked up at her mother with a sad smile.

"I guess Jane probably… wouldn't want to take me on a date like this," she said quietly, chuckling a little.

Constance smiled back at her and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sure Jane would want to take you on a date no matter what you looked like. But… I think _you_ might feel a bit better after freshening up. Yes?"

Maura nodded.

"If you'd be more comfortable with me, darling, I can help you instead of Dawn. Whichever you prefer, Maura. We're only here to help."

The medical examiner smiled and shook her head.

"No, mother. Thank you. I think… I think I'll be fine. I need to just get used to this."

She paused for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to speak again. When she did, she did so very quietly.

"But… afterwards… would you help me with my hair?"

Constance's face lit up at the question.

"Of course, Maura. I'd be happy to do your makeup for you, as well."

Her mother sighed, a sad smile replacing the excitement that she had felt a moment ago.

"I… never really helped you with those things when you were young."

Maura smiled back up at her.

"I know you would've, mother. If I'd asked."

Constance kissed her daughter on the top of the head, smiling at her as she stepped back towards the door of the bathroom.

"I'll be right out here if you need me, darling."

As her mother left, Dawn smiled gently at her and reached over to reposition her wheelchair next to the tub.

"Ready?"

Maura took a deep breath and nodded her head.

"I believe so. Let's just… get it over with."

"It won't be so bad, Dr. Isles. I promise you'll get used to it."

The medical examiner nodded again, smiling sadly as she realized the truth to those words.

"I know."


	37. Chapter 37

Maura was nervous.

Part of it was, of course, because she was about to go on a date with her best friend, whom she also happened to be in love with.

The other part of it was that Jane had been downstairs "getting ready" for over an hour, and she wouldn't let Maura come down to help or to watch because she didn't want to "spoil the surprise." The medical examiner was imagining the disaster that was surely befalling her kitchen at that very moment, and the thought caused her to simultaneously cringe and chuckle. She was quite anxious to see what "surprise" the detective had managed to come up with for their first date.

A gentle knock on her door jarred her from her thoughts, and she heard Jane speaking on the other side.

"Are you all dressed now? Ready?" the detective asked quietly. "Everything's good to go downstairs."

Maura smiled and took a deep breath.

"Come on in, Jane."

"I got you flowers, but I already put them in a vase downs-"

The detective's sentence caught in her throat when she opened the door and got her first look at Maura, all cleaned up after her stay in the hospital. Her face lit up at the sight.

"You look so _good_, Maura," she said, her eyes crinkling from the smile that took over her face. She leaned down to plant a kiss on the blonde's forehead, then stepped back to look at her again.

"I wanted to wear a dress, but… I thought this way I could at least cover up my knee braces," the medical examiner explained sheepishly, motioning to the gray slacks that hung loosely around her legs.

Jane shook her head, appreciating the strategic drapery of Maura's bright blue shirt and the effortless waves of her beautiful honey blonde locks. Even when she couldn't dress herself, the medical examiner still looked impeccable.

"This is perfect. I've always kinda liked it when you wear pants," she said with an uncharacteristically shy smile. It only lasted for a second before she smirked and pointed down at her own outfit. "You definitely make _me_ look like a slob, though. Sorry, I… kind of forgot to bring a change of clothes."

Maura chuckled as the detective made a face at the outfit she was still wearing from work.

"This is _you_, Jane. This is what you look like. This is who I wanted to go on a date with."

"Well, that's good," Jane said with a grin, "because there's no one else here to _be_ your date. You're stuck with me."

The medical examiner didn't say anything in response, just beamed up at the detective with a bright smile. Jane cleared her throat and motioned out towards the hallway.

"Shall we?"

Maura nodded, her heart starting to beat a little faster as their date was about to officially begin. Jane grabbed the handles of her wheelchair and pushed her down the hallway.

"Close your eyes while I take you down the stairs. I don't want you to see it yet."

"Okay," Maura whispered back.

Jane carefully maneuvered the medical examiner down the stairs and across the kitchen. With her eyes still closed, Maura was mentally visualizing the layout of her downstairs as the detective guided her through. She thought they would be stopping at the dining table, but she was surprised to find that Jane turned her chair and faced her towards the living room.

"Okay. Open 'em," Jane instructed.

Maura flicked her eyes open and felt her jaw drop.

"Jane… what did you _do_ to my living room?" she gasped, unsure herself of whether it was an expression of horror or delight.

The detective seemed to panic for a moment as she assessed whether or not Maura was upset.

"Wait… don't be mad. I can take it back down, it's not a big deal. I'll clean it up. I should've asked first, sorry…"

As the initial shock wore off, Maura's face transformed into an amused grin and she let out a chuckle.

"You built a _fort_ in the middle of my living room?" she asked.

Jane allowed herself a tentative grin as she replied,

"Well… yeah. I thought it would be kind of fun and… I don't know. I wanted it to feel like your home without really _feeling_ like it's just your home, you know? Sorry. I should've checked with you first, but-"

"Jane. Come here."

Maura waited for the detective to lean down so she could kiss her gently on the cheek.

"I'm not upset. I love it. I've never had a fort before."

The detective pulled back, a look of disbelief crossing her face.

"Are you serious? _Never_? Not even when you were a little kid?"

Maura shook her head, still smiling as she remembered.

"Never. I guess I… never really had anyone to build a fort _with_. And I don't imagine it would've been fun on my own."

Jane smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze as she pushed the wheelchair over to the entrance of the giant blanket fort.

"Lots of firsts tonight, then," she said with a grin.

Maura couldn't help leaning forward to peek inside the fort before Jane had her wheelchair situated in the entrance. To the left, the detective had arranged a number of plates that she'd covered so Maura couldn't tell what was being served, surrounded by a number of candles and a large, fragrant bouquet of greens and purple blossoms.

"Before you spout off the statistics on fires started by irresponsibly placed candles or something, the candles are fake. They run off of batteries, I think. No flames. I just didn't want it to be too dark in there."

Maura smiled brightly, nodding.

"It's a nice touch, Jane. I'm impressed."

"Oh, _and_," she pointed to the bouquet, "I told you I brought flowers. Just so you know I'm not lying."

"I'd like to smell them. Can we go inside?"

Jane raised her eyebrows as she smirked.

"Well… yeah. That's… that's pretty much why I built it."

The medical examiner rolled her eyes as she laughed.

"I _meant_, would you help me to go in _now_, please?"

Jane smiled and knelt down next to the chair.

"Yeah, definitely. I didn't know if you'd want to stay in the chair, so I tried to build it high enough. But-"

"Will you be sitting on the floor?"

The detective nodded.

"Then I'd like to sit on the floor, too."

Jane grinned as she stood up and locked the wheels on the chair, helping Maura to scoot herself towards the front. Then she tucked an arm under the medical examiner's legs and another behind her back, lifting her from the chair and setting her gently on the ground inside the fort. Next, she moved the chair out of the entrance and came back to help get Maura comfortably situated, with her back leaning up against the couch on the far side of the fort and her legs pointing towards the opening of the fort.

"Comfy?" she asked with a grin, sliding herself in between Maura and the plates of food.

Maura looked up at the blankets hanging overhead as she nodded, a bright smile on her face.

"Yes. This is… it really is kind of fun, being in here."

"Told you," Jane said proudly.

"But the flowers! I wanted to smell them," Maura remembered, looking over to the bouquet.

Jane grabbed the vase and held it up, watching intently as the medical examiner closed her eyes and took in the aroma. She tilted her head quizzically as she opened her eyes back up and carefully seemed to observe every inch of the bouquet, then looked over at Jane with an expression that could only be described as a mixture of amusement and adoration.

"Jane…"

"Is it lame? I didn't know if it would be lame, but I don't really know that much about flowers. I should've just gotten you… like… _roses_ or something," the detective said, embarrassed.

_Yeah, you should've gotten _real_ flowers._

Maura laughed, leaning over to rest her head on Jane's shoulder.

"It's actually really cute. I like these so much better than _roses_, Jane. It's much more personal."

Jane smiled, relieved.

"I just thought, you know… kale is really leafy and green, and you're always telling me that I should eat it. But they had this weird kale there with these big purple blossoms in it-"

"Ornamental kale?"

"Yeah, ornamental. So, I thought it would be kind of funny if I got that. But then I remembered that you also liked the flowers they had at the Dirty Robber-"

"Lavender."

Jane smiled at the medical examiner, raising an eyebrow and causing her to blush as she chuckled.

"Sorry," Maura said with a grin.

"As I was _saying_," Jane teased, "I knew you liked the _lavender_ from the Dirty Robber, and it was purple, too, so it matched that fancy kale they had. So, I asked if they could just throw some kale and lavender in a flower thing and sell it to me. And they did… but they threw some other stuff in there, too, "to even out the display." Whatever that means. Make it look pretty, I guess. I don't know, I think she said they put-"

Maura was skeptically eyeing the flowers now.

"Smells like… rosemary? And I believe I can see some larkspur…"

Jane chuckled and reached her arm around Maura to pull her in and plant a kiss on the top of her head.

"Didn't know you were a flower expert," she said, lowering her voice to a whisper, "but I'm glad you like them."

"They're perfect, Jane," Maura whispered back. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," the detective replied, beaming back at her. "Ready to eat?"

Maura lowered her chin and skeptically raised an eyebrow.

"Did you cook?"

Jane laughed and playfully nudged her with her shoulder.

"_No_. Well, sort of. But mainly no. I just wanted to get stuff that would be easier for me to feed you without making a mess."

She noticed the questioning look on Maura's face and decided to elaborate.

"Okay, well… I made _part_ of it. _Meaning_… I made the peanut butter and fluff sandwiches _and_ I cut the crusts off," she said with a grin, taking the tin foil off the top of the first plate.

She carefully removed the foil from the other three plates, then pointed at each one as she explained the menu to her date.

"I got some of those sweet potato fries that you like from the Dirty Robber, so if you decide to start munching on the flowers I got you, I guess I can only blame myself."

Maura rolled her eyes as she laughed.

"I told you, Jane. The lavender goes quite well with-"

"Right, right, it tastes good together, I _know_. But… you do know you're still eating _flowers_, right?"

She smirked at the playfully annoyed expression on Maura's face.

"So, I got those. And I got some grapes. And I also brought one of Ma's espresso brownies to split for dessert."

"Keep making fun of me, Jane, and I may just have to eat that whole brownie _myself_," Maura teased.

"Go ahead. Then maybe I'll just decide to turn on the baseball game instead of the documentary I was going to force myself to sit through for _you_."

Maura laughed and wrinkled up her nose, shaking her head.

"No baseball on our first date, please. But… we probably shouldn't watch a documentary on the family Filoviridae viruses while we're eating, either."

"The _what_ now?"Jane replied with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've been sitting around memorizing the TV Guide all day," the detective teased.

Maura shook her head, preparing to defend herself from the joke.

"There is nothing abnormal about checking the TV listings, Jane. It just so happens that I was very interested in watching this particular documentary."

The detective stared at her quizzically as she asked,

"So, you're DVRing it?"

"…Maybe."

Jane laughed, then gave her shoulder a squeeze as she whispered,

"S'okay. I'm DVRing the game, too."

She planted a kiss into the blonde curls next to her, then reached over to grab one of the bite sized sandwiches she had made.

"Open up!" she exclaimed, waving it in front of Maura's face.

The medical examiner rolled her eyes as she took a bite, unable to help the smile that crossed her face at the detective's enthusiasm. She chewed for a bit, watching as Jane picked up her own sandwich and bit into it. Then the smile slowly faded as she watched the detective reach over to grab something else to feed her.

"This is kind of sad, isn't it? That you have to sit here and feed me like a _child_ on our first date," Maura said quietly, after she'd finished chewing.

Jane frowned and shook her head.

"It doesn't have to be sad," she replied softly. "If it makes you feel any better… I certainly don't _mind_ doing it."

She paused for a moment before quietly adding,

"I'm just really glad you're here."

The medical examiner smiled sadly.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Jane. And I'm glad I'm here with _you_."


	38. Chapter 38

**Part II of the big date! This will probably be the last update before next weekend, but I will be continuing to work on the next chapters as I have time throughout the week. I hope you guys have enjoyed the first date! As always, your reviews and support are very much appreciated! I love reading all of your comments =) Enjoy!**

* * *

"Jane, that did _not_ happen. You're making this up."

The detective threw up her hands in defense, laughing as she spoke.

"I'm not, I swear. You literally thought I was your wife. And you…" she paused to catch her breath as she laughed, "you were _so_ upset because you were convinced that someone had stolen your wedding ring!"

Maura glared at Jane, a chuckle breaking through despite her doubts about the story.

"Well… I certainly don't _remember_ that," she said with a sheepish grin.

Jane continued to laugh as she popped a grape into her mouth.

"Like you'd admit it even if you _did_," she retorted, holding up the last grape for Maura.

As the medical examiner chewed, she leaned her head over to rest on the detective's shoulder.

"You okay? Tired?" Jane asked quietly, peering down at her to check.

Maura smiled, closing her eyes.

"Happy," she said.

Jane gently laid her head over onto the blonde's, smiling to herself.

"Me, too."

"Wish I could hold your hand," the medical examiner said, so softly that Jane almost missed it.

The detective looked down at the white plastic splints covering Maura's hands and wrists, protecting her fingers from being accidentally bent and damaging the recently repaired tendons. She gently grabbed the edges of Maura's left hand, the one closest to her, and turned it over so that the medical examiner's wrist was facing up. The gauze covering her sutures was wrapped the entire way around her palm and the base of her fingers, but her thumb was still exposed, as were the rest of her fingers from about the knuckle to the tips.

"Am I allowed to touch your fingers? If I don't bend them?" Jane asked quietly, as Maura raised her head to look up at the detective.

"I… suppose you can."

She seemed unsure, and Jane didn't want to risk hurting her.

"It won't hurt?"

Maura shook her head.

"I don't think so."

"You have to tell me. If it _does_ hurt, you tell me right away."

The medical examiner smiled up at her.

"I will."

Jane watched her own hand closely as she moved it towards Maura's, pausing for a moment before gently letting her fingertips brush the medical examiner's. She looked over at the blonde expectantly.

"Okay?"

Maura nodded, relishing the light touch of the detective's fingers against her own. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sensation in her fingertips, smiling broadly.

"Okay."

Reassured that she wasn't hurting her, Jane carefully moved her fingers so that they were resting between Maura's, and then looked back over to the medical examiner's face. Her eyes were still closed, and she was still smiling, but the detective needed to check.

"Still good?"

Maura nodded.

Jane lightly curled her fingers and gently began to rest some of the weight of her hand against Maura's, being careful to balance it on the uninjured heel. She realized that she was holding her breath, concentrating so intently on not hurting the medical examiner. She let out the breath and looked over to see that Maura was watching her, still smiling contently.

"Alright?" Jane whispered.

"Perfect."

The detective sent her an affectionate grin, gently wiggling her fingers a little as she said,

"See? We're holding hands. Now it's a _real_ date."

Maura chuckled, her eyes sparkling happily.

"Oh! I forgot the brownie!" Jane exclaimed suddenly, carefully turning to break off a piece with her free hand, while being sure not to jar the one holding Maura's. "Did you decide you're going to share it with me, or have I been too much of a smartass?"

The medical examiner laughed and shook her head.

"Well, you're _definitely_ a smartass. But, strangely enough, I think that's part of the reason why I like you so much."

"You don't _like_ me," Jane countered with a smirk, reaching over to offer the bite to Maura. "You _love_ me."

Maura raised an eyebrow at her as she leaned forward to accept the dessert. As she grabbed it, Jane felt the medical examiner's lips lightly brush against her fingers, and her heart seemed to stop for a moment as she immediately got the distinct feeling that every nerve in her body was shooting their attention to those two fingertips. Maura seemed to notice, as she looked up with a smirk.

"Your pupils just dilated," she observed coyly, chewing the brownie delicately and swallowing it down as the detective stared at her.

Jane opened her mouth to shoot back a smart remark, but instead she felt her free hand reaching up to cradle the far side of the medical examiner's face as she leaned in to press her lips to Maura's. She closed her eyes, gently taking Maura's lips in her own and smiling reflexively.

_Finally_.

When Jane felt her lower lip brush against teeth, she knew that Maura was smiling, too. The detective pulled back and opened her eyes, her heart pounding as she felt herself melt into the unadulterated happiness radiating from the expression on Maura's face. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips gently to Maura's dimple, resulting in a delighted chuckle from the medical examiner which she happily caught between her own lips, enjoying the feel of Maura's laughter echoing through her.

It was gentle and unhurried, as they both simply enjoyed the intoxicating experience of their first kiss. Acquainting themselves with the subtleties of each other's lips. Relaxing into the sensation of something that was both entirely new and yet still somehow so familiar, so comforting. The medical examiner gently held Jane's lower lip between her own as they eventually pulled apart, letting it go only so that she could smile brightly and plant a kiss to one of Jane's dimples before she pulled back completely.

"Are dimples going to be a _thing_?" Jane joked quietly.

"Mmhmm," Maura hummed, leaning over to rest her head on Jane's shoulder.

The detective was silent for a bit, savoring the moment, but she broke her silence when she realized that the medical examiner's eyes were closed.

"You really _are_ tired this time," Jane observed softly, planting a kiss into her curls while waiting for a response.

"A little," Maura admitted, smiling despite her closed eyelids.

She opened them slowly and looked apologetically at Jane.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

Jane shook her head, smiling gently back at her.

"It's okay. You don't need to be sorry. Maybe _I_ should apologize, for putting you to sleep on our date," she joked.

The medical examiner laughed quietly, raising her head up to look at the brunette.

"This was the perfect date, Jane. I wish I wasn't so tired, so we could keep it going," she said with a grin.

The detective raised an eyebrow, smiling proudly.

"Success?" she asked.

Maura nodded.

"Definitely."

Jane carefully removed her hand from Maura's and kissed her on the temple as she stood up to go get the wheelchair. She lifted the blonde up and placed her back in the seat, then wheeled her over to the steps, where she paused and knelt down next to her.

"I think I'm gonna go ask your mom for a little help. I'm getting kind of tired, too, and I don't want to drop you down the stairs," she said with a smile, appearing slightly embarrassed.

Maura nodded.

"It's okay. She was going to help me get ready for bed anyway," the medical examiner replied with a smile.

Jane nodded and headed over to the guest house, coming back with Constance and working with Mrs. Isles to lift Maura up the stairs. Once they had the medical examiner safely in her room, Jane turned to head downstairs to clean up the mess she had made in Maura's living room, but the quiet voice of the blonde stopped her.

"You're staying again, right?" Maura asked quietly, as her mother headed into her closet to retrieve her pajamas.

"You want me to?"

Maura nodded, smiling.

"Please."

The detective couldn't help smiling broadly at the request.

"Of course I will," she replied. "I'll just go clean up while you get ready, and I'll be back up in a bit."

* * *

Jane hadn't quite finished cleaning up the fort when Constance came downstairs to get her, smiling happily across the room at her.

"She's all ready for bed, dear. I believe she's going to wait up for you."

The detective blushed, surprised that Constance knew about their sleeping arrangements. Maura's mother chuckled as she saw the confusion on her face.

"Where else would I think you were sleeping, Jane? The couch?" she said with a smile. "Go on up, dear. I'll finish with this mess."

"You don't have to-"

Constance raised her eyebrows at the detective in an expression that Jane was all too familiar with. She smiled.

"Okay. Thank you, Constance. I'll see you in the morning."

Jane headed up the stairs and into Maura's bedroom, sneaking into the bathroom to quickly brush her teeth before heading back out to climb into the medical examiner's bed. She scooted herself as close to Maura as possible, then turned her head to look over at her in the dark.

"Best date ever," the detective whispered with a grin, feeling her heart do a strange little flip as Maura turned to place a kiss onto her forehead with a sleepy grin of her own.

"You know, Jane, for such a self-proclaimed badass, you really are quite the romantic. I was very impressed with your attention to detail," the medical examiner whispered with an appreciative nod.

"Hey, I pay attention to things," Jane whispered defensively before adding as an afterthought, "but I'm still a badass, though, right?"

Maura chuckled as she nodded her agreement.

"Of course you are."

The detective rolled onto her right side so that she was facing Maura and leaned in to gently deliver a goodnight kiss, reaching her left hand over to rest on Maura's stomach as the right softly cradled the medical examiner's face.

"Goodnight," she whispered as she opened her eyes and smiled brightly.

She felt something brush against her left hand as she looked over to see Maura bringing her own hand up next to it on her stomach and gently draping her thumb over Jane's pinky.

"What if I move around in my sleep? I don't want to bump you," Jane whispered, concerned.

"Don't worry about it, Jane. You won't hurt me," the medical examiner replied with a smile.

The detective smiled back as she tucked her head against Maura's shoulder, her body curled up against the blonde's side.

"This definitely doesn't suck," she whispered, teasing Maura gently as she remembered when the medical examiner had made the same statement the day before.

Maura realized it, too, chuckling as she looked over towards the grinning face of the detective.

"Definitely doesn't," she whispered back with a grin. "Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight, dream date," Jane replied playfully, grinning into the darkness.

Maura's quiet laughter was the last thing she heard before drifting off, a smile still resting happily on her face.


	39. Chapter 39

_Jeeeeeeesus Christ, I need to find out where Maura buys her pillows,_ was Jane's first drowsy thought as she fumbled her way into consciousness, her eyes still closed as she fought off the inevitable need to get up for work.

She nuzzled her face further down into the cushioning, praying for a few more seconds of sleep, until she suddenly noticed that the pillow was moving. Very slowly, very rhythmically. Her eyes popped open and she gently pulled her head back, her entire face flushing as she realized where she had been laying.

_Maybe Maura didn't notice_, she thought as she slowly moved her face away from Maura's chest. But this hope was countered very quickly by the soft laughter of the medical examiner.

"Good morning," the blonde chuckled, clearly amused by Jane's embarrassment.

"I didn't… I was…"

A smile finally cracked through Jane's discomfort as she shook her head and repositioned herself so that her chin was resting against Maura's shoulder.

"I didn't do that on purpose," she said quietly, beginning to chuckle herself.

Maura raised her eyebrows skeptically before leaning over to plant a kiss behind the detective's ear, pausing to whisper with a coy grin,

"You could've just asked, Jane."

The brunette knew she was being teased but felt it necessary to defend herself anyway.

"I guess I must've just… moved a little while I-"

Her sentence was cut short as she looked down in a panic to where her hand had been resting, afraid that if she had been moving around during the night that she may have also bumped into the medical examiner's injuries. She let out a small sigh of relief when she saw that her hand was still resting on Maura's stomach, with the blonde's thumb still curled gently around her pinky. Maura smiled as she realized what had Jane so concerned.

"Your hand didn't move at all during the night, Jane. _You_ did," she teased, "but your hand stayed right there the whole time. I _told_ you that you wouldn't hurt me."

Jane smiled as she closed her eyes and snuggled herself in closer, a content hum escaping her vocal cords.

"Mmmmm, I don't wanna get up yet," she whined playfully, grinning as the shoulder she was laying against began to shake lightly from the happy chuckling of its owner.

"Neither do I. I have my first physical therapy appointment today," Maura replied, making a face.

"Do you need me to drive you?" Jane immediately asked, popping her eyes open to look up at the medical examiner.

"Oh, no. He's coming here. No transportation necessary. But thank you," the blonde said with an appreciative smile.

"Do you want me to… hang around for it? Or anything?"

Maura shook her head.

"Are you coming over for lunch?"

"Of course," Jane replied, as if it wasn't even a question. The blonde smiled back at her.

"Then I'll just see you at lunch. The session should be over by the time you get here."

"Okay. If you're sure."

The medical examiner was silent for a bit before looking at the clock and speaking quietly.

"We still have a few minutes before Dawn will come in to get me up. You can try to go back to sleep until then, if you'd like."

The detective shook her head.

"Nope. Got something else to do," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh," the medical examiner whispered, sounding crestfallen. She had been hoping to enjoy a few more minutes with Jane before they had to go their separate ways. The detective caught the flicker of disappointment and grinned up at her.

"I meant _this_," she chuckled, leaning forward to gently kiss the medical examiner in what she considered to be a proper 'good morning.'

"This is an acceptable alternative," Maura replied with a grin, after Jane had pulled back to look at her.

The detective smiled and placed a soft kiss to the corner of her jaw.

"We really did go on a date last night, right? I didn't dream that, did I?" she joked.

The medical examiner smiled and nodded her head, eyes sparkling.

"It was real. And it was perfect."

She paused to lean her forehead against the detective's.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Jane was about to respond when they both heard a knock on the door. The detective sighed softly, closing her eyes as she placed one final kiss to Maura's lips before she sat herself up and prepared to go downstairs.

But just to make sure that Maura knew her doubts had been left far behind, she waited until Dawn was in the room and then gently lifted the medical examiner's hand from its resting place to plant a soft kiss to the blonde's fingertips. When she saw the bright smile spread across Maura's face, she knew the medical examiner had gotten her point.

"I'll see you at lunch, Maura," Jane said with a grin.

Then she got up onto her feet and was out the door.

* * *

The detective stared down at the photograph of Colby Martin that she was holding in her hands. He looked so unremarkable, so charming, so safe. But even just the sight of him made Jane's blood boil. Worse, it opened up a pit in her stomach that wouldn't go away.

As she looked down at his face, smiling up at her, seeming to taunt her, all she could see was _that day_. She could only see the terrifying image of Maura, covered in blood, dying right in front of her. She could hear her cries of pain, she could feel the-

"Jane? Are you okay?" Frost asked gently, taking his eyes off the road only for a second to look at her.

Her trance broken, she looked over at her partner and nodded.

"It's driving me crazy, Frost. That we haven't caught him," she replied after a moment, jaw set in frustration.

"We'll get him, Jane. We just need to keep looking. There's gotta be something we're not seeing."

He lowered his head to peek at something through the windshield, flipping on his turn signal and pulling into the parking lot of a tiny, local pharmacy.

"This it?" Jane asked, craning her neck to look at the run-down building.

Frost shrugged.

"Must be. 'Sullivan's Rx.' This is the right address."

"I thought it would be… nicer," Jane said as they stepped out of the car.

"Some of these local places are running on fumes. They've barely got enough to pay bills, let alone renovate."

Jane shook her head sadly, making a face as she stepped over a dead animal in the parking lot on their way to the front door of the premises.

"So our vic was one of… how many pharmacists here?" she asked.

Frost shook his head, unsure of the answer.

"Don't know. That's part of what we're here to find out."

As they stepped through the front door, Jane heard the sound of bells overhead, alerting the employees that they had visitors. Only a few seconds later, an older man came around the corner to greet them with a smile on his face.

"Hello, folks. What can I do for you?" he offered politely.

"We're homicide detectives for Boston PD. I'm Detective Rizzoli, and this is my partner, Detective Frost. We're here about Lisa Garven."

The shop owner nodded gravely.

"I'll help however I can," he said quietly.

Jane peeked at the man's nametag, then held up the picture of Colby Martin that she had in her hands.

"Mr. Sullivan, do you recognize this man?" she asked.

The older gentleman squinted a little as he leaned in to look at the picture, nodding his head after a few seconds.

"I couldn't tell you his name, but I'm pretty sure he used to be one of our regulars."

Jane and Frost exchanged curious glances.

"Do you remember the last time you saw him?" Frost asked.

Mr. Sullivan shook his head.

"Now that I _don't_ know. Must've been… probably a year or two. He hasn't been in for a while."

The detectives sighed in disappointment.

"Did he know Lisa?" Jane asked.

The shop owner nodded.

"If he was a regular here, he would've known her. She worked here for years. Any repeat customers would have dealt with her at one point or another, I'm sure."

"Do you have other pharmacists? Besides Lisa?" Frost questioned.

"Yeah, one other. Ray White. He's behind the counter now, if you need him."

Jane smiled politely and reached to hand him her card.

"Thank you for your help, Mr. Sullivan. Please give me a call if you think of anything else that might help us out. Do you mind if we speak with Mr. White for a few minutes?"

He shook his head.

"Like I said, anything I can do to help. Just ring the bell at the back counter and he'll be out."

Frost smiled and shook the man's hand, then the two detectives headed for the back counter to speak with the pharmacist. Jane looked around for a few seconds before tapping the bell, and smiled politely when Ray appeared from the back room.

"Can I help you?" he asked them, as they held up their badges.

"Boston homicide. Detectives Rizzoli and Frost."

"You're here about Lisa, I'm guessing," Ray stated with a shake of his head. "Any idea who did it?"

Jane held up the picture of Colby Martin.

"Do you know this man?" she asked quietly.

He nodded.

"Yeah, that guy used to come in all the time a couple years ago."

"Do you know if he and Lisa knew each other?"

Ray shrugged, scratching the back of his neck absently as he tried to remember.

"I honestly don't know. As far as I could tell, she knew him about as well as I did. Just that he was one of our regulars. I don't think there was anything… Is he the one?"

Frost ignored the question as he asked one of his own.

"Do you remember if there was any particular reason why he stopped coming in?"

The pharmacist shook his head.

"Nothing special that I can remember. He just stopped needing to fill any prescriptions, so he stopped coming in. Happens all the time."

Frost nodded and looked over to his partner, who pulled out one of her cards and handed it to the pharmacist.

"If you think of anything else, give us a call. Thanks for your help."

As the two detectives got back into the car, they were both disappointed that their trip hadn't really told them anything that they didn't already know.

"What I can't figure out is why he'd go to a pharmacy on the other side of the city from where he lives. There were at least two or three pharmacies just within walking distance of his house," Frost wondered aloud as he started the engine.

"Maybe he used to live over here? And just kept coming to this one when he moved?"

Her partner shook his head.

"He's lived at the same address for almost five years. Not anywhere close to here."

Jane was trying to continue with her train of thought when she felt her phone go off, and grabbed it to check the text message that had just come in from Maura, consisting solely of a tiny heart symbol.

Jane felt herself smiling broadly as she responded with the same, only realizing after she'd sent the response that she didn't know how Maura would have managed to send her a text message in the first place.

"What's going on over there?" Frost teased, chuckling at the mixture of confusion and happiness playing out on his partner's face.

She pointed down at her phone, shooting him a playful glare before speaking.

"Just got a text from Maura, but I have no idea how she managed to text me when she can't use her hands."

Frost shrugged.

"Maybe she had her mother type you a love note," he suggested with a smirk.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny. Just drive," she shot back with a grin.

Jane pulled her phone back out and opened the text back up to look at it a second time, and felt herself smiling again at the comforting feeling it gave her. She didn't know how Maura had sent it, but it sure had its desired effect. She looked out the window as they drove, temporarily forgetting the terrible circumstances that had led them to where they currently were. She just thought about Maura, and how happy the medical examiner had already managed to make her after one date. And her smile lasted the whole way back to the station.


	40. Chapter 40

**Happy weekend, everyone! I've got exams coming up here over the next couple weeks, so I don't know if that's going to effect how many chapters I'm able to get finished. I'll definitely still try to get at least a couple finished on the weekends. Thanks for reading and for your reviews! Feedback is always appreciated! Enjoy! =)**

* * *

Jane reached out for the doorknob and found that, for once, it was actually locked. She smiled to herself, glad that her scolding had finally gotten through to the medical examiner, and bent down to pick up a small package that was waiting on the doorstep. She tucked it under her arm and pulled out her keys, unlocking the door and making her way inside.

"Hey, Maura," she called out as she secured the door behind her.

There was no response.

"Hello?" she called again.

She jumped when she suddenly heard footsteps coming down the stairs next to her.

"Sorry, dear. We've been up in the yoga room," Constance explained to the confused detective. "Dr. Jamison thought it would be the most convenient place for her physical therapy."

Jane smiled.

"How's she doing?" she asked quietly.

Constance nodded.

"She's doing alright. It's… it is a bit painful for her right now."

She lowered her voice before continuing.

"I believe she also may be getting a bit frustrated that she can't yet do more than she is."

"I can't blame her for that," Jane said with a shake of her head.

"No. No, we certainly can't," Constance agreed. "Why don't you go on up and sit with her for a bit, dear. She's almost finished, but I think she'd appreciate your company."

With a final smile at Maura's mother, Jane headed up the stairs and down the hall to the yoga room. She peeked in the doorway before going in, frowning at the look of discomfort on the medical examiner's face as the physical therapist gently used his own hands to slowly curl the fingers on Maura's right hand into a ball.

"Hey," Jane said quietly, giving her best supportive smile as she stepped into the room.

Maura looked up in surprise, trying to smile past the pained expression on her face.

"Didn't know you were here yet, Jane," she replied. "I believe we're almost finished."

"We certainly are," Dr. Jamison flashed Jane a bright smile, nodding enthusiastically as he turned back to the medical examiner. "You've been doing great, Dr. Isles. I know it's really uncomfortable to be doing these exercises, but if you keep pushing through it like you have been, I think you're going to see some excellent results."

He reached down into a binder next to his chair and pulled out a packet of papers, handing them to Jane as she took a seat in the chair next to Maura, where Constance had been sitting.

"I've already gone over the execution of these particular exercises with Dr. Isles and with her caregiver, so I'll let her explain them to you as she sees fit. These should be done every two to three hours, every day. It'll help restore strength and flexibility to the tendons in her knees and hands."

He turned back to the medical examiner.

"It's very important that you stick with what's instructed. I know it's frustrating right now to be limited with what you can do, but it's in your best interest. If you push yourself too far, you'll only set yourself back. I'm sure you already know that, Dr. Isles, but just keep it in mind. You've been doing great so far. I'll see you in a few days."

He smiled at them both as he packed up his bag and left the room, and Jane waited until she heard him leave before speaking to the blonde. She pulled out her phone, holding it up to show the text that she had received earlier.

"Is this a normal part of physical therapy?" she asked with a grin.

Maura smiled back at her, shrugging her shoulders.

"Should it be?" she asked coyly.

Jane chuckled and leaned in for a quick kiss, still smiling as she pulled back.

"Did you have someone else send it for you?" she asked.

At this, the medical examiner grinned proudly and shook her head.

"No. After Dr. Jamison began some of the preliminary exercises, he asked me to bend all of my fingers down towards the palmar region of my hand. I was able to do it without too much discomfort, and I just got a bit excited. My mother had my phone with her, and when I saw it, I just… I asked Dr. Jamison if he thought I would be able to send you a quick text, and he said that it shouldn't do any harm if I kept it short. Of course, I had to set the phone on my lap and just kind of poke at the buttons, since I still won't be able to grip things for a few more weeks, but…"

Jane smiled and reached over to give Maura's leg a little pat, letting her hand rest just above the top of the knee brace.

"It was a great surprise."

She paused for a moment, then added with a grin, "Just don't hurt yourself trying to send me little love poems through the phone."

Maura chuckled and playfully nudged her hand away.

"I'm certainly a long way from being able to text you _poems_, Jane."

She held up the hand closest to the detective and gently wiggled the tips of her fingers in a wave, smiling broadly.

"I can wave, though! The splint makes it slightly difficult… but I can do it if I'm careful."

Jane smiled back and gently reached out to lower Maura's arm, shaking her head as she chuckled.

"That's great, Maura," she lowered her voice to a whisper, teasing, "but I don't think you need to wave at me when I'm sitting right next to you."

The detective grinned and then continued, more seriously, "You've been at this PT stuff for a while now. Maybe you should just let your hands have a little rest. I don't want you to push yourself too hard."

The medical examiner let one hand come to rest on Jane's leg, looking at it with a mischievous smile as she lifted it just slightly and began to slide her fingertips slowly up the detective's thigh. She gently wiggled her fingers and playfully raised an eyebrow, chuckling as she saw Jane's eyes immediately dart down towards her leg in bewilderment.

When Jane felt Maura's fingers lightly dancing over her pant leg as they travelled further and further up, she was surprised by how immediately it seemed to effect her entire body. She felt a tiny shiver at the sensation, and noticed that she could hear her own heartbeat, wondering if Maura could hear it, too. The look on the medical examiner's face told her that she knew _exactly_ what kind of effect she was having on the surprised detective.

"So _this _is what you learn in physical therapy?" Jane joked with a raise of her own eyebrows. "The… _physical _art of seduction?"

Maura laughed and moved her hand back down to a more innocent location on the detective's leg.

"I guess now you'll never know," she shrugged, grinning innocently.

Jane's jaw dropped in mock horror.

"You… you _guess_? Maura… did you just _guess_?" she teased.

Maura glared playfully at the brunette, her eyes suddenly landing on the package that Jane had put on the floor when she entered the room. Jane saw where she was looking and decided to continue teasing.

"Did Dr. Jamison tell you it was safe for you to start online shopping again, too?" she asked with a grin.

Maura shot her another look as she shook her head.

"_No_, Jane. I don't believe that was part of the session," she retorted with a smile. "But I _do_ remember ordering a pair of Jimmy Choo peep toes before… um…"

Jane didn't particularly want her to dwell on the circumstances surrounding her shoe purchase.

"Not sure this is really a big enough box for shoes, Maura. Probably someone sending you a get well present."

Maura's eyes lit up a bit as she tilted her head and smiled.

"Do you think so?"

The detective shrugged.

"If it's chocolate, can I have it?" she asked with a grin, watching happily as Maura laughed and nodded her head.

"I suppose I would _share_ with you," the medical examiner conceded as Jane pulled at the packaging tape.

"You know, scissors are very useful for cutting through tape, Jane," Maura suggested with a polite smile.

The detective paused to glare playfully at her.

"I don't need scissors, _Maura_. It's just tape. I got this."

She struggled for a few seconds before finally pulling up one end of the tape and ripping it the whole way across the top of the box.

"Can I do the rest?" Maura asked quietly, smiling hesitantly over at the brunette.

"Do you think you should? I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"All that's left is for me to pull up the flaps, Jane. I can't imagine it would hurt anything, if I'm careful."

The detective sighed and gently placed the box on Maura's lap.

"You can _hold_ it," she tentatively agreed, "but I think you'd better let me do the pulling. I just really don't want you to hurt yourself."

The medical examiner appeared disappointed for a moment, but nodded anyway as she watched Jane pull open the flaps. She squinted down into the box, but couldn't see anything past the crumpled up newspaper that had been used for padding. Jane reached her hand in and began blindly pulling out a huge clump of the newsprint.

As she lifted the fistful of paper out of the box, she noticed something dangling down out of her grip, caught between the clumps of paper. She heard a choked cry from Maura and registered the instant panic of the honey blonde's face as she reflexively attempted to lean back, restricted by her inability to get up out of her wheelchair.

Jane knew it was a snake before she even managed to get a good look at it. A _dead_ snake, but still a snake. And it looked just like the one… A disgusted shudder ran up her spine as she quickly dropped the dead creature back into the box, then grabbed the box off of the medical examiner's lap and carried it quickly down the stairs and out the front door, holding it at arm's length the entire time.

With the box safely outside the house, she dialed her partner.

"Frost, I need you at Maura's house, please," she breathed.

"Is everything okay?" her partner asked, hearing the distress in her voice.

"It's okay, but I just need you to come here. Bring Korsak. We have a… another message from Colby Martin."

She heard Frost sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Damn. We'll be right there, Jane. Just stay safe."

Jane hung up the phone and looked down at the package in front of her. As much as she hated to take it back inside, she knew she couldn't leave it outside in case there was any useful evidence to be found. She grabbed the corner with the tips of her fingers, pulling it inside the front door just enough to get the door closed and locked, then dropped it and started up the stairs.

"Is everything alright, Jane?" Constance asked from the living room, looking up from the work she was doing at the table.

"Yeah, it's, uh… just don't touch that box over there," the detective fumbled, retreating up the stairs before needing to explain herself further.

"You okay, Maura?" Jane asked as she approached the yoga room. She let out a deep breath and a half chuckle as she turned into the doorway. "I definitely wasn't expecting th-"

Her heart instantly dropped when she saw the medical examiner's shoulders shaking as tears silently poured down her face, the silence broken only by the sharp inhale of the blonde as she ran out of air to cry with.

"Maura…"

Jane rushed over and reached out to pull the medical examiner into a hug, but stopped when the blonde reflexively shrank away from her touch. The detective tried not to feel hurt as she stooped down to look up into Maura's eyes, reluctantly placing her hands on the arms of the medical examiner's wheelchair since she couldn't wrap them around her in an embrace as she so desperately wanted to.

"Maura, it's okay. I'm right here. You're safe. It's gone, Maura. I took it downstairs."

She couldn't tell if her words were helping, but she felt herself saying them anyway. The medical examiner nodded and tried to say something in response, but couldn't seem to find enough steady air to form the words. She was shaking so much that Jane could feel it through her grip on the arms of the wheelchair.

"It's okay. It's okay," she continued to chant as she sensed that Maura's breath was beginning to slow.

"I'm… I'm so-sorry," Maura forced out between sobs.

"It's okay, Maura. You don't have to be sorry. We're fine. I've got you. You're safe."

Jane wasn't sure how long they stayed that way, but eventually Maura's breathing began to slow and the tears came to a halt. Jane slowly raised one of her hands up to the side of the medical examiner's face, feeling a sense of her own relief when Maura didn't shy away. She brought her other hand up to the far side of Maura's face so that she could wipe the tears from beneath her eyes and look at her as she spoke quietly.

"You alright?"

Maura nodded.

Jane sighed and raised herself up enough to rest her forehead against the medical examiner's, letting her hands come to rest gently on Maura's shoulders.

"I should've known better than to open that stupid package. I should've been more careful, Maura. I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot," she whispered.

"No, Jane. You're not. How… would he know where I live? You d-didn't know," Maura replied softly, interrupted by her sporadic breathing as it continued to slow to normal.

The detective placed both hands on either side of Maura's face as she moved her lips up and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead, then returned to their previous position.

"I'll figure this out, Maura. I'll keep you safe."

"I know you will," the medical examiner replied, smiling weakly up at her. "I don't know _w-why_ I started crying so hard… most likely the presentation of a n-negatively associated stimulus-"

Jane chuckled quietly.

"_There_ you are," she said with a tentative smile.

Maura smiled back at her, allowing herself a small chuckle, too.

"We're just waiting for Frost and Korsak to come pick that thing up and take it to evidence," Jane said in an attempt to reassure the medical examiner. "They should be here soon. Want me to take you downstairs to sit with your mother?"

She nodded.

"Thank you, Jane."

The brunette smiled down at her, then grabbed the handles of her wheelchair and began moving her out of the yoga room. And she tried to pretend that everything really was okay. But she knew that it wasn't.

_He knows where she lives._

_He's been here._

_And you let him get to her. Again._


	41. Chapter 41

**Okay, I hope to be able to get another chapter finished before the weekend is over, but I'm not sure whether that's going to happen or not. Until then, I hope you enjoy this one! As always, your reviews are very much appreciated! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Enjoy =)**

* * *

Maura knew that everyone was talking about her. They were doing a quite poor job of attempting to hide it, in her opinion, considering that they kept turning around every few seconds to look at her. She was laying on the couch, one leg propped up in the CPM, and she could see them all standing over by the door. She could hear them talking in hushed voices, but she couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

But she knew that they were talking about her. As if she was incapable of being an active participant in conversation. As if she was unfit to be involved in decisions regarding her own safety. She knew it was because they cared about her, but that did nothing to keep her frustration at bay.

The medical examiner strained to pick up bits and pieces of their conversation.

_It's rude to eavesdrop._

_I don't care._

"… she wants… see her like that?" she heard Korsak whisper quietly.

"…maybe you… just get this back," Jane whispered in response.

"It's alright, Jane. They can come in," Maura called across to the group, trying not to sound as aggravated as she felt.

There was silence for a few seconds, then the slow approach of footsteps as Frost and Korsak walked over to her living room and stood next to the couch. They were smiling down at her, and she was somewhat relieved to see that they appeared to be true smiles of care and not of pity.

"It's good to see you, Dr. Isles," Korsak said quietly.

"I wish it was under better circumstances, Sergeant Korsak. But, thank you. And it's good to see you as well, Detective Frost."

Frost nodded.

"Good to see you, too, Dr. Isles. Sorry you had to deal with… _this_… while you're trying to get yourself all rested up," he said sincerely.

She managed to smile over at him.

"Thank you."

The detectives exchanged awkward glances before Jane cleared her throat and spoke to them from where she was standing directly behind the couch.

"Thanks for coming so quickly, guys. Really appreciate it."

Korsak nodded.

"That's what we're here for, Jane. You two just take it easy the rest of the day, alright? We'll get this back to the lab and let you know what we find."

Frost and Korsak headed towards the door, waving at Maura on their way out. Once they had left, Jane made her way around to the other side of the couch, motioning towards it with a questioning expression on her face. Maura nodded, and Jane gently lifted the medical examiner's torso and sank into the cushion, piling pillows up onto her lap and letting Maura rest back against them. She raised a hand up and gently ran it through the medical examiner's honey blonde waves, smiling happily when Maura closed her eyes and relaxed into the gesture.

"You're not going back to work today?" Maura asked quietly after a few seconds.

"No. I don't want to leave you alone," the detective responded just as softly.

"I'd hardly be _alone_, Jane. My mother and Dawn are both here all day."

She turned to look up at the brunette, who was frowning down at her.

"You know what I mean, Maura. I don't feel comfortable leaving you after what just happened. Are you trying to tell me that you actually _want_ me to go back to work right now?"

The medical examiner shook her head.

"No. I don't."

Jane shrugged and smiled down at her.

"There you go, then. We agree that I should stay with you."

Maura sighed and turned her head to look down at her feet.

"Of course I _want_ you here with me, Jane. But… I don't want to take you from your work, either. Especially when I _know_ that you'd rather be out there trying to catch the guy who… who did all of this."

"_Hey_."

The medical examiner quickly looked back up at Jane when she heard the quiet, yet commanding, tone of her voice.

"You're damn right I want to get this guy. But _you_ are my first priority. Not him. And you certainly don't need to feel guilty for wanting me here, because _I_ want to be here, too. Okay?"

Maura nodded silently, her eyes still focused on Jane's as the detective smiled affectionately down at her and gave her a little smirk.

"Of course, the _real_ reason I wanted to stay is because I'm just _dying_ to watch that documentary that you recorded last night. What was it about again? The… Flo… Rida… virus family?"

The medical examiner broke into a smile as she chuckled.

"No, Jane. Family _Filoviridae _viruses. I'm _certain_ you've heard of Ebola."

The detective tilted her head as she realized that she actually _did _know what Maura was talking about.

"So you wanna watch it?" she asked with a shrug.

Maura looked up at her, smiling skeptically.

"Are you actually _suggesting_ that we watch a documentary together? Or are you being sarcastic?"

The brunette laughed and reached for the remote, leaning over to plant a kiss on the top of Maura's head as she did so.

"Well, I'm not exactly pissing myself with excitement," she joked, "but I am _very_ comfortable on this couch right now. And whatever you want to watch, I will watch with you. Although, I'm not making any promises about keeping my mouth shut."

The medical examiner laughed and playfully nudged Jane with her shoulder.

"If I wanted peace and quiet, I wouldn't have let _you_ come sit with me," she countered.

Jane opened her mouth in mock protest.

"Honestly, Maura, I don't know _what_ you're talking about," she grinned as she pulled up the recorded documentary. "I'm _fascinated _by the family of… Philly… cheesesteak viruses."

Maura rolled her eyes as she chuckled, repositioning herself so that she could see the TV a little bit better.

"You good?" Jane asked, stretching an arm out across the back of the couch.

The medical examiner reached up and used her own elbow to gently nudge Jane's arm down and pull it against herself, wrapping it across her stomach and entwining her thumb with the detective's pinky.

"Now I'm good," she said with a smile, turning back to the TV.

Jane smiled back down at her.

"Me, too."

* * *

A muffled cry of pain woke Jane up, followed by another, slightly louder. She turned her head to see that Maura had been moved to a sitting position at the other end of the couch, and Dawn was instructing her as she performed some of her knee exercises. The medical examiner was biting her lip, eyes closed as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Jane immediately scooted herself down and placed one hand on Maura's lower back, the other gently resting on the arm closest to her.

"Sorry, Jane," Maura said, the strain evident in her voice. "I didn't… mean to wake you up."

The detective looked helplessly over at the young nurse flexing Maura's leg.

"Do you have to do this now? You're _hurting_ her."

Maura reached her hand across to rest on Jane's leg, shaking her head as she bit back another pained cry.

"It's not her… fault, Jane," she breathed as Dawn released her leg back down to a resting position.

She looked over at the detective and forced a smile.

"I have to do these every few hours. You heard Dr. Jamison. It's going to hurt, but I have to do it."

"Well, can't you just take some more meds or something? _Jesus_. I'm sure it's not supposed to hurt _that_ much."

Maura leaned over to rest her head against Jane's shoulder, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I don't want to take anything that I don't need, Jane. It's only the first day of therapy. It'll get easier."

Jane slowly ran her hand up and down Maura's back, shaking her head.

"I have a feeling _I'm_ the one who should be saying that to _you_, Maura," she said.

"Well," the medical examiner replied quietly, stretching across to place a kiss to the detective's cheek, "I'm sure you'll get another chance to."

Dawn replaced the braces on Maura's knees and gathered up the materials she had been referencing for the exercises.

"We'll need to do them again, after dinner, Dr. Isles," she said as she walked out of the room.

"Yes, Dawn. Thank you."

"Do you think I could help you later?" Jane asked quietly, once they were alone again.

Maura shook her head adamantly.

"That's not a good idea, Jane."

The detective seemed to become slightly frustrated at this quick response.

"Why? Why not? Dr. Jamison said you could explain them to me-"

"Dr. Jamison said I could explain them to you _as I see fit_. Jane…"

The medical examiner sighed and looked up at the brunette as she tried to explain herself.

"It isn't that I don't _want_ your help. I've _told_ you this. But… look at the way you just reacted. I _need_ to be doing these exercises, and I can't stop doing them just because it hurts. I don't want you to feel like _you_ are the one causing me to be in pain, and I know that's exactly how you'll feel if you're the one making me do these exercises while they still hurt this much. It can't be you, Jane. Not yet. That's not something I can ask you to take on."

Jane shook her head and sighed.

"You're trying to protect me again?"

Maura shrugged. The detective planted a kiss into her hair and leaned her head over to rest on top of the medical examiner's.

"You're an amazing person, Maura, but you have _got_ to learn that you don't have to do everything by yourself. I'm not mad that you won't let me help you with this. It's your choice. I get that. And I appreciate you looking out for me. But I just need you to know that I'm with you in this, okay? One hundred percent. Some things might not be easy for me. That's true. It won't be easy for me to watch you be in pain. But I can push through that just like you're pushing through _this_. I'm _with_ you, Maura. Whatever you need, I'm with you."

She felt the medical examiner cuddle in closer and gently kiss her neck, awakening every nerve ending in her body, before pulling back to whisper,

"I love you, Jane."

The detective smiled, reaching over to tilt Maura's chin up so she could catch the next kiss with her lips. Her hand found a resting place under the medical examiner's ear, with honey blonde curls brushing against her fingers as she closed her eyes and brought their lips together. She felt Maura's fingertips twitch against her leg, unable to properly grasp anything as the detective parted her lips just slightly.

Jane reached up with her other hand, securing it in the waves at the back of the medical examiner's head, as she deepened the kiss. The gentle affection that had initiated the moment was quickly being pushed aside to make room for the passionate desire that had lain dormant between them for so long, and Jane allowed herself to be lost in the kiss as the medical examiner surprised her by taking a skilled and confident lead. The detective was more than happy to follow.

Jane felt a quiet moan escaping through her vocal cords, causing the medical examiner to smile and push herself in even closer as they tried to remove all space between their bodies. But without the use of her hands, Maura was finding it difficult. The detective opened her eyes for a second and noticed the brief flicker of frustration on the honey blonde's face, and without a second thought she carefully reached her arms down and tucked them underneath of the medical examiner, scooping her up and relocating her to a much more convenient location, sitting sideways across Jane's lap. Maura responded by trailing kisses up her neck and reaching up to hook her elbow around the back of the detective's head, pulling them together as Jane let her own hands make their way up Maura's sides, her fingers cautiously asking to explore the uncharted territory in their path.

An eager and almost feverish nod from the medical examiner was the permission she had been looking for. She turned her own body so that she could support Maura's against the back of the couch as she slipped her hands underneath the blonde's shirt and ran her fingers up the warm skin, eliciting another soft moan, although neither could tell which of them had made the noise.

Neither of them heard the front door open or the footsteps in the hall.

"Janie, I just heard that- oh!"

Jane and Maura broke apart quickly and turned to see Angela smirking at them from the kitchen.

"Uh… hi, Ma," the detective mumbled as she caught her breath.

Angela raised an eyebrow at them and crossed over to the back door, making her way towards the guest house with a shake of her head.

"I was coming to check on you after what happened earlier, but you both look just _fine_ to me," she said in mock annoyance as she opened the door.

"Thank you, Angela," Maura chuckled as Mama Rizzoli gave them a wave and headed across to the guest house.

The detective and the medical examiner looked at each other and started laughing, resting their foreheads together as they continued to catch their breath. Jane pressed a kiss to Maura's dimple as she smiled, shaking her head.

"Feel like I'm sixteen again," the detective joked.

Maura laughed.

"Was your mother a frequent interruption in your teenage years, Jane?"

The brunette rolled her eyes.

"You have _no_ idea," she replied. "She somehow always seems to know the worst possible time to come barging in on me."

Maura raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Oh, really?" she asked with a smirk. "And just what were you planning on doing if she _hadn't_ walked in?"

The detective smirked back and playfully put her hands on Maura's chest, wiggling her eyebrows and eliciting a laugh from the medical examiner.

"I was going for second base," she joked, smiling as the honey blonde planted a kiss to her forehead.

Maura grinned and raised an eyebrow, leaning over to gently kiss the corner of the detective's jaw before lowering her voice and causing Jane's cheeks to flush as she whispered,

"Next time, you should try for third."


	42. Chapter 42

**This will probably be the last update until next weekend, although sometimes I say that and end up posting one during the week so WHO REALLY KNOWS. I certainly don't. Anyway, let me know what you think of this one! I'm really grateful to all of you who've been reading and reviewing, and I hope you all continue to enjoy the story! =)**

* * *

_Jane tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator seemed to take an eternity to deliver her safely to the basement. She burst through the doors into the autopsy room, the scowl on her face quickly changing to confusion as she saw, not Dr. Pike, but Maura._

"_Hello, Jane," the medical examiner said with a smile as she continued working on the body before her._

_The detective tilted her head in confusion._

"_What are you doing here?" Jane asked, taking a few steps closer to the blonde._

_Maura looked up at her and laughed, shrugging her shoulders._

"_What do you mean, Jane? I _work_ here," she replied._

_The medical examiner laid down her instruments and removed her gloves, walking over towards the taller woman with a mischievous grin and wrapping her arms around the detective's waist._

"_Were you hoping to see Dr. Pike?" she teased, pressing her lips gently to the sensitive skin at the base of Jane's neck._

_The detective merely shook her head, grinning as she grasped the sides of Maura's face and desperately sought the medical examiner's lips with her own. As Jane pushed herself forward to be closer to the blonde, Maura was pinned up against the cold metal of the autopsy table. She slid herself along its edge, leading the detective back towards the privacy of her office, never once separating her lips from the brunette's. Moving backwards caused them to bump into everything in their path, leaving a mess that would later need to be properly dealt with. But not now._

_Jane couldn't recall ever having felt a desire so strong as the one that currently drove her, her heart racing and her breathing heavy as she blindly followed the blonde into her office and kicked the door shut behind her. When she felt Maura's hands begin sliding underneath her shirt, running greedily across her abs and up firmly over her bra, she realized that her heart beat was pulsing strongest from a point far below her chest. The sensation caused her to moan into the medical examiner's mouth, resulting in a pleased grin from the blonde as she pulled the detective by the front of her shirt over towards the couch._

_The brunette nearly whimpered in displeasure when Maura pulled her lips away, but smiled and began breathing even heavier when the medical examiner expertly pulled her shirt off and over her head, reaching back to undo the detective's bra and drop it onto the floor. Jane reached out to do the same for Maura, but she shook her honey blonde curls and gently pushed the detective down onto the couch, climbing on top and straddling her as she gripped the brunette's belt and began to undo the clasp._

"_I want you, Jane," she rasped, pressing her hips down into Jane's before locking their lips together again, using her hands to explore the detective's newly exposed breasts, and eliciting another moan of pleasure from the brunette._

_Jane closed her eyes as Maura's hands trailed slowly down and began to make themselves at home under the waistband of her pants, expertly finding their way to the spots that made her moan even louder into the awaiting mouth of the medical examiner. Her own hands were tangled in the honey blonde curls of the woman on top of her, but her thoughts were focused solely on the indescribable pleasure being delivered to her by Maura's unremitting fingers._

* * *

Jane's eyes snapped open suddenly as a noise awakened her, her arousal still pumping through her veins and her breathing still a bit heavy. But it wasn't her own breathing that had drawn her from her sleep.

She turned her head to look over at Maura, whose chest was heaving as her breath seemed to catch. Her lips were moving, mumbling something that Jane couldn't understand, and her skin was glistening with sweat which had mixed with the tears slowly sliding down her cheeks.

"Maura," Jane whispered, eyes wide with concern.

The medical examiner was unresponsive.

"_Maura,_" she tried again, gently placing her hand on the blonde's arm.

A sharp intake of breath accompanied the opening of Maura's eyes, which darted around the room fearfully for a few seconds as she registered her surroundings.

"Jane?"

Her voice was barely above a whisper, laced with panic.

"I'm right here, Maura. It was just a dream. You're okay," the detective whispered, rubbing Maura's arm gently as she rolled over and pressed herself in closer against the medical examiner's trembling body.

Maura didn't say anything in response, her breath still coming in uncontrolled bursts as she attempted to calm herself down.

"You're safe, Maura. You're okay," Jane continued quietly, stretching across to place a gentle kiss to the base of the medical examiner's neck.

It immediately reminded her of the dream that she had been having, and what had happened after that kiss-

_Jesus! What the hell are you doing thinking like that when Maura's laying next to you _terrified_ because of an awful nightmare? _

She blinked and shook her head, still trying to wake up enough to push away the remainder of her own dream as she comforted Maura.

The medical examiner turned to look at her, eyes still wide as they appeared to examine every inch of the detective's face. Jane saw something moving out of the corner of her eye, and realized that it was Maura's hand, coming up to rest next to her face. It hovered for a few seconds as the blonde seemed to be deciding whether or not she would be able to touch the detective with the splint still covering her hand. Jane leaned her head towards it in encouragement.

She felt the plastic briefly brush against her chin, before Maura adjusted the angle of her hand, and then she felt light fingertips brushing against her cheek, then her forehead, then her lips. The medical examiner seemed to be verifying her existence, ensuring that her presence was real and not imagined. And after seeming to reach the conclusion that Jane was, indeed, real, her breathing finally began to slow and the trembling of her body ceased.

Jane's nerve endings were still on high alert, after feeling the real touch of Maura's fingers against her skin. It was a sensation that she knew she'd never be able to get enough of, and the images from her dream began creeping back into her consciousness.

_But you know she can't _really_ touch you until she's healed._

She shook her head again, trying to push away the thoughts.

_You're so selfish. How could you even _think_ something like that?_

"Jane," Maura whispered, bringing her back to the present.

The detective smiled gently at her as the blonde removed her hand from Jane's face.

"Are you okay?" the brunette asked quietly.

Maura nodded.

"I think so. Just… please, stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Maura."

The medical examiner looked away for a moment, seemingly embarrassed, then turned back to face the detective again.

"Could you… could you just hold me? Until I fall back asleep?" she breathed.

Jane didn't need words to respond to the request. She gently lifted Maura's arm and draped it across the medical examiner's stomach, laying her own next to it and interlocking her pinky with Maura's thumb. She nestled her chin down in the space between the blonde's jawline and collarbone, feeling the elevated heartbeat pushing through Maura's veins.

"Like this?" she whispered, feeling the medical examiner nod.

"Thank you," Maura whispered.

Jane gently delivered another kiss to the blonde's neck, waiting for Maura's heartbeat to slow and her breathing to become steady before allowing herself to finally close her own eyes. And when she did, the silence had made room for her thoughts to push their way back into her consciousness.

The thrilling thought of Maura's hands all over her body. The shame of being disappointed that her dream couldn't yet be a reality. And the worst… knowing how much it would hurt Maura if she shared these thoughts with her. How inadequate the medical examiner would feel. How much more hopeless and frustrated. She couldn't do that to her. So, she decided to keep it to herself. And, eventually, she managed to fall back to sleep.


	43. Chapter 43

**Okay for real this time, this is probably the actual last update before next weekend. But I already said that about the previous update so really I don't even believe myself anymore. IN ANY CASE, I hope you enjoy this chapter! And, as always, reviews and feedback are appreciated! =)**

* * *

"Jane, are you getting up?"

Maura couldn't help smiling over at the sleeping detective, despite the puddle of drool that had apparently slipped out during her slumber and pooled around the medical examiner's collarbone.

"Mmmfewmin," the brunette mumbled without opening her eyes.

Maura chuckled, leaning over to plant a gentle kiss to the detective's forehead. At the contact, Jane slowly forced her eyelids open and peered up into the smiling hazel eyes of the medical examiner. She closed her mouth for a moment, then seemed to realize that it had been hanging open and reached up to wipe at her lips with the back of her hand, making a face at the saliva that she wiped away. And then she looked down and realized that she had drooled all over Maura.

"Ew! Oh, God, that's disgusting. I'm so sorry, Maura!" she exclaimed as she sat up and quickly used the bottom of her shirt to clean up the puddle.

The blonde just closed her eyes and laughed, earning an embarrassed smile from the detective.

"Didn't mean to slobber all over you," Jane chuckled, then added as an afterthought, "although you _did_ slobber all over _me_ on the couch yesterday, so I guess that makes us even."

She grinned at the medical examiner, who simply raised an eyebrow.

"What are you trying to say? Should I just keep my lips to myself from now on?" Maura teased with a smirk.

Jane shook her head, still grinning, then leaned over to demonstrate her sincerity by capturing the medical examiner's lips with her own.

"Definitely not," she whispered after she had pulled away.

She planted a kiss to Maura's dimple, then laid herself back down next to the medical examiner. For a few minutes, neither said a word. They just enjoyed the quiet comfort of each other's presence. But, eventually, Maura broke the silence with the question that she had awakened the detective with in the first place.

"Are you getting up for work?" she asked quietly, secretly hoping that Jane would stay with her for another day, but unwilling to voice the request.

She felt the detective's head turning to look at her as the brunette's tangled curls lightly brushed against her shoulder.

"I was planning on it, but I don't really want to," Jane responded after a few seconds.

"You never _want_ to get out of bed, Jane," the medical examiner responded with a smirk, earning her a chuckle and a gentle kiss to her shoulder.

"Well, why would I want to get out of bed when I've got you in here with me?"

They both laughed quietly, but they also both knew that the statement was intended to be equal parts joke and sincerity. Maura smiled, leaning over to rest her forehead against Jane's.

"You've got bad guys to catch, detective," she said, "and I've got a very important date with my couch. I really can't reschedule."

Jane's jaw dropped in mock horror.

"You're seeing someone else?" she exclaimed.

When Maura rolled her eyes and playfully nudged the detective's shoulder, that was all the encouragement Jane needed to continue her dramatic charade.

"The _couch_! I should have known!" she wailed, burying her face against Maura's neck as the medical examiner's body shook with laughter.

"Oh, _stop_," Maura laughed. "I try to be funny and you always just have to steal the lightning."

This caused a burst of laughter from the brunette, who peered up with amusement at the bemused face of the medical examiner.

"It's 'steal your _thunder_', Maura," she laughed.

Maura tilted her head, brow scrunched in confusion.

"Are you sure, Jane? That doesn't make any sense. Thunder is simply the auditory accompaniment of-"

Jane silenced her with a kiss, smiling and shaking her head as she pulled away.

"I'm sure," she grinned.

She glanced briefly over at the clock, realizing that if she was going to work, she would need to actually get up out of bed in the very near future. She secretly hoped that Maura would ask her to stay, but wanted it to be Maura's decision.

"Maura," she began, sobering her face and voice, "I need to know if you're okay. I can stay back from work if you need me here. For _any _reason. Even if you just need me to change the TV channel for you, I'm in."

She smiled, feeling an incredible sense of warmth at the look of pure affection that Maura sent her way.

"I know, Jane. I know you'd stay if I asked. But I'll be fine. I'll see you at lunch?"

The detective smiled and nodded, leaning over for one last kiss before reluctantly rolling herself out of bed.

"Oh, and I've got uniforms posted outside your house all day," she added as she headed for the bathroom, "but if you need _anything_, you call me right away."

Her gaze involuntarily moved to the medical examiner's bandaged hands as she realized what she had just said. The next sentence poured out before she had the time to think it through, and she regretted it before the words had even completely left her mouth.

"Or just have Constance call me."

A flicker of hurt crossed Maura's face before the blonde covered it up with a half-hearted smile, and the detective felt awful for having drawn attention to her injuries.

"I'm so sorry, Maura," Jane whispered, "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Jane," the medical examiner interrupted with an adamant shake of her head. "You're right. I probably _would_ need to ask my mother to call you. There's no need to apologize for simply stating the facts. And… if I need anything, I will let you know."

Maura was trying to appear unaffected, to hide behind the facts of the situation, but Jane knew that she was still struggling. And every time she was reminded of something she couldn't do… it only made it more difficult for her.

_Stupid. You're stupid. Think before you speak, Rizzoli._

Seeing her reaction, being reminded of Maura's current physical limitations, brought back all the memories of the dream that she had experienced the previous night. What she had so selfishly been thinking, and how guilty she had felt about it. And how guilty she felt _now_, as she realized that the selfish thoughts were _still_ making their presence known. She tried to shut them up.

_That hurt look on her face when you even just mentioned the fact that she can't use the phone? That is _exactly_ why you can't talk to her about this. She doesn't need to be hurting because of _your_ selfishness. It was only one dream. You'll get over it._

She didn't realize that, as she was processing these thoughts, she had been standing completely still in the doorway to the bathroom, a troubled expression on her face.

"Jane… are you alright?" Maura asked, the concern evident in her voice and on her face.

The detective forced herself to smile.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good. Just gotta…"

She motioned towards the bathroom instead of finishing her sentence, walking in and closing the door, leaving the medical examiner staring silently after her.

* * *

"How's Dr. Isles doing?" Frost whispered to his partner as she sat down quietly at her desk.

She forced a smile.

"She's shaken up, but I think she's doing okay. Didn't want me to stay home with her, anyway."

Frost nodded, observing Jane's face as he considered whether or not to proceed.

"And you?" he asked after a few seconds.

"I'll be doing a lot better once we catch this son of a bitch," she replied honestly, "but thanks, Frost. Thanks for… you know, just checking in. I appreciate it."

He simply smiled at her in response, giving her an understanding nod.

"Jane! Got some news," Korsak called as he entered the room with a folder in hand. "Turns out the snake in that package was a scarlet kingsnake. _Looks_ almost identical to the coral snake, but not the same."

"So… what exactly does that mean?" Jane asked, her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "He just decided to send something that was a little easier to find, maybe? Still looked close enough to scare the hell out of Maura, though. Which I'm sure was his intention."

"Well, by itself, it might not have meant anything. But there's something else."

The detective raised her eyebrows expectantly, and Korsak flopped the folder down onto her desk. He continued speaking as she opened it and leafed through the contents.

"The lab pulled some prints off of the box, and they did _not_ match Colby Martin. But they _were_ able to find a different match. To this guy right here."

Korsak flipped over a few pages and pointed to a photograph of a seedy-looking guy whose face looked oddly familiar, but Jane couldn't quite place it.

"Should I know this guy?" she asked.

Korsak shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know how you would, but I guess it's possible. Think maybe he could be working with Martin?"

Jane closed her eyes, trying to match a memory with the face in front of her.

_Think, think, think. Where have you seen this guy before?_

_At BCU? No._

_Pharmacy? No._

_Hospital? No._

…_.. Wait._

Then it clicked, and she felt her teeth clench together as her blood boiled. She slammed the folder shut and grabbed her blazer, heading for the door.

"Where are you going, Jane?" Korsak asked in confusion.

She almost ignored the question, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She trusted both of the men who were now staring after her in concern, and she knew they wanted to help. So she would let them, or at least fill them in and let them decide what to do with the information.

"I've seen this asshole before," she said quietly as she walked back over towards them and lowered her voice.

Frost nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"He paid me a little _visit _while Maura was in the hospital. I don't know if he's working with Colby Martin or not, but I can tell you who he _is_ working for."

She sighed, her hands involuntarily clenching into fists at her sides.

"Paddy Doyle."


	44. Chapter 44

**I'm going to try to get out at least one more chapter this weekend, but I'm really swamped with course work right now so I don't know if that's a realistic expectation or not. I will try! Until then, I hope you enjoy this next chapter. As always, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! =)**

* * *

Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath, attempting to keep her anger at least moderately in check as she nodded to the guard and stepped through the open door. On the other side of the room sat Paddy Doyle, handcuffed and watching her intently with a smirk on his face.

"Detective Rizzoli. To what do I owe the pleasure?" he mocked as she took a seat across the table from him.

She sent him an icy glare, then slid a photograph over in front of him.

"This one of your guys?" she asked angrily.

He leaned forward to get a glimpse of the picture and looked back up at her with a smug grin.

"I think you already know the answer to that," he replied.

Jane let out a sardonic chuckle, shifting her body weight forward so that she was leaning on the tabletop.

"You're right. I do. So humor me."

Paddy nodded.

"Why do you ask?"

The detective raised an eyebrow and shook her head with a smirk of her own.

"No, no. _I'm _asking the questions."

She pulled the picture back towards herself and slipped it into its folder, then looked back across the table at the mob boss.

"You wanted Maura to tell you who it was that hurt her. And she wouldn't do it. But you know what? Somehow I doubt you just left it go at that. Am I right?"

Doyle shifted in his seat, ignoring the question. Jane leaned a little further across the table towards him, lowering her voice menacingly.

"Am I _right_?" she asked again.

"If you're asking whether or not I've had my guys on the lookout for the son of a bitch who hurt my daughter, on _your _watch, I might add, then the answer is _yes_," he growled. "Did you honestly _expect_ me to do nothing?"

Jane ignored the bait and continued her own questioning.

"So, by now, I'm assuming you know who did it."

"You know what they say about _assuming_, detective."

She took a deep breath, her teeth clenching as she slowly let the air back out.

_You need to keep your cool. He's just trying to piss you off._

"Do. You. Know?" she repeated slowly.

He smirked.

"Of course I _know_. You think I _needed_ Maura to tell me who it was? That phone call was never meant for her, Rizzoli. It was meant for _you_."

Jane continued glaring at him from across the table. Another baiting statement that she would have to ignore. But she could play that game, too.

"Well, Paddy, since you already know _so_ much about the case," she mocked, "I'm guessing you _also_ know that your friend here… the one in the picture I showed you?... yeah, he's working _with _the bastard that went after Maura."

The detective didn't know what reaction she had expected from Doyle, but it certainly wasn't for him to laugh at her.

"Oh, is that so?" he retorted. "And just what gave you that impression?"

She reached into the folder and pulled out photographs of the package that had been delivered to Maura's house. Jane slid them across the table as Paddy leaned forward to get a better look.

"Maura got a little delivery yesterday, as you can see. And guess whose fingerprints were on the box?"

He shook his head, still laughing as he leaned back in his seat again.

"I can't believe you ever made it past patrol, Rizzoli. You call yourself a detective?" he taunted.

She was silent, her glare intensifying as he continued.

"You find one of my guys' fingerprints on this package and you automatically assume he's working with the man who hurt my daughter?"

He paused for a moment to see if she would respond, and still she remained silent.

"Colby Martin didn't tell him to send you that package, detective. _I_ told him to send it."

This was the answer that Jane had been waiting for. She stood up, towering over the seated man as she pointed menacingly at him, her voice lowered to a terrifying whisper.

"For _me_. Right?"

Now it was Paddy's turn to be silent.

"The package wasn't for _her_, was it? It was for _me_," she continued, her voice beginning to rise. "You knew that Maura wouldn't be able to open it with her hands the way they are, so you figured it would be _me_, didn't you?"

The older man calmly replied,

"You needed to be sent a message, detective. To be reminded how easy it is for anyone to slip past your defenses. Maura isn't safe with you. She _thinks_ she is, and _you _seem to think she is… but you can't provide the protection for her that_ I_ can. You _let_ someone hurt my daughter, and they could easily do it again. You need to understand this before someone _does _hurt her again."

"_You _hurt her!" Jane yelled, using every ounce of her self-restraint not to leap across the table and grab him by the collar. "She was _there_ when I opened it! She was holding the damn _box_, Doyle!"

The detective stepped back from the table, placing her hand on her forehead as she paced across the floor, trying to calm herself back down. After a few seconds, she turned back around to glare at the unapologetic face of the mobster.

"Do you even _care_?" she asked in bewilderment. "Other than how she affects your _reputation_, do you care _at all_ about her?"

He didn't respond.

"You know, I had to wake her up, _terrified_, from some awful nightmare last night because of what you did. The first one since she's been home from the hospital. Because of what _you _did. Not _me_. I had to hold her just so she could fall back asleep. Because of _you_. And you say that you were trying to send _me_ a message? Trying to prove some point that Martin can still get to her when she's with me? Because _I'm_ not capable of protecting her?"

She walked back over to lean across the table, her voice lowered to a growl.

"I've got a message for _you_, Paddy. You want to keep your guys out there looking for Colby Martin? Fine. But you stay _the hell_ away from Maura. I might not have half of Boston on my payroll… but I'd _never_ do anything to hurt her. You were trying to scare me off? Make me feel so guilty and worthless that Maura would come to you for help? That we'd _want _your help? Well, your plan didn't work, Doyle. _Message not received._ I _can _protect Maura. I _will_ protect Maura. And I will protect her from _you_ if that's what it's going to take."

With a final accusatory glare, she headed back over to the door and knocked so that the guard would let her out. As she stepped through the doorway, she heard him call after her.

"What do you want?" she responded, turning back to look at him.

He seemed defeated. Not weak, but, perhaps, finally apologetic.

"You asked me if I care."

She raised an eyebrow expectantly, and he sighed.

"It may be hard for you to believe, but I _do_. I want to keep her safe, and the safest place for her is in my protection. I needed her to understand this. I _still _want her to understand. But, please… make sure she knows that I never meant to hurt her."

Jane didn't respond, turning on her heel without another word and making her way back out of the building.

* * *

The detective was quiet when she opened the front door to Maura's house, not wanting to chance waking her up from the nap that she was more than likely taking. She was a bit earlier for lunch than she had been the past few days, and part of her was actually hoping that the medical examiner _was_ still asleep so that she would have an excuse to shut her own eyes for a few minutes. But as she took a few steps towards the kitchen and looked over into the living room, she saw no one.

She turned and headed quietly up the stairs, making her way back towards the bedroom.

_The bed will be much more comfortable than a chair, anyway,_ she thought to herself.

But the bedroom was empty, too. And that's when her mind began to race, panicked thoughts starting to push their way into her consciousness.

"Maura?" she called down the hallway. "Constance?"

Her voice echoed from the walls of the empty house, and she jogged down the hallway peeking into the vacant rooms.

_Did she have any appointments today? Maybe she's at the doctor. Or they went to get lunch._

_Or maybe something happened._

She pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Maura's mother. It went directly to voicemail. She tried Maura's phone and got the same.

Her heart was beginning to pound as she willed herself to stay calm, but her mind was ignoring her efforts.

_Paddy was right._

_You should have stayed here with her._

_You can't keep her safe._

_No, stop it. This is what he wants._

A noise downstairs sent her hand flying to the holster at her side, and then she felt her whole body relaxing at the sound of Maura's voice calling her name.

"Jane? Are you here? I saw your car," the medical examiner called out, followed by the sound of the door shutting and being locked.

The detective had to refrain from sprinting down the stairs as relief flooded into her.

"Hey, you had me worried," she said as she quickly descended the stairs and peered into the questioning eyes of the blonde, sounding a bit more panicked than she had hoped. "I didn't know you were going anywhere today."

Maura smiled and glanced nervously over towards the living room where her mother was having a conversation with Dawn. Jane raised her eyebrows expectantly, kneeling down so that she could speak with her at eye level.

"Where'd you go?" she whispered.

"Could you take me upstairs, please? I want to tell you, but… I'd like to have this conversation privately."

Jane nodded, placing her hand on Maura's arm as she asked,

"Are you okay? Is everything alright?"

The medical examiner smiled and nodded.

"I'm fine, Jane. I just don't particularly want to discuss this in front of an audience."

The detective tried not to be worried by the vague explanation, instead turning and, slowly and methodically, hoisting Maura up the stairs.

"Does it get easier?" the medical examiner asked quietly as they reached the top, noticing that Jane wasn't anywhere near as out of breath as she had been in the past.

"I think so. Really bulking up my biceps," the detective joked, leaning down to kiss the top of Maura's head as she wheeled her back towards the bedroom.

"You want your legs in the… leg thingies?" she asked, pointing to the CPMs as she lifted the medical examiner out of the wheelchair and onto the bed.

Maura shook her head.

"Not right now. I'll probably use them once you leave, but… let's just relax for now."

"Sounds good to me," Jane replied with a smile, moving the bulky machines out of the way and helping to get Maura situated comfortably.

"You good?" she asked as she walked back over to the close the door.

"I will be," Maura said quietly, causing Jane to smile at the implication.

She crawled up onto the bed and scooted herself over, turning her head to the side so she could look into the hazel eyes staring contently back at her.

"Better?" she asked with a grin.

Maura nodded.

"So… what do we need to talk about? Where were you? I mean… obviously your mother already knows, since she had to _drive _you wherever it was, so why didn't you want to talk about it in front of her?"

"I had an appointment. And it was… a bit last minute," Maura replied quietly.

Jane shrugged.

"Well… okay. But why didn't you just say that downstairs?"

The medical examiner sighed, looking for the right way to explain something, and Jane rolled over onto her side so she could attend to her more carefully.

"I made the appointment yesterday. Well, _Dawn_ made the appointment for me. I wasn't going to, when I first got out of the hospital. I think…"

She paused for a moment to sigh again before continuing quietly,

"I'd convinced myself that I would be fine. That I could just forget."

As Jane began to realize where the conversation was headed, she reached over and wrapped her arm around Maura's middle, giving her a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"Research indicates that it is often beneficial to… and preventative measures are never a bad idea, but… I didn't know how you'd react, and-"

"How _I'd_ react?" the detective cut her off, incredulous.

Maura stared at her, unsure of how she should respond to the question. Jane didn't give her time to.

"You're going to a therapist, Maura, right? That's what you're telling me?"

The medical examiner nodded, preparing to defend her reasoning. But her logical analysis of the situation wasn't necessary.

"Why were you worried about how I'd react? This is good. I'm _glad_ you're going," Jane said with a smile. "But… why didn't you tell me about it? I could've taken you."

Maura was a bit caught off guard. She had expected at least a little disagreement from the detective, who had always seemed to find a laugh at the expense of "shrinks," as she called them. She had expected confusion, sarcasm, maybe even a bit of hurt or guilt. Acceptance and encouragement hadn't really crossed her mind as a realistic response.

"I just… I suppose I thought you would find it… silly. Anytime I've heard you speak about the idea of therapy, you make some type of joke. I don't… I didn't want to be part of your joke."

Jane shook her head adamantly, her brow crinkling in concern.

"You're not a joke, Maura. I would never laugh at you for that. Never. I'll laugh at you for _other _things, of course," she joked before sobering again, "but never something like this. I don't think it's a joke."

The medical examiner appeared to need some more convincing, and Jane was ready to give it. She sighed.

"I've never really told you much about… _stuff_, I guess, that happens on the job. Stuff that you don't see. And a lot of what happened… when I got _these_," she held up her hands briefly to indicate her scars, "I just don't talk about it much. Not because I _can't_. I just… don't."

She paused for a moment to pull herself back in a little closer to Maura's body, encouraged by the gentle touch of lips to her forehead.

"I talked to someone, after Hoyt… you know. And I've done it since then, too. Not all the time. Not even regularly anymore, but… for a while, I went a lot. And, actually, we kind of… we're _encouraged_, which is a polite way of making us go, any time somethin' real bad goes down. Just to kind of check in, I guess. Sorta like when you get in a car accident, you usually go to the hospital whether you're bleeding or not, 'cause there could always be something wrong that you can't see, you know?"

Maura nodded, smiling gently at the brunette. She waited to see if Jane would continue, and she did.

"Most of us… we just make jokes about stuff. We're sarcastic. We laugh at things that shouldn't be funny, because… it's the only way to keep yourself from falling apart sometimes. So, we laugh about the shrinks, and act like it's just a big joke. And sometimes, yeah, maybe it kinda feels like it is. But… really… and most of us would probably deny this if you ask, but… it really does help, I think. I know it helped me. And I think it'll help you, and… and I just want you to be okay."

The detective smiled and shrugged, pressing a soft kiss to Maura's lips to punctuate the end of her speech. The medical examiner reached down to interlock the tips of her fingers with the tips of the brunette's, giving them a gentle wiggle as she returned the kiss and pulled back to gaze into the deep, dark eyes that were focused on hers.

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Jane," she said sincerely, emphasizing it with another kiss. "I know it isn't easy for you to talk about."

The detective smiled and leaned in to rest her forehead against Maura's.

"It's easy when it's you," she replied quietly. "And it's even easier when I think it'll help you. You know I'll do anything to help you."

"Thank you, Jane," Maura whispered.

Jane smiled back at her, responding by placing a few tender kisses up her neck and then settling herself down with her chin tucked against Maura's collarbone. She stretched her leg out to slip one foot next to Maura's, grinning contently as the medical examiner rearranged her own feet to sandwich Jane's between them.

"Nap before lunch?" the blonde whispered with a smile as she placed a kiss into the messy curls of the detective.

Jane nodded, closing her eyes and smiling happily.

"Yes, please."


	45. Chapter 45

**This will probably be the last update before next weekend. I'll be working hard this week to make sure I can get more chapters out next weekend though! Thanks for your patience, and for sticking around to read/review! I hope you're all still enjoying it, and I hope you enjoy this latest chapter! =)**

* * *

Maura's eyes slowly opened as she peeked over at the clock. They had been napping for about fifteen minutes and the medical examiner was afraid that if they slept any longer, she would never be able to get Jane back out of bed and off to work.

_As much as I'd like to keep you here,_ she thought with a smile, leaning over to gently plant a few kisses along the forehead of the sleeping detective, _you need to be out there._

Jane began to lightly stir, her eyes cracking open to peer up at Maura with a tired grin. She opened her mouth as if to say something, then seemed to think better of it as she lifted her head to use her lips for a different purpose. Maura closed her eyes, smiling happily as Jane kissed her, relishing the sensation of the detective's hand lightly cupping her jaw and the thumb gently brushing back and forth across her cheekbone. A content hum escaped her mouth, causing Jane's eyes to pop open as the detective pulled back to press her lips to the dimple on the medical examiner's face.

"Why do you…"

Maura was silenced by another kiss.

"…seem to be…"

And another.

"… so enamored with dimples?" Maura finally finished, with a surprised laugh as the detective playfully nipped at the base of her jawline.

Jane smiled and shook her head, pressing her lips apologetically to the area where her teeth had just grazed.

"Not _all_ dimples. Just yours," she corrected.

Maura rolled her eyes, chuckling.

"Okay, _well_… so enamored with _mine_, then?"

The brunette propped herself up on one elbow so that she was looking down into Maura's eyes, waiting for her to smile again so she could sneak another dimple kiss. It didn't take long once the medical examiner figured out what she was waiting for.

"_Because_…" the detective began, leaning down to trail soft, slow kisses up Maura's neck, "dimples only show up when you smile."

The blonde had closed her eyes, reaching over to carefully rest her hand on Jane's shoulder as she nodded eagerly for her to keep going. The detective smiled into her neck as she continued.

"When you're smilin' like that…"

She made her way slowly up and along the corner of Maura's jaw, setting course back towards the medical examiner's lips.

"… when you smile, it means you're happy."

Jane brought their lips back together briefly before pulling away to quietly finish her explanation.

"And seeing you happy is the best feeling in the world. So…" she punctuated with a peck to the tip of her nose, "I love your little dimple."

Maura opened her eyes as she smiled affectionately up at the brunette, chuckling as Jane took the opportunity to kiss her dimple again. She looped her elbow around the back of the detective's neck, pulling her in closer so that she could return her lips to Jane's.

"_You_ make me happy," she said quietly, her lips brushing against Jane's as she spoke.

Her words seemed to have an invigorating effect on the brunette, who locked their lips back together with an intensity that thrilled Maura. It was as if Jane intended to _prove_ that she could make Maura happy, and the medical examiner's heart began to race with expectation as she felt the detective's tongue pushing itself through her lips.

Jane reached her left arm across Maura's body and planted it on the bed, giving herself more support as the medical examiner pushed back against her. The detective wobbled a bit as Maura's arm pulled down against the back of her neck. She glanced back over her shoulder and carefully placed her knee onto the bed between the blonde's thighs for added support, so that she could focus all of her attention on Maura instead of wasting energy trying to keep herself balanced in the awkward position that she had been in.

The medical examiner had closed her eyes as her tongue matched the same curiosity and desire that drove Jane's, but they popped open quickly when she felt the detective's knee make its first unintentional contact between her legs. It was a light touch at first, accidental as Jane shifted her weight back and forth to meet the push and pull of Maura's lips. The detective didn't even seem to notice the friction that her movement was causing between the medical examiner's legs, or the pulsing sensation emanating from between Maura's thighs and increasing with her rising heart rate.

When Maura let out a soft gasp, as Jane's knee rubbed against her with a suddenly increased amount of force, the detective pulled back quickly as her eyes widened with concern.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked between breaths.

The medical examiner closed her eyes and shook her head adamantly, using her elbow to pull Jane down so that she was practically lying on top of her.

"No, Jane. Definitely no..." she rasped, seeking Jane's lips again with her own.

The detective suddenly realized where her knee was located, and connected it with the hitched breathing of the blonde. She smiled into the kiss, moving her hips intentionally now in a rhythm that Maura's quickly matched, pushing up off of the bed and against her in a desperate attempt for more contact. Maura moaned softly into her mouth, and Jane's whole body shook with the thrilling sensation it gave her.

Maura lifted her other arm off of the bed and slowly, carefully reached it towards Jane's stomach. She slipped the end of the splint under the bottom of the detective's shirt as it hung loosely above her, and gently touched her fingertips to the warm skin underneath. Jane flinched for a moment, her breath catching, then she nodded desperately and sighed against Maura's lips as the blonde ran her fingertips up her firm stomach and stopped just below her bra.

She opened her eyes to see Maura's face, seemingly frozen with indecision as her fingertips hovered against Jane's ribcage. Deciding how, or if, she could proceed with her injuries still so delicate. This was what Jane had been afraid of. This was why she couldn't tell her about the dream. She was afraid that indecision would turn to disappointment or frustration or self-loathing if they continued, as Maura became more and more painfully aware of the things that she couldn't do.

Maura seemed to sense the detective's hesitation as she lifted herself to bring their lips together again, but she could tell that the urgency had gone out of Jane's kiss. The friction between Maura's legs had stopped, her hips fell back to the bed, and the moment had been lost. She knew it was her fault.

"I-"

Jane silenced her with a gentle kiss, shaking her head slowly.

"Sorry, Maura," she whispered.

The medical examiner felt her forehead crinkle in confusion.

"Why are you sorry?" she asked quietly as Jane carefully pushed herself up to a sitting position on the bed.

The detective shook her head, smiling gently at her as they both caught their breath.

"Just am."

Maura wasn't buying it.

"Jane."

The brunette looked over at her, unwilling to tell her what she was thinking. Unwilling to tell her about the dream. Unwilling to make Maura feel any worse than she was sure she already did. So, she decided to talk about the other thing she was still feeling sorry for. And maybe Maura would forget all about this… this other part. She sighed.

"I guess… I'm just sorry for the whole thing that happened yesterday. With the box. And now you're havin' nightmares about it, and I just… I should've seen that coming. I should've kept it away from you, and you never should've seen it. I'm so sorry."

"Can you help me sit up, please?" Maura responded, lifting her arms so Jane could wrap her own around the medical examiner's waist to lift her to a sitting position next to her.

Maura leaned her cheek against Jane's shoulder, looking up into her eyes as she gently laid a hand on her leg.

"It wasn't your fault, Jane. You don't have to apologize. I know you wouldn't have let anything happen to me."

She kissed her shoulder, earning a sad smile from the detective.

"I know I'm safe with you, Jane."

Jane looked over, locking her eyes on Maura's as she remembered the conversation that she had found herself in earlier that morning.

'_Maura isn't safe with you. She _thinks _she is…'_

That's what Paddy had said. And now… But _no_.

He was wrong.

This wasn't about who had more resources or who cared about Maura the most. This was about _Maura_.

Maura had chosen. She had chosen _Jane_. She _trusted_ Jane to keep her safe. And the detective was going to do everything she could to make sure that she was deserving of that trust.

_She _is _safe with me._

"Are you okay, Jane?" Maura asked in quiet concern.

The detective nodded, her resolve strengthened.

"I need to tell you something. And I'm hoping… I'm hoping that if I tell you, it'll make you feel safer."

Maura straightened up to attend better to whatever it was that she was about to hear.

Jane sighed and ran a hand back through her curls as she turned her body a bit to face the medical examiner more directly.

"I spoke with Paddy Doyle this morning."

She looked over at the medical examiner, waiting for a reaction. Maura's eyes seemed to darken a bit as she asked,

"Did he send someone after you again?"

Jane shook her head.

"I went to see him."

Maura's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Why? Why would you do that?"

The detective reached her arm over to gently lace her fingertips with Maura's as she sighed.

"I needed to talk to him, because… because the fingerprints on that box… they belonged to one of Paddy's men."

Maura tilted her head as she processed the information.

"Colby Martin didn't send that package here, Maura. It wasn't for you."

The medical examiner felt a mild amount of relief coursing through her veins, but the implication of what Jane had said wasn't lost on her.

"Paddy sent it?"

"Not for you, Maura. You're safe."

Maura shook her head.

"I'm not worried about _me_ right now, Jane."

The detective leaned over to kiss the top of her head, smiling gently as she placed her hands on either side of Maura's face. She pressed her lips to her forehead, then her cheek, then her mouth.

"You shouldn't be worried about _me_, either. I'm fine. You're fine. We're both okay."

"But, Paddy-"

"Paddy doesn't scare me. He doesn't trust me to take care of you. He thinks you aren't safe with me. But I want you to listen to me."

Maura nodded, never taking her eyes off of Jane's.

"I _will_ keep you safe. I will do _everything_… _anything_… to keep you safe. Don't you worry for a single second about Colby Martin, or Paddy Doyle, or anyone else, okay? Leave them to me. You just get better, and let me handle these clowns."

The medical examiner was silent for a moment before whispering with a shy grin,

"Am I allowed to worry about _you_?"

Jane smiled playfully, shaking her head.

"Nope."

"Well," Maura said with a quiet laugh, "that's too bad, because I'm going to do it anyway."

Jane chuckled, lowering her hands so that she could wrap them around Maura's back and pull her in for a hug. She buried her face in the medical examiner's neck, breathing her in as she smiled and left a few light kisses.

"I know you are," she replied simply.

Maura moved her hand up to lightly trace her fingertips along Jane's cheek, smiling as the detective closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation. Before she had the chance to explore any more, Jane turned her face towards Maura's hand to press her lips lightly against the exposed fingertips. The medical examiner thought she caught an almost imperceptible shake of the head as a flicker of sadness passed briefly across Jane's face.

The detective didn't give her time to ask about it, pasting on a broad smile and climbing off of the bed to retrieve Maura's wheelchair.

"Ready for some food?" she asked cheerfully, making her way over to help Maura into the chair.

They were just about to head downstairs when Jane's phone rang.

"Rizzoli."

Maura watched the detective intently as her shoulders sagged and her eyes closed, her free hand rising up to her forehead.

"Alright. I'm finishing up lunch and then I'll be right there."

When she hung up the phone, she noticed the medical examiner was staring up at her expectantly. She grinned as she teased,

"What'd I say about worryin'?"

Maura sighed in mock annoyance, trying to follow Jane's request.

But Jane was keeping something from her. Something that was bothering her.

And she found it impossible not to worry.


	46. Chapter 46

**So excited to finally get another update out! I'm hoping to finish a few more this weekend, so be on the lookout! As always, thanks for reading and reviewing. It makes me so happy to know that you're enjoying the story. =) Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Jane had a pit in her stomach the entire way to the crime scene. When she took the first few steps behind the counter at the pharmacy, that pit turned into a deep chasm.

"Jesus," she muttered with a shake of her head.

The lifeless body of Ray White, the pharmacist that she and Frost had spoken with only a day prior, was seated in a computer chair with his knees in black braces and his hands covered with plastic splints. Dr. Pike was kneeling down in front of the body, slowly turning the victim's arm and sliding up the shirtsleeve to examine the skin underneath.

"Good afternoon, detective," he said when he caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye.

"Hello, Dr. Pike," Jane replied curtly. "Do we have a time of death?"

The medical examiner turned to look at her as he spoke.

"Early stages of rigor mortis in the facial area would suggest that this victim has been dead for three, maybe four hours."

Frost crossed the room to greet her, adding,

"The owner found him about an hour ago. Said the victim was supposed to have opened by himself this morning, but one of their regular customers called Sullivan to complain that the store was closed. He drove in to find out what was going on, and he found… this."

Jane's eyes slowly scanned the room, stopping and narrowing on a pair of crutches leaning against the wall behind the body.

"He wasn't on crutches when we saw him yesterday, was he?" she asked her partner.

Frost tilted his head for a moment, thinking back to the previous day, then shook his head.

"No. He wasn't."

Jane carefully stepped around Dr. Pike and over towards the back wall, slipping on a pair of gloves and grabbing the metal frame of the crutches between two fingers. She gently pulled the first crutch out from the wall, her eyes immediately attending to a bright yellow post-it note stuck to the frame of the one behind it. The detective leaned in to read the message scribbled on the note, her free hand balling into a fist at her side as Frost leaned in to get a look, too.

"'How's rehab, Doc?'" he read aloud, his eyes flicking nervously over to examine his partner's face.

She replaced the crutch she was holding into its original position and stepped backwards, heat flooding into her chest. She was too angry to even speak, as her thoughts drifted to Maura and the fact that the medical examiner wasn't anywhere _close_ to being able to walk yet. The fact that she couldn't use her hands for _anything_ other than her physical therapy exercises, let alone have enough strength to support herself on a pair of crutches. The fact that it would be _weeks_ before she could even _stand_ without someone else holding her up.

Jane was sure that Colby Martin knew all of those things. And he was taunting them. Again.

"Jane," Frost said quietly, jarring her from her thoughts. "You should see this."

She turned around to face her partner as he looked down at the body. Dr. Pike had removed the splints from the victim's hands and the braces from his knees, and was now pointing at the bloodied puncture wounds left behind from what they all assumed had been another pair of railroad spikes.

"What am I supposed to be looking at?" she asked, her anger unintentionally seeping into the question.

"These puncture marks appear consistent with those found in the previous victim… however, the actual railroad spikes have been removed from the scene," Dr. Pike explained.

"They've already been bagged?"  
"No, detective. I can only assume that they've been removed by the perpetrator."

Jane's brow lowered in confusion as she processed the information.

"He took the spikes with him? Why the hell would he do that?" she wondered aloud.

Frost shrugged.

"It could be because he bandaged up the area, like he did with Lisa Garven, but… he still left those spikes at the scene last time. I have no idea why he'd take these with him."

"Maybe he's running out of spikes to use. Took this pair back with him so he can use them again," Jane said quietly. "Which would mean that he's already planning to kill someone else."

The thought sent a chill up her spine.

She let her eyes make their way back across to the face of Ray White, and she couldn't shake the feeling that his blood was on her hands. That their questioning had made him a target, and they had failed to protect him. Her partner seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Maybe he knew something. Martin wanted to shut him up," he suggested quietly.

"Yeah," Jane whispered.

After a few seconds, she shook her head and her voice began to rise as she added,

"Or maybe Colby Martin knows we don't have _shit_ and he's just toying with us."

Frost couldn't argue. Even though they knew _who_ was responsible, they still had no way of stopping him until they knew _where_ he was hiding out. And, so far, they didn't have a single clue.

"He can't possibly be this good, Frost. He can't _possibly_ be this _good_ at staying invisible. Honestly, where the hell would he _go_? Why can't we find anything?"

Her partner shook his head.

"It's not that we haven't found anything, Jane. It's just that none of it points us in any particular direction. Any information we get is always after the fact. By the time we get somewhere he's _been_, he's already long gone."

Jane closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"We need to try _harder_. There has to be a pattern, or… _something_. There is something here, and we aren't seeing it. _I'm_ not seeing it."

Before Frost could respond, Korsak entered the room with a shake of his head.

"Don't you put that on yourself, Jane," he said quietly. "We know you're doing everything you can."

He shared a pointed look with her partner, and she caught it immediately.

"What?" she asked.

Neither one seemed to want to answer her question.

"_What_?" she repeated, a little more loudly. "Somethin' you two want to tell me?"

Frost motioned towards the door, giving her a slight nod.

"We need to discuss something with you. In private, Jane."

"You sending me to the principal's office?" she joked.

Korsak seemed to force a smile as she shook his head.

"No. You're not in trouble. Just… this conversation is only meant for your ears."

She nodded as she followed the two men out through the store and into the parking lot outside the pharmacy. Jane looked around and didn't see anyone nearby, so she crossed her arms and widened her stance, readying herself for a conversation that she was sure she wouldn't like.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

After a few quiet seconds and an uncomfortable glance between Frost and Korsak, the older man spoke up.

"We need to talk to you about Dr. Isles," he said quietly.

_Yep. I already don't like this._

"What about her?"

Frost cleared his throat before taking his turn to speak.

"We were wondering if you've had a chance to talk to her. About what happened."

She narrowed her eyes, looking back and forth between them as she decided how to proceed.

"I've talked to her a little. Don't really want to bring up anything she's not ready to talk to me about. Why?"

Another uncomfortable glance was exchanged, and it seemed to be determined that it was Korsak's turn to answer.

"Jane… she could _know_ something. She could have seen something, or heard him say something. She could have information that could help us get this guy."

She shook her head.

"She hasn't said anything. She doesn't _know_ anything. If she did, I'm sure she would have told me."

Korsak sighed as he tried again.

"She could know something that she doesn't even _realize _she knows."

Frost nodded cautiously, adding,

"I know you aren't going to like this, but we really need to talk to-"

Jane took a step backwards, holding up her hands defensively as she shook her head in angered disbelief.

"I can't _believe_ you two are actually suggesting that I grill her for information. She's only been out of the hospital for a few days!"

Korsak's voice remained calm as he replied,

"You know just as well as I do that if it had been anyone other than Dr. Isles, we would've talked to her while she was still _in_ the hospital. Be reasonable here, Jane."

"Reasonable? You want me to be _reasonable_? Right, okay, yeah, let's be _reasonable_. Let's take a woman who's already having nightmares about what happened and ask her to relive the whole situation _all over again_. Yep. That sure sounds _reasonable_ to me," she snapped.

Frost closed his eyes as he shook his head.

"Jane… we wouldn't be asking this if it wasn't important. But we need to know _everything_ that there is to know about this guy if we're going to catch him. There has to be some sort of reason why he seems so… so _fixated_ on Dr. Isles. Maybe there's something there that could help, or maybe not. But either way, we need to _know_, Jane."

"We care about Dr. Isles, too, Jane. Don't forget that."

She knew they were right. She knew they were only asking to do what needed to be done. But she couldn't.

Her anger was beginning to drain, but she knew that her resolve wasn't going anywhere. Her answer was still the same.

"I know it isn't your fault. I know why you're asking… but I _can't_. I can't ask her to do this. She's not ready."

Frost intentionally met her gaze as he next spoke.

"I don't think we have time to wait for her to be ready."

He looked to Korsak, who gave a slight nod before turning back towards Jane.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I am. I know it's going to be difficult. But we _need_ to talk to her. I think she'd rather hear it from you than from us."

Jane shook her head.

"_No_."

The older man lowered his voice apologetically.

"Jane…"

She shook her head again, sighing as she lowered her own voice to just above a whisper.

"She doesn't even know what happened with the last victim, Korsak. I haven't told her. I'm sure she knows it's Martin, but… I haven't told her anything about the message he left. I haven't told her that it has anything to do with _her_."

She paused to take a deep breath.

"When I told her earlier that he _hadn't_ been the one to send that snake to the house, that it had been Paddy, and it wasn't meant for her… she was so _relieved_. I _can't_, Vince… I can't take that away from her. Not yet. I'll find something else. I'll go back through everything… I must have _missed_ something. Whatever it is, I'll _find_ it. But I can't do _this_."

There was silence for a few moments, each of them fully understanding the view of the other, and yet each still fully resolved in their decision. Eventually, Korsak broke the silence.

"I know you want to protect her, Jane," he began, "but the only way you can really do that is by putting this guy behind bars."

He gave her the opportunity to respond, but she didn't.

"Just ask her," he finished quietly.

Then he and Frost turned back towards the door to the pharmacy and left her to consider their request.

But she _wasn't_ considering their request.

She _wouldn't_.

_Whatever we've been missing, I'll_ find_ it. I'll find _something. _I won't put Maura through this._

She shook her head and walked over to her car, making her way to Boston Joe's before heading back to headquarters.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Maura," Constance called from the kitchen, "Jane is on the phone for you, dear."

Her mother crossed the room and placed the phone down onto the coffee table, turning it to speaker and giving Maura's shoulder a gentle squeeze before returning to the stove to continue preparing dinner.

"Hey," the detective said from the other end, sounding exhausted.

Maura was immediately worried. After seeing how preoccupied Jane had been earlier, and now hearing a level of defeat uncharacteristic of the normally confident detective, she knew that something was off.

"What's wrong, Jane?" she asked quietly, attempting to scoot herself up to a seated position on the couch.

She heard Jane sigh on the other end as papers rustled in the background.

"I'm fine, Maura. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'll probably be working pretty late tonight. Wanted to give you a heads up, so you won't be expecting me."

Maura felt her heart drop at the implication.

"You won't be coming over at all?" she asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the disappointment that she felt.

"I'm sorry, I just… there's a lot I need to get done. It'll probably be really late, and I don't want to wake you up when I get in. Thought I'd just sleep at my place tonight."

_No, please don't. I want you _here_, Jane. Please._

But she swallowed the request and instead replied simply,

"Okay."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds, then Jane lowered her voice to ask,

"Are you alright? You sound upset."

"I'm fine, Jane," the medical examiner replied quietly.

The detective gave a tired chuckle on the other end.

"Hives, Maura," she said, resulting in a reluctant smile from the honey blonde.

The medical examiner didn't say anything, and Jane filled the silence after a few seconds.

"Did I get you to smile at least?" she asked.

"You always do, Jane," Maura replied, still bearing a sad smile.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're upset?"

"Only if you tell me why you sound so tired."

Maura heard more papers rustling in the background.

"I've just got all this damn _paperwork_ to sort through… it's not exactly exciting stuff, Maura."

The medical examiner allowed herself a small chuckle as she pictured Jane at her desk, surrounded by a stack of the detective's most dreaded part of her job. She heard Jane chuckle a little, too.

"You laughin' at my misery?" the brunette joked.

"Of course not," Maura said with a playful smile that she wished Jane was there to see.

"Uh-huh. _Sure._ You're lucky I'm not there to see those hives that are probably creeping up your neck as we speak."

Maura laughed quietly, and then Jane spoke again.

"So, your turn. What's wrong? You doin' okay?"

The medical examiner took a breath as she determined what she should say. She didn't want to pull Jane from her work, but the thought of falling asleep alone was surprisingly worrisome. And this frustrated her.

_Jane has a _job _to do. A _life._ She can't just drop everything because you're too afraid to fall asleep by yourself. Stop acting like such a child._

"Maura?" Jane asked again, sounding more concerned.

She shook her head reflexively.

"It's really nothing, Jane. I suppose I'm… I'm just disappointed that I won't get to see you tonight. That's all. I really… I like it when you sleep here. With me."

"I like it, too, I just…"

The detective paused for a moment, taking a breath.

"… I just don't know what time I'll be done. It'll probably be really late, Maura. I don't want to wake you up."

Maura didn't respond right away, and Jane gently lowered her voice on the other end.

"Maura… if you need me to come over after I'm done here, that's what I'll do. But I can't read your mind. You have to _tell_ me, okay?"

_Need? Do you _need _Jane to be here? Or do you just _want _her to be here?_

She pushed the question out of her mind. She was afraid of what the answer would be.

"I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Jane," she replied.

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before the detective spoke.

"I'll miss you tonight."

"I'll miss you, too."

"And if you need anything, you let me know."

"I will."

"No matter what time it is."

"Okay, Jane."

Silence again.

"I'll stop by in the morning, okay? Before work."

_But I won't get to wake up next to you._

"Okay."

Jane cleared her throat.

"Um… Goodnight, Maura."

"Goodnight, Jane."

The phone clicked off, and Maura called her mother over to hang it up for her.

"Is everything alright, darling?" Constance asked her daughter.

Maura nodded, pasting a smile on her face.

"It's fine, mother. Jane was just calling to let me know that she won't be able to come over tonight. She has to stay late at work."

Constance smiled knowingly at the medical examiner and leaned over to kiss the top of her head.

"You'll see her tomorrow, yes?"

Maura nodded, and her mother smiled brightly as she headed back towards the kitchen.

"It isn't so long, darling. Morning will be here before you know it."

The medical examiner smiled back, hiding the discomfort she felt.

_I wish I could believe that, mother._

But Maura knew she was wrong.

It was going to be a long night.


	47. Chapter 47

**I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow. Until then, I hope you enjoy this one! Thanks for reading and thanks for all the lovely reviews- they really do put a smile on my face. Your feedback is always appreciated, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter! =)**

* * *

Jane tried to ignore her growling stomach as she carefully studied each and every page laid out on her desk. She'd already pored over the file for William Silver, Colby Martin's first victim. Now she was knee deep in the file for the second victim, Christopher Jackson.

It felt like it had been an eternity since she'd been called to those first crime scenes. When they'd first found those railroad spikes. When Maura had still been working with her.

Back before they knew what neurotoxin had been used to kill the victims.

Back before Maura had been exposed to it firsthand.

Before Jane had nearly lost her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to push away the images that were fighting their way into her consciousness. Images of Maura, as she saw her through the window in Martin's office door. Of the snake hanging off of her arm as she fell through the air. The blood pooling around her when she hit the floor.

Jane shook her head, as if she could shake the images away. She couldn't bear to relive it.

And yet, that is exactly what _Maura_ would have to do if Jane couldn't find something useful in these files. She wasn't going to let that happen.

The detective was painstakingly examining everything that they'd gathered in all of the murders that Colby Martin was responsible for.

Every report.

Every photograph.

Every sentence.

Every word.

She had to find _something_. Somewhere in these files, there had to be something that she'd missed before. There just _had _to be something.

"Janie?" she heard from the doorway, turning her head to see her mother approaching with Frost.

"Hey, Ma," the detective replied with a tired smile.

"I brought you some dinner, sweetheart," Angela told her daughter, leaning over to kiss the top of her head as she set a plastic grocery bag down onto her desk. "Since you're staying here so late."

Jane looked over at her partner, who shrugged.

"Wasn't me," he said, heading over towards his own desk.

"How'd you know I was working late tonight?" Jane asked, confused.

"Maura called and asked me to bring you this. Since you forget to eat sometimes. She told me you called _her_ about working late, but you didn't call your own _mother_," Angela chastised.

"Yeah, yeah, Ma. I'm sorry. Should've put your worried heart at ease and all that. I _know_," she joked.

She couldn't help smiling at the medical examiner's thoughtful gesture. And then she realized what that probably meant for the contents of the meal.

"Wait… Ma… did Maura tell you to make me something specific?" she asked with a wince.

_Oh, God… please don't say kale._

Her mother glared at her.

"Yes, she did. She gave me a _very_ specific menu, and I had to make a special trip out to get some of it. If you want to make that face, you can go get your _own _dinner," she said as she reached to take back the bag of food.

Jane grabbed at it, smiling apologetically.

"No, no! I want it, Ma. I just… you know how Maura is with all that healthy junk."

Frost chuckled and leaned over to add,

"I don't think you refer to it as 'junk' when you're talking about health food, Jane."

She made a face at her partner, who laughed and went back to his work.

"Just eat the food, Janie. And make sure you get some sleep tonight, okay?"

"I will, Ma. Thank you for bringing me dinner."

The detective gave her mother a quick kiss to the cheek before turning back to her desk as Mama Rizzoli made her way out of the room and over towards the elevator. Jane reached into the bag and pulled out two carefully packed containers of food.

She took the lid off of the first container and opened it to find a peanut butter and fluff sandwich, a small bunch of grapes, and one of her mother's espresso brownies. The other container bore the logo of the Dirty Robber, and she smiled as she realized what would be inside. Jane removed the lid to find a sizeable portion of sweet potato fries and a single sprig of lavender laid gingerly across the top. The detective shook her head, chuckling to herself.

"What are you smiling about over there?" Frost teased.

She glared at him.

"Just smiling at my home-cooked meal," she joked. "Jealous?"

He laughed.

"You always get this excited over grapes and peanut butter?"

She picked up a fry and threw it at him, pointing her finger in a mock threat. Her partner held up his hands in defeat, shaking his head.

"Okay, okay. I surrender," he laughed.

She picked up another fry, eating it this time instead of throwing it at her partner, and smiling at the memory that Maura had intentionally conjured for her. All the foods that she'd given Maura on their first date. And she was sure that the medical examiner had specifically instructed Angela to include a sprig of lavender with the sweet potato fries, just to be an adorable little smartass. She shook her head, looking down at the little purple flower.

The detective flicked her eyes up to look at Frost, who was busy typing away at his computer. She looked around the room to see if anyone was watching her. They weren't. They were all busy with their own work. Slowly, carefully, her eyes still darting suspiciously around the room, she reached down and pulled off one of the little purple blossoms and tossed it into her mouth along with the fry that she was chewing.

As soon as she bit down into it, she was overwhelmed with the taste of… _flower_. She coughed reflexively, forcing herself to swallow the bite as she reached for her coffee mug to drown the taste. A few sips later, her nose still wrinkled up from the aftertaste, she shook her head and reached for a grape.

"Did you forget how to chew your food there, Jane?" Frost teased.

She sent him a playful glare, then continued eating when he got back to work. As she reached for another grape, she pulled out her phone to fire off a text to the medical examiner.

'Thanks for dinner. But I'm never eating a flower again.'

* * *

"Jane. Janie. _Jane_."

The detective finally woke up when she felt a firm hand gripping her shoulder and giving it a shake.

"Fr-Frankie? What the hell…?"

She blinked up into the bright lights of the station, lifting her face from her desk and pulling off a sheet of paper that was sticking to her cheek.

"C'mon, Jane. Let's get you home."

Jane shook her head, looking back down at her desk. The detective hadn't even made it through Adam Neumann's file yet. She still had way too much work to get done for her to leave.

Her brother rolled his eyes as he grabbed her arm.

"_Jane_. It's two in the morning. I'm taking you home."

She looked down at her watch.

_Shit_. _It really_ is_ two._

She rubbed at her eyes.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here at two in the morning?" she asked, turning the attention to her little brother.

"Frost told me you were still here when he left a few hours ago. Ma was worried about you, and a few buddies of mine told me they never saw you leave. C'mon, Janie. Let me take you home."

He tried to pull her to her feet, but she resisted, shaking her head.

"I can't leave, Frankie. I've gotta… I have to keep looking."

"No. You _don't_. Frost told me everything."

"Well, if Frost told you everything, then you _know_ why I have to do this."

He sighed.

"You _know_ they need to talk to her, Jane. There's nothing you could find in those files that will change that. Go home. Get some sleep. Look at it again tomorrow. You're not gonna find anything when you're droolin' all over your desk anyway."

Frankie gave her a gentle smile, trying again to pull her to her feet. She still pulled back and shook her head.

"_No_. You're wrong, Frankie. I can still fix this. I just have… I have to keep looking."

He kneeled down and put his hand on her knee, sighing again as he spoke gently to his sister.

"Janie, you can't fix this by yourself. And you certainly can't fix it at two in the morning. Let me take you home. Please. Tomorrow, you'll talk to Maura about coming in, and you'll be right here with her if and when she does. We'll do our jobs. _And we will get this guy_. Okay?"

She looked him in the eyes, and for a moment, he thought that she would resist him again. But, eventually, she sighed and gave him a tired nod.

"Yeah. Okay," she whispered.

He smiled and took her by the arm, standing up and pulling her to her feet. She grabbed her blazer and slipped it over her shoulders as she followed her brother towards the elevators, her eyes still glued to the piles of documents scattered across her desk. Jane shook her head sadly as she turned to go through the door.

_I'm so sorry, Maura._

* * *

Maura stared at the clock, watching the minutes slowly tick by. Each passing moment, which had slowly turned into passing hours, only served to increase her frustration with her inability to fall asleep.

_Heightened emotions will only further prevent you from falling asleep. You need to relax._

But suddenly the CPMs seemed impossibly loud. Her legs seemed impossibly sore. Her brain seemed impossibly busy. Her bed… impossibly cold. None of these things had been a problem when Jane was here.

She felt _safe_ when Jane was here, curled up next to her in their… well, technically… _her_ bed. But it didn't _feel _like hers without Jane in it. It felt empty. It felt… frightening.

The medical examiner could feel her body trembling. She told herself that the movement of the CPMs was simply transferring residual energy to the muscles in the rest of her body. But this was a lie, and she knew it.

_Do you get hives when you lie to yourself? Does that count as a lie?_

She glanced down at her chest, but it was too dark to tell.

_Perhaps not._

In the darkness, it was nearly impossible for her to fight back the vivid memories that played with her perception. The slightest creak of the house was suddenly the same creak of the lab stool that she threw herself off of to protect Jane. A car driving over the loose storm drain in the street was suddenly the sound of the hammer connecting with the railroad spike as it pierced her hand.

If she closed her eyes, _he _was immediately there. So she kept them open.

But the darkness was enough of a blank canvas that the slightest hint of a shadow produced an unmistakable image of a coiled snake, ready to strike.

It wasn't as if she could simply flick on the light switch to chase away the horrors that her mind was producing. She couldn't move.

_They're only memories. That's all they are. Your perception of the world is shaped by the sensations you feel and the experiences that you've undertaken. This is simply your experience shaping your perception of perfectly normal sounds. You are perfectly safe. You are-_

Maura's thoughts were interrupted by a noise downstairs, and she reflexively began holding her breath, her heart pounding. She listened closely, hoping it was another trick of the mind. And she was almost relieved, as silence followed for a few seconds.

But then she heard it again.

The intentionally quiet click of the front door as it latched.

Footsteps walking across the floor downstairs, looking for something.

Or, more likely, some_one_.

Her mind, which had been chattering non-stop only moments before, was now silent. Every bit of her attention was focused in on the sounds of the intruder.

_It's him._

The thought sent a terrifying shiver up her spine as she waited, still holding her breath, for those footsteps to make their way up the stairs.

But then she heard a thump, followed by a hissed exclamation of,

"_Shit! _Dammit, Bass…"

Maura felt herself exhaling, unimaginable relief flooding into her chest, as she recognized the voice. Her heart still beating against her ribcage, she closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe.

_You're okay now. You're okay._

She was still trembling, certainly more now than she had been before she'd heard the front door open, but she knew it would fade in a few moments.

"You okay, buddy?" she heard the detective whisper. "Shit, _you_ should be apologizing to my _foot_. Got a friggin' _tank_ on your back, there."

Maura had to stifle a relieved chuckle as she pictured Jane speaking to the tortoise.

The medical examiner kept her eyes closed as she heard the familiar boots begin making their way up the stairs, back the hall to her room, trying and failing to be silent. Kept her eyes closed as her bedroom door cracked open and she heard the sound of those boots being kicked off across the floor. By the time she heard the muffled sound of a drawer opening and closing as Jane pulled out an old t-shirt to sleep in, Maura's heart rate had returned almost to normal.

She desperately hoped that the detective wouldn't be able to tell that she was awake. She just wanted to feel Jane's skin against her own. Wanted both of them to fall asleep together. If Jane knew that she had been up all night, afraid to close her eyes and fall asleep, she'd only worry and make a fuss about it. That wasn't what either of them needed. They needed sleep.

Finally, she felt the movement of the bed as Jane crawled in next to her, carefully wrapping her arm around the waist of the medical examiner and scooting her body in as close as possible. She felt lips pressing gently against her shoulder, and then she felt the detective settle her head in against Maura's collarbone.

Maura was about to allow herself to finally drift off, when she thought she heard a whisper. She felt Jane's lips lightly grazing the skin around her collarbone, and then she heard it again. She knew that it wasn't a whisper meant for her ears, but she strained to listen anyway.

Jane continued leaving a circle of light kisses on Maura's skin, following up each with the same barely audible phrase,

"I'm so sorry."

The medical examiner briefly considered whether she should simply allow Jane the moment of privacy that she obviously thought she had, but when she felt the first tear land on her skin, the decision was made for her. She turned her head to look down at the detective, whose eyes snapped up to meet hers when she felt Maura's movement.

"I… didn't mean to wake you up. Sorry, Maura. Go back to sleep," Jane whispered with a sniffle, wiping at her eyes.

Maura shook her head.

"What's wrong, Jane? Are you okay?"

The detective forced herself to smile as she nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just go back to sleep."

"Jane..."

The brunette shook her head.

"In the morning, Maura. Please… let's just sleep now."

The medical examiner paused, then accepted with a nod.

"In the morning."

She kissed Jane's forehead, closing her eyes and letting her lips rest there for a moment before pulling back.

"Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight," the detective whispered back as she settled herself in against Maura's chest.

It wasn't long before sleep found them both, tucked comfortably against each other as the steady rise and fall of their chests slowed to a restful pace.

The morning would have to wait. It had been a long night.


	48. Chapter 48

Maura couldn't help smiling at the sight of the detective sleeping soundly against her. There was something indescribably comforting in the peaceful expression that Jane's face bore while she slept. The brunette was so frequently on the move, whether for work or for leisure, that Maura rarely got to see her in such a relaxed state.

It almost made her sad to know that the serene expression would more than likely disappear completely as soon as Jane opened her eyes. Only in sleep did the detective allow herself to be so unguarded. But Maura found it beautiful. Maura found _her_ beautiful.

She wanted to enjoy the sight for as long as she could. She wanted to capture it, that image of Jane looking so untouched by the tragedy of the coming day's work. To remember this moment, before reality once again awakened the troubled lines that had begun forming on the detective's forehead. The beginnings of what would surely become deep wrinkles as time passed.

Maura wondered if she, too, looked this peaceful while she was separated from the world. Maybe one day she could ask Jane.

She felt a sharp intake of breath from the detective as she began to stir, her eyes slowly blinking open and searching for Maura's.

"Hi," the medical examiner said with a smile.

Jane returned the smile, raising her head up for a gentle kiss to welcome the morning. When Maura pulled back and opened her eyes, she noticed that Jane's were still closed, and she let out a small chuckle.

"Did you go back to sleep?" she whispered with a quiet laugh.

Jane shook her head, smiling through her closed lids.

"No. My eyes just don't want to be awake yet," she replied softly, cracking one eye open just enough to peer over at the medical examiner so she could find her lips and bring them together again.

"I thought you weren't coming over last night," Maura stated quietly, after Jane had settled back down against her.

The brunette shifted uncomfortably for a moment, avoiding her gaze.

"I knew you didn't… you didn't really sound thrilled about me not coming over. I don't know. I thought you'd probably just want me here. I hope it's okay."

"It's more than okay. I had been hoping that you would change your mind, actually," Maura admitted with a smile.

This got Jane to look up at her.

"Why didn't you just tell me that when I called? You know I would've said yes."

Maura shrugged.

"You sounded like you wanted to sleep in your own apartment. And I didn't want you to think… I _don't_ want you to think that you have to put aside other things for me."

Jane gave her a playfully disbelieving glare.

"Right, put aside other things… like my _amazingly_ active social life. You're just keeping me from all of my _numerous_ close friends," Jane joked, giving her a squeeze as she grinned. "And I definitely did want to sleep in my apartment. Because sleeping on my cheap mattress, _alone_, is _so_ much more appealing than sleeping on this _cloud_ you call a bed, with my arms wrapped around my favorite person on this earth."

Maura felt her heart flutter a little at the sentiment.

"You're my favorite person, too," she said quietly.

And then she remembered what had happened the previous night, as she was drifting off to sleep. It felt almost as if it had been part of a dream. But she knew that it wasn't.

"What were you apologizing for last night?" the medical examiner asked gently, looking down to see Jane's face immediately pale as she averted her gaze.

"Just for… wakin' you up," the detective muttered, failing to convince Maura of her lie.

The blonde wasn't going to let her brush this off. She had been crying. She had been upset. And she had been hiding something. It was time for her to tell Maura what it was.

"Jane… I _know_ you thought I was asleep. I know you've been keeping something from me, and last night… Jane, I know you were crying. I wish you'd just tell me what's wrong."

The detective thought back to the previous day. Before lunchtime, when the only thing she had been keeping from Maura was the contents of the steamy dream that she'd had the night before. And now… now there was _this_. But this was a secret that she knew she wouldn't be able to keep from Maura for long.

"I need to tell you something," Jane said quietly, pushing herself up to a seated position and turning to face Maura.

"Should I sit up, too?" the medical examiner asked.

Jane nodded and carefully removed Maura's legs from the CPMs, then propped the medical examiner up against a stack of pillows so she could look directly into her eyes.

Or, more accurately, so that Maura could look into Jane's eyes while the detective looked down at her hands.

"I haven't been… I haven't been entirely honest with you about what's been going on."

Maura felt her heart drop at the implication, and the expression on her face must have betrayed her thoughts as Jane's eyes widened and she adamantly shook her head, reaching a hand over to gently grab Maura's arm and give it a squeeze.

"No, no! Not with _us_. No… I mean with... what's been going on with the case."

The medical examiner allowed herself to feel relieved only for a moment, before her brain began imagining the horrible scenarios that Jane was surely about to tell her. She tried to push them away as she took a breath and waited for the detective to explain.

"That first day when you came back from the hospital… when I got called out to a scene?"

Maura nodded, remembering the day very clearly.

"It was another of Colby Martin's victims."

She had figured as much, but hearing it so directly still sent a chill up her spine.

"I didn't exactly want to _hide_ it from you… I thought you'd probably pick up on that on your own… but there was something else. Something that I _did_ intentionally keep from you."

Jane paused for a moment to gather her words, her voice lowering as she continued speaking.

"He'd posed the victim. It was a woman. A pharmacist. And she… she looked like you, Maura. Her hair… and she was wearing a lab coat. He'd pulled out the spikes and bandaged her hands and her knees, and… and he covered them with braces. Splints. Like… the ones you have."

Jane was staring directly at her now, gauging her reaction. Maura forced herself to appear unaffected, despite the fear that was pumping through her veins. Despite the turmoil that this new information had thrown her thoughts into. She couldn't let Jane see it, or she knew the detective would stop talking. She forced herself to nod encouragingly.

"The spikes were laid across her lap. And there was a bottle. An empty bottle. Coral snake antivenom. And he left a note inside it. About you."

The brunette took a deep breath and shook her head as she looked back down and away from Maura's gaze, and Maura thought she had finished what she had intended to say. She reached her hand over to rest it gently on the detective's leg, wishing desperately that she could take Jane's hand in her own. But Jane shook her head.

"That isn't all, Maura. That's not… that's not it."

"What else is there, Jane?" the medical examiner asked quietly, waiting for the detective to look back up into her eyes.

Jane sighed, and Maura was certain that she was fighting back tears.

She was correct. Even as the detective spoke, her mind was running full speed, conjuring up her own memories of what had happened to Maura. And, in addition to those memories, reminding her that Maura was going to have to relive the whole experience down at headquarters. Because Jane had failed.

The detective cleared her throat and continued.

"I didn't tell you because I thought I'd get him. I thought it would be over, and you wouldn't have to know about that stuff. But I _didn't _get him. And he's still out there, and… and it happened again, Maura. Yesterday."

The pieces started to fall into place as Maura realized where the conversation was headed.

"Is that why you worked late last night?"

Jane nodded.

"He posed the body again, with the bandages and the braces. And he left you another note. But this time he… he took the railroad spikes with him when he left. Like he's gonna use them on… someone else."

Maura thought Jane's concern was that Colby Martin was going to come after her again. To use those spikes on _her_ again. She smiled reassuringly at the detective.

"It's okay, Jane. I'll be fine. I've got you to keep me safe."

She wasn't sure what she had done wrong, but her words seemed to break the dam that had been holding back Jane's tears. They started flowing slowly, almost silently, down the detective's cheeks, interrupted only by the occasional intake of air as she remembered to breathe.

"Jane… Jane, it's okay."

Jane shook her head.

"_No_," she said. "It's not _okay_, Maura. It's _not_."

Maura lowered her voice, speaking gently to try to calm her. She wasn't sure what had set her off. She wasn't sure why Jane had become so upset by what she'd said. She'd thought she was helping.

"Maura, I… I'm sorry I couldn't ca-atch him. I should-"

"Jane, listen to me."

The detective shook her head.

"Jane. You are not the only detective in Boston. It is not your fault that Colby Martin hasn't been caught. It is not your fault that _any _of this has happened. I know that you aren't going to let him come anywhere near me again-"

"No, Maura, it's not... that's not-"

"Then what _is _it?"

"They want you to go down to headquarters, Maura."

The medical examiner paused, her words of reassurance caught in her throat.

"They want to interview you about… about what happened. They want you to relive the whole goddamn _nightmare_, Maura."

The blonde shook her head, trying to shake away the sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Well, of course they do," she said, as much to convince herself as to convince Jane. "I'm surprised they didn't ask sooner. Oftentimes the victims of-"

"Don't, Maura. Just don't," Jane whispered, sniffling as she caught her breath and wiped away her tears.

"I _tried_… I tried to find something to h-help you. So you wouldn't have to. But I couldn't do it. I tried to help you and I couldn't."

"Jane, there wasn't anything to _find_. This isn't your fault. Jane… it _isn't_."

"You could tell them no."

Maura sighed.

"You know I won't do that."

Jane's shoulders slumped as she nodded. She had expected that answer.

"I know," she said quietly.

"It'll be okay, Jane."

The detective let out a raspy chuckle as she shook her head.

"No, it won't. You're already having nightmares. And I'll just bet you were awake when I got in last night because you hadn't fallen asleep _at all_. Now you've gotta go down there and talk about it? _Remember_ it? It's not going to be _okay_, Maura. It's not. It's going to be awful."

"Maybe," Maura admitted.

She wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea. If she was being completely honest with herself, the thought terrified her. Sickened her. Discussing what had happened in the level of detail that would surely be expected of her… it would not be easy. But it was something that needed to be done, and she would do it.

"You'll be there with me, won't you?" she asked quietly.

"Of _course._"

The detective paused, adding,

"But I'd rather just be _here_ with you. You don't have to do this."

"Jane… it's entirely possible that I may have seen something that could help. Or maybe I didn't, and it'll be a waste of time. It's impossible to know. But this is something that needs to be done. I think you know that, don't you?"

Jane didn't respond.

"I want to do whatever I can to help you find Colby Martin and put him away. If that means that I need to go to headquarters and formally describe the events through which I got these injuries… then that is what I will do. And, yes, I am certain that it will be unpleasant. But we'll deal with it just like we've dealt with everything else."

Still no response.

"Jane, please look at me."

The detective slowly raised her eyes to Maura's.

"Thank you. Thank you for trying to help me, Jane. I _know_ that you did absolutely everything you could have possibly done. I know you don't think so, but you _did_. And you don't need to be sorry."

She paused for a moment to smile gently across at the detective.

"Let's just catch this bastard, okay?" she whispered.

Jane nodded, the briefest hint of a smile crossing her own face.

"I have physical therapy this morning, but maybe you could take me back with you after lunch?"

Jane lowered her brow and tilted her head.

"You wanna do it _today_?" she asked in disbelief.

"Sooner is almost always better when it comes to memory, Jane. If I'm going to do it, I might as well just get it over with."

"We could wait, though. You could go tomorrow. Or-"

"Jane."

The detective nodded solemnly, pausing for a moment and then scooting herself over so that she was sitting next to Maura. She slipped her arm around the medical examiner's back and sighed as the blonde leaned her head over against Jane's shoulder.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you," Jane whispered.

"It _happened_, Jane," Maura corrected. "It's not _happening_. It _happened_. We're still dealing with it, with the effects of it, but it isn't still _happening_. I'm not still at BCU, or in that hospital. I'm _here_. I'm safe. With you."

The detective squeezed her a little tighter, leaning her head down to rest against Maura's. She let out an embarrassed chuckle as she sniffed and reached up with her free hand to wipe at the corners of her eyes.

"Sorry for all the waterworks," she said quietly. "Think I just… must've got somethin' in my eye."

She smiled as she saw Maura turn her head to look up at her, a playful glint in her hazel eyes.

"_Both_ eyes?" the medical examiner teased cautiously.

"Yeah… must've been like… probably an allergic reaction to your turtle or something."

Maura nudged the detective with her shoulder, rolling her eyes as she laughed quietly.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Pretty sure that just _was_ a response," Jane said with a grin.

The medical examiner shook her head, settling herself back down against Jane.

There was silence for a few moments as they just sat together, the weight of their earlier conversation pressing in around them.

"I'll be right there with you," Jane said quietly.

Maura smiled up at her.

"I know."

"We could have a signal. A code word. And if you need a break or something, you can just say the code word and I'll get you out of there faster than you can blink."

The medical examiner nodded happily.

"I like that," she said with a smile. "What should our code be?"

"Turtle?" Jane suggested with a smirk.

Maura gave her a playful glare, which resulted in the detective's face stretching into an amused grin.

And two adorable dimples popping out of her cheeks.

"Dimples," Maura said with a smile.

"Okay," Jane chuckled, leaning in to kiss the one on Maura's face. "Dimples it is."

"And Jane?"

"Yeah?"

The medical examiner stretched herself up for a gentle kiss, smiling as Jane kept her lower lip trapped between her own for as long as possible when they pulled apart.

"Thank you," Maura whispered, finishing the thought that she'd started before the kiss.

The detective raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"For what?"

"For just… for loving me."

Jane smiled.

"You're easy to love," she replied with a shrug.

Maura was about to respond when Jane added,

"Not always easy to watch TV with that Google mouth…"

She got an elbow to the ribs as the medical examiner laughed.

"… but I still love you."

Maura looked up at her with a smile.

"I love you, too... _sometimes_," she teased.

Jane laughed and pulled her in, laying a kiss atop her honey blonde waves.

"Hives, Maura."


	49. Chapter 49

**Sorry this update has taken so long! I've been really swamped with work lately and haven't had as much time to write as I'd like. It should clear up a bit within the next few weeks, but until then I may only be able to get out one chapter each weekend instead of the two or three that I normally like to. I just wanted you all to have a heads up. I'll still be working hard to try and get out what I can, and maybe I'll be able to get more done than I think I will, but I just wanted to let you know so you don't think I'm hanging it up =)**

**As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate all the support and I hope you're still enjoying the story!**

* * *

Jane could feel Frost and Korsak watching her intently even before she was seated at her desk, coffee in hand. Papers were still scattered all over her workspace, reminding her of the late night she'd had and the failure that it represented. She felt as if one cup of coffee couldn't possibly be enough to replenish the energy that she was lacking, but she couldn't pinpoint whether it was exhaustion or defeat that was making her so weary.

"You okay, Jane?" Frost finally asked, after a few seconds of silence.

She forced herself to smile at him as she nodded.

"I'm good. Just need to wake up a little," the detective replied, holding up her coffee.

Her partner seemed to be examining her appearance for a few moments before speaking again, lowering his voice to just above a whisper.

"You _did_ go home last night, didn't you?" he asked.

Jane raised an eyebrow as she smirked.

"Wow, Frost… you really know how to pay a compliment," she teased, grinning as he immediately tried to backpedal.

"I didn't mean… I just know you were…"

She shook her head and chuckled.

"Calm down, Frost. I know what I look like. But to answer your question… _yes_, I did go home last night."

He grinned back.

"Was that before or after the sun came up?" he joked.

Jane glared playfully at him, then shook her head with a tired chuckle and looked down at the files on her desk, the smile slowly fading from her face.

_There's still time. You could still find something,_ she thought as she flipped open a file folder and began sifting through the information inside.

But she worked without the desperation that had driven her the day before.

Jane had already told Maura about the new murders, and about the messages that they were clearly meant to convey. The medical examiner had already agreed to come down to headquarters and allow herself to be interviewed. Jane hadn't been able to find anything to prevent that from happening, and she was not optimistic about the realistic chances of doing so within the few remaining hours before she would be off to Maura's for lunch.

A quiet sigh escaped her as she tried to concentrate on what she was looking at, her chin resting on the heel of one hand as she used the other to flip through the pages.

"Finding anything?" Korsak asked quietly, approaching her desk with apparent reservation.

Jane shook her head, looking up at him as she responded with a sad smile.

"You were right," she said simply.

The older man didn't respond, waiting to see what else Jane had to say.

"I talked to Maura about it this morning."

Korsak nodded for her to continue.

"What'd she say?" he prompted gently.

"She wants to come in this afternoon. After lunch."

"I'm guessing you tried to talk her out of it?" Korsak said with a cautious smile.

She looked up at him with a weak smile of her own and let out a quiet chuckle.

"Jesus. Am I that predictable?" she joked.

He shrugged.

"I don't know if predictable is the word I would have used. I would've said protective," he responded, giving her a gentle pat on the shoulder.

For a moment, she smiled in appreciation, then appeared to be unable to hold his gaze as she dropped her eyes back down towards her desk. Korsak frowned and lowered his voiced as he next spoke.

"You know I wish we didn't have to do this, Jane… but it really is necessary. We'll take good care of her."

This caused her eyes to snap back up to his.

"When you say 'we', I hope you're factoring _me_ into that scenario."

He sighed, not breaking eye contact as he responded.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea."

Jane shook her head adamantly.

"Good idea or not, I _promised_ her I'd be there with her. I'm not breaking my promise, Korsak. I'm going to be there for the interview."

"I'm not going to stop you, Jane. But…" he paused for a moment, deciding how to proceed, then continued, "…you have to be able to stay objective. You can't interfere with the interview or it'll just be a waste of everyone's time."

"I'll be _fine_, Korsak. I know how to do my job."

She stared up at him for a moment, as if almost daring him to challenge her. Then she added,

"There's no way this is happening without me."

For a few seconds, the older man simply watched her with a grim expression. But he knew that there was no use fighting her on the issue. He nodded, forcing a smile.

"Okay. Thank you, Jane. You're doing the right thing, here."

Then he turned and headed back over to his own desk.

Jane glanced up to see Frost watching her from behind his computer, immediately flicking his eyes back to the screen when she caught his gaze.

She placed her head back against the heel of her hand as she returned her attention to the case files in front of her.

_I might be doing the _right_ thing, _she thought to herself sadly, _but it's the _wrong _damn thing for Maura._

* * *

The distinct feeling of dread began sinking its claws into the medical examiner soon after Jane had left for work. Maura had forced herself to keep her composure while the detective was around, aware of the deleterious effects that their situation was already having on the brunette's well-being. Once Jane had gone, however, she allowed herself to fully process what she had agreed to do.

To go back through the horrible events that had landed her in the hospital. Had almost gotten her _killed_. To report every detail. To immerse herself back into the memories and speak them aloud. Answer questions. Experience it.

Maura had managed to avoid speaking openly about what had happened up until this point. When Jane had asked her about it in the hospital, she'd given almost no detail and tried to describe the events as vaguely as possible. In some way, it almost felt as if she was safe from the memories if she simply didn't discuss them. As if those details were being kept locked safely away, and as long as she didn't release them, as long as she didn't speak them aloud, it was almost, _almost_, like it had never happened.

She looked down at her hands, shaking her head as she forced herself to be objective.

_But it _did _happen. And it could happen to someone else if you don't help._

"Are you alright, darling?" her mother asked quietly, making her way across the living room and crouching down by the sofa to speak to her daughter at eye level.

Maura nodded, turning her head towards Constance with a sad smile.

"I'll be fine. I'm just thinking about…"

Her voice trailed off, and her mother nodded gently as she understood.

"You're thinking about what you and Jane are doing this afternoon?" she prompted quietly.

"Yes," Maura sighed. "I'm… I didn't expect to feel this anxious about it."

Constance didn't say anything for a few seconds as she tried to take in the expression on her daughter's face.

"Have you spoken with Jane about how you're feeling?" she asked after the silence had passed.

Maura shook her head adamantly.

"No. She doesn't want me to go in at all. If I tell her… I'm sure she'll find a way out of it. That's not what I want."

Mrs. Isles smiled reassuringly at the medical examiner.

"It's only because she cares about you, darling. She's worried about you, as am I."

Maura looked down and away as she quietly responded,

"She's already worried about enough. I don't want her worrying about this, too. I just want to get it over with. I'm sure I'll be fine once it's done."

"I see."

Constance waited for the medical examiner to look back over at her before speaking again.

"Maura, I'd like to ask you something. If I may."

"Of course."

Her mother smiled and then proceeded with the question.

"When you see that Jane is upset, you want to help her, yes? I would infer that this is at least a small part of the reason why you've agreed to this interview today. To help Jane with the case."

Maura nodded.

"And when you've helped Jane with things in the past, when you've helped to comfort her or to raise her spirits through a troubling situation, doesn't that make you feel a bit better yourself? A bit more useful?"

Maura was quiet for a moment before softly reporting,

"Research does indicate that people are generally happier when they feel that their activities are meaningful."

Constance smiled gently and shook her head.

"I'm asking about _you_, dear. Specifically. With Jane."

Maura paused for a moment, then nodded.

"Darling, part of the reason why Jane worries so much is because she feels as if there is nothing she can do to help you. Because you're not one to _ask_ for help, Maura. You never have been. But sometimes, dear, we _need_ help. Right now, you and Jane are both hurting. This has been difficult for _both_ of you, but neither of you wants to admit it because you're afraid of adding to the other's worry. Am I correct?"

The medical examiner was silent, and Constance continued.

"You can help her, Maura. But the best way for you to help Jane, is to let her help _you_. You need to look out for each other, darling. And you don't need to be ashamed of it. It's what you have each other for."

As Constance stood up, she leaned over to kiss the top of Maura's head before heading out to the kitchen.

"Just speak with her about it, Maura. Be honest with her. I think it'll help you both."

Maura couldn't help the sad smile that formed on her lips at her mother's words. She was right, of course. It was obvious that Jane still blamed herself for what had happened, and Maura had been unintentionally shutting off every opportunity for the detective to actually help her.

She wouldn't let Jane help her get ready for bed, or help her with the physical therapy exercises. She wouldn't talk to Jane about certain things that she thought might upset her. And she knew that Jane had been keeping things from her for the same reason.

Maura had thought that she was helping, that she was protecting the detective, but… her mother was right. They couldn't look out for each other if they kept shutting each other out. It was time for that to change.

A knock at the door jarred her from her thoughts, and her mother answered it to allow in Dr. Jamison for their PT session. As he crossed the room to greet her, she glanced down at her watch.

_Only two hours until Jane,_ she thought to herself.

And she greeted the doctor with a genuine smile.


	50. Chapter 50

**Finally have another update for you! Thanks for your patience and support, and I hope you're all still enjoying the story. As always, reviews are much appreciated, and I will be working hard to get the next chapter out as soon as possible. Enjoy! =)**

* * *

The morning seemed to have gone by way too quickly.

Jane wasn't ready to face the upcoming events of the afternoon, and yet here she was, at Maura's doorstep, with under an hour to go before she and the medical examiner would be on their way to headquarters for the interview that she dreaded. The detective sighed as she unlocked the door and pushed it open, forcing a smile as Constance greeted her from the kitchen.

"Hello, Jane," Mrs. Isles said with a smile. "Maura is upstairs with Dawn at the moment. Lunch should be ready in about twenty minutes."

"Can I go up, or…?"

Jane let her question trail off, hoping that Maura's mother would understand what she was asking. She did.

"Yes, dear. Of course. I believe she's done in the bath by now."

The detective nodded and said her thanks, turning to make her way up the stairs as the thought of Maura being bathed by someone else began to slowly register in her brain.

Of course she had known that it was happening, to some extent. She'd known that Maura had been keeping clean, and that she'd put a special amount of effort into freshening up for their date a few days prior, but this was the first time that she'd actually thought about _how_. And it was unsettling.

Not because she was jealous, although she admitted to herself that there was a hint of that emotion present, as well. She knew Dawn was just doing her job as a nurse, and that there was nothing particularly sensual about the interaction that she was sharing with the medical examiner. It was simply something that Maura could not do on her own, and her caretaker was assisting her in the process.

This was the part that made Jane's heart sink even lower than it had already been so far that morning. Because she had gone through it, too. She'd had to let others help her to do things that it embarrassed her to admit while her hands were recovering from her first encounter with Hoyt. She knew how it felt, and imagining Maura experiencing those same emotions that she had gone through…

Jane shook her head slowly as she approached the door to Maura's bedroom, decidedly pushing her negative emotions to the back of her mind. The afternoon would be emotional enough once they got to headquarters, she thought, and she may as well do her best to keep Maura's spirits up for as long as possible. She took a breath and reached up to knock lightly on the door to the medical examiner's bedroom.

"Jane?" Maura's voice called from inside.

"Yeah, it's me. Can I come in?" Jane responded.

"Um… yes, just give me one…second…"

She heard a barely audible snapping sound, followed by the rustle of fabric.

"Okay. Come on in, Jane."

The detective pushed open the door and stepped in, her eyes immediately landing on the medical examiner and widening noticeably as she took half a step back and turned her head to look down at her feet.

"I can just… I can wait downstairs with your mother if you're not-"

She heard Maura chuckle from across the room and felt a tiny rush of air as Dawn snuck past her, out the door, closing it behind her.

"Jane, it's okay. You don't have to stare at the floor."

"Well, you're…"

Jane lifted her eyes to look over to where Maura was sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a towel, with the straps of her bra the only indication apart from her splints that she wasn't completely naked. At first glance, Jane had thought that she _was _naked.

"I was hoping that you could help me select an appropriate outfit to wear."

The detective took a few steps over towards where Maura was seated, tilting her head in confusion.

"Since when do you ask_ me_ for _fashion_ tips?" she joked.

The medical examiner smiled and shook her head.

"This isn't about _fashion_, Jane," she explained. "I need something that will be comfortable for me to wear with my braces, while also maintaining a level of professionalism suitable for interaction with my colleagues. And I'm not exactly in any shape to go ruffling through my own wardrobe looking for the perfect outfit."

Jane crossed her arms where she was standing and raised a suspicious eyebrow in the medical examiner's direction.

"But you said you didn't want me to help you with stuff like this. And Dawn was just in here with you."

Maura shrugged.

"Well… I'd like _your_ help with this, please. If you don't mind."

The detective still appeared unconvinced, narrowing her eyes and widening her stance a bit as she considered the request. Maura was about to speak again when she noticed Jane's eyes beginning to alter their focus and slowly make their way down and then back up over the toweled form of the blonde. Now it was the medical examiner's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"What are you looking at, Jane?" she inquired softly, tilting her head a bit as she grinned coyly up at the brunette.

The detective seemed caught off guard by the question, as if she hadn't expected Maura to notice her wandering eyes.

"I was… just… trying to figure out what you should wear," she fumbled, before smirking at Maura as she added, "I was having a vision!"

"Oh, I'll _bet_ you were," the medical examiner chuckled, raising her eyebrows with a smirk of her own.

Jane reached out to give her shoulder a playful shove as she grinned, then disappeared into Maura's closet and came back out after a few seconds with a pair of black pants and a loose-fitting, light pink blouse. She gently laid these onto the bed and returned to the closet, emerging a bit later with a leather jacket and black heels. The detective held them up as she walked over towards Maura, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

Maura glanced back over to what she had laid out on the bed, then returned her eyes to the items in Jane's hands. She smiled and gave a nod of approval.

"I think that will be appropriate."

Jane smiled back at her and reached to set the shoes on the floor and drape the blazer on the bed, pausing to deliver a gentle kiss to Maura's lips as she stood herself back up.

"Did you want me to…?"

Maura nodded, not waiting for Jane to finish the question, and the detective chuckled quietly.

"I was going to ask if you wanted me to help you get dressed. Or if I should go get-"

"You, Jane. Please. If you don't mind."

Jane smiled and leaned over to place another kiss to the medical examiner's lips, reaching out with one hand to grab Maura's pants from their current location on the bed. She reluctantly pulled her lips away from the blonde's, leaning down to carefully slip Maura's feet into the top of the pants.

"I thought these looked like they'd be a little loose, so your knee braces wouldn't make them feel too tight," she said quietly, pulling them carefully up and over the tops of the braces before stopping to assess how she should continue. But she was finding it increasingly difficult to focus with so much of Maura's lightly freckled skin peeking out from around the towel. So many places that she'd never let her eyes linger, that her fingertips had never traced, that her lips had never touched. The distraction caused her to fumble over her words, and she hoped that the medical examiner wouldn't notice.

"I… um… if I hold you up… if you lean against me, so I can help you get these on… can you do that? Or will that hurt your knees? I don't… I'm not sure what you can do."

Maura contemplated this for a moment, then nodded.

"I believe that should be alright. I can put some weight on them when they're extended. But I will need to balance most of my weight onto you."

"Well, is this even the right way? How does Dawn usually do it? Maybe if I sit down I can just-"

"I like your way better," Maura interrupted with a smile.

Jane sighed and returned the gesture, shaking her head.

"Sorry, I just… you'll tell me if it's uncomfortable or painful or something?"

"I think you'll know if it is," Maura chuckled before replacing her smile with a serious expression as she continued, "But I trust you."

The detective smiled appreciatively for a moment before delivering a quick peck to Maura's nose.

"Ready?" she asked.

Maura nodded, and the detective responded by reaching down and wrapping her arms around the medical examiner's waist. Maura wrapped her own arms around the back of Jane's neck, and then noticed the towel beginning to slip down from its previously modest position.

"You may as well just remove it," Maura calmly instructed, unaware of her influence on the subtle increase of Jane's heart rate.

The brunette carefully grabbed the edges of the towel and unwrapped it as much as she could while Maura was still seated on the bed, revealing the tantalizing curves obscured now only by the gray satin bra that the medical examiner was wearing.

_Christ. I wonder if she's wearing matching-_

She cleared her throat and took a breath as she felt her cheeks flush, then quickly returned her arms around the now bare skin of Maura's waist and lifted straight up, pulling the medical examiner up so that they were both standing, arms wrapped around each other as Jane tried to ensure that she was holding the majority of Maura's weight.

The towel had fallen to the floor, and the detective was now acutely aware of every inch of Maura's skin pressing up against her. She quickly swallowed and tried to focus on the task at hand.

"Okay, I'm... gonna reach down with one hand to grab the pants and pull them the rest of the way up. So, just… pull with your arms, I guess, on my shoulders. To keep the weight off your legs."

"Um… Jane…"

"What?"

Maura looked down at the floor, and Jane followed her gaze.

There, under the towel, she spotted the top of the pants.

"They must have gotten knocked down when the towel fell," Maura observed, seemingly unaware of the effect that she was having on the brunette.

"Shit," Jane muttered. "I can't reach them while I'm standing up. I'll have to sit you back on the bed while I grab 'em."

"It might actually be easier if you just lay me down on the bed and pull them up that way," Maura suggested softly, her breath hitting the side of the detective's neck as she raised her head to peer up into Jane's piercing brown eyes.

Jane felt her fingers twitch involuntarily against Maura's skin, and the medical examiner bit her lip to stifle a chuckle as she watched Jane's cheeks turn red.

"Oh, this is funny?" the detective asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

Maura tried and failed to hide her grin, and Jane rolled her eyes playfully in response.

"I need to put your clothes on before you kill me," she sighed with a shake of her head.

This time, Maura didn't bother trying to hide the chuckle that escaped her lips, and she was pleased to feel the detective laughing quietly along with her. After a few seconds, she felt Jane's arms tighten around her as she was lifted and carried the few inches back over towards the bed. The detective laid her gently down onto the covers, hovering overtop of her for a moment and gazing down affectionately, seeming to study every inch of her with reverent appreciation. Maura held her breath, waiting, hoping to feel Jane's hands on her. And when the detective returned her eyes to Maura's, to the smile on the medical examiner's face, she closed her eyes in anticipation.

But when she opened them after a few disappointing seconds, Jane had looked away, her gaze now focused on the pants that lay across the bedroom floor. She seemed to be deciding whether or not to retrieve them, and the medical examiner wanted to help with her decision. Before the detective had a chance to move off of the bed, Maura's arms pulled down on her from their position around the back of her neck and brought their faces close enough together for the medical examiner to stretch herself up and lock her lips with Jane's.

The brunette seemed to tense for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to resist, but it was only a matter of seconds before any hint of resistance appeared to melt away as she returned the kiss with a tender yet avid passion.

The detective shifted her weight, scooting both of her knees up onto the bed so that she was straddling the blonde as she let her hands do the exploring that they had been begging to do, all the while never taking her lips from Maura's. She trailed her fingertips up the medical examiner's sides, sliding her palms slowly across towards Maura's stomach, moving her thumbs across the taut abdominal muscles as the medical examiner's tongue snuck between her lips.

Maura hummed contentedly at the feeling of Jane's warm hands against her skin, and it was enough encouragement for the detective to move them farther north. Her hands made their way up and over the smooth satin of Maura's bra, and Jane felt herself let out an involuntary whimper at the obstruction, to which the medical examiner chuckled into her mouth.

"Take… it… off," Maura said between kisses, smiling at the delight that her permission gave to the detective.

Jane didn't need to be told twice, quickly reaching underneath Maura to unhook the clasp and slide the straps down the medical examiner's arms, carefully over the splints on her hands, and then dropping it over where the rest of Maura's forgotten clothes lay. She pulled herself back a few inches and lowered her eyes to take in the sight of the newly exposed breasts, staying silent for a few seconds before speaking.

"Would it be really lame if..." Jane whispered, pausing to look up into Maura's eyes for a moment before returning her gaze to the medical examiner's chest, "... if I just tell you how _beautiful_ you are? I mean, just... _all _of you."

She looked back up into the hazel eyes as she felt an enormous smile spread across her face to match the one appearing on Maura's.

"I _know _I sound like a total cheeseball, but... you're _so _beautiful, Maura. _God_," she breathed with a shake of her head, lowering her eyes again and reaching out to gently take Maura into her hands.

She ran her thumbs across the tender skin and felt nipples hardening at her touch, and looked up to see Maura's eyes flutter closed for a moment before hungrily returning her lips to the medical examiner's as her fingers continued their exploration, confident now from the blonde's unspoken approval. Each gentle caress, each curious squeeze, each cautious yet delightful tweak earned her an appreciative sigh or moan against her lips and the tightening of arms around her neck, pulling her down as if their bodies couldn't possibly be close enough together. Jane couldn't help the smile playing at the corners of her mouth at the thought of how much Maura seemed to be enjoying her touch, but it wasn't long before she wanted to explore with something other than her hands.

Jane pulled her lips from Maura's, and the medical examiner slowly opened her eyes to smile up at the detective's amorous grin. Jane placed a few soft kisses among the freckles of Maura's neck and chest before making her way down and closing her lips around the pink tip of her breast, flicking her tongue curiously against it and smiling in response to the quiet gasp that escaped Maura's throat as she took the other in the palm of her hand and squeezed while her lips continued their fervent examination. She carefully closed her teeth, grazing them over the tender area while sucking gently and beaming at the approving moan that managed to slip unchecked out of Maura's mouth as her back arched up into the contact. As Jane peppered the area with light kisses and slipped her tongue once again around the already hardened peak, a knock at the door caused her to jerk her head up in a near panic.

"Maura, Jane. I've finished preparing lunch," Constance called from the hallway. "Come downstairs when… when you're ready."

Jane bit her lip to cover up an uncomfortable laugh as she turned her head to look at Maura, whose eyes were wide and plump lips turned slightly up in an amused smile.

"Do you think she heard us?" Jane whispered after a few seconds, leaning down to rest her chin against the medical examiner's chest as she laughed quietly.

"I certainly hope not," Maura chuckled back, pausing for a moment to catch her breath. "But she did sound a bit... uncomfortable."

"Oh my _God_," Jane lamented jokingly, "Our mothers both seem to have such _lovely _timing."

Maura laughed quietly, and Jane placed a gentle kiss to her sternum before sitting up and retrieving the blonde's discarded bra.

"Guess I should… probably actually dress you this time, huh?" she asked with a grin.

Maura smiled and gave her a nod.

"We really do need to get ready."

The detective sighed, shaking her head as she all too quickly remembered what the afternoon was going to bring.

"You know, you can still… there's still time to change your mind," she said quietly as she slipped the straps back over Maura's arms and fastened the clasp in the back.

The detective turned and retrieved the pants from the floor, pulling them up, over Maura's knees, and using one hand to raise the blonde's lower back off of the bed as she slid them the rest of the way up with the other hand. She paused to lean over and gently press her lips to the soft skin just below Maura's navel, her hands lightly resting on the medical examiner's hips before slowly sliding down to fasten the button and zipper as she sat up and saw Maura closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"I'm not... going to change my mind," Maura said quietly, as Jane began trailing feather light kisses across her stomach. "This needs to be done."

Jane stopped what she was doing to look up at her for a moment, examining her for any sign of doubt. Maura opened her eyes when she felt the absence of Jane's kisses, catching the expression on the detective's face and smiling sadly as she gave a quiet sigh.

"I want to be honest with you, Jane. But I need you to understand that my decision has already been made."

The detective nodded, lowering her brow in concern.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly, reaching over to wrap her fingers around Maura's arm and give it a gentle squeeze.

There was silence for a few seconds before Maura finally nodded and said,

"I'm... nervous. Afraid. I don't know… I don't know what to expect. What I'll feel, or what I'll say. What _you'll_ feel. I just…"

Jane shook her head.

"Don't be worried about what _I _feel, okay? I just want to make sure-"

"Jane, _listen_ to me for a moment, please."

The detective seemed to be surprised at the slight increase in her volume, but she nodded and listened quietly. Maura sighed and continued to speak.

"That's the problem. You tell me not to worry about you. I tell you not to worry about me. But we both worry anyway. And we've been keeping things from each other."

She paused to note the guilty look that flickered over Jane's face as the brunette looked away to retrieve the shirt she had laid out. Maura allowed Jane to sit her up as the shirt was slipped on over her head, carefully maneuvered past the splints on her wrists and finally settled in its rightful position on her torso.

"I _know_ you've been keeping things from me, Jane," she continued after a few seconds of silence. "And I'm not asking you to tell me about them right at this moment, whatever they are. But I also don't want you keeping things to yourself just because you don't want me to worry about you. Whatever is troubling you… _anything_, Jane… I want to help. The same way that I know you want to help me."

The detective was silent for a moment before raising her eyes to look into Maura's.

"That's why you didn't tell me you were scared? Because you were worried about _me_?" she asked quietly.

Maura nodded, and Jane smiled sadly up at her.

"So… we just kinda worry about each other even when we're keeping secrets."

The medical examiner tilted her head, unsure of where Jane was going with the statement. Jane shook her head as a quiet chuckle escaped her.

"You just want me to tell you _everything_ so you know _what _to worry about," the detective concluded, smiling at Maura's relieved expression.

"Yes," the medical examiner agreed with a quiet laugh of her own. "That would be much more convenient than generalized worry, I think."

Jane leaned over and gently kissed Maura's forehead, then made her way down for a final kiss to her lips before pulling away and reaching to put shoes on the medical examiner's feet.

"I guess I'm okay with that," she stated as she slipped on the first heel.

As she reached for the second, she added, "but that means you've gotta do it, too."

Maura nodded.

"I know, Jane. I plan to."

Jane smiled in response and reached over to grab the leather jacket left on the bed, assisting the medical examiner in carefully sliding her arms into the sleeves, then pulling the cuffs down to cover as much of the splints as they could.

"You look like a badass in that jacket," she observed with a playful wink, earning her a dimpled grin which she happily kissed before standing up and moving Maura's wheelchair over next to the bed.

"But do I look _professional_?" Maura asked seriously, holding her arms out and awaiting the detective's appraisal.

Jane nodded.

"You look like a _professional_ badass," she stated with a grin.

She felt Maura chuckling against her as she lifted her up and placed her gently into the wheelchair, and she also felt a soft kiss brush against her neck before she stood up to look back down at the medical examiner.

"Thank you, Jane," Maura said quietly, beaming up at her.

"Well, you're welcome," the detective began with a smile, "even though my logical reasoning skills seem to go out the window when you're not fully clothed."

The medical examiner raised an eyebrow as she chuckled.

"Oh, I think your logical reasoning was working quite well… you were just more interested in using it to get your _hands_ on me than to get _clothes_ on me."

Jane shook her head with a laugh as she grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed it over towards the door.

"I can neither confirm nor deny," she stated innocently, pulling the door open and pushing Maura out into the hall.

"That's what I thought," the blonde laughed.

Jane paused at the top of the stairs to walk around in front of the wheelchair and crouch down to speak with Maura.

"You're really sure about this?"

Maura took a breath and nodded, and Jane sighed, leaning in to give her an encouraging kiss.

"Then let's get some food and hit the road."

She smiled as she stood up, and Maura smiled back.

But as soon as they were both out of each other's line of sight, worry appeared on their faces once again.


	51. Chapter 51

**Finally getting a little bit of breathing room with my schoolwork, which hopefully means more time to write! Happy to get this next update out to you, and I'm looking forward to the ones coming up. I hope you're all still enjoying the story! As always, your feedback is much appreciated- your reviews are very encouraging and really do mean a lot. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and look for the next update (hopefully) within the next few days!**

**Enjoy =)**

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"Jane, I must complement your choice of outfit for Maura," Constance said as she began to clear the dishes after lunch, turning to Maura and adding, "You do look lovely, darling."

"Thank you," the two said in unison, meeting each other's gaze from across the table as they shared a smile and a chuckle.

Jane stood up to help Mrs. Isles with the dishes, pausing to press her lips to Maura's forehead with a grin as she grabbed the medical examiner's plate and silverware and carried them over towards the outstretched hands of Maura's mother.

"Will you two be here for dinner?" Constance asked quietly.

She turned and placed the dishes into the sink, turning on the hot water as Jane's brow lowered in confusion.

"I don't know of any reason why we _wouldn't_ be," the detective responded.

Constance turned to speak quietly over her shoulder as she reached into the soapy water and pulled out a serving bowl to be washed.

"I was just thinking that this interview may take quite a bit out of her. She may not be particularly interested in coming back here and sitting around the dinner table with everyone after it's over. I imagine she'll be wanting to spend time with you."

"Oh… well, um…"

Jane looked back towards where Maura was seated at the table, smiling gently at her before turning back around to continue speaking to Constance.

"I guess I hadn't really thought about that," she admitted quietly.

Mrs. Isles nodded.

"Perfectly understandable, dear. You've had a lot on your mind lately, I know."

"I don't think she'd want to go out anywhere. When we had our… our _date_," she paused, noting the pleased smile that briefly flickered across Constance's face, "…she really didn't want to go anywhere, so we stayed here."

Maura's mother gave her a reassuring smile as she shook her head gently.

"I'm not suggesting you need to take her anywhere, Jane. It just occurred to me earlier that she may not be in a particularly social mood when you return, and I was curious as to whether you'd given the matter some similar thought."

"Well… I hadn't really before, but I definitely _will_ think about it," Jane said with a nod. "I'll talk to her and call you later to let you know."

As Jane turned to walk back over to the table, she was stopped by a light touch at her elbow.

"Watch out for her, Jane," Constance said quietly.

The detective nodded sincerely.

"You know I will," she whispered.

When Mrs. Isles turned back around to continue washing the dishes, Jane turned and headed back over to Maura, pasting a smile on her face as she knelt down to talk to her.

"You ready to head out?" she asked quietly.

"About as ready as I'll be, I suppose," Maura replied with a tired smile. She tilted her head curiously and added, "What were you two talking about?"

Jane smirked and raised her eyebrows playfully.

"How _good_ you look in that jacket," she replied, making a show of running her eyes up and down the medical examiner's torso.

Maura chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I'm _sure_."

"Okay, okay. We weren't," Jane admitted with a smile. "We were actually just talking about what you might want to do for dinner. Thought I'd talk to you about it later, though. See how you're feeling after."

She paused to deliver a quick kiss to Maura's lips, adding with a smile,

"But you _do _look good. And it isn't just the jacket."

The medical examiner smiled appreciatively, then lowered her brow as confusion crossed her face.

"Did you want to… do something special for dinner? You don't want to eat here?" she asked.

Jane shook her head.

"We can just talk about it later. It's not that I don't want to eat here, I just don't know if you're gonna feel up to dinner with both of our mothers after we're done at headquarters. Thought you might like something more private, maybe."

Maura nodded slowly and grinned, raising an eyebrow as a thought occurred to her.

"Are you trying to get me alone, detective?" she teased quietly.

Jane chuckled and shook her head.

"It was your _mother's_ suggestion, actually," she admitted. "I'm not that smooth, Maura."

The medical examiner shook her head in disagreement, fixing her gaze on the detective as a playful smile crept onto her lips.

"I personally think you're _very _smooth, Jane. You demonstrated that fact quite well before lunch," Maura whispered with a conspiratorial wink, laughing at the heat that instantly flooded into Jane's cheeks as the brunette turned to make sure that Constance wasn't able to hear them. "I _particularly _enjoyed the part when you-"

"_Really_, Maura? With your mother standing right there?" Jane whispered in disbelief as an amused smile began to form at the corners of her mouth.

The medical examiner chuckled and leaned over to gently bring their lips together, pulling back to brush a kiss across one of Jane's dimples.

She let out a quiet sigh before opening her mouth to speak.

"We actually need to get going, at the moment," she said quietly, "but we will continue this discussion later. _Not_ in front of my mother."

The detective shook her head as she stood up slowly and grabbed the handles of Maura's wheelchair, pushing it over towards the door.

"Which part of the discussion will we continue?" Jane whispered as they walked. "The dinner part, or the… _other_?"

Maura peered up at her from the chair, grinning as she responded,

"Both, Jane. But… mostly _other_."

* * *

"… and I thought it was a very interesting documentary, but it was difficult for me to look past all of the blatant historical discrepancies. I can overlook them in works of fiction, of course, but I just… I have higher standards when it comes to informational media."

Maura shook her head as a smile crossed her face, turning over to look at Jane as the brunette flicked on her turn signal and turned the car onto a side street.

"You would have absolutely hated it," she informed the detective.

Jane raised an eyebrow as she stole a glance over at the medical examiner.

"Oh, yeah. You know how I _hate_ those historical discrepancies," she teased.

She laughed and reached over to give Maura's arm a gentle squeeze, letting her hand rest there for a moment as they pulled up to a red light.

"I did see one recently that you may have actually enjoyed. About baseball. It was regarding the debilitating injuries suffered by players who refuse to seek treatment for… why are you looking at me like that?"

Jane was watching her intently with an affectionate smile, and when she heard the question, she shrugged her shoulders almost imperceptibly as the smile widened.

"I just… I really missed this," she said quietly, glancing out the windshield to make sure that the light hadn't yet changed.

She returned her gaze to Maura's to see that the medical examiner was watching her expectantly.

"Just… you know, just driving around with you. You talking to me about all the stuff that you know, and all the stuff that you think _I_ should know. I missed being able to just look over and see you in my passenger seat, telling me I'm going the wrong way or I'm going too fast or I shouldn't eat while I'm driving."

She paused to lean in and lightly kiss Maura's temple as the blonde smiled over at her.

"Just missed havin' my best friend with me all the time," she finished quietly.

The light turned green and she flashed one last smile at Maura before pressing on the gas and continuing on the way to headquarters. The medical examiner was silent for a moment before saying,

"It won't be like this forever, Jane. As long as I keep up with a proper schedule for my physical rehabilitation, I should be able to come back to work in just a couple of months."

"Oh, you're _definitely_ coming back," Jane said definitively. "There's no _way_ I'm letting you stick me with Pike for any longer than necessary. As soon as you can hold a scalpel, you're coming back."

Maura chuckled and shook her head.

"I have to be able to do more with the scalpel than simply _hold _it, Jane."

"Yeah, well… you'd still be better than him even if all you could do is _look_ at it."

"I think that's a slight exaggeration," Maura laughed. "I don't have any special telekinetic abilities, that I'm aware of."

Jane opened her mouth to respond, but was silenced when the amused expression quickly faded from Maura's face. She followed the medical examiner's gaze a few buildings down and realized that they were quickly approaching their destination. The detective gave Maura's arm a reassuring a squeeze before returning her hand to the wheel and flicking on her signal to maneuver into the street parking in front of the building.

"You know you're not supposed to park here," Maura said quietly.

"They'll get over it."

"They could tow your car."

"_I'll_ get over it."

Maura peeked over at her and managed a small smile, which Jane returned as she shut off the car and turned her body in the seat to face the medical examiner.

"You still want to do this? If you don't want to, I'll take off right now. You know that."

Maura nodded and gave her an appreciative smile.

"I know you would. But we're here, and I need to do this."

She sighed.

"Let's just get this over with, Jane."

The detective did her best to offer a reassuring smile before leaning over and placing a tentative kiss to Maura's cheek. She reached up with her left hand to rest it under the medical examiner's jaw, running her thumb along Maura's cheek as the blonde turned to gently press her lips to Jane's.

When Maura pulled back after a few seconds, she rested her forehead against Jane's and let out a quiet sigh.

"Remember. Dimples is the code word," Jane said with a gentle grin.

The medical examiner smiled up at her, closing her eyes as she received an affectionate kiss to her own.

"Ready?" Jane asked after a few more seconds.

Maura nodded, and the detective sighed as she unfastened both of their seatbelts and popped open her car door, climbing out and walking around to the other side of the vehicle. She opened up the passenger side door and looked down at Maura.

"You're definitely sure you're doing this?"

"I'm definitely sure, Jane."

The detective nodded and took a breath.

"Okay, then. Let's do it."

She went to retrieve Maura's wheelchair from the backseat, setting it on the ground and securing the brake, then carefully reached into the car and lifted Maura out and into the chair. Jane closed the door and hit the lock button, wheeling the medical examiner up onto the curb, then lifting her up the few steps to the front door of the building.

"You know there's a ramp, right?" Maura asked with a smirk.

"Don't wanna walk that far," Jane replied as she pulled the wheelchair backward through the first set of doors. Then another thought occurred to her as she quickly added, "Unless it's uncomfortable when I take you up the stairs?"

Maura chuckled and shook her head.

"No, Jane. It's fine. I just thought it would be easier on you, that's all."

"Well, hey. I take those stairs at your house just fine. These few steps here are _cake_," the detective joked, giving Maura's shoulder a gentle squeeze as they pushed through the second set of doors and into the lobby.

Every eye seemed to turn towards them as they passed, and Maura couldn't help smiling as she felt a shadow creep down across her body from the way Jane was leaning protectively overtop her chair. It was just subtle enough for her to wonder if the detective even realized what she was doing. She had to admit, it did make her feel just a bit safer.

They travelled down the hall and turned a corner to see Frost and Korsak waiting next to a closed door. The detectives forced smiles onto their faces as they watched the two women approach, and Maura tried to do the same. But when she glanced up at Jane, she could tell that the brunette wasn't bothering to fake a smile.

"Good to see you around here again, Dr. Isles," Korsak said quietly.

Frost nodded in agreement as he reached over to open up the door for Jane to wheel Maura inside.

"We'll try to get this over with as fast as we can," he assured her.

But Maura shook her head with a sad smile.

"It's okay, Detective Frost. Just do your job. Take whatever time you need to do it right."

She felt Jane's hand coming to rest on her shoulder and give her a gentle squeeze as the detective pushed the wheelchair into the room and pulled a folding chair right up next to her. As Frost and Korsak made their way into the room and took their seats on the other side of the table, Maura looked over to Jane and tried to smile at her as she took a deep breath.

Jane responded with a weak smile of her own before scooting her chair a few inches closer to the medical examiner and letting her hands come to rest on the table in front of her, looking directly across at the two detectives staring back at her. Maura could sense the challenge in her expression, and desperately hoped that she wouldn't make the interview any more difficult than it needed to be. For any of them.

"Are you ready, Dr. Isles?" Korsak asked her gently.

The medical examiner watched as one of Jane's hands moved off of the table and came to rest on her forearm, her fingers unconsciously tightening against Maura's jacket sleeve. It wasn't uncomfortable or painful, but Maura was certain that the detective didn't mean to be gripping her arm as tightly as she was.

She was instantly reminded of their visit to Peter Evanston's house, what felt like a lifetime ago now. When a ball python had made its way across the couch and Jane had grabbed her arm in a similarly desperate manner. Out of fear.

And Maura was certain that fear was driving this vice grip, too.

_Oh, yes, _she thought. _It's going to be difficult._

"Dr. Isles?" Korsak asked again, bringing her quickly back to the present.

Maura smiled and looked over to Jane to give her a reassuring nod.

_Perhaps more difficult for Jane than for me._

"I'm ready, Sergeant," she said without taking her eyes from Jane's.

"Alright then," Korsak replied quietly, gently laying a folder down onto the table and flipping it open as Frost readied his notepad.

"Let's get started."


	52. Chapter 52

**Not sure when I'll have the next chapter finished, but I'm hoping to have at least one by next weekend. As always, thank you so much for reading and for reviewing- I'm so glad you've been enjoying the story and I hope you continue to do so! Feedback is always appreciated!**

**Enjoy! =)**

* * *

"Why don't you start with your arrival at BCU campus, and just tell us what you remember. If we have any specific questions, we'll ask them as they come up."

Maura nodded and cleared her throat, glancing down at Jane's fingers as they tightened even more around her arm. When the detective noticed what she was looking at, and realized how tightly she was gripping Maura's arm, she quickly pulled her hand away and brought it up to rest on the tabletop.

"Sorry," she whispered, without meeting the medical examiner's gaze.

Maura watched her for a moment, registering the way her hands had reflexively balled into loose fists and the focus of her eyes as she narrowed them on Korsak. As if she was ready to spring into action at the first hint of an uncomfortable question. The medical examiner thought she should be feeling comforted by Jane's presence, and yet… there was something about it that was almost troubling.

"Dr. Isles?" Frost prompted gently from across the table.

She shifted her eyes to Jane's partner and managed a weak smile.

"Yes. Of course. Sorry, I was… yes. I arrived on campus at approximately 10:30 in the morning. I had an appointment with Dr. Reisman at eleven, but I left myself some extra time because of the construction and I… but you don't need to know that part, of course."

Maura paused to chuckle nervously and, oddly enough, found herself wishing that Jane's hand was squeezing her arm again. She missed its contact, but wasn't willing to voice the request. She cleared her throat and continued.

"I went into the building and began walking back towards the faculty offices, but I was stopped by… I didn't realize at the time… but it was Colby Martin."

As the name left her lips, she reflexively glanced over at Jane and saw the subtle set of the detective's jaw. Jane caught her gaze and reached a hand over to rest against her back, gently running her fingertips up and down Maura's spine. The medical examiner smiled appreciatively, feeling herself relax a bit at the comforting touch, and took a breath.

"He greeted me, and told me that he had been waiting for me to arrive so that he could walk me to my meeting. It… maybe it should've seemed odd, but… I suppose my 'gut' has never been quite as accurate as Jane's."

She looked up, trying to smile, but she couldn't. And she was met with equally joyless expressions from all three detectives. Again, she returned to her narrative.

"So, I followed him down to the labs. He didn't say much, really. Until we got to his office. I remember being confused, when he mentioned that it was _his_ office, because I was expecting him to take me to Dr. Reisman's lab. But he told me that Dr. Reisman was on his way to meet us, and I believed him, of course. So, I was looking at some of the decorations that he had on his shelves. Antiques. Memorabilia. Photographs. And I didn't notice the railroad spikes at first, because they were a bit hidden by some of the other items."

At the mention of the railroad spikes, Maura felt Jane's hand stop its motion against her back. It rested in one spot for a moment, as the detective seemed to process the information, and then resumed its soothing gesture.

"Did you notice what was on the shelf near the spikes when you saw them? If he'd placed them next to any photographs of a… a location? Or a person?" Korsak asked.

Maura closed her eyes for a minute, trying to reconstruct the mental image of those shelves. But in all honesty, she hadn't paid enough attention to their contents to recall anything in particular. Anything other than the railroad spikes.

She shook her head, shaking the image away as a light feeling of nausea began to settle into her stomach.

"I don't remember. I can't… I can't see anything clearly enough to remember what they were. I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize," Jane said quietly. "You can't remember something you didn't get a good look at in the first place."

"Well, actually, there is some research to indicate that the subconscious-"

She stopped when she noticed the weakly amused expression that crossed Jane's face, and felt a matching one forming on her own lips.

"Save that thought, and you can tell me about it later," Jane whispered with a smile.

Maura couldn't help noticing that it didn't reach to her eyes. They didn't crinkle around the edges as they normally did when she was actually happy. A familiar expression that Maura had always secretly loved. And now, she noticed, Jane's mouth was smiling, but her eyes… they weren't.

Jane's hand moved off of the medical examiner's back and made its way back around to her arm, resting lightly this time instead of squeezing. The detective turned to look at Korsak and gave him a slight nod, and the older man asked,

"Okay, Dr. Isles. And when you noticed the railroad spikes. What happened next?"

As the memory flooded her senses, she felt the nausea again, and the steady thrum of her heartbeat as its pace increased without her permission. Maura nodded and took a breath, composing herself before speaking.

"As I saw them, I felt the gun against my back. He was saying something, but… all I could think about was that gun. I don't remember what he said. He pushed me over towards the stool, by his desk, and told me to sit. So, I did. And… I remember trying to engage him in conversation. Because there's some research to support the theory that personifying yourself can increase your chances of survival in similar encounters, but… he didn't want me talking to him. He just… told me to shut up and sit there."

She paused to clear her throat again, glancing over to check on Jane during the silence. The detective was staring down at her lap, her fingers beginning to slowly tighten their grip on Maura's arm again as her free hand curled into an unintentional fist on the table top. Maura glanced up and made eye contact with Frost, who flicked his eyes over towards Jane and then returned them to Maura's with a slight shake of his head. As if telling her to leave it alone and continue her story. So, that's what she would do.

"He kept the gun on me while he picked up the spikes, and he put them into his pocket and walked over towards where I was sitting. He… somehow, he got a hammer. But I don't remember where he got it from. One of the drawers, or the shelves, I suppose. I just remember him walking towards me, with the gun pointed... and I knew he had those spikes in his pocket, and I knew what he was going to do with them and I… I was waiting for him to put the gun down to use the hammer. And I thought… maybe then I could… could _do _something."

As Maura paused, she noticed her heart was pounding now and an uncomfortable lump was rising in her throat. She swallowed it down.

_Keep it together. Tell it like a story. Like it happened to someone else. Just talk, don't feel._

"And did he? Put the gun down?" Frost asked, interrupting her thoughts.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jane raise her head to look over, making grim eye contact as she waited for Maura's answer. Without looking away, the medical examiner shook her head.

"No. He didn't."

Maura turned back towards Korsak, unable to hold Jane's gaze any longer. Unable to look directly into the pain behind the detective's eyes without feeling it herself, and she knew if that happened, she'd never be able to get through the interview.

She took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders back, sitting up a bit straighter in her chair as she proceeded, her voice quiet in the irrational hope that perhaps Korsak and Frost might hear her but Jane wouldn't.

"He got out a roll of duct tape and put a piece of it over my mouth. Then he took another piece and used it to hold the spike against the back of my hand, so that he wouldn't have to lower his gun while he hammered it in. And it… I passed out from the pain of it. I don't know how long I was unconscious, but when I woke, the spikes were in both of my hands already."

"And the snake? When did that come in?" Korsak prompted.

Jane shot him a look, and Maura shook her head, silently willing Jane to be calm.

"He brought out the snake after I woke up. He… said something about doing to me what he'd done to the others."

She paused, a shiver running up her spine as his voice suddenly echoed through her brain.

"_For 'research' purposes_," she recited quietly.

Jane's fingers tightened on her arm, and Maura looked up to see the detective watching her with a terrifying intensity. An unsettling mix of anguish and fury loomed behind the dark brown eyes of the brunette as her mind raced, imagining in vivid detail what Maura was describing. Imagining what Maura must have been feeling, how much pain she must have been in.

And imagining how different things would have been if she'd been there to protect her.

For a brief moment, Maura considered looking away from Jane and continuing with her account. But there was something about the expression on the detective's face that she couldn't ignore. The way that Jane had her eyes so desperately locked on Maura's, as if incapable of looking away. The flickers of fear behind the mask of anger she wore.

"Dimples," Maura whispered, so softly that only Jane could hear.

It took the detective only a moment to register that she had spoken the word, but before she had time to turn to Frost and Korsak, Maura was already speaking to them.

"Could you give us a moment alone, please?" she asked.

"Of course," Frost replied gently, nodding as the two men got up and left the room.

After the door had been closed, Maura turned to face the woman next to her.

"Are you okay? We can go if you need to," Jane asked quietly, bringing her free hand down from off of the table and grasping Maura's other arm with it.

The medical examiner shook her head, concern etched onto her features.

"I don't need to leave, Jane."

She paused for a moment, then proceeded with a question.

"Do _you_?"

The detective was taken aback, her jaw opening as if to respond, then shutting quickly as her brow lowered in confusion.

"Of course I don't need- Why would you ask me that?" Jane asked quietly.

Maura sighed, glancing down at Jane's hands before looking back up into the detective's eyes. The brunette's face flushed as she quickly pulled her hands back and set them in her lap.

"I'm _fine_, Maura," she said. "Just got a little… you know, nervous or something, I guess."

The medical examiner shook her head, not willing to accept the explanation she'd been given.

"I need you to be honest with me, Jane," she implored the detective. "If this is too difficult for you, it's okay to tell me. I _want_ you to tell me."

"It's _not_. Okay? It's not too difficult. I'm here for _you_. This is… I mean, it's gotta be way harder on _you _than it is on _me_. You don't need to check up on me, Maura. I'm fine."

Maura watched her closely for a moment, putting together her next thought before voicing it out loud.

"Maybe it isn't such a good idea for you to be in here for this," she whispered.

She watched as confusion and frustration took over Jane's face, the detective's jaw hanging just slightly open in shock.

"I never should have asked you to come in with me. I just… I _wanted_ you with me, and I didn't really think it would-"

"Stop, Maura," Jane whispered, shaking her head as she glanced over towards the door and then proceeded to scoot her chair a few inches closer to medical examiner. "I am _not _leaving."

"I _know _you want to help me, Jane. And… it really _does_ make me feel so much… so much _safer_ and so much _stronger_ when you're with me. I'd be lying if I told you that I don't want you here. I _do_. But not if it's going to hurt you. And I could see it happening, Jane. I could _see_ the way you were looking at me. I just… I know you have a… a _history_. And I should have taken that into account when I-"

Jane cut her off with a shake of her head, her voice rising from a whisper to a quiet rumble.

"My personal experiences have _nothing_ to do with-"

But Maura wasn't finished speaking, and she quickly interrupted Jane's argument with one of her own, voice rising to match the detective's.

"No, Jane, I just don't want to be digging up emotions for you that you shouldn't have to-"

"I can handle my emotions just fine."

"But I don't think either of us knew how this would affect y-"

"I'm not letting this happen to you again, Maura!"

Jane had raised her voice only slightly, but it was enough for Maura to absorb the desperation behind the words. She fell silent as the significance of the detective's wording sank in, watching as Jane closed her eyes and ran a hand back through her curls, slumping back against her chair as if exhausted.

After a few moments of silence, Maura finally whispered,

"Again?"

The detective slowly turned her head to look into the hazel eyes staring back at her, tilting her head as her brow lowered in confusion.

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

"You said… you said that you're not going to let this happen _again_."

"Well, I didn't… I don't know, I didn't mean it like that."

"Like what?"

Maura reached her hand over to gently rest it on the detective's knee. Encouraging her to say whatever thoughts she was holding back. Jane looked down at the contact and gently grabbed the edges of the medical examiner's splint to turn her hand palm side up. She carefully slipped her fingertips in between Maura's and sighed.

"I don't know what I meant."

"Jane. You may not get hives, but I can still tell when you're not being honest with me."

The detective raised her eyes to the tired smile on Maura's face and shook her head sadly, pausing for a few seconds before returning her gaze back down to their interlocked fingertips and finally speaking.

"I don't want you… to _feel _like that again."

She took Maura's silence as a request for elaboration.

"You… when it happened, Maura, you were just… you were _alone_," she said quietly, as she struggled to find the words. "And I know you were scared, and you were probably looking for me… probably wondering where I was, and when I was gonna show up, and I should've _been _there. But I _wasn't_. And just hearing you talk about it… I can just keep picturing it in my head. Thinking how scared you must have been. Everything that happened."

Jane paused to raise her eyes and lock them on Maura's.

"I don't _ever _want you to be alone and scared like that again, Maura. Not ever. And I knew talking about this… it was gonna make you feel scared again. It _is _making you feel scared again. And I know that I can't just… I can't just make this _not _scare you. I can't keep it from hurting you to talk about it. But I _can_ make sure that I'm right here with you. I can make sure you're not alone this time."

She carefully removed her hand from Maura's and reached up to rest it at the base of the medical examiner's jaw, her fingers brushing against honey blonde locks as she ran her thumb gently across Maura's cheek.

"I'm staying," she said quietly.

The medical examiner turned her head slightly to press her lips against the scar in the center of Jane's palm, closing her eyes as she gave her head a gentle nod.

"Okay," Maura agreed as she opened her eyes and smiled up at the detective.

After a few seconds of comfortable silence, she added,

"But… could you be a little bit more gentle with my arm? I think I'm getting a bruise."

Maura's smile widened into a grin, and it only took a moment for a smile to appear on Jane's face as well. The brunette shook her head as she leaned over to deliver a gentle kiss to the dimple on the medical examiner's face.

"Deal," she chuckled.

As the detective pulled back a few inches, she felt the smile fade slowly from her face before asking a serious question of the blonde.

"How are you holding up, though? Are you okay?"

Maura managed a smile as she gave her shoulders a slight shrug.

"It's certainly no worse than I imagined it would be," she answered. "Although… I _will_ be glad when it's over."

Jane couldn't help smiling at the honesty, gently running her thumb across Maura's cheek one final time before lowering her hand and sighing deeply.

"So… should I go get the boys?" she whispered. "Wrap this thing up and get you out of here?"

Maura nodded.

"I'm ready if you are."

The detective stood up and turned to head towards the door, seeming to have a second thought as she leaned down to gently press her lips to Maura's forehead with a smile. She took a breath, straightened back up and walked over towards the door, disappearing through it and returning with Frost and Korsak in tow.

"Is everything alright?" Frost asked Jane quietly as Korsak took a seat.

"Yeah, we're good. Just needed a little breather."

Her partner gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and a smile before taking a seat next to the older man, and Jane then made her way back over to sit next to Maura, sliding her hand across to rest it on the medical examiner's leg.

"Are you ready, Dr. Isles?" Korsak asked.

Maura nodded, glancing briefly over at Jane as she felt an intentionally reassuring squeeze against her leg. She cleared her throat and paused to consider where they had left off in her account.

"The snake," she said quietly, remembering.

This time, she didn't look over to Jane as she spoke of it.

"He had gone out into the lab for just a moment and when he came back, he was carrying an aquarium. I could see the snake inside of it, and it only took me a few seconds to identify it as the eastern coral snake. I do remember him telling me that he had to keep the snake at the lab, and not at his house. If that's helpful."

Frost smiled appreciatively as he made a note.

"It's all helpful, Maura," Jane whispered next to her. "You're doing so good."

"_Well_," the medical examiner quietly corrected her, earning a muted grin. "But thank you, Jane."

"She's right, Dr. Isles. Every little bit of information helps."

Maura nodded appreciatively at Korsak and closed her eyes briefly as she inhaled.

"So. He retrieved a pair of work gloves and put them on to handle the snake. Many snakes can actually bite through gloves, but the coral snake has rather small teeth that can't penetrate thick fabrics. He was… quite prepared, I would say. And he told me that he was going to put the snake on my lap, and that if I didn't move, I would be safe. As long as nothing scared the snake, it wouldn't bite. He said that's what he'd told the others, too."

She paused for a moment, remembering what happened next.

"He began talking to me about the antivenin. He seemed rather… well, he seemed very upset about the halt in production of the antivenin. Angry with the pharmaceutical corporations that had made the decision. I had actually come across the topic in a research journal a few months prior, but I hadn't really thought about its implications until… until I was staring at that snake for myself."

She raised her eyes to see Frost and Korsak exchanging glances on the other side of the table as the younger man wrote something down.

"So… he was mad about the antivenom?" Jane asked, her brow lowered in thought as she processed the information.

Maura nodded.

"I would say he was quite upset about it. I remember him specifically saying that he hated the pharmaceutical corporations, and I believe he referred to them as 'money-hungry bastards' at one point."

This caused all of the detectives to straighten up in their chairs, exchanging meaningful looks as they began formulating theories. Maura almost allowed herself to be excited that her information was helpful, until she remembered another statement that caused her to shake her head with a frown.

"He also said that wasn't why he'd killed the first two victims. I remember him saying that it had-"

Maura stopped speaking for a moment as a forgotten memory clicked itself into place in her mind. She turned towards Jane, eyes wide with realization.

"His leg," she whispered to the detective.

Jane watched her intently, confused.

"What do you mean?" she asked, glancing over at the two men who seemed equally lost by her revelation.

She shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment as she ordered her thoughts before presenting them to the detectives. When she opened them again, she fixed her gaze on Jane's and spoke with purposeful clarity.

"His _leg_, Jane. I can't believe I'd forgotten. He told me that the antivenin had nothing to do with why he killed those victims. He told me that, with them, it had been '_more personal_'. And I can't believe I forgot… when I first sat down on that stool, I noticed it. He had a prosthetic leg, Jane. '_No thanks to those assholes_.' That's what he said when I asked him about it. '_No thanks to those assholes_.'"

Jane inhaled deeply as she looked over towards Frost and Korsak, who were both watching her intently.

"Sounds pretty goddamn _personal_ to me," the brunette said to break the stunned silence, turning towards the medical examiner. "Maura, if you looked at the list of drugs he was taking, would you be able to tell us if one of them could've had anything to do with-"

"I can't say for certain, but I could try. There are a number of drugs that can have devastating side effects to the circulation in the limbs if not monitored properly. I'd just need to look at his medical records."

Jane smiled and gave her leg another squeeze before pulling her hand away and relocating it against Maura's back.

"_God_, I miss havin' you here," she breathed with a shake of her head.

"I think everyone but Dr. Pike misses you, doc," Frost added from across the table, resulting in quiet laughter from everyone and a reddish tint to appear on Maura's cheeks.

This time when the medical examiner fixed her gaze on the dark eyes of the brunette, she noticed the familiar wrinkling from the smile that she loved so much. This time, it was there. It was a _real_ smile. And as Maura felt one of her own make its way across her face, Jane was watching her and thinking the exact same thing.


	53. Chapter 53

**I actually hope to get another chapter up later this weekend, possibly Sunday. Until then, I hope you enjoy this one! As always, thank you all so much for reading and for leaving your feedback! It really makes me happy to see how much you're loving the story, and I hope you continue to do so. Thank you so much! =) Enjoy!**

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By the time Jane carefully wheeled Maura out the front doors and down the stairs outside of headquarters, the sun was nearly set. It wasn't completely dark yet, but the natural lighting was dim enough that she didn't see the slip of paper tucked under the windshield wiper on the driver's side of her unmarked. The medical examiner, however, didn't miss it.

"Looks like someone left you a note, Jane," Maura said quietly, looking over towards the folded sheet as its edges moved almost imperceptibly with the slight breeze.

The detective turned to follow her gaze, and Maura immediately noticed the concern that crossed her features when she spotted the note. Jane took a step away from the medical examiner so that she could reach the windshield, where she quickly grabbed the slip of paper and opened it to start reading.

Her shoulders instantly relaxed as an amused smile turned up the corners of her lips.

"What does it say?" Maura asked.

Jane shook her head with a chuckle and read,

"Only doin this for Dr. Isles. Next time I'm towin it, Rizzoli. – Mo."

Jane laughed again as she slipped the note into her pocket, grabbing the handles of Maura's wheelchair as she slid it down off of the curb and around to the passenger side of the car.

"Guess Frost wasn't kidding when he said everyone but Pike misses you," she joked, pleased to hear Maura's appreciative laughter in response.

The detective bent down to scoop Maura up into her arms, waiting for the medical examiner's arms secured around the back of her neck before lifting her out of the chair and into the passenger seat of the car. Once seated, Maura let her arms linger for a moment, keeping Jane close to her so she could bring their lips together. Despite the stress of the day, the feeling of Jane's lips on hers instantly eased the tension in her shoulders and neck that she hadn't even realized was there. She pulled back slowly to look up into the warm, dark eyes that had been watching her affectionately.

"I could do this all day," Jane whispered, pausing to return her lips briefly to the medical examiner's, "…but I want to get you inside before it gets dark. So… hold that thought."

Maura chuckled and delivered a gentle kiss to the detective's forehead before releasing her arms from their position around her neck. After flashing her an affectionate grin, Jane folded up the wheelchair and threw it into the backseat of the car, then headed around to the driver's side as her phone started ringing.

"Rizzoli," she answered, climbing into the driver's seat and fastening her seatbelt before reaching over to do the same for Maura.

Her brow lowered in concern at whatever news she was hearing, and Maura couldn't control the reflexive increase of her heartbeat. Something was wrong.

"Okay. We'll be there in a few minutes. Thank you for calling me."

"What is it?" Maura asked quietly as the detective ended the call.

"That was your mother," Jane stated.

She started up the engine and waited a few seconds before sighing and turning to face her passenger.

"I don't want you to worry about it, because it's probably nothing. I asked your mother to call me if any more packages were delivered to your house, after… well, after what happened. She was calling to tell me that one was delivered earlier today, so I just want to go check it out for you. Make sure it's just shoes or whatever else you ordered. Not a big deal, just a precaution."

Jane reached over to give Maura's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, smiling gently at her before putting the car in gear and pulling out of the spot.

"Do you really think it's nothing, or are you just saying that for my benefit?"

Jane was quiet for a moment as she considered the question, then shook her head and looked over with a smile.

"You know what? I don't know. I _hope_ it's nothing. But if it's not, then… well, at least I know better than to go setting it on your lap while I open it this time."

Maura couldn't help chuckling a little as Jane grinned at her before turning back to look out the windshield and continue driving. With the detective's eyes focused elsewhere, Maura felt the smile slowly fade from her face as her thoughts landed on the imagined content of the box at her doorstep.

_It could be nothing. It could just be something that you ordered. _

_But you don't remember ordering anything, do you?_

"You okay?"

Maura turned towards the sound of Jane's voice to see the brunette's face etched with concern.

"Hey, just don't… just think about somethin' else. Like, uh…what do you want to do for dinner? After we stop off at your place?"

The medical examiner allowed herself to smile as she diverted her attention to Jane's question.

"Pizza," she responded without thinking, surprised by her own response.

Jane was surprised too, her eyebrows raising in disbelief as she repeated,

"Pizza?"

Maura nodded, suddenly realizing just how hungry she was.

"Yes. Definitely pizza."

The detective narrowed her eyes, returning them to the road before glancing back briefly over at Maura to ask,

"You sure you don't want… I don't know, some… weird, healthy stuff that I can't pronounce? Or kale? You're actually _requesting_ pizza?"

"Yes, Jane. I am requesting pizza. But I might change my mind if you-"

"No! No, no. No need for that. I'm good with pizza."

Jane flashed another grin Maura's way before focusing back on the road, slowing as they approached the medical examiner's house and pulling carefully up into the driveway. As the detective shut off the engine, Constance opened the front door and came outside.

"I'm just gonna go check this out and come right back. I'll take you inside once the coast is clear," Jane said with a smile.

"Wait, you… we're staying here?"

Jane tilted her head in confusion, turning and motioning to Constance that she'd be out in a moment.

"I thought you wanted to get food delivered. Is that… _not _what you had in mind?"

Maura shook her head.

"I thought we could go pick it up. Just… I could spend a little more time with you, without our mothers around."

The detective smiled and leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Alright. Well… let me go take a look at this and we'll talk about it in a minute. Okay?"

Maura nodded, and Jane opened up the car door and stepped out into the darkening evening. As she took a few steps towards Constance, she leaned down to pick up a small box from the ground next to the door, examining it closely before speaking to Maura's mother in a voice low enough that the medical examiner couldn't hear.

The blonde watched as Constance handed a pair of scissors to the detective, who glanced over her shoulder at Maura and turned her back to the car while slicing open the top of the box. After a moment, she pulled out what appeared to be a large, hardcover book, handing the empty box to Constance with a smile before making her way back towards the car with the contents of the package in her hands.

She climbed into the driver's seat and shut the door, turning towards Maura and reading the title of the book she was holding.

"_Academic Forensic Pathology. _By the size of this thing, I better not hear any complaints from you about being bored for at _least_ the next few days," the detective joked. "Damn thing sure is heavy."

Maura couldn't help laughing as relief washed over her.

"I didn't realize it was time for the physical copy to be sent out yet. They only produce an annual copy. Everything is online during the quarterly publications."

Jane turned and placed the book onto the backseat of her car.

"Yeah, well… maybe they should just consider _keeping_ it all online. Probably cost a fortune to ship that monster."

"Hey, I _like_ having the physical copy. I keep the latest edition in my nightstand and read it before falling asleep."

The detective smirked.

"Yeah, I'll bet that thing puts you _right_ to sleep."

Maura chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"_No_, Jane. That's just generally the only time that I have available to read it. And you'd be surprised at how relaxing it is to read before bed. Of course, I haven't exactly been able to do it lately because of my injuries…"

She held up her hands with a shrug, then turned to smile over at Jane.

"…but falling asleep with you has been an acceptable alternative."

"Only _acceptable_?" Jane gasped, raising an eyebrow. "I'd better step up my game, then. I'm aiming for at _least_ 'minimally enjoyable', although 'cuddle master' is my ultimate goal. I'll need to get in some more practice, I guess."

She wiggled her eyebrows playfully, smiling at the quiet laughter that she evoked from the medical examiner.

"Stop," Maura chuckled. "You know what I meant. I didn't mean to imply that you possess sub-par cuddling abilities."

"Oh, wait, now I'm _below average_?"

Maura glared playfully over at her and raised an eyebrow.

"You know, you're lucky I can't hit you with my hands in these things."

Jane simply grinned and turned the ignition key, her eyes still locked on the medical examiner. As she opened her mouth to speak, what had been a playful grin slipped into a more affectionate, serious smile.

"Well, I'm definitely lucky. But I don't think it has anything to do with you hitting me," she said quietly.

Maura smiled appreciatively, her cheeks flooding with color as she looked away and cleared her throat.

"So. Pizza?" she asked, directing Jane's attention onto something else.

The detective chuckled quietly, nodding as she pulled out her phone and searched for a number in her contacts.

"Mushroom?" the brunette mouthed quietly as the phone rang on the other end.

Maura nodded and waited patiently while the detective placed the order. Half pepperoni for Jane, and half mushroom for Maura. Their usual. And once the order had been placed, the detective pocketed her phone and put the car in gear to back it out of the driveway.

After driving in silence for a few seconds, Jane turned as she heard Maura's voice quietly speaking to her from the passenger seat.

"I'm lucky, too, Jane. To have you," the medical examiner said with a smile.

Jane reached her hand over and slipped it behind Maura's neck, running her thumb across soft skin as honey blonde waves brushed against the back of her hand. She returned her gaze to the road, but kept her hand in its new position for the duration of the drive, only removing it as they pulled into the parking lot at the restaurant.

"Were you thinkin' you wanted to come in with me to pick it up? Or did you want to wait in the car? Should only take a minute."

Maura glanced out the window at the dark sky, noticing that the sun had now completely disappeared and been replaced with twinkling stars. She wasn't afraid of the night. She'd never been afraid of it.

So why did she suddenly feel so uneasy at the thought of being alone in it?

She turned back to Jane with a forced smile.

"I can wait. It'll be faster if you just go."

Jane nodded, studying her face for a moment before accepting the expression as genuine and opening the door to exit the car. As the door shut behind her, Maura turned to look out her own window into the darkness. At the few people out walking along the sidewalk.

Her eyes locked onto a younger gentleman, face hidden beneath the shadow of a hat.

Walking with a limp.

_No thanks to those assholes,_ a voice echoed from somewhere inside of her, drowning out the sound of her suddenly pounding heart.

She watched him, feeling her chest begin to tighten as fear slipped over her. He didn't look up, but she was sure he was watching her. She couldn't tear her eyes away.

And then his path took him directly behind her line of vision.

Before she could turn to see where he'd gone, the driver's side car door had flown open and Maura's whole body jumped in terror as a panicked cry slipped from her lips. She next heard a shocked intake of breath, followed by a loud bang that shook the car, and a string of quiet expletives from a female voice directly outside the vehicle. When she finally managed to get a glimpse of who was standing outside in the darkness, she saw Jane rubbing the back of her head with a pained expression on her face.

And glaring angrily at the metal doorframe of the car.

It only took a second for Maura to piece together what had happened.

"Oh, God, Jane! I'm so sorry! I didn't realize-"

The detective held up a hand and shook her head, closing the driver's side door and making her way over to the passenger side. She retrieved the wheelchair from the backseat and set it up outside, opening Maura's door and leaning down to speak with her.

"I thought you would've seen me coming. I didn't mean to scare you," Jane said quietly. "I was just coming to ask if you wanted me to get some cannoli for dessert."

She paused to smile up at the medical examiner, whose facial expression was still a mixture of fear and shock.

"You scared the _shit_ out of me when you jumped like that. I whacked my fool head on the roof of the car," the detective chuckled.

"I'm so sorry, Jane. I didn't know it was you. I thought… it was…"

Jane shook her head.

"It's okay, Maura. I know. Come on, let me take you inside with me."

Maura hesitated for a moment, which prompted the detective to lean the whole way into the car and wrap her up into a tight embrace. Jane gently nuzzled against her neck for a moment, lightly brushing her lips across the skin below Maura's ear before quietly reassuring her,

"It's okay to be scared. You don't have to apologize."

She pulled back to look down into the hazel eyes gazing back at her, hints of fear still lingering behind them. Jane smiled and pressed her lips to the tip of Maura's nose.

"I think _I'll _feel better if you just come in with me this time. I don't know if my head can take another blow like that," she joked, relieved to see a smile form on the medical examiner's face.

"Okay," Maura agreed as she wrapped her arms around Jane's neck in anticipation of being lifted up and over into her wheelchair.

Once the medical examiner was safely seated, Jane locked up the car and grabbed the handles of the chair.

"Did you see somethin' that scared you? Or was it just…"

Jane didn't appear to know how to finish her question, so it simply trailed off. Maura sighed and shrugged her shoulders before replying.

"I _thought_ I saw something, but it was just my memories attempting to integrate themselves into my current perceptions. And then you opening the door… it just scared me. That's all."

The detective reached to open the restaurant door, pulling it open with one hand while pushing the chair forward with the other.

"I'm sorry for leaving you out there alone. I probably should've known better… with what we just did today and all."

"It's okay, Jane. _I'm_ the one who wanted to stay in the car, remember?"

Maura turned to look up at the detective, noticing that she reached up to gingerly touch the back of her head when she thought the medical examiner wasn't looking.

"Will you let me take a look at that when we get back to your place?" Maura asked quietly. "I really am sorry."

Jane stopped and looked down at her in confusion.

"_My _place? Why?"

Maura shrugged again.

"Why not?"

"Well... I don't know. I guess I just thought you wanted to go back home."

"We can do that if you'd prefer. I was just thinking… a change of scenery might be nice. And poor Jo is probably dying for a little attention, with all the time you spend over at my home. And it would just be the two of us. Less crowded."

Jane smirked.

"Oh. _Oh_, I get it now. You want to be alone so you can _examine _me."

"I did not say that, Jane. I said I wanted to take a look at-"

"Uh-huh. Yeah. I know exactly what you said. And I know exactly what you _meant_," the detective teased with a grin.

Eventually, Maura gave up trying to defend herself and gave into the quiet laughter with a shake of her head.

"You're impossible," she chuckled.

Jane leaned down to kiss the top of her head as they made their way over towards the counter to pick up their order.

"I know," she grinned, "but I guess if you _really _want to see Jo that bad, I'll take you home with me. We should probably call your mother, though. Just to let her know when to expect us back for the night."

Maura nodded in agreement.

"I think she would appreciate the courtesy."

Jane gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as she approached the counter and paid for their order, grabbing the boxes in one hand and looking awkwardly down at the handles of the wheelchair.

"You can set them on my lap, Jane. I think these are safe," Maura said quietly.

The detective smiled and let out the breath that she hadn't realized she was holding, then carefully set the boxes down onto Maura's lap.

"Is there a way you can kind of just… hold onto the top of the cannoli box? So it doesn't slide."

Maura nodded and set one splinted hand on top of the box as Jane grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed, stopping to open the door before they headed back out into the night.

The medical examiner turned her head to look towards the sidewalk, feeling her heart begin to race again as memories floated against the edges of her consciousness. She looked for the man who had been limping.

There was no one there.

Her heart continued to pound as they crossed the parking lot, and by the time they reached the passenger side of the car, she felt on the verge of tears as an uncomfortable weight settled over her chest.

_But there's nothing here. There's no one here. You're with Jane. Everything is fine. You're safe here. She's with you._

She watched as the detective carefully put the boxes of food into the backseat of the car, then turned to lift her from the chair, stopping and pulling back at something she saw in Maura's face.

"Maura? Are you okay?"

Maura closed her eyes as she felt her lower lip trembling, still trying to push back the memories. To calm her racing heart. To swallow the lump in her throat and fight the tears that, as far as she was concerned, had no business forming in the first place.

Jane seemed to get her answer, gently reaching out to wrap Maura into her arms for the second time that evening. The tears never fell, but Jane could feel the trembling as it shook her whole body, and the quick, raggedness of each breath as she struggled to pull air into her lungs.

"You're safe, Maura. I'm right here. You're safe. It's just you and me here. Just us, okay? You're okay. But you need to breathe."

"I know, but… I _can't_…" the medical examiner whispered, gasping as she frantically tried to inhale more air than her lungs would allow.

"I know, Maura. I know. Just breathe with me. You're alright. Let's just breathe for a minute, okay? You and me."

Jane gently rubbed Maura's back with one hand as she held her, leaning herself down just a little bit more so that she could rest the side of her face against the medical examiner's.

She placed her other hand against Maura's stomach.

"In and out through here, Maura. Slow. You're okay. You know how to do this."

_Deep breath in, slow breath out, _Jane recited to herself each time she filled her lungs.

After a few moments of silence, she finally felt Maura's body relax as the trembling ceased and her breathing slowed to match Jane's.

"You and I," Maura whispered.

Jane pulled back enough to look at her with her brow lowered in confusion.

"You said 'you and me', but it should've been 'you and I'."

The detective's face broke out into a gentle, relieved smile. She pressed her lips softly to Maura's forehead before responding,

"Well, why don't you and _I _get loaded up into the car so we can go eat some food. Is that okay?"

Maura nodded silently, locking her arms around the detective's neck once again as she was transferred into the car and fastened in. Jane closed the car door and headed back to put the wheelchair into the trunk, then made her way back around to the driver's side and climbed into the seat, turning the key as she sat down.

"Thank you," the medical examiner said quietly, as Jane fastened her own seat belt before shifting the car into gear.

The detective looked over at her, seeming to formulate a response as she trained her eyes on Maura's. She tried to wrangle one of the hundreds of thoughts tumbling around in her brain, but couldn't seem to pin them down. There were so many things she could say. So many things she _wanted_ to say. But she didn't know if saying any of them would actually help Maura. So she didn't.

"You're welcome," she replied with a sad smile.

Then she released the brake and pulled the car back out into the road.

Back out into the night.


End file.
